Amrit & Wife

[Son of Guru Gobind Singh Ji]

Guru Pyareo,

When you go to the Punj Pyare (your Guru) to take amrit tell everything to them and if they permit you to take amrit you can later on have them do ardas for your wife so she is blessed with Sikhi soon.

Rest depends on what the Punj Pyare tell you. They'll most probably restrict any kind of physical relation until she also takes amrit.

[Gupt daasan daas]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

thats what i mean. No , ur, phisical relationship allowed.

bhull chukk maff

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

[bismaadh kaur]

waheguru jee ka khalsa! waheguru jee kee fateh!!

veer jee i suggest that u speak with the punjh pyaaray on this issue. they will be able to give u the best advice..i think most punjh piyaaray will give u amrit without ur wife taking amrit...and they will also tell u what kind of restrictions u have (if any)...

one question..."until your wife takes amrit, you will have to treat her like a sister." (sorry i'm not sure how to quote the other way yet)...

i dont' undestand how this is possible...if someone in the presence of the Guru joins souls with their spouse...how is it possible to just disconnect that connection that was made by Gurbani. i understand that when u take amrit u are reborn...and maybe (thas maybe) u can't have a physical relationship with that person...but, that still doesnt' mean that u have to think of ur spouse as ur sister (or brother for that matter)...that's like saying...when u take amrit and ur spouse doesn't...u are somehow breaking the marriage bond that was made by Gurbani...i no understand it...??

bhul chuck maaf karna

sandeep kaur

[Gupt_Fauj]

WAHEGUROO JI KA KHALSA WAHEGUROO JI KI FATEH!!

amrit is not given unless bothh people in the marriage are willing to take amrit together. the only exection is if one agrees not to have a marital relationship with their spouse one story I read along time ago was of Giani Daleep Singh who was in a similar situation. Here is the part of his story...

#######################################

Before the start of samagam, Giani Harbhajan Singh Chaminda and myself expressed our desire for partaking Amrit. Bhai Sahib said, "Well, take full bath and be present before the Akhand Path starts and listen to whole of the recitation." We did as instructed. After Bhog of Akhand Path, keertan of Asa di Vaar was over by about 10.00 a.m. Panj Piyaras assembled in a room in the presence of Sri Guru Granth Sahib for initiating new Khalsas. Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh Jee, Bhai Attar Singh Jee, Bhai Surjan Singh Jee Gujarwal, Bhai Parbhakar Singh Jee Lalton and a Singh Jee from Phallewal served as Panj Piyaras, and Jathedar Ram Singh Jee was in attendance to Sri Guru Granth Sahib.

First Giani Harbhajan Singh appeared before Panj Piyaras. He was asked whether he was married or not to which he replied that he was married. He was asked if his wife is also with him and ready to partake Amrit. To which he replied that he has come alone. At this he was told that both, he and his wife, should be present together. He alone cannot be administered Amrit. Bhai Harbhajan Singh came out very dejected and weeping, he went straight to a manger (Khurli) in the courtyard, threw himself in it and started wailing uncontrollably. I tried to console him and find out the reason for his grief but he could n

ot utter a word. Then the Panj Piyaras called me; I went inside, bowed before the Guru and stood up with folded hands. Thus proceeded questions and answers about my marital status:

"Are you married or not?"

"I am married."

"Then you can not be administered Amrit in the absence of your wife."

"It means that if my wife does not agree to partake Amrit I will have to die without coming under the umbrage of Guru. I do not need a wife I need Amrit. Please find a way to administer Amrit to me."

"You will have to pledge in the presence of Panj Piyaras and Guru that unless your wife partakes Amrit and she is married to you as per Gurmat traditions by performing Anand Karaj, you will not consider her as your wife."

As I had married as per Hindu rites. I agreed to this condition.

Bhai Sahib again said, "The pledge you are going to take before the Guru is difficult to keep. Give a second thought to it."

I thought for a moment and replied, "I consider Panj Piyaras as living image of omnipresent Guru. When in the presence of Guru, Sri Guru Granth Sahib, the living image of the Guru, Panj Piyaras bless me then I will be able to face any difficult situation and all problems would be solved."

"All right bow before the Guru, you will be administered Amrit."

I was very much attached with Giani Harbhajan Singh. I requested on his behalf, "Harbhajan Singh is very upset. He is weeping and wailing and can not be consoled. Please consider him also under similar condition." My plea was accepted and he was called in again.

#######################################

both singhs recived amrit after agreeing to the conditions by panj pyareh

WAHEGUROO JI KA KHALSA WAHEGUROO JI KI FATEH!!

[Guest balwinderkaur]

thanks for sharing that story gupt fauj.

i wanna be gursikh, it would be ideal if your wife could shukk amrit too......otherwise it could lead to complications in your marriage since yall cant even eat from the same plate. Complications always arise from a small thing leading to another and so on...save all that potential trouble. Encourage her to shukk amrit...its good for her too. But dont force or intimidate her into shukking amrit juz becuz u want to........take things slowly. Amrit di daat will be given when Guruji wills it so. Meanwhile keep being a good sikh of Guruji.

[IWannaBeAGurSikh]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

Thanks for all your replies. Some of the replies have got me concerned.

Is it against Gurmat to share my plate with my kids if they are not amritdhari. They are 1 and 3 years old, I want to bring them up as GurSikhs and would ideally want them to take amrit themselves if/when they feel ready just like my wife wants to.

It feels that my taking amrit I need to step back from my family. I understand that when you take amrit the Khalsa is your new family but the Akal Purakh has blessed me with my wife and children too. I have a God given responsibility to them.

How can I not sit with my little girl in the Gurdwara or at home and not feed her from my plate? How can I now look at my wife and call her my sister? All because they are not amritdhari.

Surely Sikhi should make families not break families??

Bhul Chuk Maaf

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

[nanosecond]

These are important points raised by 'Iwannabeagursikh'

I hope sangat here will help him out

I think feeding ur child even if she's not amritdhari isn't wrong(correct me if i'm wrong) as long as u and she aren't eating from same plate.

Yes veerji Sikhi shud make and not break families and it does. All our Gurus led a family life.

[warrior*princess]

I think you are safe Singh jeee.... Don't worry nothing about it.. Just follow what your mind/soul says.. and believe me that your wife will follow full gursikhi life soon too after seeing you following it .. But just let it be her own choice, you just guide her (two bodies and one Soul)

2 cent from your chota veer  :e:

hanjee with Guru ji's kirpaa, hopefully your wife shall also follow Guru jee's footsteps...

Jau Thoe Prem Kilarn Kaa Chaoe

If you wish to play the game of love with me

Sir Thar Thalee Galee Mairee Aaoe

Place your head upon your palm and walk my way

Eith Marag Paer Thareejai

Place your feet upon this path

Sir Deejai Karn Na Keejai

Give your head and pay no attention to public opinion.

(Guru Nanak Dev ji)

[Gupt_Singh]

iwannabeagursikh

firstly if you do take amrit i personally believe you can eat from the plate of your very young kids - why - because how can a lil kids food be jooth.....they havent even developed an ego yet really so they are not capable of doing/thinking bad stuff IMO....babies r pretty pure really

either way u can still feed them - its gurus hukam to share ur food

i think it all comes down to how importantly you see amrit as. if you are like harbhajan singh and for you sikhi is most important, then u will have no problem abstaining from <admin-profanity filter activated> relations for a few months or years......amrit does not pull families apart and its pretty bad to even think that.....to be honest i think its quite offensive to say that, since amrit is PERFECT in every way.....what is going to cause some small 'gaps' in your family is the fact that your wife is unwilling to commit her self as a sikh of the guru......maybe you should get some gursikhs to have a chat with her......either way dont postpone ur amrit!

[S1ngh]

Veerjeee.. When Guru gobind singh jee asked for five heads on vaisakhi day, guru jee didn't forced that their whole family comes forward too for amrit.. we came alone in this human form, spend our life earning good and bad deeds and then will return back all alone.. So it's all communication/link between You and GOD.. If one wants follow gursikhi jeevan then there should be no family restriction at all..