I've Come Here For Advice & Help.

[Pheena]

Did I miss something? You currently cut your hair and shave you say. So sikhi is not an issue. So then what’s up with the virginity requirement of yours? This actually got you depressed?? What religion is this? What are its followers called?

Even if sikhi was an issue, if she’s done something in the past from which she has learned, then she is arguably ahead of us who too righteously judge her without experiencing the pain of the lesson. She deserves respect, not judgment!

If working toward sikhi is what you are concerned about then she’s possibly near perfect and you’re a very serious going concern.

I don’t suggest Pheena would support my post, And like Pheena, I also apologize for being harsh in my own way.

That is certianly not the case my veer, your thought are just as and probably more important and i don't see why i wouldn't suport your post. Every thoughtful response of a user who write even few words of inspiration, wisdom is of importance. It is not the quantity of the words, but quality and it seems you already have me beat with lesser words and greater quality of thought. The different approaches from each user bring upon the uniqueness that are in the likeness of different flowers in a Garden. Uniqueness and the individual perception of each user's post and thoughts are the recipe for a great discussion.

[SSM]

If I were in your position, I wouldnt' marry her, why marry someone who has had sex.

I know it sounds wrong, I am in the same boat as you, I dont drink, smoke or even club.

The sad part is I have had about 4 opportunities to have sex with a girl and I didn't because I didn't want to sin, viriginity is a thing you can't give away until your marriage.

You choose to belivee it and same with me, I say the right girl will come along. If you fought so many temptations, and its only right that you marry a girl that meets your standards.

I know this is the only post in similar taste, ad some people may be offended by it, but you gotta follow your heart.

Take care

Why not marry someone who has had sex? He accepted her when she told him she had a relationship and he didn't ask more and when he did she answered, he also promised the father and from what I have ben told Guru Gobind Singh Ji tells us not to trust a man that has broken his promise.

I am not saying he should marry her because of that promise but that there is no excuse to back off.

When you say you had four opportunities, out of interest, how did you get to the point of discussing sex with a woman and may I ask if you got at all physical with her. May I point out that some women are not interested in men who have got to the point that you did and so may I suggest that you live unmarried for the rest of your life or at least find someone who has also reached the same point as you did.

Afterall, you do expect this man to only marry someone that has been at the same stage as him.

You say the right girl will come along, may I suggest to you that you read his posts carefully, for him the right girl did come along. She doesn't meet but exceeds his standards she has been honest and he has accepted and now for him to turn away would in my opinion be a big mistake.

I don't know what you mean by similar taste because to follow his heart means to live with and marry her.

[Harsharon]

veer ji,

follow your heart and everything will be fine.

harsharon

[DSD]

...

[Mehtab Singh]

In my eyes, she is a virgin. I know that if I had been drunk and lost my virginity, I would have then started sleeping around as there would be no point. She didn't. She deserves to put all this pain behind her, and I will try my damndest to give her the life/love she deserves. There is no question in my mind about me marrying her. I just hope that guy gets his reward from God.

She had to get over this by herself over the last 4 years. The last thing she'd need is for me to bring it up again, even if I am struggling to get over what happened to her, even if it was before I was around and unable to protect her...

If everyone human being could have that kind of heart, we wouldn't need angels. I am speechless brother. I salute you! You have taught all of us one heck of a massive lesson through an experience from your life. TOLERANCE! ACCEPTANCE! And thats what we Sikhs need the most at this point in history. Tolerance and acceptance towards each other, tolerance and acceptance towards all others.

Once again, I salute you with folded hands

[chandanjit kaur]

Fateh

ok....so i made a mistake?...real srry buddy.....i dunno much....i tried.....sorry

Just in case...

My reply above this post of yours was to the original poster. Not to you or your post. Sorry if that was the impression.

Your post as well as all others are good to see. The original poster of course needs encouragement and support that you provide. I chimed in on a perspective which I thought was a necessary part of the discussion.

LOL....ok.....jus thought it dat way.... :lol: ..its kool

In my eyes, she is a virgin. I know that if I had been drunk and lost my virginity, I would have then started sleeping around as there would be no point. She didn't. She deserves to put all this pain behind her, and I will try my damndest to give her the life/love she deserves. There is no question in my mind about me marrying her. I just hope that guy gets his reward from God.

She had to get over this by herself over the last 4 years. The last thing she'd need is for me to bring it up again, even if I am struggling to get over what happened to her, even if it was before I was around and unable to protect her...

If everyone human being could have that kind of heart, we wouldn't need angels. I am speechless brother. I salute you! You have taught all of us one heck of a massive lesson through an experience from your life. TOLERANCE! ACCEPTANCE! And thats what we Sikhs need the most at this point in history. Tolerance and acceptance towards each other, tolerance and acceptance towards all others.

Once again, I salute you with folded hands

i never looked at it in dat way....thnx for pointing that out veerji

[DSD]

...

[S1ngh]

Everybody make mistakes.. some learn from their mistakes and try to improve their habits.. BUT there are some who surrender their will to the lust even if they feel guilty. So brother.. forget about past. i know it's hard for the guy to live while knowing what happened to their partner but time will heals.. try to keep these topics/thinking away from your mind and start all over again (i think you did)..

Regarding the quote.. Pesh and Kurehit only applies to the person who took amrit from panj piyaray. If one is Amritdhari, he/she has to follow strict "Code of Conduct" called Rehit and if someone breaks it, he/she should go to the panj piyaray and admit their mistakes and then its upto panj piyaray to make the decision. Regarding the Ex-communicated.. that stuff is not for all common folks. Usually its for famous anti-sikh ppls like book author and so on.

[DSD]

...

[Heera Singh]

Vaheguru..

Stay in Chardi Kalaa!!

the best wishes for the both of youzzz..

Vaheguru Vaheguru Vaheguru!