Atm Machines - Male Vs. Female

[B4ND4]

Q: What's the difference b/w puppies and women?

A: Puppies grow up :|

Q: Why do men like smart women?

A: Opposites attract..... :lol:

Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?

A: Because they are...

enuff sed..... hehehehe :lol:

You just changed the original joke ..proves that women are stupid :lol:

[JustME]

You just changed the original joke ..proves that women are stupid :lol:

huh??? :|

u had too much lassi today?

i simply quoted urz and then ripped it to sheds to prove the undisputed fact...............

stupid + dumb = MAN :lol:

[Guest Papi]

i'm baaaaaaaaaaaacckkkk :nihungsmile: ok here we go.

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified. It read: "Wife Wanted" The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: You can have mine.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

[Guest Papi]

Woman - A Chemical Analysis

Element : Woman

Symbol : Wo

Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.

Discoverer : Adam

Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower

concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal

fluctuations.

Physical Properties :

a) Surface usually covered with painted film.

b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.

c) Melts if given special treatment.

d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!

Chemical Properties :

a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.

b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.

c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.

d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in

alcohol to a certain point.

e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.

f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Tests :

a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.

b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Caution :

a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.

b) Illegal to possess more than one.

[Barjinder Singh]

Q: What's the difference b/w puppies and women?

A: Puppies grow up :lol:

:TH:

[JustME]

ooooooooooooh so its like that? :lol:

change phir dnt say didnt warn uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

Dogs miss you when you're gone.

Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.

Dogs don't criticize your friends.

Dogs admit when they're jealous.

Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

Dogs do not play games with you--except Frisbee (and they never laugh at how you throw).

Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.

You can train a dog.

Dogs are easy to buy for.

You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.

The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.

(OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)

Dogs understand what no means.

Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.

Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

Dogs admit it when they're lost.

Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

Men are like......

.....placemats

they only show up when there's food on the table.

.....mascara

they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

.....bike helmets

they're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.

.....government bonds

they take so long to mature.

.....copiers

you need them in reproduction but that's about it.

.....lava lamps

fun to look at it but not all that bright.

.....bank accounts

without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

.....high heels

they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

.....curling irons

they're always hot and always in your hair.

.....handguns

keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

[Guest Papi]

hehe

Courses Women Should be REQUIRED to take

* Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

* The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

* Parties: Going Without New Outfits

* Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game

* Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.

* Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.

* Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking

* Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

* Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

* Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

* Introduction to Parking

* Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

* Cooking I: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

* Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

* Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

* Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have

* Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

* Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

* Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

* TV Remotes: For Men Only

[JustME]

lollllllz! its on now........................ :lol:

Why are marriend women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.

Men are proof of reincarnation.

You can't get that dumb in just one lifetime.

What did God say after she made Eve?

"Practice makes perfect."

What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat?

Divorce him.

What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO?

I don't know, I've never seen either one.

[Guest Papi]

Marriage for men is a three ring circus:

- Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.

Husband: I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months!

- I don't like to interrupt her.

Why do men break wind more than women?

- Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

- She starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman who is shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days."

She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

[۹βkaur۹β]

Men Are Just Happier People - What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

- Chocolate is just another snack.

- Same work, more pay.

- One mood all the time

- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

- You can play with toys all your life

- The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected.

:lol: