Abused Friend In Need Of Help

[JustME]

arnt there any elder sikhs u can turn to in order to sort this out?

if there were then i wudnt be posting here wud i veer :wub:

[Heera Singh]

who cares if her parents know you? wha can they do to you ?? NOTHING!!

your main seva now is to help this bhenji get out of hersituation... she is being beaten and tortured at home... i think you SHOULD get directly involved with her... the police must be called.. otehrwise its only going to get worse... and she HAS TO LEAVE HOME...

i guarantee you if things don't change, they will end up either killing her, or she will commit suicide... we don't need another bhenji goin to the grave over the shtyapidness of punjabi culture... and 'family honour' cr@p...

GET HER OUT OF THERE NOWWW! that's the first and most important step!

[malkeet]

what is the reason that they dont approve ofher marrying her bf?

this is a really terrible situation, if i was in your situation i would firstly approach the family and try to get this all to stop. If they continue to hit her, then i would help her move out either with you, or to another place. She could even live at the gurdwara maybe for a while?

I dont think i could ever call the police to arrest my family, which is why she isnt willing to do this. But this sort of abuse isnt acceptable under any cirumstances. Maybe contact social services, they may be able to help her with accomodation and support

i hope this all is resolved, i find it sickening how some families behave.

fateh

[JustME]

who cares if her parents know you? wha can they do to you ?? NOTHING!!

your main seva now is to help this bhenji get out of her situation... she is being beaten and tortured at home... i think you SHOULD get directly involved with her... the police must be called.. otehrwise its only going to get worse... and she HAS TO LEAVE HOME...

i guarantee you if things don't change, they will end up either killing her, or she will commit suicide... we don't need another bhenji goin to the grave over the shtyapidness of punjabi culture... and 'family honour' cr@p...

GET HER OUT OF THERE NOWWW! that's the first and most important step!

veer i here you but shes just about spoken to me about it after so long........she will not leave where there is doubt that she will not be safe.......that why she wont live with me..............im the only friend her folks know about so they will come.............i hve spoken to her about leaving the country cos she has some friends in Canada but she realy confused...................im going to her house next week and i wanna be able to offer here some practical advice of wot her options are...........

Goli Di Vaar Sada thanks for the link ive written down the fone number and will pass it on......

[KKV]

Don't get involved, I KNOW shes ur mate and u wanna be there for her but its her family thing let her deal with it - am not sayins jus knock her but I don't understand why people even let out family info to others :D Maybe the beatings are bad - but there are usually two sides to each story - am not bein outta order or judgin ur friend - i dunno nothin about the grown-up world but what she did was bad is well - family values and all....i dunno though - but dnt let yourself get involved Bhenj - the third party is the usual one that gets blamed when things go weird....

and no u dnt hav 2 follow wat i say, am just a childish - child :wub: - SO PLEASE DNT GET OFFENDED

[Heera Singh]

to justME - le's say, hypothetically speakin, she DOES come stay with you... even if her parents find out.. wha can they do? they can't come after you.. and if they do, you call the cops.... how won't she be safe if she's stayin wit u?

to KKW - why would we nah get involved? our fellow sister is gettin abused, beatin and tortured at home... i's our DUTY as SIKHS to protect those who are in those situations... to help those in need... to stand by the side of our brothers and sisters and serve humanity in whatever way we can....

in the end it doesn't matter wha her family's side is... no matter what, they have absolutely NO RIGHT to abuse/beat/torture that girl...

that girl needs to realize that she has to get out... i dun understand why people care so much bout hurtin the 'honour' or 'feelings' of those who are physically and mentally abusing them on a daily/weekly basis... her brothers/father; whoever is abusing her, NEED to be taught a lesson....

shoot... send her to canada... i know several people in toronto who would not thinkin twice of givin her sheltor...

bottom line... GET HER OUT of that situation before it gets worse... i dun kno HOW much i can stress that... talk to her... get her to 'let go' of her family, at least for now... get her to 'see the picture'... and she needs to get her head straight, otherwise i's gonna end up gettin more battered by her so called 'family'....

[Medallion Stallion]

to justME - le's say, hypothetically speakin, she DOES come stay with you... even if her parents find out.. wha can they do? they can't come after you.. and if they do, you call the cops.... how won't she be safe if she's stayin wit u?

to KKW - why would we nah get involved? our fellow sister is gettin abused, beatin and tortured at home... i's our DUTY as SIKHS to protect those who are in those situations... to help those in need... to stand by the side of our brothers and sisters and serve humanity in whatever way we can....

in the end it doesn't matter wha her family's side is... no matter what, they have absolutely NO RIGHT to abuse/beat/torture that girl...

that girl needs to realize that she has to get out... i dun understand why people care so much bout hurtin the 'honour' or 'feelings' of those who are physically and mentally abusing them on a daily/weekly basis... her brothers/father; whoever is abusing her, NEED to be taught a lesson....

shoot... send her to canada... i know several people in toronto who would not thinkin twice of givin her sheltor...

bottom line... GET HER OUT of that situation before it gets worse... i dun kno HOW much i can stress that... talk to her... get her to 'let go' of her family, at least for now... get her to 'see the picture'... and she needs to get her head straight, otherwise i's gonna end up gettin more battered by her so called 'family'....

finally, somebody talkin some sense the time for talkin is gone her family cant be reasoned with she has to leave or this bibi will become another statistic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest Narinder Singh]

Whats all this nonsense about not getting involved? If you have to get involved to safe someones freakin life then be it!

If she doesnt call the cops i suggest you do, otherwise she'll be killed or will commit suicide, that's the only outcome i see from this.

Fateh.

[B4ND4]

Not everyone is brave enough to take drastic steps in their lives.

If the bibi is your(JustME) age its better she gets married to someone good (with her parents consent if possible). If she is working then she has the option of moving out aswell or finding a job away from home where she can stay away from home. I have said this earlier too, its impossible to understand what a punjabi woman goes through before she takes a decision that might hurt her family.

[Heera Singh]

i think i's women in general... for example.. all those women who are in abused relationships who for one reason or another seem to run back to their 'men'.... i's the thing of bein 'attached'... feelin as if they 'need' those people in their lives... they dun realize that bein away from those people is the best thing possible.. but they keep goin back... n keep gettin beaten... i's a cycle... only they can end it...

few women actually realize this and do somethin bout it... the rest... well... wha can u say... they're the ones who walk around wit bruised bodies, broken bones, and emotional scars fa da ress'a their lives...

we as brothers n sisters must take da iniative to help them realize...