Sikh Intermarriage

[Mutheeaa]

Especially when we are on loosing side ....... In UP(india) they have banned sikh girl marrying another religion boy while vice versa is allowed .................. Duality here also.

[Mehtab Singh]

supersingh1984, please take it easy veeray. Maybe she is genuinely in need of advice. Lets not push people away from Sikhi. What kind of example are we setting here by making someone asking for help feel guilty like a culprit?

[mann_kaum_layee_qurbaan]

its easy for a chritsian guy to accept your "sikhi" because your not really following it. keep unshorn hair, read gurbaani daily, take amrit, and then come back on this forum and let us know how he's accepting you.

and this isn't true of just people of other faiths. even punjabi parents are cool with their kids' sikhi until they actually start being sikhs and take amrit, then even punjabi "sikh" parents freak out and don't accept them.

look, i know how these relationships muddle the mind, and its cool. its all a big learning process. every moment in our lives is a chance to practice our dharm, our faith, not just believe in it. like when your driving and your suddenly cut of on the road, do you swear? do you give the guy the finger? do you tailgate him/her? or do you remmeber the concpet of Khimma and santokh and practice it? when we eat do we remember god?

every single second, microsecond is a chance to live your religion. so just sit back, relax and think about it. what do you want in life? because God's amazing thing is that we all get what we want. you may not believ thsi but thsi is the truth that gurbaani reveals. we reap what we sowe.

so if your here today wanting to marry a christian guy and your family is freaking out well guess what, i'm no fortune teller or sant, but you'll get what you want, you'll get the christian guy as your husband and some serious family tension for a long time. and when your in that family tension, there will be no point in complaining because god gave you what you wanted, and in our manmat, most of the time we want pain, and never realize it.

anyways, good luck, life's a journey, we all fall off track, and we get a litte muddy, but God never thinks twice about embracing us.

peace.

[JustME]

its easy for a chritsian guy to accept your "sikhi" because your not really following it. keep unshorn hair, read gurbaani daily, take amrit, and then come back on this forum and let us know how he's accepting you.

:WW:

[singh-khalsa]

Hi Everybody,

I am twenty four years old and a Sikh woman. I was born into Sikhism, but I am not amrit shakh or baptized. I believe in God, in being a good person, in love and not in hate...in equality. I think Sikhism is a beautiful religion but the truth is I do have trimmed long hair (so it is not unshorn) and I eat meat, I have dated three people...I'm not a "perfect" Sikh, but I love my family and we are very close - and my grandparents' generation - my grandparents on both sides of my family have always been extremely religious, and a very well known and respected traditional Sikh punjabi family in my community. Two of my grandparents often speak at the gurdwara to preach Sikhism, or give speeches at community events, be it a wedding or an akhand path. One of my grandfathers is a giani. My entire life I have been "good" and respectful. I have never gone against my parents. I have never caused them any grief. Most of the time it's because I agree with them. I don't party hard, I have good respectable friends, I don't talk back to parents, I love and respect them and keep them in my mind and heart when making decisions. I've dated two boys with the intention of finding someone for marriage, but both ended rather quickly and they were both Punjabi and Sikh. I was okay with and open to the concept of arranged marriage my entire life. These days it is hardly arranged, just families mutually respecting one another and the boy and girl passing the screening tests of education or caste and looks or whatever the families want...then they meet, and if they click, they get engaged and eventually married. Although I didn't plan to, in medical school I fell in love with a classmate. He is a Christian. My family is against it, and I am being threatened that I will be pulled out of school if I continue to see this man anymore. I am told that I am doing something wrong and disrespectful, and losing my self respect, and that if I do this, I will ruin the name of my father and grandfathers forever, and they will never be able to speak at the temple again.

I love them so much, and I appreciate all they have done for me. For years I agreed with them and this is the "worst" i have done in my life. I don't really date, and I don't drink or party or smoke...the love I found with this person is what truly makes me happy and complete and I don't want to let it go. My brother who lives with me overseas is in a relationship with a punjabi sikh and does all of the above things including some criminal activity and has gotten into some legal trouble at my expense and my family's...but he takes it upon himself to tell on me to my parents about my relationship because it is "wrong" yet he denies his so he won't get into trouble... I told my parents that this man would marry me and that he told his parents about me...and that in their culture they also have to get engaged before actually BEING with the person and courting them. I am afraid of what will happen if I don't cut it off, yet I cannot bring myself to let go of something this special. We would both eventually want to get married. I don't believe in premarital sex. I would keep my faith and he would keep his. I don't want to lose my family, and I don't want to lose him...I wish they would support me and be happy that I found someone so loving and caring...the "perfect" punjabis I dated were Sikhs by birth but weren't always the nicest people...and I couldn't even talk to them about faith...the ironic thing is I connect so much with this non-sikh person when discussing faith because we believe in the same things ABOUT God and the world and human beings. Is it true that a sikh cannot marry a non sikh? If this is true, where does love come into play? what if you really really love someone and you want to marry them? isn't that a normal human thing? isn't love and mutual respect for religion and faith and God and being a good person a good thing? I have such a hard time understanding how religion and culture which are supposed to be good things can sometimes put up huge walls when it comes to love...what do you all think is the right thing to do? and those of you who say if you would accept it, would you accept it if your own child or sibling did it? or are u just okay with it if others do it? my family is okay with others doing it, but none of their own...because then people would talk about us and my family makes their position known that they dont condone family members that we dont get along with who do choose to marry out of the religion.

any comments or questions would be appreciated.

God bless you all.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa WAHEGURU JI ki fateh dktsikh,

I m sorry i only read ur post. I M not as old to give a good advice but just telling u what I think. u said u love ur parets right? and u love that guy? ok now tell me one thing u love both of em and from them who loves u more, ur parents or that guy. dude ur parents did alot for u from the time u came on this earth. u know what the person who love u from heart expect alot from u. thatz why when u go in wrong dirction they get mad with u. DO YOU THINK TO GET ONE LOVE, IT IS OK TO BREAK UR PARENTS HEART WHO LOVE U FROM THE TIME OF UR BIRTH. yaar how u say that he will be ur perfact partner. ok now listen i had a frind she was in love with a guy. she didn't listen to me or his parents. she was like u r so young u dont know what love is. i said ok go and do whatever. she get married his husband went to some place and never come back. she tried to find out if he is alive or not and what she find out is he married to another women. and that was his third marriage. now what happens? it was her parents who let her stay with them wheter she disrespwct them

and that is true love. now i dont want u do same thing. dude love is nothing and love is everything. love ur parents and brother sisters. if u dont find true love go and pray god will be ur true love and if u still want more pyar come here u wil find many brother sisters on sikhsangat and they will really love u. and make u come to smagams and diff places. and if u do this i bet u will c that u get a new beautiful life.

sorry i m younger than u but giving u advices

bhul chuk maff karni ji

waheguru ji ka khalsa

waheguru ji ki fateh

[sherlsurj]

singh-khalsa why are you sorry for giving advice to someone older than you. she obviously needs it as she is acting like a spoilt teenager. as for the person asking supersingh1984 to calm down and stop pushing people away from sikhi i think she is managing and has managed to do that herself. some of you guys are far too passive

[singh-khalsa]

singh-khalsa why are you sorry for giving advice to someone older than you. she obviously needs it as she is acting like a spoilt teenager. as for the person asking supersingh1984 to calm down and stop pushing people away from sikhi i think she is managing and has managed to do that herself. some of you guys are far too passive

veerji i said sorry because these days people wanna listen what thwy want. they said they need advice but they dont want, now for sikhi i want her to be in sikhi, live a life of a singhni. hope she listen to me.

bhul chuk maff gurfateh

[sherlsurj]

yeah singh-khalsa of course we want that. but what can you do if people like her dont listen or dont even want to?

[Medallion Stallion]

singh-khalsa why are you sorry for giving advice to someone older than you. she obviously needs it as she is acting like a spoilt teenager. as for the person asking supersingh1984 to calm down and stop pushing people away from sikhi i think she is managing and has managed to do that herself. some of you guys are far too passive

LOL im driving her away! once you get into sikhi no one can drive you away :nihungsmile: yea people are way to passive sometimes in order to save someone from doing something you need tough love..........of course he is going to say to her to keep doing what she is doing just to keep her sweet cos thats what guys do!lol anyway i agree above he's is only happy with you because you aint into sikhi like you said in your original post...........if he aint religious himself do you really think he is going to waste time going with you to the Gurdwara? LISTEN DONT make the mistake of thinking that you will slowly introduce him to your religion and to some extent cuture when you get married because your family will probably cut you off and society will look down on you know how OUR society can get they judge plain and simple etc for not listening to you parents so there goes the culture you wont be able to mix with family init you know how it works and as for religion well we all know where you stand on that............think carefully about the REAL LIFE consequences of going ahead with this because there is no going back...........because let me tell you once you do get married and start living together thats when you will find out what he really is like init.

[sherlsurj]

marriage is a massive commitment its not just all lovey dovey as many people think, espec if you are marrying someone from a diff religion. its not easy mixing the two so its kind of naive thinkin that he will conform or vice versa. as supersingh1984 its also affects your relationship with your family-whether they admit it or not, friends etc.