Children

[OhTwadi]

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[sikh_youth_uk]

good parenting is timeless.

..but they say previous principles and disiplence is better.

Who's "they"?

If you think good parenting = beating kids, then

Don’t think of it as beating think of it as discipline.

[OhTwadi]

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[sikh_youth_uk]

what bout this process.

1. word of warning

2.strong word

3.smacking

[dalsingh101]

Kids, especially boys need discipline.

[MPKaur]

Ok, as a mother of 3, I know a thing or 2 about kids. On top of that my field is motivation. Well still i don't pretend to know everything and have all the answers.

As for any parents, I'm pretty sure most parents do the best tehy can with what they know. Unfortunately many parents might be ill equipped with raising children.

Some of you think beating is the way to go? The fact is in research, beating are associated with children who have low psychological well-being. What are you teaching your kids when you beatr them up? Violence is the way to resolve things?

I don't think so.

On the other hand, letting the children do whatever they want isn't the answer either.

One can see the above 2 types of discipline are quite opposite. Parenting isn't black or white. three is a whole range.

Discipline and boundaries is a must. But the way to go about it may have crucial effects on the children. One of the best book i read on parenting was "How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk" Great book!!!!

Children too hand up on a continuum. Not all become amritdhari or good sikhs, take the example of Prithi Chand, the son of Guru Ram Das, and not every kids who don't get beatings end up beer drinking or owning strip club. Come on.

You need to invest a lot of times raising children, especially in there early years. Many parents though are very busy a living. It's really hard. I too come back home, I'm tired, I have to ciik supper, clean up, supervise the kids homework, their baths, their baja practice, read to them, take some time to teach paath, Gurus' stories,....

But still even then a parents must find a form of discipline and stick to it. I know for my older son, taking away is video game times really works.

I don't want my kids to behave because of fear but because they know right from wrong. It takes more time because i not only have to use discipline but i also have to take the time to explain why you don't do a certain thing.

I am still scared when i think of Prithi Chand...

But i think I have to do my part and God will do the rest as his preordained destiny...

[rupinder singh]

Ultimately you can be the strongest disciplinary in town. But only time will tell how your child will turn out. It will be interesting to have a reunion 20 years from now, look back at our opinions and see how our children actually turned out, but then that’s not the end, things can change so fast. I have seen alcoholics become Gurmukhs, I have seen amritdharis become alcoholics. Circumstances, opinions, views and lives can change so fast and in many instances it’s out of our control.

[JustME]

Those punjabi slappers need the biggiest slap espically the school girls ones who wear make up.

and suppose u gonna go give em one.......u seem to have all the answers veera so gud luck to u....................

[wjkk wjkf]

Dad often used to have a one-to-one with us to find out why we did something wrong - he never wanted us to hide anything. The worst thing you could do was lie! He'd explian why what we did was wrong or explain why we shouldn't do it again.

We used to get the odd tappar if we did something REALLY bad, but I know my parents felt worse than us afterwards. Punishments that really worked on us were things like sitting in 3 corners of the room in silence staring at the wall for an hour lol we used to PRAY for a tappar instead of that!

Also, when our parents would take something away from us for being bad - that worked wonders lol

SILENT TREATMENT is the punishment that worked best. lol I used to hate when dad wouldnt talk to me for a day. :H:

[lowest of the low singhni]

I think it's different for every family, they need to find a way which works best for them. It's good to share your experiences but at the end of the day not everyone is the same and not everyone's minds work in the same way. It seems like every parent will do what they think is right based on their own experiences. There is no set way to discipline your kids, you have to figure it out yourself.

E.g. I've had beatings and I've had the silent treatment for weeks at a time, but I feel it's done my family relationships more harm than good. Therefore if I have children those are two things which hopefully will be a long way down on the list of ways to discipline kids. From my experiences I think that the fear in a parent-child relationship should be similar to the fear in a Gurmukh-Guru relationship; the fear of disappointing your parent, fear of not making them proud of you. That kind of relationship also needs love and respect. But too much fear can also break the relationship down completely and that leads onto all sorts of other issues.

It's different for everyone.