Problem

[Guest *]

this is a seriosu question and i hope the mods keep this thread, so at the risk of souding repetitive( for the gupt section) here it is:

i keep a dastaar and i have all of my hair but since ive been engaged I have been feeling insecure about my bodily hair, I know that girsl have hair as well as boys ( moreso in south asian women, Italian , etc) but I feel as if its excessive on my legs etc..

ive discussed this with my fiancée and he says that he is fine with it, I think its because he hasn’t seen rally how much it is and he probably thinks its not much wen its most likely as much as he has, im pretty sure it is as much as his.

This makes me feel really insecure and sad and the reason I even posted here is because sometimes I feel that this will interfere in a lot of things after marriage and it is that serious of an insecurity/problem with me.

I t makes me feel ashamed and less feminine and I don’t feel comfortable with him seeing meor even feeling my legs etc..especially when ihave as much as him on my legs im sure and that makes me feel like im not feminine and it makes me feel bad.

So I pose a question to the male population on sikhsangat, what would you say if your fiancée said she had as much hair as you, would you seriously want her to keep it or would it feel weird,be a turn off for you? I need to know this I guess because for some reason I cant believe that my fiancée could feel that it was actually a good thing that I had so much hair and that it was attractive..some of you may say if you have it on your body you have it on your face etc too and he accepts that but I don’t have as much on my face ( I used to do things to get it removed before I came into sikhi) and so I think he thinks that it might not be much hair on my body either when it really is..

Hopefully some mature and serious answers can be given…

[Guest peacemaker]

Hair on ANY part of body looks beautiful for both men and women. I respect you for keeping it natural and I'm sure your fiancee will love you no matter how much hair you have because true love can never be based on how much or even how little hair you have!! It is something much deeper than that, which I'm sure you realize.

Feminine and masculine are just earthly terms, so don't get too hung up on them, please! If we think having long hair on our head is perfectly fine, then why do we sometimes have problems with having hair on other parts of our body? Is it any less beautiful just because it grows on a different part of our body other than our head?

In closing, I respect people like you who don't alter their bodies just because society thinks it is the norm to do so. You gooo, girl!!!!!!! Be proud of yourself, hairy legs and all! Your fiancee is a very lucky man to find an untouched gem such as yourself in the vast sea of maya!

P.S. Don't ever hide behind the mask of shame like the man in my avatar. Keep your head up and be proud of the way that God made you!!!!

[LifeIsBeautiful]

Hi to the paanji,

I honestly think you have nothing to worry about, so you have hair on your body. I know we wait all our lives to find a right jeevan sathi, if you feel really insecure, maybe tell him. Why hide something from him, if you feel it will hurt your marriage.

I think if the guy's good, he won't care, I used to think if a girl wasn't a virgin, it was the end of the world, I have been going out with someone for the past 3 months, and she told me everything about herself, and I think that was better I found out now, than think she had with held me stuff if got extremely serious.

[Tarrandeep Kaur]

this is a seriosu question and i hope the mods keep this thread, so at the risk of souding repetitive( for the gupt section) here it is:

i keep a dastaar and i have all of my hair but since ive been engaged I have been feeling insecure about my bodily hair, I know that girsl have hair as well as boys ( moreso in south asian women, Italian , etc) but I feel as if its excessive on my legs etc..

ive discussed this with my fiancée and he says that he is fine with it, I think its because he hasn't seen rally how much it is and he probably thinks its not much wen its most likely as much as he has, im pretty sure it is as much as his.

This makes me feel really insecure and sad and the reason I even posted here is because sometimes I feel that this will interfere in a lot of things after marriage and it is that serious of an insecurity/problem with me.

I t makes me feel ashamed and less feminine and I don't feel comfortable with him seeing me or even feeling my legs etc..especially when ihave as much as him on my legs im sure and that makes me feel like im not feminine and it makes me feel bad.

So I pose a question to the male population on sikhsangat, what would you say if your fiancée said she had as much hair as you, would you seriously want her to keep it or would it feel weird,be a turn off for you? I need to know this I guess because for some reason I cant believe that my fiancée could feel that it was actually a good thing that I had so much hair and that it was attractive..some of you may say if you have it on your body you have it on your face etc too and he accepts that but I don't have as much on my face ( I used to do things to get it removed before I came into sikhi) and so I think he thinks that it might not be much hair on my body either when it really is..

Hopefully some mature and serious answers can be given…

:6 tell him not to feel your legs then :umm:

but yeah like peacemaker said, i respect you for not deciding to alter your hair on your body, and keeping it all in tact. Your fiance obviously doesnt have a problem with it, so you shouldnt either. i dont think you even need to tell him, i doubt he'll even see it as an issue. if a singh decided not to marry someone on the basis of the bibi having a bit of extra kesh, then what does that say about the singh?

gurfateh jee

[Guest :D]

for what I am about to say lol i decided to keep gupt! I am a bibi so i doubt very much what I say will help lol but hairy legs rock!!!! :wub: lol it's soooooo cool, i love the hair on my legs and at home i

walk around in either my kachera or i wear my brother's shorts on top lol :lol: it's feels so good to not have to think about waxing/shaving and wasting money and time and effort and then getting those little itchy spot things when the hairs growing back in. I doubt your legs will be a problem for your fiance, end of the day his decision to marry you is most likely based on YOU, your spirit, your personality and not on how much hair you have!

[lowest of the low singhni]

Sorry, I know you asked the guys to answer, but you're not alone you know.

It seems like you're worrying a lot and the worry is coming from nobody but yourself. You need to fight your insecurity issues because it seems like your fiance is already accepting and loving you for who you are. It might seem like he's just saying these things to make you feel better but I think it would do you good to have a little more trust in him and his words.

So talk to him, trust him and have faith in Guru Saheb.

for what I am about to say lol i decided to keep gupt! I am a bibi so i doubt very much what I say will help lol but hairy legs rock!!!!

I remember once yelling that to an entire hall-ful of Bibian/Singhs in an effort to make them understand. I don't know if it worked as everybody looked at me as if I was on drugs. Tis true though.

[mskcan]

this is a seriosu question and i hope the mods keep this thread, so at the risk of souding repetitive( for the gupt section) here it is:

i keep a dastaar and i have all of my hair but since ive been engaged I have been feeling insecure about my bodily hair, I know that girsl have hair as well as boys ( moreso in south asian women, Italian , etc) but I feel as if its excessive on my legs etc..

Society dictates via the media and popular culture what is considered 'ideal'. Through this and various sub-conscious mediums the mind (Your Thoughts) become conditioned into a way of thinking that is not necessarily your own.

The thoughts are there no doubt, but you only believe them because of the perception created via the ego (That is not to say you are full of ego, but we all have ego instilled within the mind, afterall ego is Edging God Out). Thus...

ive discussed this with my fiancée and he says that he is fine with it,

What does his being 'fine with it' have to do with you? Nothing it is only your throught processes and perceptions that are creating this difficult reality for you.

I think its because he hasn't seen rally how much it is and he probably thinks its not much wen its most likely as much as he has, im pretty sure it is as much as his.

Aha! It is indeed your mind stating 'he probably thinks'. What is in thinking that you can not be the Spiritual being living the temporal human experience it has been blessed to experience. Once again somehow your mind has been conditioned by extrinsic factors that make you consider your self perception from a place of ego, that is our conditioned thoughts from external perceptions. At this point you may be asking, or maybe not, if not our thoughts then what place is it within us? Consider this, if we were thinking all the time then all we would be is thought. However, those who have been Spiritually Awakened explain to us that we are not our thoughts, or our mind. We are the Spiritual Awareness behind those thoughts. That is why in times of stillness (during meditation for example) we are able to 'Observe' our thoughts. If we can observe our thoughts then who are we? The Spiritual Essence that is our True Self.

This makes me feel really insecure and sad and the reason I even posted here is because sometimes I feel that this will interfere in a lot of things after marriage and it is that serious of an insecurity/problem with me.

Unfortunately this is a result of not being your True Self. Consider a baby. does a child complain about its own skin, its own human limitations when it plays and experiences the world for what it is? No, because it is completely innocent of the conditions placed upon it by the world. Indeed we must live and be a part of this world, but we can also be mindfully apart from the world while playing within it. You must consider for yourself what you want, do you want peace and happiness of yourself (which will send positive chemicals streaming through your body) or do you want to self degrade yourself or be constantly in the Muthi (grip) of ego (which is our conditioned minds). Consider the hair will always grow back, any person who trys to remove it is merely in that constant state of EGO (Edging God Out) that we know removes themselves necessarily from their own Spiritual awakening. That is not to say that people who remove hair can not have spiritual experiences, indeed thay can. However, you prescribe your self to a lifestyle that is wholy in a place of non-ego, thus you Awareness is different from the rest of society or ego-filled society whatever it may be.

I t makes me feel ashamed and less feminine and I don't feel comfortable with him seeing meor even feeling my legs etc..especially when ihave as much as him on my legs im sure and that makes me feel like im not feminine and it makes me feel bad.

So I pose a question to the male population on sikhsangat, what would you say if your fiancée said she had as much hair as you, would you seriously want her to keep it or would it feel weird,be a turn off for you?

Someone who holds their self head strong and can live with their situation prescribes to a very different aura to that person who is self conscious. It has nothing to do with a persons perceptions, it has to do with the reality that you portray. If you constantly point out your own perceive self deficiency then that in the minds of others will condition to believe this as True. What is Truth for you, hair or no hair, that is all that matters.

I need to know this I guess because for some reason I cant believe that my fiancée could feel that it was actually a good thing that I had so much hair and that it was attractive..some of you may say if you have it on your body you have it on your face etc too and he accepts that but I don't have as much on my face ( I used to do things to get it removed before I came into sikhi) and so I think he thinks that it might not be much hair on my body either when it really is..

Perhaps this is the source of your previously conditioned thoughts, manifesting as fear, hesitation, doubt and duality currently. The answer will only come when you can go into that GAP between anxiety of the future, and invested fear from past. That Gap is where there is inner silence and self realisation in the absence of our minds unscrupulous thoughts.

Hopefully some mature and serious answers can be given…

I am married by the way, and I do feel that this simple requires a little Introspection and Self Awareness.

As above, regards and Gurfateh

[Guest peacemaker]

I remember once yelling that to an entire hall-ful of Bibian/Singhs in an effort to make them understand. I don't know if it worked as everybody looked at me as if I was on drugs. Tis true though.

That seems like an unusual thing to yell. :lol: I would've probably just laughed uncontrobally if I heard that. Not that I don't agree with your sentiment, of course.

i love the hair on my legs and at home i

walk around in either my kachera or i wear my brother's shorts on top lol :lol:

:wub: :LOLz:

[Guest _hmmm_]

Errr, if your fiancee is ok with it, then what's the problem?

And all these years I thought girls were ashamed of body hair cause they thought no guy would want to marry them :gg:

Tis not the case :o or so it seems

I tell you man, there just aint no pleasing you girls

[Guest peacemaker]

And all these years I thought girls were ashamed of body hair cause they thought no guy would want to marry them :gg:

Do you want to get a slap, MR P?!!