Problems Getting Married

[Papi]

london001, I feel your pain brotha, I guess don't loose heart, keep trying and most of all you must do ardaas and guru sahib will find the right match for you

Now to give this thread a reality check.

why dont u try canada, specifically surrey BC or calgary or toronto, lots of sikh women there..

right, I've seen girls in these cities, MOST of them remove hair from their face and then proudly say "i'm a singhni" :rolleyes: When I was in BC a short while ago, I was initially extremely surprised to see this. But the surprise quickly turned into disappointment as almost every girl was like that! I'd rather marry a "moni" who is true to herself than such "singhnia"

we are sons of dasmesh pita so we look like them ...if we have faith in them there will be no trouble finding a job as a sabat surat nor a girl ... all we need to do is have faith try and wait ....

o yaar NRI mundiya piche taan punjab vich line lagi payi hai.

Translation: In Punjab girls line up to marry a NRI (Non-Resident Indian) boy. But you forget that most of them only do it so they can leave Punjab and get PR card abroad...That's just wrong at so many levels. I've seen disasters happen when people do this, one needs to be very careful when finding a kuri in Punjab.

try out toronto, vancouver or california

Vancouver kuria scare me now. I was told that they have a bad reputation (of course I'm generalizing) but when reality check hit me, it still came as a huge surprise.

if u are a pag vala singh u have no shortage

Yes you do, pugh is not the only requirement; dumala, chola, big kirpan are also a requirement. Apparently, the only way to become a singh is to wear a dumala :rolleyes:

Family come to mamas pind n goes they want a gursikh for there daughter should not drink eat meat drugs + should be keshdari but they want him clean shaven ?????

We can deny it all we want, but this is happening a lot these days.

On another note, I personally believe that the reason Sikhi is suffering is due to bibia's attitude on wanting to marry non-kesadhari Sikh...

[SunSingh]

There are actually a lot of proper sikh girls. Most amritdhari people do not advertise for rishta in newspapers, they are networked with each other and this is how most rishtay happen. That is why you have the wrong perception that it's too hard to find Gursikh girls.

Thing that matters most is your confidence. Confidence is an internal thing, it doesn't come from outside. The confidience that comes from outside is a temporary one. Most Gursikh males that cannot find a rishta like to blame their saroop in order to deflect the blame from the true reason. True reason is usually that they lack confidence, may not be good looking, may lack prospects for the future due to lack of education, are not secure in themselves, or a lack of adequte networking with other Gursikh parrents and their own etc. If this wasn't accurate then why have so many Gursikh guys had no trouble at all finding a proper Gursikh girl???

[AmarjitKaur]

There are actually a lot of proper sikh girls. Most amritdhari people do not advertise for rishta in newspapers, they are networked with each other and this is how most rishtay happen. That is why you have the wrong perception that it's too hard to find Gursikh girls.

Thing that matters most is your confidence. Confidence is an internal thing, it doesn't come from outside. The confidience that comes from outside is a temporary one. Most Gursikh males that cannot find a rishta like to blame their saroop in order to deflect the blame from the true reason. True reason is usually that they lack confidence, may not be good looking, may lack prospects for the future due to lack of education, are not secure in themselves, or a lack of adequte networking with other Gursikh parrents and their own etc. If this wasn't accurate then why have so many Gursikh guys had no trouble at all finding a proper Gursikh girl???

rightly said veerji.

SINGH doojiyan nu blame nahi karde, khud vich kamiyan labhde ne te unna nu pooriyan karde ne.

STOP blaming the girls, get the confidence you lack (I am talking to the boys whose confidence shakes at times).

[apnepart2]

Also there is also about 16% gap between marriageable boys and girls in Punjab. For every 100 guys you have only 84 girls. In future boys are gonna face extreme shortage of wives. Therefore they might have to go back to the days of Pandavs, one wife for all the brothers in a family.

London don't loose heart , nobody got the whole world. But you will get your wife, just keep looking.

[AmarjitKaur]

Also there is also about 16% gap between marriageable boys and girls in Punjab. For every 100 guys you have only 84 girls. In future boys are gonna face extreme shortage of wives. Therefore they might have to go back to the days of Pandavs, one wife for all the brothers in a family.

London don't loose heart , nobody got the whole world. But you will get your wife, just keep looking.

Isn't it about time that we stop killing girls in mother's womb. Hopefully by having difficulty finding a single wife for single person would teach lesson to current generation not to create shortage for next generation by keeping preference for boys only.

Even being very serious issue, your going back to pandavs comment made me laugh.

[buddasingh]

ur trying at wrong place ... i have never seen a sikh guy in trouble regarding wedding ... infact sabat surat singhs start getting marriage purposals as soon as they hit 20 ... all you need to do is let girls parents search u ... there is a news paper know as ajit in punjab give ur matrimonial ad there ... specifying ur turbaned non trimmer gursikh boy looking for a gursikh girl and u will get few replies soon ...

we are sons of dasmesh pita so we look like them ...if we have faith in them there will be no trouble finding a job as a sabat surat nor a girl ... all we need to do is have faith try and wait ....

i have not seen an amritdhari girl wanting to marry a mona guy ... nor i wish and expect sikh born girls who cut her hair to marry a singh ...

JASSA: You are right ! Singhs should not start crying because some girl does not want a boy who has the suroop of the Sikh -I say good riddance/ thanks for letting me know.

If you keep getting turned down, then think:

a. is it because I am looking in the wrong places/ attracting the wrong girls

b. even if they said yes and you got married -she may not have the maturity/ mental balance to have a successful marriage with a Sikh and carry the next generation of a Sikh parvar

c. you are projecting the wrong image

I hate all this self pity -cant get married. I know loads of Sikh families whose daughters/ sisters want Sikh boys with the suroop.

Get a fit body/ develop a sense of humour/ get a 'wow' job/ be confident/ be proud to be a Sikh and watch them flock and queue !!!!!

Bang on post. instead of worrying about girls/women, just run away from them. That alone technically may mean they're chasing you, any physicists or engineers that can confirm this?

Anyway, with all types of relationships in life; in addition to other wise tips here, always be chardikhala and be yourself. Finding a suitable partner can be tough for people of all walks of life, but our suroop is only something that aids us in any endeavor. However, our mind can become an obstacle.

[jgill]

i see so many singhs, and especially in high school and you see this in surrey high schools and at ubc in vancouver, were you have confident strong singhs with some of the most beautiful girls, more then anything girls want men with confidence casue confidence shows power and strength, i just attended a wedding were a singh married a sikh girl whose in modelling and she is gourgoussssss but it was easy to tell why she fell for the singh, cause growing up with the guy he's always bin a strong confident dude with tons of ambition be it at ice hockey or at school or at buisness he competes to be at the top at the end of the day if you take care of yourself go to the gym have confidence and be strong with who you are with hardcore amount of ambition in life dude you'll get the girls you want

[Jag_Singh]

i see so many singhs, and especially in high school and you see this in surrey high schools and at ubc in vancouver, were you have confident strong singhs with some of the most beautiful girls, more then anything girls want men with confidence casue confidence shows power and strength, i just attended a wedding were a singh married a sikh girl whose in modelling and she is gourgoussssss but it was easy to tell why she fell for the singh, cause growing up with the guy he's always bin a strong confident dude with tons of ambition be it at ice hockey or at school or at buisness he competes to be at the top at the end of the day if you take care of yourself go to the gym have confidence and be strong with who you are with hardcore amount of ambition in life dude you'll get the girls you want

What a post....wow. jee I bow to such posts...........

[humanbeing]

Hi London,

I fully agree with you...I am also living in UK and the following thing just amuses me (please people no offence meant...these are only my view points):

a) There is a lot of caste system out here. A jat will only marry into a Jat....a Khatri into a khatri and so on...

b) People advt themself as sikh but then prefer a clean shaven or person who is modern (i.e. without a turban and beard!!!)

And this is not only the case in UK but back home in India as well. Another problem back home is that girls do not wish to come over to a western country any more. There has been lots of cases recently where the girl/boy from India has been harrassed by the boys from western countries...so people are now afraid to get their children married off to these people.

Sorry I just diverted from the topic...what I wanted to say that finding a good match is really becoming quite difficult now...and the reasons are numerous...one is that people are now becoming quite choosy and have some set preferences....(like for eg: girls that want to marry a clean shaven person).

Sometimes I laugh when I look at the profiles of "sikh" boys on the popular website shaadi.com Now dont get me wrong, I am not gay or the wrong kind of person...I once thought of looking at the boys profile to see what my competition is !!!! And belive me 98% of the so called sikhs were actually "clean shaven" sikhs or the funny sikhs with funny beards!!! Anyway...thats the product that is available in the market for so called girls that look for a sikh person without a turban...but at the end of the day it is one's preference and if girls like it that way let them have it that way.

My advice to you is to keep looking for the right person...there is always some one out there made for the person...it might take a while, but definitely you will find someone...

All the very best

Regards

[West London Singh]

I'll tell you what London001...don't be too pessimistic...you'e living in the best place to get married as a Singh. I managed it....and I'm no oil painting. Look around you....so many young Singhs with paghs ; All managed to get married.

Its not the same in Canada. There, you'll struggle to find the same percentage of local born youths with paghs. We looked for a girl there for me a few years ago. Unlike here, local born sikhs generally do NOT keep their hair. Same problem in India. But in India the problem is even worse. There, you could even marry an amritdhari girl, but after marriage you'll be shocked to see how many hindu practices she has in her life which she confuses with sikhism.

No.....This country is THE best place to find a wife if you are a Singh.

Good Luck.