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Oki i have a friend she is running through troubles like depression she had very much faith in god but its broken now ... she had applied for an addmission in some school last month and did ardas to guru ji she should get admission only if it would be good ... and she got admission she was very much happy ... but when she reached there people around she is like in bad mental state again ... her faith is broken ... she is not willing to go to gurdwara or do path any more all the time she is crying and having loads of tension on her head ... i have tried to help her as much as i can by doing path seva etc what ever came in my mind for her ... i do ardas for her every day ... now she is like i want to kill my self etc ... i need sangats help if everyone who is reading this can take few minutes out and do ardas for her chardikalla ... that would be very much helpfull ...

Thank you

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Oki i have a friend she is running through troubles like depression she had very much faith in god but its broken now ... she had applied for an addmission in some school last month and did ardas to guru ji she should get admission only if it would be good ... and she got admission she was very much happy ... but when she reached there people around she is like in bad mental state again ... her faith is broken ... she is not willing to go to gurdwara or do path any more all the time she is crying and having loads of tension on her head ... i have tried to help her as much as i can by doing path seva etc what ever came in my mind for her ... i do ardas for her every day ... now she is like i want to kill my self etc ... i need sangats help if everyone who is reading this can take few minutes out and do ardas for her chardikalla ... that would be very much helpfull ...

Thank you

Tell her to take some time off especially on weekends and go for apple picking, hiking, play tennis or anything she likes to do. Sometimes, we do get burned out and things just keep getting worse, if we dont stop in between and recharge our brains/bodies. She may be bombarded with too much on her hand right now, but see if she could fit in one class per week for yoga/meditation kind of exercises. or if not, go for jogging 2-3 times a week. Or just everyday, go for a walk towards even when its little cold too to feel just relaxed. You know what else sometimes helps me is just washing my face with cold water and throwing some cold water in my eyes too and then comb my hair. I know it sounds too simple to do. But sometimes these are the simple things we need to do to keep going.

Her feeling like broken faith is temporary. it will come back once she does good job on her exams.

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Have you consider telling her parents about this or getting help from another of your common friends.

Is there some deeper issue at hand which causes her to fall into this depressive state again and again? If so, then that is where you should start. Help her deal with it by talking to her about it casually if you haven't already.

Begin by Helping her Help herself first. Don't let her self-victimize herself, show her that there are people in worse situation than her. Tell her about the life of our Guru's, tell her about your personal experience, tell her that you will be there for her. If she is willing help her get into counseling, it can be of great help.

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actually she had depression problems in the past to she had even physiatrist for that last year ... she is not trying to listen ... i have suggested her many things she is not following anything ... and thats why i m here she is not going to anything good to herself i m sure about this ... i think only ardas of sangat can take her out now guru sahib should hold the hand of their daughter and take her out of this mental problem ... else they may loose one gud sikh ...

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tell her to take it as a challenge from Waheguru...she mite have been such a great sikh that Waheguru tested her but she failed the test :)

and like posted above...its only temporary :)

ill do my part with Ardas :D

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Wahegur Ji Ki Fateh :D

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actually she had depression problems in the past to she had even physiatrist for that last year ... she is not trying to listen ... i have suggested her many things she is not following anything ... and thats why i m here she is not going to anything good to herself i m sure about this ... i think only ardas of sangat can take her out now guru sahib should hold the hand of their daughter and take her out of this mental problem ...

To what you have wrote about her, I say she has given up on life. Which can occur due to failing in many task. Every task she probably attempted turned out not in her favor. And even the one's that did probably came back around and made her feel like a failure even more. A person that is depressed sometimes seeks for situations where she will fail again. It turn into a cycle for them. They get this mental block saying I am a failure and that's what I'm good at. So they try to achieve this failure over and over. Sounds horrible, I know, but it happens.

A solution would be to change the envirnoment she lives in. Because this is conributing alot to her depression. Go visit a place where she has never been. Make sure it's filled with alot of people and it's all lit up. Taking her to an empty place would only make her feel more depressed. And if she is unwilling to go anywhere then show her a video of a place that is full of life and harmony(Harmindar Sahib). You got to make her realize there is more to life than what she is just living in. She's in her box and believes there is nothing else, but that box full of depression and failure.

Another thing that will change her mind set is playing kirtan that she or you really like. There are countless shabads. And if her room is a mess, just clean it up yourself or tell her friends to do it. This will show in action that someone cares for her welfare, sometimes words don't get across as easily.

Whatever way you do it, just make her realize there is more to life than her box. Open up that box to countless possibilities and opportunities.

Wish you all the best and will do Ardas

Chardikala

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If you have a lot of negative/unpleasant experiences in life, then your personality becomes negative. My own brother is highly negative due to his negative experiences and sadly there is nothing I can do about it. Believe me, I have tried. But instead of him starting to become positive, I started becoming negative instead :sad:

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actually she had depression problems in the past to she had even physiatrist for that last year ... she is not trying to listen ... i have suggested her many things she is not following anything ... and thats why i m here she is not going to anything good to herself i m sure about this ... i think only ardas of sangat can take her out now guru sahib should hold the hand of their daughter and take her out of this mental problem ... else they may loose one gud sikh ...

Do you know what the exact problem is with her? Perhaps someone here has gone through a similar situation and can help you help her deal with it.

Does her family know? If not then, you should definitely talk to them if its becoming this serious.

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Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz

is she feeling a sense of lonliness in her life? maybe she needs to get married? taht can change a lot trust me.. if not, then do encourage her and continue to giver her emotional support, she shud also go to gurdwara everyday and do seva there, that will bring peace to her trust me, take my word for it..

and also she NEEDS to go to a psychiatrist, understand this, she needs to eat those meds, a lot of times its a chemical imbalance some of us have that brings us into deep depression and only meds can cure that, so please please please urge her family and ensure she sees a psychiatrist.. also tell her self not to cut herself or anything cus that wont cure anything and tell her ifshe kills herself she will go to hell, u cannot throw this precious life away, there is a lot to life, jsut sometimes we all dont see it, including myself, but plz do contiune to help her emotionally and do get her to eat meds from a proper psyhciatrist ( not some pindoo dude who gives out meds- idk i heard that kind fo stuff happens in india?? ) but take her to some proper person, i know india has smart physicians who can help

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will do ardas.

if she has told you that she is suicidal ask her to be more specific in what she means by that. To assess her risk find out if she has a specific plan, how, when, where. The more specific the plan the greater the risk. This is not to say that no plan and other signs mean she is safe. Do not assure her confidentiality. At some point you may need to get others involved.

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If you have a lot of negative/unpleasant experiences in life, then your personality becomes negative. My own brother is highly negative due to his negative experiences and sadly there is nothing I can do about it. Believe me, I have tried. But instead of him starting to become positive, I started becoming negative instead :sad:

sadly we're on the same boat......

Anyway, Like others have suggested, TALK to her. Make sure her parents know about this situation. Stay with her at all times, if it's getting serious. Make sure you keep her company, just keep helping bahji. don't give up on her.

Another thing is (if it gets too serious) make sure she's not talking to too many people, with negative thoughts, views etc. I guess your going to have to cut some of your own time to help this soul. But keep her safe, and try not to isolate her at the same time. Get her trust. And if she has no one to talk to, then talk to her yourself......

Vaheguru jeeo

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thanks singho for ur suggestions and thanks to singh who emailed me ... thanks for ur ardas ... bahut bahut dhanwad ... may guru sahib bless you in so much chardikalla that u can always do the ardas for chardikalla of others ...

i have left everything on kalgiyan walle pita ...and i have decided not to follow any plans just ardas and listen to her give her some time everyday ...

thanks singh from my heart for doing ardas for her

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