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jassa

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jassa Grand Master

jassa

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Oki i have a friend she is running through troubles like depression she had very much faith in god but its broken now ... she had applied for an addmission in some school last month and did ardas to guru ji she should get admission only if it would be good ... and she got admission she was very much happy ... but when she reached there people around she is like in bad mental state again ... her faith is broken ... she is not willing to go to gurdwara or do path any more all the time she is crying and having loads of tension on her head ... i have tried to help her as much as i can by doing path seva etc what ever came in my mind for her ... i do ardas for her every day ... now she is like i want to kill my self etc ... i need sangats help if everyone who is reading this can take few minutes out and do ardas for her chardikalla ... that would be very much helpfull ...

Thank you

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AmarjitKaur Veteran

AmarjitKaur

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Oki i have a friend she is running through troubles like depression she had very much faith in god but its broken now ... she had applied for an addmission in some school last month and did ardas to guru ji she should get admission only if it would be good ... and she got admission she was very much happy ... but when she reached there people around she is like in bad mental state again ... her faith is broken ... she is not willing to go to gurdwara or do path any more all the time she is crying and having loads of tension on her head ... i have tried to help her as much as i can by doing path seva etc what ever came in my mind for her ... i do ardas for her every day ... now she is like i want to kill my self etc ... i need sangats help if everyone who is reading this can take few minutes out and do ardas for her chardikalla ... that would be very much helpfull ...

Thank you

Tell her to take some time off especially on weekends and go for apple picking, hiking, play tennis or anything she likes to do. Sometimes, we do get burned out and things just keep getting worse, if we dont stop in between and recharge our brains/bodies. She may be bombarded with too much on her hand right now, but see if she could fit in one class per week for yoga/meditation kind of exercises. or if not, go for jogging 2-3 times a week. Or just everyday, go for a walk towards even when its little cold too to feel just relaxed. You know what else sometimes helps me is just washing my face with cold water and throwing some cold water in my eyes too and then comb my hair. I know it sounds too simple to do. But sometimes these are the simple things we need to do to keep going.

Her feeling like broken faith is temporary. it will come back once she does good job on her exams.

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Pheena Grand Master

Pheena

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Have you consider telling her parents about this or getting help from another of your common friends.

Is there some deeper issue at hand which causes her to fall into this depressive state again and again? If so, then that is where you should start. Help her deal with it by talking to her about it casually if you haven't already.

Begin by Helping her Help herself first. Don't let her self-victimize herself, show her that there are people in worse situation than her. Tell her about the life of our Guru's, tell her about your personal experience, tell her that you will be there for her. If she is willing help her get into counseling, it can be of great help.

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jassa Grand Master

jassa

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actually she had depression problems in the past to she had even physiatrist for that last year ... she is not trying to listen ... i have suggested her many things she is not following anything ... and thats why i m here she is not going to anything good to herself i m sure about this ... i think only ardas of sangat can take her out now guru sahib should hold the hand of their daughter and take her out of this mental problem ... else they may loose one gud sikh ...

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Only five Grand Master

Only five

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actually she had depression problems in the past to she had even physiatrist for that last year ... she is not trying to listen ... i have suggested her many things she is not following anything ... and thats why i m here she is not going to anything good to herself i m sure about this ... i think only ardas of sangat can take her out now guru sahib should hold the hand of their daughter and take her out of this mental problem ...

To what you have wrote about her, I say she has given up on life. Which can occur due to failing in many task. Every task she probably attempted turned out not in her favor. And even the one's that did probably came back around and made her feel like a failure even more. A person that is depressed sometimes seeks for situations where she will fail again. It turn into a cycle for them. They get this mental block saying I am a failure and that's what I'm good at. So they try to achieve this failure over and over. Sounds horrible, I know, but it happens.

A solution would be to change the envirnoment she lives in. Because this is conributing alot to her depression. Go visit a place where she has never been. Make sure it's filled with alot of people and it's all lit up. Taking her to an empty place would only make her feel more depressed. And if she is unwilling to go anywhere then show her a video of a place that is full of life and harmony(Harmindar Sahib). You got to make her realize there is more to life than what she is just living in. She's in her box and believes there is nothing else, but that box full of depression and failure.

Another thing that will change her mind set is playing kirtan that she or you really like. There are countless shabads. And if her room is a mess, just clean it up yourself or tell her friends to do it. This will show in action that someone cares for her welfare, sometimes words don't get across as easily.

Whatever way you do it, just make her realize there is more to life than her box. Open up that box to countless possibilities and opportunities.

Wish you all the best and will do Ardas

Chardikala

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Papi Grand Master

Papi

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If you have a lot of negative/unpleasant experiences in life, then your personality becomes negative. My own brother is highly negative due to his negative experiences and sadly there is nothing I can do about it. Believe me, I have tried. But instead of him starting to become positive, I started becoming negative instead :sad:

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Pheena Grand Master

Pheena

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actually she had depression problems in the past to she had even physiatrist for that last year ... she is not trying to listen ... i have suggested her many things she is not following anything ... and thats why i m here she is not going to anything good to herself i m sure about this ... i think only ardas of sangat can take her out now guru sahib should hold the hand of their daughter and take her out of this mental problem ... else they may loose one gud sikh ...

Do you know what the exact problem is with her? Perhaps someone here has gone through a similar situation and can help you help her deal with it.

Does her family know? If not then, you should definitely talk to them if its becoming this serious.

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