Finding Someone To Marry

[superduper]

I've had zero luck so far and now my parents are letting me to go to India and find someone from there. (I am from London) I am somewhat dubious about going to india and getting married because my parents don't know many people there and I believe my parents' idea is to advertise in a newspaper. So we would have no idea of what the girl or the family will be like, it will just be based on how they present themselves.

Anyone know how best to go about finding a suitable partner in india. My parents don't know many people there so the traditional family route isn't really open to us.

[West London Singh]

I got married in Punjab, Superduper brother. To be honest, I'd be very weary of the 'classified ad' route. Generally, the girls in Punjab these days are alot more 'western' than Punjabi girls here in the UK. You have to be very carefull. I saw several girls introduced to us by relatives. All these girls were from villages within the same doaba area as us...so whenever I thought one of them was potentially ok I would do a bit of detective work on them. In the villages of Punjab the local drivers (taxi) of each village know everything about who's up to what in their village. So I would make a point of asking about that particular girl and her family. Twice, after initially agreeing to marry (very pretty) girls, I cancelled after I got a 'report' back as to what these girls are like.

I am now currently married and the 'report' I got back for my wife was so good I married her. Seriously geezer, some (not all) girls in Punjab are evil and wicked in a way you would never imagine a Punjabi girl here could be. You have to be very carefull.

I hate to say this, but the thing about Punjab, and India in general, is that it is moving so fast that it has a vacuum of morals these days. It has become so acceptable for girls there to keep boyfriends and that in itself is not a bad thing, but the trouble is many girls and boys there are not mature enough to deal with responsibly and morally. Girls in india don't just keep one boyfriend....they keep several on the go at the same time...and are intimate with all of them. The fact is, they are ammoral. Similar to the attitudes in council estates here and trailer parks in North America, it has become the norm to be very sexually active.

Good luck.

[AmarjitKaur]

I got married in Punjab, Superduper brother. To be honest, I'd be very weary of the 'classified ad' route. Generally, the girls in Punjab these days are alot more 'western' than Punjabi girls here in the UK. You have to be very carefull. I saw several girls introduced to us by relatives. All these girls were from villages within the same doaba area as us...so whenever I thought one of them was potentially ok I would do a bit of detective work on them. In the villages of Punjab the local drivers (taxi) of each village know everything about who's up to what in their village. So I would make a point of asking about that particular girl and her family. Twice, after initially agreeing to marry (very pretty) girls, I cancelled after I got a 'report' back as to what these girls are like.

I am now currently married and the 'report' I got back for my wife was so good I married her. Seriously geezer, some (not all) girls in Punjab are evil and wicked in a way you would never imagine a Punjabi girl here could be. You have to be very carefull.

I hate to say this, but the thing about Punjab, and India in general, is that it is moving so fast that it has a vacuum of morals these days. It has become so acceptable for girls there to keep boyfriends and that in itself is not a bad thing, but the trouble is many girls and boys there are not mature enough to deal with responsibly and morally. Girls in india don't just keep one boyfriend....they keep several on the go at the same time...and are intimate with all of them. The fact is, they are ammoral. Similar to the attitudes in council estates here and trailer parks in North America, it has become the norm to be very sexually active.

Good luck.

Whatever you are writing is very hurtening to know. I am sorry to hear about the moral of girls (I am sure boys even worse) falling down so much. But when you are writing above, every boy out there, when they put girls so down (not that I am saying you are putting them down without any facts behind), please apne gireban vich vee jhak ke dekho. If 80% of the girls are not having high moral character, 90% of the boys are not either.

I really don't like the boys who themselves slept around with 10 girls and then go to india and try to get the purest girl out there. Ever thought, why you deserve the purest girl? If you slept with 10 girls, you deserve a girl who atleast slept with 5 boys.

Ever thought, that if a girl slept with 5, then those 5 boys are now not pure either. And I am sure, they are going to look for the purest girl too. That really ticks me off about boys. Boys, ever thought, if you stop fooling around with girls and not had intimate relationship with every girl you came in contact with, then those many girls would be virgin now, Thank you to you.

BTW, above is not aimed at the poster above as I quoted, but aimed at every boy out there who thinks its ok for them to fool around and still look for virgin/untouchable/innocent/naive/bholi bhali Kuri when time comes to marry. Think that you have sisters too and you are going to have daughters one day as well. That sister and daughter is going to end up in the same category as well, if boys like you (again not aimed at above poster) stop fooling around with other people's sisters, daughters, one day your own sisters/daughters would be having high moral character to marry a decent boy as well.

Again, not trying to offend/attack a single boy out there, but average boys. BTW, you won't be offended anyways, if you are having high moral character yourlself. But if you are offended, may be there is something to work on or be willing to marry little imperfect girl as you are yourself imperfect too.

[Only five]

I got married in Punjab, Superduper brother. To be honest, I'd be very weary of the 'classified ad' route. Generally, the girls in Punjab these days are alot more 'western' than Punjabi girls here in the UK. You have to be very carefull. I saw several girls introduced to us by relatives. All these girls were from villages within the same doaba area as us...so whenever I thought one of them was potentially ok I would do a bit of detective work on them. In the villages of Punjab the local drivers (taxi) of each village know everything about who's up to what in their village. So I would make a point of asking about that particular girl and her family. Twice, after initially agreeing to marry (very pretty) girls, I cancelled after I got a 'report' back as to what these girls are like.

I am now currently married and the 'report' I got back for my wife was so good I married her. Seriously geezer, some (not all) girls in Punjab are evil and wicked in a way you would never imagine a Punjabi girl here could be. You have to be very carefull.

I hate to say this, but the thing about Punjab, and India in general, is that it is moving so fast that it has a vacuum of morals these days. It has become so acceptable for girls there to keep boyfriends and that in itself is not a bad thing, but the trouble is many girls and boys there are not mature enough to deal with responsibly and morally. Girls in india don't just keep one boyfriend....they keep several on the go at the same time...and are intimate with all of them. The fact is, they are ammoral. Similar to the attitudes in council estates here and trailer parks in North America, it has become the norm to be very sexually active.

Good luck.

Whatever you are writing is very hurtening to know. I am sorry to hear about the moral of girls (I am sure boys even worse) falling down so much. But when you are writing above, every boy out there, when they put girls so down (not that I am saying you are putting them down without any facts behind), please apne gireban vich vee jhak ke dekho. If 80% of the girls are not having high moral character, 90% of the boys are not either.

I really don't like the boys who themselves slept around with 10 girls and then go to india and try to get the purest girl out there. Ever thought, why you deserve the purest girl? If you slept with 10 girls, you deserve a girl who atleast slept with 5 boys.

Ever thought, that if a girl slept with 5, then those 5 boys are now not pure either. And I am sure, they are going to look for the purest girl too. That really ticks me off about boys. Boys, ever thought, if you stop fooling around with girls and not had intimate relationship with every girl you came in contact with, then those many girls would be virgin now, Thank you to you.

BTW, above is not aimed at the poster above as I quoted, but aimed at every boy out there who thinks its ok for them to fool around and still look for virgin/untouchable/innocent/naive/bholi bhali Kuri when time comes to marry. Think that you have sisters too and you are going to have daughters one day as well. That sister and daughter is going to end up in the same category as well, if boys like you (again not aimed at above poster) stop fooling around with other people's sisters, daughters, one day your own sisters/daughters would be having high moral character to marry a decent boy as well.

Again, not trying to offend/attack a single boy out there, but average boys. BTW, you won't be offended anyways, if you are having high moral character yourlself. But if you are offended, may be there is something to work on or be willing to marry little imperfect girl as you are yourself imperfect too.

You made a great point. One thing I would like to add is, why guys choose to marry the girl that never slepted around. First, if they marry a girl that did then others laugh at him. So it's a pride thing. And more important than anything. And the girls are going to be digusted by this, but just speaking the true. They marry the girl that never slepted around because these girls are the ones that will clean up after them. Make them food when they want, the guy can go out whenever they like and the wife stays home looks after the kids. They can treat her like dirt and get away with it. They can sleep around and still get away with it. And who did they learn this off. You guessed it, their own dads. If they end up marrying these girls that sleep around and are liberal they would have these guys whipped. These liberal girls don't hold their tongue to speak their opinion. They want equal rights and if that means both of them are having affair then so be it. The guys are scared of these girls. These girls won't take there cr*p from them. Clean the bathroom, do the laundry, clean the yard, wash the dishes, cook dinner. This is hell for these guys that sleep around and if they do any of these things, like clean the bathroom they have lost their manhood. Unless they get what they want afterwards. They want to treat the girl like a object and liberal women take a stand, which scares these poor excuse for human being. And Kaurs won't even think of marrying them due to there habits.

One choice left for these guys. The girl from India or another country that will treat them like their mother did. Spoon fed them till they were 5 and when they want something just take it without caring about what their mom says.

In other words they wanna marry their mom

[TuhiNirankar]

People use to think that girls from punjab all innocent cuz their parents are strict, but what happens is that the more strict your parents are the more that it makes them want to rebel so like girls go to "collge" skip classes go watch movies with guys, their QUITE modern these days and i thnik that becuz SEX is such a taboo type subject that is why the youth there cant control their crazy hormones, thus they sleep around in their own pind,

yes thats rite ppl sleep with their own pindus and india has hotel rooms so the guys there get away with everything,

(everyone has cellphones these days so its pretty easy to hook up with sumone in india i guess :huh: )

im talking bout average punjabis,

the sad thing is we Cant even judge sumone to have a good moral Character if their AMritdhari,

im talking bout ppl who arent married, but these dayz ppl in india who are married with kids even sleep around with the pinds SARPanch

nastyness :sad:

i just had to share the shocking things iv heard first hand bout punjab these days

:sad:

[apnepart2]

I got married in Punjab, Superduper brother. To be honest, I'd be very weary of the 'classified ad' route. Generally, the girls in Punjab these days are alot more 'western' than Punjabi girls here in the UK. You have to be very carefull. I saw several girls introduced to us by relatives. All these girls were from villages within the same doaba area as us...so whenever I thought one of them was potentially ok I would do a bit of detective work on them. In the villages of Punjab the local drivers (taxi) of each village know everything about who's up to what in their village. So I would make a point of asking about that particular girl and her family. Twice, after initially agreeing to marry (very pretty) girls, I cancelled after I got a 'report' back as to what these girls are like.

I am now currently married and the 'report' I got back for my wife was so good I married her. Seriously geezer, some (not all) girls in Punjab are evil and wicked in a way you would never imagine a Punjabi girl here could be. You have to be very carefull.

I hate to say this, but the thing about Punjab, and India in general, is that it is moving so fast that it has a vacuum of morals these days. It has become so acceptable for girls there to keep boyfriends and that in itself is not a bad thing, but the trouble is many girls and boys there are not mature enough to deal with responsibly and morally. Girls in india don't just keep one boyfriend....they keep several on the go at the same time...and are intimate with all of them. The fact is, they are ammoral. Similar to the attitudes in council estates here and trailer parks in North America, it has become the norm to be very sexually active.

Good luck.

that actually made me laugh! you would never know actually. if your wife was smart she could have easily escaped eyes of people and/ or might have got virginity restoration operation!

[West London Singh]

the sad thing is we Cant even judge sumone to have a good moral Character if their AMritdhari,

My god, unfortunelately that is so true. Not talking about the Amritdhari Sikhs here in the west, because generally in our western countries those who shak amrit do so out of immense pyar for guru ji. In Punjab however, many of the amritdhari's have amongst the lowest of morals in society....which is indicative of the true state of Punjab these days.

Let me give you an example : 6 weeks ago there was an Akhand Path at a Gurdwara in Southampton. On the Saturday evening, while most of the women were preparing food for the next day in the kitchen, the gyani noticed that for the third time in as many weeks someone had left a a bag upstairs next to Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji. That bag contained, among other things, a bag of nails and a broken china plate. The object of this was to put an evil spell on guru ji. Mostly this is done when someone wants to have a baby or have a baby boy or something.

The sangat were naturally outraged. After reviewing the camera tapes of the diwan hall, it was found that the culprit was a middle aged amritdhari woman, on a family visitors visa from India. She was to be found at the gurdwara everyday helping out with the langar....but took time out to go upstairs and insult our guru because her daughter can't have a baby.

Apparently this type of thing has been happening alot in Gurdwaras all over the UK lately.

It just goes to show the moral mentality of many in the state of Punjab these days.

[TuhiNirankar]

<_< My own relative who is a POPULAR Dhaddhi was married with 3 kids but went to india and had an affair with sum poor girl and then got remarried to a new young colllege girl :o

but on the outside he looks like hes guru ka sikh and if hes a dhaddhi he knows alot of history but if he does not have a good character he will not be honored in the afterlife, anyone who does such immoral deeds will have to reap what they sow, the thing is maya is so great at making us fall into the illusions thiking we can get away with anything and that God cant see me behind closed doors,\

but hes sarab kala samrath hes everywhere, so you can only be true to yourself if your true to your Guru , thats the true love relationship,

pUj lgY pIru AwKIAY sBu imlY sMswru ]

pooj lagai peer aakheeai sabh milai sa(n)saar ||

You may be worshipped and adored as a Pir (a spiritual teacher); you may be welcomed by all the world;

nwau sdwey Awpxw hovY isDu sumwru ]

naao sadhaaeae aapanaa hovai sidhh sumaar ||

you may adopt a lofty name, and be known to have supernatural spiritual powers

jw piq lyKY nw pvY sBw pUj KuAwru ]2]

jaa path laekhai naa pavai sabhaa pooj khuaar ||2||

-even so, if you are not accepted in the Court of the Lord, then all this adoration is false. ||2||

For the POster,

I guess you should do a background check about potential girls you want to marry but try to use your intuition dont just look at her beauty, what vibes do u get off from her aura? what can u feel when you look in her eyes?

Guru ji will give u helpful hints thru your intuition to if sshe is a good choice or bad,

dont just look at beauty and how mucch education she has,

it all ends at the word SANJOG

youll hear your parents say it, whereever its ment to happen itll happen,

AND ApnePArt2 --->>> i dont think you should bring the doubt in the mind of West london Singh especially bout his wife ! that aint cool, <_<

You cant even clearly say that all western sikhs are Good, becuz yes altho we take amrit out of pyar ppl do fall morally and spiritually,

with the western influence we can easily fall into dating and starting relationships be4 marriage sumtimes the relationship lasts other times ppl make a mess thats hard to clean up,

ooooooooooooooooooooh so much kilara

[lotaya]

By Mahraj kirpa i got married in India. I just thought girls from uk were not my cup of tea (the ones i met anyway). I met some in India but just did not feel right. My relatives found my wife for me, we met a couple of times. It just felt so right.

The is good and bad in every aspect of life .... Just chill do ardass to maharaj and let mahraj take care of you affairs.

dhan dhan Maharaj Guru Granth Sahib Ji

[AmarjitKaur]

all the unmarried guys and gals out there. Its in best interest of everybody to stay as pure as possible until you get babaji's blessed relationship (I mean proper anand karaj, in guruji's presence). That way, we will have more and more pure (phsically and mentally) souls to meet each other and get married.

The first step starts from you. Make a resolution that you won't fall into the chakkarview of Kaam. Only then you are eligible to find a pure spouse for yourself. But if you can't keep control on this vice, don't go hunting for untouched spouse for yourself either. YOu don't deserve one.