Intercaste Marriage Problem Of Amridhari Gursikhs

[Guest sukhmani]

This likely won't be a popular post.

All the folks saying that caste should not be a problem are correct, at least as far as the theoretical side is concerned. However, in reality, more often than not, caste is the first thing parents look for. Same thing has happened in my family as well.

Firstly, I fail to understand what these amritdhari gursikhs are doing 'falling in love for 3 years' in the first place. Let's assume that they did not know that their parents will be so stern with the caste issue. Even then, 25 or so years of love and support the parents have given both kids can not be thrown down the drain for a mere 3 year relationship. On the other hand if they knew that the parents will be stern on the caste issue, then it is their and only their fault for starting this relationship in the first place.

For a few weeks I hated my parents for supporting this caste issue myself. But I came to an understanding that while I was correct in saying that caste should not be an issue, they were correct in making it a priority as well. No one is at fault here, the only difference is that I was looking at the issue from a theoretical perspective and my parents look at the issue from a realist perspective.

This caste disease has plagued the Sikh nation for far too long, I optimistically hope that it can be eradicated to a large extend with the next generation or two, at least in the western countries. I don't see it going away anytime soon in India however.

[Guest Panth da Dass]

Family elders should always be consulted on these matters due to the simple fact that when you marry someone it is just not you who is going to be impacted by your decision the person you marry will be meeting and socializing with all family if the family is not giving the blessing then it should be respected as the tension down the road will have a negative impact on both families

As amrtidhari they have given into lust and should have first consulted their families community and elders before undertaking this big step

People who are focused on lust and love are not ready to be amritdhari and should have first controlled their instincts before taking such a step as amrit which if they had practices correctly they wouldnt have had time for lust or love of anyone but the guru

Does anyone know of any brahamgiani who fell to lust and went on to become a gursikh we should adhere to become exactly

Its when you start mixing the values of the none initiated sikhs into gursikhi that you lose all focus on the ultimate goal of Sikhi to get rid of all demons and become one with god

Personally I think this couple is too weak to become gursikh because if they are gursikh and can fall into lust whats to say they wont do it again with someone else and a gursikh that cant be loyal to his family and household can never be loyal to their panth and I think these kinds of people made the wrong choice in becoming gursikh.

[Guest life]

This likely won't be a popular post.

All the folks saying that caste should not be a problem are correct, at least as far as the theoretical side is concerned. However, in reality, more often than not, caste is the first thing parents look for. Same thing has happened in my family as well.

Firstly, I fail to understand what these amritdhari gursikhs are doing 'falling in love for 3 years' in the first place. Let's assume that they did not know that their parents will be so stern with the caste issue. Even then, 25 or so years of love and support the parents have given both kids can not be thrown down the drain for a mere 3 year relationship. On the other hand if they knew that the parents will be stern on the caste issue, then it is their and only their fault for starting this relationship in the first place.

For a few weeks I hated my parents for supporting this caste issue myself. But I came to an understanding that while I was correct in saying that caste should not be an issue, they were correct in making it a priority as well. No one is at fault here, the only difference is that I was looking at the issue from a theoretical perspective and my parents look at the issue from a realist perspective.

This caste disease has plagued the Sikh nation for far too long, I optimistically hope that it can be eradicated to a large extend with the next generation or two, at least in the western countries. I don't see it going away anytime soon in India however.

If parents want to make caste an issue that is their problem. They do not listen to Guru Ji when he says No Hindu no Muslim. A message confirming the falsity of castes and races cannot be clearer than our most reverred Satguru Nanak Dev Jis True words.

People claim to walk in line with Gurbani and Gurmat but if one cannot accept this one simple message of Truth, how can one ever look beyond the many images to see that He Truly has no image, and is in all- to see the world as one and humanity as brothers and sisters and to live in Nirvair?

[Guest Blessed]

First of all, who wrote being in relation for 3 years is sign of lust, less than a sham there is no feeling for you.

the other on who wrote, he find the casteism reality, let me tell you then, this is what you are letting to happen. If you had stood in front of your parents and helped them to realise that it is nothing more than a illusion, then there will be new reality for society and young people, who are seeking help here.

Atleast, let them demolish the wall of castes through marriages and building love.

the sadness is, people like you are not willing to change and let yourself and your children suffer is unrealistic pain.

they are not the one who created the problem by liking each other wishing to marry to their own choice. The problem is with this nivi soch. If they are requesting their parents to give them their blessings, what wrong they are asking. 

Your behaviour is forcing them to commit suicides, not letting them grow, increasing household crimes, live in fake relations without love and care, taking them away from their parents.

the world has changed, centuries has been changed, not any young person is able to ignore their surrounding. What you think sikh people are giving birth to saints here so that they should be separated from social involvements and relation.

Show some mercy towards youth, console them, help them, help your society to give up on caste and other social discriminations. 

 

[Koi 414]

I appreciate this is an old post, but since it's reared it's head again...

Benti to all Sikh, this is not just an Amritdhari issue, this is a Sikh issue. Read up and learn about caste, where it comes from, who started it and why (for those who are interested, read Manu Simriti). I bet that 99.9% of Jatts can't even tell you what the word "Jatt" actually means (and I'd welcome the sangat to give it a go)! So anyone having a problem with caste, in my opinion, can bugger of.

Jo Amrit Ko Neer Kahe, Sikh Ki Poochhe Jaat.

Kahe Gobind Singh Nand Lal Ji, So Sikh Jampur Jaat.

Rehatnama Bhai Nand Lal Ji.

If someone refers to Amrit as just water, or someone asks the caste of a Sikh. Guru Dasve Paatshaah says to Bhai Nand Lal Ji, that Sikh goes to hell.

So those who want to believe in caste, you can decide where you want to go. If after everything you still want to believe in caste, then, in the nicest way possible, go to hell.

I understand the previous generation believed in it. Some of those are probably lost causes. However, please ensure that you or future generations don't entertain this crap.

Now, on to the subject of Amritdhari love marriage. There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing your own partner (as long as you stay within the maryada of  your Guru). People who say it's against our culture are talking nonsense. The concept of a bride choosing her groom is actually very much enshrined in our Hindustani traditions going back thousands of years (sita and draupati swayamver). In fact, the word 'swayamver' literally means 'self chosen husband'. So the concept of choosing one's parter is very much there. In my opinion, the only real difference between arranged and love marriage is who finds the potential partner. That's all...

 

[dallysingh101 1,833]

On 4/29/2011 at 3:32 PM, OhTwadi said:

But I came to an understanding that while I was correct in saying that caste should not be an issue, they were correct in making it a priority as well.

That just sounds mental. 

[Guest Pinhead]

On 2/23/2011 at 4:44 AM, SukhmaniKhalsa said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh,

I want to tell the problem that my friends are facing in their marriages and also seek your opinion and

advice what they have to do.

My friends a boy and girl are amritdhari, well educated and well earning hand gursikhs and they have in love relation from 3 years, and now they decide to spend their life together.The main problem is the castism. Girl is from jatt sikh family and boy is from ramgarhia family. Both families are amridhari families.

When girl talk to their parents that she has chosen a amritdhari boy as her life partner, they didnt listen to her and say clear No to his choice. They even dont like to meet the

boy for a minute. They said her k oh usdi pasand nu na ta dekhna chaunde han te na koi gall sun na chaunde han, Kuri ne apne parents agge guru granth sahib, sikh history te amrit de

kafi aspects rakh k samjaya but all in vein. Oh ehi keh rhey han k how dare u to choose her life partner herself. Oh usdi pasand nu mil k usde vichar v nahi jan na chaunde.

Both ask me what to do in this situation if everything is according to gursikhi then why their parents dont ready to accept them. Girl has great respect for her parents and also for her spiritual

parents dasam pita Guru gobind singh , mata sahib kaur and his love a amritdhari gursikh boy. Oh ehna tina vicho kisse nu v chad nahi sakdi.

Parents saying no to her love, oh ohna da diregard nahi karna chaundi.

As a amritdhari girl, she also dont want to disregard his spiritual parents as they said "Manas ki jaat sabbe ekke pehchanbo".

Usde parents keh rhey han k usdi galti eh hai k usne app apna life partner kyu chuneya, assi loka nu ki kahange.

I dont have any answer to her parents thoughts, k je ik amritdhari gursikh nu ohna di kuri ne app labh leya hai ta ohna di izzat mitti ch mil jani hai.

Eh soch ohna de dimag ch ghar kar gyi hai jis karke guru granth sahib te amrit di koi gall ohna di samj ch nahi aa rhi.

Ho sakda oh thik hon par guru granth sahib de according ik sache gursikh da sath milan nall kisse di izat mitti ch nahi mildi.

Suggest karo k iss tarah di situation ch ik gursikh vaste ki karna chaida hai, ja ta oh amritdhari ladke nallo reltion khatam kar deve kyuki usde parents nahi man de, ja amritdhari hon

karke sirf guru di gall mann k parents de against jave. Usde parents nu kiss tarha mould kita ja sakda hai te je ohna di soch phir v nahi badaldi ta ladki vaste ki decision laina sahi hai.

If you have some advices for them then please reply.

Why on earth does he want to marry a...

 

Mod comment - deleted.