Parshaad Di Seva - Who Is Right?

[Astral]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh.

OK so today I was giving out parshaad, and when I do it I kinda let it drop into there hands (not to far above), since I don't like to touch people's hands and carry there juthe, as I give it out.

Anyway as I'm giving, in the middle of the darbaar sahib and this comittee member "mona" starts complaining to me, saying you shouldn't drop parhsaad like that, I explained to him very kindly (and in a low voice, to not draw everyone in) about why I don't want to carry juthe and that's why I kinda let it fall into there hands, and he starts laughing IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DARBAR SAHIB (speaking in his full-tone voice) saying "I've been going to gurudwara for 40 years, I know" & starts laughing.

Then I say to him, well every gurudwara I've been to, all the gursikhs avoid touching other people's hands, that's what I've noticed anyway, it makes sense so i try and do it.

But it just annoys me, how in the middle of the darbar sahib just because he's part of the comittee, he think's he right, a "mona" starts saying I'm doing it wrong a "Dumala wala Singh", and when I explain to him about juthe, he says clearly "I DON'T CARE, this is how your supposed to do it I know I've been going for so many more years to Gurudwara than you, forget about the others", and starts laughing. (You hear me right, he said "forget about the others" referring to Gursikhs)

I kept my self cool, and then carried on giving parshaad out. I was going to say "You been coming here 40 years, do you even understand 1 thing that is said in the Guru granth sahib, before even attempting to question me", but I didn't.

Sorry I just had to tell someone, and vent my feelings. Who is right then, in the sense of giving out parshaad??

P.s. And at the end, as I was eating langar on the floor, he walked past me, I looked up at him and gave him a smile to try and be the better person "so he wouldn't hold a grudge " and he just turned his face away.

P.s. not that it matters, but I'm 18, and he's probably in his "late 40's" / 50's

[VanHelsingh]

You should have just said "Hanji Uncle Ji. Whatever you say", and just continued doing the seva. Mona or not, he was older than you. You should've just let him feel good about himself and you should have taken the higher ground. You know how these jokers like to impose themselves on the younger generation.

Also, you seem to be awfully proud of your status as a Gursikh. Where's the humility? As much as you are correct about having chosen the correct path years before uncle ji, it's not becoming of a Sikh to have that kind of pride.

[Bundha]

Astral, I am with you bhaji. You did correct sewa and what you were doing was correct, please do not change.

Committee members think they own the gurdwara but actually it belongs to Guru Nanak Dev Ji. their ego kicks in.

When he said he had been going to gurdwara for 40 years you shoule have asked him "40 years but it has had no effect on you at all, you are still a mona!" But I suppose that would have caused an argument.

these people are full of ego, keep your path towards Guru and carry on, you will always meet people liek this.

Keep in chardi kala.

[Astral]

You should have just said "Hanji Uncle Ji. Whatever you say", and just continued doing the seva. Mona or not, he was older than you. You should've just let him feel good about himself and you should have taken the higher ground. You know how these jokers like to impose themselves on the younger generation.

Also, you seem to be awfully proud of your status as a Gursikh. Where's the humility? As much as you are correct about having chosen the correct path years before uncle ji, it's not becoming of a Sikh to have that kind of pride.

I know, I over reacted a bit. But I tried to fix it at the end, by saying smiling at him & then saying "Goodbye" as I noticed he was leaving, to show there's nothing between us. Then he just turns his face the other way as I smile and before I even get a chance to speak, and walks of.

I don't mind about the incident of the complaint, it's his opinion, it's just he did this rant in completely the wrong place & time.. C'mon, if you want to complain to me, at least do it after, while I'm not busy.

But the question still remains? Should I be giving out parshaad how I am, or putting it into peoples hands?

[VanHelsingh]

But the question still remains? Should I be giving out parshaad how I am, or putting it into peoples hands?

Brother, in all my years of frequenting my local gurughar and having visited our gurughars in India, the sevadaars have always placed prashaad into my hands from a distance, i.e. your style. As long as it doesn't appear like the sevadaar is dropping the prashaad into hands from a great height, I don't think anyone can really criticise you. I wouldn't worry about it. Some people like to create a drama out of nothing.

[SantLUCIFER]

I know, I over reacted a bit. But I tried to fix it at the end, by saying smiling at him & then saying "Goodbye" as I noticed he was leaving, to show there's nothing between us. Then he just turns his face the other way as I smile and before I even get a chance to speak, and walks of.

I don't mind about the incident of the complaint, it's his opinion, it's just he did this rant in completely the wrong place & time.. C'mon, if you want to complain to me, at least do it after, while I'm not busy.

But the question still remains? Should I be giving out parshaad how I am, or putting it into peoples hands?

Khalsa Ji, as long as you're not slamming it into their hands the method is fine.

When he said 'I've been coming to the Gurdwars 40 years, should have said, well what a waste then, you're not even a keshdhari forty years on....' You can't befriend all people, some are egotisitcal, cretinous, they can't be turned around. You do the Seva and remain Chardi Kala. As said 'Jag Puma Sara Rus Jai, Mera Ruse Na Kalgian Wala' Let the world be upset with me, but let not my Guru Gobind SIngh Ji Mahraaj Sahaab! be uspet with me.:areyouhappy:

Fateh!

[Mehtab Singh]

During such scenarios, be nice and shameless at the same time. Smile and say "acha jee jroor", and then in front of him continue to do what you were exactly doing before. He comes again and says something, say "hanji hanji" and keep going. He comes for the third time, just look at him and giggle and he will know you are not going to listen :D

It works, trust me

[Singh559]

It's okay, everyone makes mistakes. If you want, maybe it may help to approach him next time you see him and say you're sorry.

[Kharkooartsy]

all i want to say is that its wrong to assume that you "dumalewala singh" is better than the mona next to you..

its not you with this problem lotta people have this problem including myself...

we need to stop looking down at people because of their physical appearance... because you never know who is how much closer to gurujee

yh he was wrong at yelling at you but sometimes people do wrong stufff without realizing dont let it bother you [

[SarabjeetS]

I had similar experiences .

When doing seva , some people forget the fact that you are just a sevadar , not their personal servant ... I hate it really !