Married A Girl From India

[Jonny101]

Mate, he basically just repeated everything I said 2 days earlier (see the post above his). Do you have selective vision ?

Sorry bro. It's just that Malwai made his point come across easier to read in point form as opposed to writing all the points in a single paragraph which tends to get a little inconvenient to read. But yeah, you and Malwai made the same points. I especially liked your point on the girls from the khoo as opposed to the pend as it is mostly accurate. But some cases it is not true. A relative of mine married a girl from the khoo, but his wife is one of the laziest women I have seen. She always tries to avoid doing work, a real Kamm-Chor. Later it was found out that although she lived in the khoo, her mother(a real shataan woman) made her 2 daughter inlaws do all the work around the house while she hardly made her daughter do any work. But my relative's wife is an exception to the girls from the khoo. Generally khoo girls are real hard working.

All the guys on this forum who plan to marry should take note and follow literally ALL the points made by West London Singh and Malwai because as West London Singh said, marrying the a girl in India can be the best thing or the worst thing in your life.

[Hazoor]

Something to keep in mind is the law of the land from which the 'NRI' is planning on taking his/her other half to. In the UK immigration law Now requires the spouse from abroad to have a basic level of understanding of English, and are required to have some sort of language test before being issued a visa. Once here, anyone with a spouse visa was required to pass the Life in UK test in order to apply for indefinite leave to remain, though I'm not sure this still applies due to introduction of language tests.

Going by Home office requirements, a uneducated 'pindu' may struggle with English tests etc.

Ps, details in my post are as I've either experienced or come to know from those who have gone through the inmigration process, check out the home office website for further information.

[kds1980]

A survey conducted in India a few years ago shows that 75% of girls from the cities are not even virgin during the marriage night. Besides this, they cannot cook or clean and they also become the biggest coconuts when they arrive in the west completely forgetting that they are even Indian. So if a city girl's rishtaa is being proposed run miles away.

Most of these type of sex surveys that are conducted in India are bogus.Do not trust them, there are still many good girls in Indian cities

[West London Singh]

Going by Home office requirements, a uneducated 'pindu' may struggle with English tests etc.

The opposite in fact. The uneducated 'pendu' girls have a more natural street-wise smartness about them. They're more savvy than the city girls and adapt to things alot quicker. As soon as the wedding is done they do crash English courses....driving lessons.....beauty parlour courses etc. They never ever fail the basic english test for entry and they always pass things like driving theory and british citizenship first time because they study day and night and those books and dvd's are available in Punjabi. These 'uneducated pendu' girls move to Italy and start talking like an Italian within 6 months. I see them all the time in my village. On the other hand...you take a city girl from her comfort zone and you're pretty much buggered.

[superduper]

The things is, we didn't go into a massive investigation.

We had a relative (cousin's sister in law) who knew the family and said they were a good family. Also, during the actual wedding day itself it turned out we had 2 or 3 other families that knew them and again they all said the family is really good. Then again how can you really judge a person until you get to know them.

My biggest worry is all these stories i keep hearing about kuriya who do a 180 degree turn they arrive - i've heard stories if them running off, demanding money to leave, returning to india after a few months because they don't like the UK. Its the not knowing that is the biggest concern for me.

Is there anyway you can work out what their motivies are, are there any signs or signals that I should be looking out for.

[West London Singh]

Is there anyway you can work out what their motivies are, are there any signs or signals that I should be looking out for

.

Next time you're on the phone with her steer the conversation each time towards sikhi. Talk about how important and blissfull it was for both of you to get married in front of Guru Granth sahib ji. Gauge her opinion on the issue. See how much importance she puts on that. See if she puts as much importance to it as you do. If she's very matter of fact about it she probably doesn't value it as much as you do. Thus.....she's more likely to walk away from it without a thought. Talk about how some girls have come from Punjab and are so immoral that they then left with their boyfriends after a while. See what her reaction is.

[Jonny101]

The things is, we didn't go into a massive investigation.

Is there anyway you can work out what their motivies are, are there any signs or signals that I should be looking out for.

If you havn't done the investigation yet, what is stopping you from still doing it? It's not like she has arrived in the UK. Send one of your parents or ask your parents to send a trusted relative or friend to investigate to find out about the girl and her family. It's still not too late.

[Jonny101]

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Next time you're on the phone with her steer the conversation each time towards sikhi. Talk about how important and blissfull it was for both of you to get married in front of Guru Granth sahib ji. Gauge her opinion on the issue. See how much importance she puts on that. See if she puts as much importance to it as you do. If she's very matter of fact about it she probably doesn't value it as much as you do. Thus.....she's more likely to walk away from it without a thought. Talk about how some girls have come from Punjab and are so immoral that they then left with their boyfriends after a while. See what her reaction is.

West London Singh Jee, if she is a bad girl then it is likely that she is also a good actor. If she is a fraud bride and If superduper jee asks her some hypothetical question it is very likely that she will play the role of the 'good girl' and say what he wants to hear from her.

From my own experience from the relative I mentioned earlier in this thread who ran away from her American NRI husband. Once a case happened in Canada where another fraud bride who happens to know us ran away from her husband only to bring her boyfriend and marry him, my relative (the fraud bride married to American NRI) expressed her disgust at that other fraud bride as if she herself was a moral woman. But a year later she did the same thing. BTW, both these fraud brides happened to be city girls.

These fraud brides will never even let you suspect what their ulterior motives are. they are very chalaak. Superduper Jee, still has a window of opportunity to find out as she has not arrived. He and his family should secretly start investigating the bride and her family.

[samosasingh]

The fact of the matter is that you won't really know until you are married and in your reagular life. Everything in Punjab can be bought for there own motives. Including the relatives, drivers, etc, etc. There is no guarauntee that after all the searching/checking that the person is who they are appearing to be.

You will only get what is written in your fate, you will have to except that. It is going to be good some days and bad some days. You will both have to adjust.If it is a bad relationship than it is your karma, if it is good then it is your karma. Whatever you have sown you have to reap, you can't escape, doesn't matter what you do. Just face it as it is.

Here is an example a cousin sister of my wifes (from the pind but studied in the city) "fell in love" but the boy didn't have enough land so her father said no to the marriage. It was a huge drama, they even involved us and we unknowingly to try and convince the father, without knowing that the girl, her sister and mother had come up with a story that I had brought this rishtaa from Canada.

So some time passed and some American NRI comes along and wants to marry this same girl. He did his "search" which every one was saying was very in-depth. But he didn't find out about the previous situation and nobody (obviously) told him and they ended getting married.

So whatever is going to happen is going to happen. This poor bloke got used goods and he doesn't even know it.

This whole pind, khoo, city business doesn't matter. Go in with an open mind and try and be objective and not think with your pants if you know what I mean. As it is destined so it will be. The whole world is burning in the fire of lust, there is only one in a milion who is free from this and who doesn't fall prey and some time in life. Be practical if you have dabbed in it so has the next person, no matter how much they appear not to be.

The problem in India is that they like to hide it so everybody seems all nice and dandy, they are some of the most chalaak people in the world.

[Jonny101]

You will only get what is written in your fate, you will have to except that. It is going to be good some days and bad some days. You will both have to adjust.If it is a bad relationship than it is your karma, if it is good then it is your karma. Whatever you have sown you have to reap, you can't escape, doesn't matter what you do. Just face it as it is.

Ultimately what you say is true. But just leave everything to fate does not mean we should not do our own homework. In India since long ago, doing search about a potential spouse in India is the oldest and test proven method that mostly works and it mostly prevents one from getting ripped off. It's not just NRIs who should search, even (syaanay)people in India when want to find a potential match for their son/daughter they will do a background search about the potential match and even the family. A friend of mine for example was told of a Rishtaa in India. So his parents went to India and did a background check about the girl. It was later found out that the girl was a #1 loafer girl who had a boy friend and even one of her sisters had run away with another boy. As expected that rishtaa was rejected by my friend's parents. Later my friend married a very cultured traditional girl from Batinda.