Yogi Bhajan Kundalini Yoga & All This " Aquarian Age" Stuff Is So "Emperor'S New Clothes"!

[KhalistaniGunMan]

Yogi Bhajan Kundalini Yoga & all this " Aquarian Age" stuff is so "Emperor's New Clothes"!

http://gurmukhyoga.com/forum/index.php?id=355

by Gursant Singh , Espanola New Mexico USA, Saturday, October 01, 2011, 21:37

edited by Gursant Singh, Monday, October 03, 2011, 19:26

"The Emperor has no clothes on!"

The Emperor's New Clothes:

A fairy tale (old children's story) by Hans Christian Andersen about an emperor who pays a lot of money for some new magic clothes which can only be seen by wise people. The clothes do not really exist, but the emperor does not admit he cannot see them, because he does not want to seem stupid. Everyone else pretends to see the clothes too, until a child shouts, "The Emperor has no clothes on!" The title is often used to describe a situation in which people are afraid to criticize something because everyone else seems to think it is good or important.

The excellent Parody below is taken from: http://www.sikharchives.com/?p=9443

Prologue

11-11-11, A Fable For The Dawn Of The Age Of Aquarius

A Medieval Play In Three Acts

Act I: One Fine Aquarian Day With Guru Hanuman Singh Khalsa

Soliloquy: Verily, after all of the perfidy of charlatans and knaves marked heretofore; it is time for some noble Knight’s entertainment.

Guru Hanuman Singh Khalsa alighted onto the platform of the railway station at RishiKesh, India. It had been a long and tiring journey from Espanola, New Mexico.

Guru Hanuman Singh Khalsa was a devoted acolyte of Yogi Bhajan. He had assiduously studied all of the audio-visual course materials of the late Grandmaster Of White Tantric Sexual Yoga. Only very special and promising initiates could set their ears to the highly secret recorded discourses of the departed Yogic Grandmaster. The thought crossed his mind that perhaps some of Yogi Bhajan’s video lectures had been withheld from him. He quickly dismissed the errant thought. Guru Hunuman felt Happy, Healthy and Holy. He had just taken a course in Gong Therapy. ‘It did me a lot of good’, he mused. “It cost a lot of money, but it was worth it. One day, I will be teaching White Tantric Yoga, Gong Therapy, Numerology and the other secret Metaphysiks of Yogi Bhajan”. “Who says that there is not a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. O’ Lucky Man! “, he chuckled to himself. Guru Hunuman Singh Khalsa was more than Happy, Healthy and Holy; he felt like a God. “Maybe I am a God”, he thought to himself. “After all this is India, the land of Gods. A fully enlightened man like me deserves to be a God”. He turned away from his thoughts and seeing a wizened old wayfarer passing by, said airily : ‘And a top O’ the mornin’ to you Guvnor’.

“Coolie, where is the Maha Devi (“Great Goddess”) Temple”. A scrawny old man dressed in a red tunic pushed his way through the crowd and replied: “O Great Sahib, it is only a mile up the hill. I can take you there for 10 rupees”. “Alright”, intoned Guru Hanuman. “but be quick, I am very tired”. The coolie hoisted the heavy suitcase onto the top of his head and pushed through the crowd. Guru Hanuman followed him, taking in the bustling sights around him. The narrow street was lined with the colorful stalls of merchants. Everywhere hawkers were plying their trade in loud sonorous voices. “I hope this old man can make it up the hill, he looks as if he hasn’t eaten for five days”, Guru Hunuman thought to himself. He turned to the labouring coolie and admonished him: “hurry up, hurry up, I am very tired”. “Yes, Great Sahib”, panted the old man, as he struggled up the hill.

Guru Hunuman Singh Khalsa was in Rishikish to celebrate the dawn of the Aquarian Age. After 13,000 years, the Era of the Fish (pisces – christ the fisherman) was about to yield to the Age of Aquarius. According to the secret doctrine of Yogi Bhajan, in the Aquarian Age, White Sikh Yogi Bhajan Priests would lead humanity to a paradise on earth. White Sikhs from all across the world were gathering on the sacred grounds of Rishikesh to usher in the Aquarian Age; and assume their positions as founts of Aquarian wisdom; as rulers of this world. The world famous singer Snatchem Kaur was coming. The world famous numerologist, Guru AbraCadAbra Singh Khlasa would be here. Guru Fataey Singh Khalsa, the dour, self styled Singh Sahib was attending; even Guru Purbia Singh Khalsa the impetuous 26 year old know it all would be here. Guru MouseStuck Singh Khalsa the wily and cunning webmaster was coming. “All of the important Khalsas of the world will be congregating at the Maha Devi Temple”, mused Guru Hunuman. “When I reach the temple, I’ll pay my respects to the Goddess and after a short rest in the temple ashram, I’ll see who has arrived”. His mind wandered over his checklist: do a liberating fire pooja by the river, give a lecture on the Tantric Foundations Of Sikhism, hobnob with the Hindu High Priests and Popes in Rishikish, do a video on the importance of sacred mantra chants, give a lecture on the importance of having a personal guru; and finally give the ladies a demonstration of Yogi Bhajan Tantric Sex. “It’s going to be busy but when I get back to Espanola, I am really going to get my head into some heavy duty Gong Intensives; it will do me good, purify my soul and body”, he languidly told himself.

“Hey Monkey! Wait Up!” The harsh and loud voice jarred Guru Hunuman Singh Khalsa from his reverie. He looked around.

“Hey Monkey God! wait for me”, the voice bellowed out again. Guru Hunuman looked behind him and down the hill. It was Guru Zorawar Singh Khalsa.

“Oh no, what is this pest doing here. I really hate him”, he thought to himself. “Don’t call me a monkey you have no right to”, he screamed back to Guru Zorawar Singh.

“Well, Hunuman is the Hindu Monkey God and a Guru is a person who leads his pupils from darkness (gu) to light (ru); so you are the monkey who will lead humanity from darkness to light”; bellowed Guru Zorawar as he quickened his pace to catch up with the Emperor of Monkeystan.

Guru Zorawar placed his arms around Guru Hunuman and remarked jovially: “Well how are the senoritas treating the greatest Tantric Sex fiend since the old charmer Yogi Bhajan”.

“I thought that you had been kicked out of Espanola and you membership was canceled in the 3H0. What have you been doing”, retorted Guru Hanuman Singh Khalsa.

“Well I am a real Sikh now, I have learned the Punjabi language and have read authentic Sikh History. I am just Zorawar Singh now; a humble Sikh of the Sikh Quom (race and nation). And buddy, I don’t wear white bedsheets anymore. You know, you guys are something else, masters of the rope a dope trick. But instead of a Thrilla in Manila there’s gonna be a Thrilla in Rishikesh. Remember what the Grandmaster Of Kundalini Tantric Sex Yoga used to say: fake it and you will make it. Sometimes I really miss the old galoot; he could charm the socks off a cobra”.

“You don’t know anything about Yogi Bhajan and his teachings. You are full of duality. Enough of your maya. I give you my blessings. I will pray for you”, and then he added, “Did you come here to spoil our fun?”

“Oh, I am here on a secret mission, but enough about me. Lets talk about more important things. So how are the mademoiselles treating the old dope fiend, replied Zorawar Singh lightly.

“Enough of this frivolous chatter. I have important things on my mind. We 3H0 Sikhs have to fulfill Yogi Bhajan’s mission. I’m going to be a personal guru and teach Sikhs about real Sikhism”; Guru Hunuman Singh Khalsa retorted.

“You have to be kidding. I thought that in Sikhism there can be no interlocutor between a Sikh and God. You say that you will be a personal guru but to me that is nothing more than a Sikh priest. It’s a faustian inversion of the Sikh religion! You guys take the cake!; you can’t speak Punjabi, you cannot read the Guru Granth Sahib but you are going to teach Sikhism. And if you had ever bothered to read some authentic Sikh history you would never be here in this place”. Zorawar Singh paused and then said, “Do you know what Milan Kundera said?”

“What?” said Guru Hanuman Singh Khalsa impatiently

“The first step in liquidating a people is to erase its memory. Destroy its books, its culture, its history. Then have somebody write new books, manufacture a new culture, invent a new history. Before long the nation will begin to forget what it is and what it was. The world around it will forget even faster. A nation cannot cross a desert of organized forgetting. The war against tyranny is the war against forgetting.”

You were always an <banned word filter activated> and you always will be; that’s why you were booted out of the Sikh Dharma. You are talking like those insufferable Sikh Terrorists. Grow up. Kundalini Yoga is a technology; one cannot master this technology without a personal guru. Guru Nanak gave secret yogic knowledge to his son, Sri Chand; we are teaching this secret knowledge. This is the only way to liberate yourself. Why can’t you understand this, you numbskull.

“You’ve banged your head against the gong once too often. You have gone completely ape!”, laughed Zorawar Singh. Yoga never liberated anybody from anything; it is a false path with inevitably bad consequences. It is explicitly prohibited in Sikhism as a religious practise. Anyways all Yogi Bhajan ever did was have a rip roaring good time. He had an ego bigger than the Greek God Zeus. He collected a trunk full of jewelery and collected a coterie of suppliant honorary female secretaries. I have heard of an honorary Ph.D for distinguished service; but Honorary Secretary for distinguished service? Give me a break. I’ve got to hand it to the fat old cobra, he was a master of the rope a female dope trick.

“Don’t insult Yogiji he is like a God to us”, Guru Hunuman Singh Khalsa shot back angrily.

“Man, your brain is fried; your circuits got crossed with too much ganja. You need mucho Gong Therapy. Look, Yoga has never solved any social problems and is not a prescription for righteous conduct. When Babur invaded India in 1490, the people went to the Yogis and asked for their assistance to resist the impending slaughter that awaited them. Babur, the grandson of Tamerlane, was in the direct blood line of Genghis Khan. He had a hostile animus against the hereditary, racial caste stratification of the Hindu religion. But the Yogis were cowards and replied : “We are healers, we are people of peace, we will shower our blessing on all of you. We will meditate and perform Yoga. Just go home and sit in peace. We will read sacred mantras and the invading forces will become blind”. If you have ever bothered to read the Sri Guru Granth Sahib then you will know that Guru Nanak records the cowardice of these yogis on page 417 of the Guru Granth Sahib : Koe Mughal Na Hoa Andha, Kiney Na Parcha Laiya. It means : No Mughal was blinded and none of their mantras worked. The Yogis were unable to engage in righteous conduct. What was the use of all their Yoga? The philosophy of Guru Nanak and Sikhi considers courage to be a highest virtue. Spirituality without courage is cowardice. Of what use is it being pious if one does not have the courage to speak out, to stand against injustice or to stand beside the weak, the oppressed and the needy? Valor and courage are the essence of Sikhi; it is the core of the Saint-Soldier creed of the Lord Of The Falcons, Guru Gobind Singh.

There was a thick silence. Then Zorawar Singh continued:

“When Gursant Singh was in the direst circumstances here and he desperately needed your assistance; where were all of you? You tucked your tails in between your hind legs and high-tailed it out of Dodge. What use is your yoga. Can yoga take the yellow belly out of you?

“You know nothing about Sikhism”, retorted Guru Hunuman Singh Khalsa. “You are really ignorant. The duty of a Sikh is only to teach the technology of yoga peacefully to his disciples so that they can liberate themselves. There is no duty to fight wars, engage in violence or take care of the whole world as it were. The world is maya, it is best to withdraw from it. That is why we live in ashrams. Violence can never be justified. Ever. Which wars did Guru Nanak fight anyways. Once enough people master Kundalini Yoga, the world will automatically change. Keep on talking like this and you will find out that Sikh terrorists are a very nasty lot. You will learn when they come after you; but it will be too late then”. Then as an afterthought he added in a very low tone, “If I was you, I would keep my mouth shut here; there are rumors that Sikh terrorists are in Rishikish. ”

Zorawar Singh laughed. “Your yellow stripes are showing again. What terrorists? You remind me of that little twerp Purbia Singh Khalsa. He almost died of fright when a lady from the Babbar Khalsa International phoned him up to inquire on how his tantric sexual yoga lessons were progressing”.

“No, I am serious, the Babbar Khalsa International is here. There is heavy police security all around. Don’t you see the police with sub-machineguns at every crossing? I heard that the Police had caught a few of them and were interrogating them. I really hope that they teach these dogs a lesson”, Guru Hunuman Singh answered in a trembling voice. And then as an after thought he added: “We all got a message from Esponala, telling us to be very careful”.

“Common, don’t be such a big coward. I can hear your heart going thumpty-thump. So what? a true Sikh is never afraid of anything and true Sikhs do not consider that there is any difference between life and death. ”

“You are such a fool. Thats all theory. Come down to the real world. Everybody in the world is afraid to die and everybody wants to live. That is reality. You were a fool and you you will always be a fool”, Guru Hunuman answered in an unsteady voice.

“Babbar Khalsa? aren’t they the guys that got freedom for India. How can they be terrorists? The English hanged 1592 terrorists during the war for freedom here and out that number 1572 were Sikhs”, Anyways, I don’t care, I am a real Sikh now. I laugh at death.

“You were always a goddamn Hillbilly and you always will be. I’ll never figure out how you got a membership to 3H0″, Guru Humuman Singh Khalsa retorted.

“Just like you pal, the femmes gave it to me honoris causa. For being a great servitor of the female race. Just like you!”, laughed Zorawar Singh.

“You are trash and garbage”, Guru Hunuman Singh said with rising anger in his voice.

“Actually the Lord Of The Falcons (“Baaj Guru”) said: If you want to play the game of love then place your head in your hands and step unto my lane. The Lord Of The Falcons also said: O’ Lord grant me this one boon, that I may die in mighty strife on the battlefield”. Guru Gobind Singh never said: O’ Lord grant me this one boon that I may die giving Kundalini Yoga lessons. Is not what Guru Gobind Singh asserted part of the Creed? Why do you merchants of false spirituality shy away from the essence of Sikhism. If you want to follow the creed truly, then you must believe that there is no difference between life and death except for a transformation. You cowards make me sick in the pit of my stomach. You are the merchants of Multan who were slaughtered by Babur. He could not stand the sight of you. You are destroying something very beautiful. Not only do you jackasses not get it, you are milking the Religion for all that it is worth. Money is what turns your crank, buddy. You all are very, very sick people. All your false pretense of love. All your\ Satnaam! Satnaam! If you call yourself a Khalsa then at least have the courage to use the proper greeting of the Khalsa; Wahe Guruji Ka Khalsa! Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh! ( The Khalsa belongs to God, The Victory belongs to God!). . This is the real greeting, not Satnaam . It is a war cry on the battlefield. You are fooling nobody. We understand everything. What a pack of fakesters! Love was when Sahibzadeh Ajit Singh and Fateh Singh laid their lives down at the alter of the Sikhi of Slave Nanak at the ages of fifteen and seventeen . Love was when the Princes Jujhar Singh and Zorawar Singh elected to be bricked into a wall alive rather than submit to Islam; at the ages of nine and seven. Love was when Guru Gobind Singh sacrified his entire family at the alter of the the Religion of Slave Nanak. Nobody of this divine religion did Yoga, Kundalini Yoga or Tantra until you jackasses miscegnated the race.

“I don’t want to listen anymore to this. I am here to enjoy myself and vibrate with the Universe”, Guru Hunuman Singh Khalsa replied, his voice quavering.

“You want to vibrate with the Universe in this filthy hole! It does not even have proper sewage! Well let this hillbilly give you a history lesson”, Zorawar Singh replied.

“I’m not interested in your stupid histories. Who cares for history. Only you! The world has moved beyond your stupid history lessons. Grow up, you ignorant hillbilly. Guru Yogi Bhajan has given us a perfect science of liberation. It’s called the Science of Kundalini Yoga. It is the Kriya of Liberation and it is the very core of Sikhism. Guru Nanak gave this secret knowledge to his son Sri Chand and we are very lucky that Guru Yogi Bhajan received this secret knowledge after so many centuries”, yonder and up the hill the Maha Devi Temple was visible. Guru Hanuman Singh Khalsa joined his hands and bowed.

You got me riled up and I’m insisting”, persisted Zorawar Singh.

“Maan Singh was an Afghan Sikh who lived in faraway Kandahar in Afghanistan. He was married to a faithful and pious wife and he was blessed with a very beautiful young daughter. But despite this, Maan Singh was not a particularly devoted family man and he wasn’t a particularly good Sikh. He liked women far too much and he liked to drink everyday of the week. Vices plain and simple; but he would never tire of consoling himself that he was a devoted Sikh. And so the days rolled on for Maan Singh. Then one day fate moved it’s mighty hand and Maan Singh’s little world fell apart. A messenger arrived in his tiny village on horseback with news that Guru Gobind Singh was being besieged at the Castle of Anandpur Sahib and that the Guru was enjoining all Sikhs to hasten to The Punjab to confront the enemy. The circumstances of the Sikh Nation were extreme and dire, the messenger explained. Mann Singh immediately decided to come to the aid of the Guru and Quom. He bid farewell to his wife and daughter the very same day, and mounting on his stallion, embarked on the journey to Anandpur Sahib eighteen hundred long miles away. That was love! Maan Singh never returned home. What happened to him is unknown. He was probably swept away in the great carnage of the time as the Sikh nation fought desperately to avoid annihilation. Now this is a true story and it shows you the devotion of real Sikhs. Unlike you fakes, Maan Singh never tried to destroy the Sikh Faith. This religion of Slave Nanak has been sustained by martyrs like Maan Singh under the most oppressive and dire circumstances imaginable. The pillars along The Path (‘Sikh Nation, Panth”) are the martyrs who have sacrificed their lives in the cause of the religion of Slave Nanak. Not a single one of them was a yogi. Until you fakesters lay your lives down in the cause of this religion, you have no right to preach Sikhism to anybody or call yourself Khalsa. You people are unproven, rootless and bereft of history. It is well marked that you have no respect for the martyrs of this noble faith. I feel sorry for the lot of you, living meaningless and empty lives practising Kundalini Yoga and other twisted rituals; using religion to scam people, milking the Sikh religion so that you can put food in your bellies. You all have never experienced love; that’s why you keep on looking in all the wrong places for it, desperately trying to convince yourself that you have found it. You just don’t get it. You never will! You really think that you can play the game of love by preaching your soulless mind numbing Kundalini Yoga. You make no sense at all!”.

There was silence.

End Of Act I

[Jaggaa]

Not well enough to read this, eyes hurt (flu or cold not sure).. What is the gist of this post? In a paragraph or two!

[KhalistaniGunMan]

it exposes what the 3h0 really are all about..give it a read bro..its worth it

Best extract from the article...to all 3H0 and kundalini yoga supremacists ...Yoga has never solved any social problems and is not a prescription for righteous conduct. When Babur invaded India in 1490, the people went to the Yogis and asked for their assistance to resist the impending slaughter that awaited them. Babur, the grandson of Tamerlane, was in the direct blood line of Genghis Khan. He had a hostile animus against the hereditary, racial caste stratification of the Hindu religion. But the Yogis were cowards and replied : “We are healers, we are people of peace, we will shower our blessing on all of you. We will meditate and perform Yoga. Just go home and sit in peace. We will read sacred mantras and the invading forces will become blind”. If you have ever bothered to read the Sri Guru Granth Sahib then you will know that Guru Nanak records the cowardice of these yogis on page 417 of the Guru Granth Sahib : Koe Mughal Na Hoa Andha, Kiney Na Parcha Laiya. It means : No Mughal was blinded and none of their mantras worked. The Yogis were unable to engage in righteous conduct. What was the use of all their Yoga? The philosophy of Guru Nanak and Sikhi considers courage to be a highest virtue. Spirituality without courage is cowardice. Of what use is it being pious if one does not have the courage to speak out, to stand against injustice or to stand beside the weak, the oppressed and the needy? Valor and courage are the essence of Sikhi; it is the core of the Saint-Soldier creed of the Lord Of The Falcons, Guru Gobind Singh.

[Artmental]

Zzzzzz

[Lion of Punjab]

zzzzzzzzzz

[GuptUnknown]

I am confused. I had never heard of 3HO before. Are they the same people running SikhNet and Chardikala Jatha? What do they do that's anti-sikh? :s Sorry for my ignorance.

[Jonny101]

I don't think 3ho is anti Sikh but I do beleive that they are misguided.

[Wales85]

Severely misguided. The problem is when you go looking for sikh resources all of there websites are the first things that come up.... then you think yep, another BS crazy hippy religion. To me they are just another yoga cult, but dressed up in sikh clothes... . Small in number, but as a provider of information on sikhi they reach a TON of people via the web and do immeasurable harm to youth, potential converts, etc. That is the danger with 3HO.

[guptkuri]

3ho brainwashes people, in my opinion. I have a friend (american) she has been in 3ho and known about them only a year. Now she is in India for vaction, 2 weeks later she is engaged. Because she had a vision while doing yoga, this is who she is suppose to marry. This is the second time this year, she has done this. earlier it was a old white 3h0 sikh, now a stranger from India.

3h0 does things to people

[GuptUnknown]

Severely misguided. The problem is when you go looking for sikh resources all of there websites are the first things that come up.... then you think yep, another BS crazy hippy religion. To me they are just another yoga cult, but dressed up in sikh clothes... . Small in number, but as a provider of information on sikhi they reach a TON of people via the web and do immeasurable harm to youth, potential converts, etc. That is the danger with 3HO.

. Is SikhNet a 3HO site? Also is chardikala jatha 3HO members? :s.