Need Help - Marriage question's !

[savinderpalsingh]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa !! Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh !!

Guru roop sadh Sangat jio ,

Das needs has some wedding questions!!

Parent are looking for girl for me to get married

So currently there is this girl we are having a discussion about .

She is not Amritdhari , but she has been doing path and sehaj path from childhood and is very strict in it.

The girl is beautiful she is from Mumbai , Das is from chandigarh

i asked her if she could take amrit , if we decide to get married. Her answer was that due to her job in fashion field , she isnt doing it .

but i said , you'll have to move to chd and there is 100% chance you will not find same work here and you will not feel bad about being an Amritdhari.

but her brother said its a very big step for her as we do not want to force her (which is true , even i do not want to force her)

The thing that is troubling me is that , why would that be an issue for a person who is really firm believer in Sikhi and who does regular path.?

My family says its not an issue you can get married to her!! she will take amrit bit latter!!

Following are my concern's

1) we can not eat Jhoot . share each others food. - now it would create issues latter on

2) no physical relation --

Please help me out - what to do ?

i definitely do no not want to break my amrit !!

[InderjitS]

Discussed before. Previous posts state:

kMinAw dyvY isK ko lyvY nih ikC dwm [ myrw soeI is`K hoie phuMcy ly mm Dwm [

So I think the above line and quotes from other sources pretty much makes everything crystal clear. Guru Ji said : jo koaU myrw isK khwvY, pwhul ly suB krmu kmwvY [ then how can you be a Sikh without taking Amrit? therefore non-amritdhari person is not a Sikh.

SRM:

http://www.sgpc.net/...hap_eleven.html

it is stated :


Article XVIII

q. A baptised ought to get his wife also baptised.


There is of course ambiguity as to what the exact meaning of this article would be, as in my opinion it shows that it is preferable for a match of "baptized" individuals, as suggested by the word "ought." However, I personally don't believe the description according to the SGPC site is clear enough to suggest it is a neccessity as far as the SGPC Maryada is concerned.

Nevertheless, like I say the ambiguity allows scope to take it either way that it is a must, or that it is preferable.

[MKaur89]

You are obviously not compatible for each other so why not just politely decline and ask your parents to find someone who will be more suitable for you, such as someone who is already Amritdhari or someone who is willing to take Amrit before or soon after marriage.

If you already know before marriage that this girl from Mumbai is unwilling to take Amrit at a later stage, then it would be very unwise for you to go ahead and get married to her. Being an Amritdhari, you obviously understand the importance of Amrit and accepting Guru Gobind Singh Ji's hukam, whereas this girl has a different opinion, for whatever reason (job etc.). So already your fundamental beliefs are not in line with each other and this can cause many problems in the future.

Also, you mentioned that your parents said she may take Amrit later so it's not an issue. She may become Amritdhari, she may not. She may be inspired by you and decide to change her mind, but then again she may not. There's no guarantee. Is that really a risk you want to take?

It's best to get married to someone who is on the same wavelength as you and who is spiritually at a similar level as you or even higher, so you can encourage each other to lead a Gursikhi jeevan. That way you don't have to worry about breaking your rehat, eating jhooth etc. Marriage is for life so it's best to take your time and not rush your decisions. You are already having doubts, so maybe deep down you know this girl is not the right one for you.

[Gurpreet14]

Sunny u getting married....wow parttyyyyy..... I know u hate to talk to me....but I dont....as u a good sikh.....

Well u cant force some1 to take amrit... After I had breakup with my boyfriend....coz I became amritdhari....he tried to come back.....

I was also like...what to do.... Getting emotinally weak.....

At dat tym 1 of my frnd told me.... Pyaar ta bot milna dunia ch....but eh Guru tenu baar baar ni milna......

If u amritdhari Its a rehet to get married with amritdhari....

But I have seen many who r married with 1 being amritdhari n another not...but yaar kudiya de mamle ch te tension ni zaada...if u want u can marry... girls r very emotional... Once u get married ki pta she will have ur influence to become amritdhari....n this happens lot many times....

Remember....Rabb baar baar ni milda...so never break ur amrit....n u know wat...I have seen ur pics...there is a shadow of Guruji in u....u r superb sikh.... Our religion needs people like u...u call urself dass na... Then follow him..... N naam ohi japda jisnu rabb japwanda e....

All the best stay blessed...keep hating me

[luckysingh99]

Discussed before. Previous posts state:

kMinAw dyvY isK ko lyvY nih ikC dwm [ myrw soeI is`K hoie phuMcy ly mm Dwm [

So I think the above line and quotes from other sources pretty much makes everything crystal clear. Guru Ji said : jo koaU myrw isK khwvY, pwhul ly suB krmu kmwvY [ then how can you be a Sikh without taking Amrit? therefore non-amritdhari person is not a Sikh.

SRM:

http://www.sgpc.net/...hap_eleven.html

it is stated :

Article XVIII

q. A baptised ought to get his wife also baptised.

There is of course ambiguity as to what the exact meaning of this article would be, as in my opinion it shows that it is preferable for a match of "baptized" individuals, as suggested by the word "ought." However, I personally don't believe the description according to the SGPC site is clear enough to suggest it is a neccessity as far as the SGPC Maryada is concerned.

Nevertheless, like I say the ambiguity allows scope to take it either way that it is a must, or that it is preferable.

NOTE- your amrit does not break or become invalid if you get married with her.

The rehat is not specific and doesn't make it a necessity as stated above by Inderjit.

As far as I see it, the girl is from a Sikh family and she does have the intentions of doing amrit even at her own convenience.

She is a VERY GOOD SIKH in my opinion, because she has high regards and respect for amrit because she knows it should be done when the time and situation is right.

Imagine- if you had just said to her, ''I will only marry you if you take amrit ??"

Then she rushed to take it, would you respect her decision as much ???

With regards to jooth and physical relations, I think that you are making this an issue and problem yourself.

If you are married by anand karaj and in the presence of Guruji, then I can't see how sharing an ice cream is going to tamper your amrit, anand karaj ,and Guruji.

That is me personally, may be I offend and should be excommunicated ??

Do I care ??, is someone going to tell me what I should and should not do with my wife when Guruji has joined us ??

To have physical relations with your wife if she is NOT amritdhari is not a bujjar kurehit.

I don't think that we should make our own sikhi a backward and Taliban like religion !

[tuhintuhin]

You are lucky that you are getting a girl who is strict in doing paath.....as far as taking Amrit is concerned....it's upto Guru ji when he will endow HIS kirpa on her.....don't force her and don't take it too hard on yourself........there are no kurehats that you mentioned once you are married to each other by anad karaj...........

you know sikhs like her collect their kamai before taking Amrit by Guru ji's kirpa and when they take amrit you can't imagine what level they go to....like a rocket......

It's 100% better than having a girl who's amritdhari but not spiritual or paath doer....

[sat]

We had another person some time back asking a similar question and your reply savinderpal singh was as below and you also made other very strong comments regarding this subject see link below.

Now i am not judging or criticizing you so don't get offended, but when it comes to giving others advice one should be ready to take there own advice first, see how maharaj works , he has now put you in the same situation. i personally dont beleive maharaj said you can not have a relationship with your wife if she was not amritdhari, i myself made comments in that topic which you can read and so did many others some of whom have already commented here, go and get married and dont worry maharaj is merciful, he is your father he would not hurt you for marrying someone and having kids. I agree with lucky singh 100%.

You said as below+ many other comments follow link at the bottom.

WaheGuru Ji Ka Khalsa !! WaheGuru Ji Ki Fateh !!

Waheguru ji ,

as per maryada you can but you will not be able to have physical relation with your wife until she takes amrit too

for more maryada ,

please visit following link

http://www.damdamita...id=80&Itemid=68

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/70883-can-you-take-amrit-if-your-partner-does-not/

[savinderpalsingh]

We had another person some time back asking a similar question and your reply savinderpal singh was as below and you also made other very strong comments regarding this subject see link below.

Now i am not judging or criticizing you so don't get offended, but when it comes to giving others advice one should be ready to take there own advice first, see how maharaj works , he has now put you in the same situation. i personally dont beleive maharaj said you can not have a relationship with your wife if she was not amritdhari, i myself made comments in that topic which you can read and so did many others some of whom have already commented here, go and get married and dont worry maharaj is merciful, he is your father he would not hurt you for marrying someone and having kids. I agree with lucky singh 100%.

You said as below+ many other comments follow link at the bottom.

WaheGuru Ji Ka Khalsa !! WaheGuru Ji Ki Fateh !!

Waheguru ji ,

as per maryada you can but you will not be able to have physical relation with your wife until she takes amrit too

for more maryada ,

please visit following link

http://www.damdamita...id=80&Itemid=68

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/70883-can-you-take-amrit-if-your-partner-does-not/

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa !! Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh !!

Waheguru ji,

this is quite an old topic , however .

stuck to the point with my family

even though they grillled me enuff ,but managed to convince them to say no to girl if she is not willing to take amrit .

[Jonny101]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa !! Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh !!

Waheguru ji,

this is quite an old topic , however .

stuck to the point with my family

even though they grillled me enuff ,but managed to convince them to say no to girl if she is not willing to take amrit .

You made the right decision. When it comes to Gurmat principles, do not care what the entire world says. Just stick to your asools. As an Amritdhari you cannot marry a non Amritdhari girl as per rehit.

[tuhintuhin]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa !! Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh !!

Waheguru ji,

this is quite an old topic , however .

stuck to the point with my family

even though they grillled me enuff ,but managed to convince them to say no to girl if she is not willing to take amrit .

waheguru ji what if she takes amrit under family pressure just for marriage not from heart, does this guarantee that she would become a good sikh?

Wouldn't this be unfair to her that Amrit is forced upon her instead of she accepting and urging for it earnestly from heart?

you don't have to answer me....just self analyize it when you are alone

It seems like onu amrit shakauna is in your hands not Guru ji........

You are blackmailing her and her family.....sorry if it hurts you....

Even Parkash singh badal is Amrit shak...has it make him a good sikh and do we all trust or respect him?

we all know the answer

If you want to marry an amritdhari girl then say that I want to marry an amritdhari girl but don't at least put conditions that if you don't take amrit I will not marry you......its hurting...................put pressure on your family not on hers