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I Did Mistake But My Punishment Is Too Much!


Guest rebel
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i admit that i said some bad words about guru about a year ago,i had posted before about this topic but don't know why my topics are deleted.

there are people who loot millions of people,kill people but nothing happens to them.i did paath in the past.i regularly woke up at amrit vela and do paath.i almost did this for a year.about a year ago i said some bad words.but i said sorry MILLIONS OF TIMES.first my eyes then my legs and now my arms have disease.my one eye moved slightly inward,my legs become bent inwards and then i donated blood about some weeks ago and somehow that whole part of my arm is rotting.i think its some kind of infection.i am furious at the moment.i said sorry many times,i tried to pray to many other gods also.nothing is working.now i am just angry.if someone have power that does not make him kind.this is not justice at that time i believed god does not exist.if you say some bad word about god your life and after life will be ruined what kind of justice is this.i did not say god to create me,i dont want to exist at all.this is insane.but i am a free man i will die by my own will.i will surely do sucide.and i hope i did not come back.

and please do not delete this topic.

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Rebel, I feel same too, exactly same happen with me.

Just deleted long post from what's happening section, I have actually gone mad with all th dukh.

Don't do th suicide, we only feel like doing it as no other way we can see.

Been many places, my faith gone in spiritual ppl too, it's such a nasty world for ill people nowadays.

I came on here wanting honsla again myself, this is th only place I get it from.

But findin myself givin u advice, it's very hard, I understand exactly wat u goin thru, all I say is dnt push ur self, this is wat I do and end up zero again.

God is with us, we don't feel it, when we get honsla from friends relatives we feel bit optimistic, just keep that thought with u think somebody is with you, u not alone, think god is with u, but we can't feel them as we are not normal healthy therefore not happy, as dukh takes over.

I had bad news today of finally meeting a sant, but trip now cancelled, buts it's what our family wanted that god plz don't send us to wrong place n left to them to stop us meeting if not right for me, and now I feel let down n that I misses chance of gettin better.

We too different avatars respect, and not say bad to others faith, but believe in one god, he is th creator of everybody, even th other gods u talk about, without their hukam no other can do nothing.

Dnt feel guilty about sayin bad to god, we don't mean it n only saying it without think in being so dukhi.

Ask for forgiveness, n don't dwell on it.

I can't sleep and get panic attacks, but learning not to rely fully on humans for help.

Don't lose hope, and dnt get hopes up on spiritual people too much as they are just extra help, god is th doer, it's hard to live in hukam with disease but keep going.

Thanks simran721 sis for message me today, I logged in wanting honsla n for long time nobody sent Msge, but today I got urs, meant a lot to me even if was short.

Try try then try again. . .

If u feel infection keep going docs, keep getting second referrals, docs given up on me, but u have to keep trying to get tests for everything. Dnt give up on th docs.

I just pray next life god plz I be born in amritdhari family, so I can be healthy n normal, n start sikhi from early age, as wasted my whole life th dukh not let me achieve this, n comin late findin out about sikhi, that's my dream as it didn't happen this life.

Waheguru, , ,

I forgot one last thing, tell th docs how u feel, ask for a counsellor to talk to, I think they can come to ur house if u can't get to them, ask them. I been deferring this as too weak to talk, but want to do it, so I am not alone, as it's hard, and my minds messed up now from going different places.

Talk to somebody if u can.

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i admit that i said some bad words about guru about a year ago,i had posted before about this topic but don't know why my topics are deleted.

there are people who loot millions of people,kill people but nothing happens to them.i did paath in the past.i regularly woke up at amrit vela and do paath.i almost did this for a year.about a year ago i said some bad words.but i said sorry MILLIONS OF TIMES.first my eyes then my legs and now my arms have disease.my one eye moved slightly inward,my legs become bent inwards and then i donated blood about some weeks ago and somehow that whole part of my arm is rotting.i think its some kind of infection.i am furious at the moment.i said sorry many times,i tried to pray to many other gods also.nothing is working.now i am just angry.if someone have power that does not make him kind.this is not justice at that time i believed god does not exist.if you say some bad word about god your life and after life will be ruined what kind of justice is this.i did not say god to create me,i dont want to exist at all.this is insane.but i am a free man i will die by my own will.i will surely do sucide.and i hope i did not come back.

and please do not delete this topic.

You are suffering because of your past karmas. They might not be from this life, maybe past life. Stop blaming God for every misery you have instead start praying to him and ask for forgiveness. you cannot command God what to do, you can only do Ardaas.

DONOT COMMIT SUICIDE!!! Please… What you need to do is to find Sadh Sangat..

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If you commit suicide, all that will happen is that you will be reborn, come back as a human and suffer the same diseases. Don't be a coward. Face your sins and tackle them.

You are blaming your current pains on what you think was said, but almost no one on this planet has insight into the enormity of their sins. If you spent your previous lives murdering, raping and looting, would you consider what you have as sufficient punishment?

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i admit that i said some bad words about guru about a year ago,i had posted before about this topic but don't know why my topics are deleted.

there are people who loot millions of people,kill people but nothing happens to them.i did paath in the past.i regularly woke up at amrit vela and do paath.i almost did this for a year.about a year ago i said some bad words.but i said sorry MILLIONS OF TIMES.first my eyes then my legs and now my arms have disease.my one eye moved slightly inward,my legs become bent inwards and then i donated blood about some weeks ago and somehow that whole part of my arm is rotting.i think its some kind of infection.i am furious at the moment.i said sorry many times,i tried to pray to many other gods also.nothing is working.now i am just angry.if someone have power that does not make him kind.this is not justice at that time i believed god does not exist.if you say some bad word about god your life and after life will be ruined what kind of justice is this.i did not say god to create me,i dont want to exist at all.this is insane.but i am a free man i will die by my own will.i will surely do sucide.and i hope i did not come back.

and please do not delete this topic.

Just say tera paana mithaa laage.............and move on..and suicides are done by LOSERS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>so plz yh......

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i admit that i said some bad words about guru about a year ago,i had posted before about this topic but don't know why my topics are deleted.

there are people who loot millions of people,kill people but nothing happens to them.i did paath in the past.i regularly woke up at amrit vela and do paath.i almost did this for a year.about a year ago i said some bad words.but i said sorry MILLIONS OF TIMES.first my eyes then my legs and now my arms have disease.my one eye moved slightly inward,my legs become bent inwards and then i donated blood about some weeks ago and somehow that whole part of my arm is rotting.i think its some kind of infection.i am furious at the moment.i said sorry many times,i tried to pray to many other gods also.nothing is working.now i am just angry.if someone have power that does not make him kind.this is not justice at that time i believed god does not exist.if you say some bad word about god your life and after life will be ruined what kind of justice is this.i did not say god to create me,i dont want to exist at all.this is insane.but i am a free man i will die by my own will.i will surely do sucide.and i hope i did not come back.

and please do not delete this topic.

Waheguru

Guru Ang 855

Pa▫oṛī.
Pauree:

Ko▫ī ninḏak hovai saṯgurū kā fir saraṇ gur āvai.
If someone slanders the True Guru, and then comes seeking the Guru's Protection,

Picẖẖle gunah saṯgur bakẖas la▫e saṯsangaṯ nāl ralāvai.
the True Guru forgives him for his past sins, and unites him with the Saints' Congregation.

Ji▫o mīhi vuṯẖai galī▫ā nāli▫ā tobẖi▫ā kā jal jā▫e pavai vicẖ sursarī sursarī milaṯ paviṯar pāvan ho▫e jāvai.
When the rain falls, the water in the streams, rivers and ponds flows into the Ganges; flowing into the Ganges, it is made sacred and pure.

Ėh vadi▫ā▫ī saṯgur nirvair vicẖ jiṯ mili▫ai ṯisnā bẖukẖ uṯrai har sāʼnṯ ṯaṛ āvai.
Such is the glorious greatness of the True Guru, who has no vengeance; meeting with Him, thirst and hunger are quenched, and instantly, one attains celestial peace.

Nānak ih acẖraj ḏekẖhu mere har sacẖe sāh kā jė saṯgurū no mannai so sabẖnāʼn bẖāvai. ||13||1|| suḏẖ.
O Nanak, behold this wonder of the Lord, my True King! Everyone is pleased with one who obeys and believes in the True Guru. ||13||1|| Sudh||
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i admit that i said some bad words about guru about a year ago,i had posted before about this topic but don't know why my topics are deleted.

there are people who loot millions of people,kill people but nothing happens to them.i did paath in the past.i regularly woke up at amrit vela and do paath.i almost did this for a year.about a year ago i said some bad words.but i said sorry MILLIONS OF TIMES.first my eyes then my legs and now my arms have disease.my one eye moved slightly inward,my legs become bent inwards and then i donated blood about some weeks ago and somehow that whole part of my arm is rotting.i think its some kind of infection.i am furious at the moment.i said sorry many times,i tried to pray to many other gods also.nothing is working.now i am just angry.if someone have power that does not make him kind.this is not justice at that time i believed god does not exist.if you say some bad word about god your life and after life will be ruined what kind of justice is this.i did not say god to create me,i dont want to exist at all.this is insane.but i am a free man i will die by my own will.i will surely do sucide.and i hope i did not come back.

and please do not delete this topic.

All the near death suicide case reveal that Soul puts these challenges in ones path for growth. If one were to commit suicide He/She will be born again and has to face the same consequences. Life proceeds out of intention/attention and sponsoring thoughts. By the power bestowed by GOD in you, one creates its experiences via thought, words action. Repeated thought, words and action manifest in physical reality. So you can focus on the positive (read gurbani, Naam Simran, seva not just gurudwara or anywhere homeless shelters etc) and in time your change your thoughts and life. You can say that my thoughts are what they are, I am a negative person... by you not helpless. Using this statement repeatedly (focusing on) that I Am sick, helpless, depressed, nothing etc...... will produce this experience in physical reality. Sikhi is path of self responsibility, so humbly align you mind with the higher conscious of Guru sahibs and let them guide you to happiness and prosperity.

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Guest dasguruka

Im no saint but if you've said stuff to Vaheguru then maybe you should ask for forgiveness and respect him. One way is to have an Akhand Paath and listen to it as much as you can. Rest is in his Will

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