The Giving 'pyar' System In Punjab?

[Pakandi baba 154]

If it's no obvious, it's the giving of money as pyar, why is this being done? it's annoying. I said to my family there that if we had to do that here in the west we'd never go to relatives houses lol - It's just adding more financial burdens for no reason at all. BAN it!

[luckysingh99 1,221]

Never done it or ever accepted it !

It's all fake, ego....counting......remembering...judging......MANMAT like most punjabi cultural actions

[hsingh8963 374]

Kids love the money though lol

[S1ngh 2,418]

Respect culture of other regions is all i have to say

[Ranjeet01 3,828]

I am not a big fan of it either. You feel obliged to do it if there is a kid you are seeing for the first time but then the whole "nahi nahi" drama unfolds.

If you are at the receiving end, you cannot take the money immediately but make a reluctant hoo haa about and then begrudgingly accept it where if no one gave this "pyar" you would slag them off behind them behind their back because they came empty handed.

We have a strange pakhandi Punjabi culture. If you are honest and upfront in your dealings you are a befkoof, however if you do this behnji behnji indirect behaviour it is a good thing.

[Akalifauj 900]

If you purely give a gift from your heart then it is fine. But if you expect to receive something back at a later date then don't do it in the first place.

Those who do it for formality sake receive nothing but i take from them to have a good laugh. Love how they start doing nindiya....lol

[gsingh12345 60]

Along with money the giving of suits for women and shirt/jacket for men. I never understood why this was done.

[JagsawSingh 860]

Along with money the giving of suits for women and shirt/jacket for men. I never understood why this was done.

On the positive side, we're doing our bit for the economy and medium sized businesses.

After all, we as a community, are single-handedly responsible for ensuring the economic survival of the 'Van Haussen rubbish old fashioned shirt in a box' industry.

If not us for our lainha denha, who else buys those rubbish shirts ?

[Ranjeet01 3,828]

The suit business is quite funny because I have heard of a lady passing a suit to another lady which then get passed to another lady back to the lady who gave it in the first place.

[JagsawSingh 860]

The suit business is quite funny

The suit business is mostly funny because we men are an insignificant afterthought. A suit and a shirt are given together. The suit will be a £200 or £300 beautiful latest design / latest fashion suit. The man's shirt laying on top of this lovely suit will be a Van Haussen £3.99 1970's fashion outdated rubbish cheap shirt.

Now, my theory is that they deliberately ensure the shirt is extra rubbish to ensure all's attention is drawn to the extravagence expense gone into the suit beneath it.

[kamc 131]

The suit business is mostly funny because we men are an insignificant afterthought. A suit and a shirt are given together. The suit will be a £200 or £300 beautiful latest design / latest fashion suit. The man's shirt laying on top of this lovely suit will be a Van Haussen £3.99 1970's fashion outdated rubbish cheap shirt.

Now, my theory is that they deliberately ensure the shirt is extra rubbish to ensure all's attention is drawn to the extravagence expense gone into the suit beneath it.

You do realise that these shirts are actually original 1970's shirts, the fact is that no one opens them so they will go from family to family and have been doing so for the last 30 odd years.

On a serious note, the whole giving "pyar" is really up to the individual, it's taken me 12 years of moaning to stop my in-laws from putting money in my birthday cards, this year they finally gave in and i got an empty card, happy times. The unfortunate thing is, like everything in the punjabi culture, it becomes about one up-manship, if somebody gave you £20 then you have to either match it or step up the game, but like i said, it's up to the individual.

[Pakandi baba 154]

Kids love the money though lol

Kids love the money though lol

OK for the kids it's fie, but the adults do it too. And as they give you pyar, you return it by giving them pyar, so it call comes back instantly but it's very bizarre. You can understand going for the first time and it's done, but not EACH time.

Those saying the little business benefit, well they don't because it's the same suits and shirts that are in circulation form weddings and what not from years ago lol

If there are people from Muslim, Hindu religions, do they have the same custom I wonder? please contribute to the thread

Fateh

[JagsawSingh 860]

Those saying the little business benefit, well they don't because it's the same suits and shirts that are in circulation form weddings and what not from years ago lol

Yeah it was a joke. Unless, of course, a small business called the 'Van Haussen Rubbish Cheap Shirt in a Box Company' actually exists ! :omg:

OK for the kids it's fie, but the adults do it too. And as they give you pyar, you return it by giving them pyar, so it call comes back instantly but it's very bizarre. You can understand going for the first time and it's done, but not EACH time.

I'm actually an authority on this whole lainha denha business. When loud arguments start on the doorsteps of Punjabis houses, as guests leave...as the guest says 'banadha ah' and the host says 'Neih'yn....nein banadha'. It is then that they call me, for I am an expert in kerdhi cheej banadhi 'ah and kerdhi cheej banadhi nein. In the example you stated , I will inform that, as the guests have previously visited and left pyar for the kids, they are not obliged to do so again on subsequent visits. Unless, of course, the hosts have had a new kid since the guests last visited. In that case, that kid didn't get his or her pyar last time around and it would be a grave insult if the guests gave no pyar on this visit.

So, now that we've established that pyar will be given we need to know how much is to be given. Agian, at this point, they call me for I am an an authority on these matters. I will tell them kerdhi cheek banadhi 'ah and kerdhi cheej banadhi nein. I will tell them banadhi ah to give either a £10 or £20 note to a child as pyar. If however, it is that kid's birthday and you are giving a card then banadhi 'ah to add a £ to any note you give, so it should always be either £11 or £21 for example. The same with the money you give with the lovely suits and the rubbish men's shirts. That money should always end in the number 1, so either £21, £31 or £51 etc.

[savinderpalsingh 708]

no one does,when you grow up they do that incase of girls only .

its kind of a custom to give some gift after visiting from a long period of time. sikhs used to do that .

so sometimes they say "we forgot to get anything , heres some cash buy something "

personally i dont take it, but if another singh is giving with love you have to respect and accept the offering .

[Pakandi baba 154]

Yeah it was a joke. Unless, of course, a small business called the 'Van Haussen Rubbish Cheap Shirt in a Box Company' actually exists ! :omg:

I'm actually an authority on this whole lainha denha business. When loud arguments start on the doorsteps of Punjabis houses, as guests leave...as the guest says 'banadha ah' and the host says 'Neih'yn....nein banadha'. It is then that they call me, for I am an expert in kerdhi cheej banadhi 'ah and kerdhi cheej banadhi nein. In the example you stated , I will inform that, as the guests have previously visited and left pyar for the kids, they are not obliged to do so again on subsequent visits. Unless, of course, the hosts have had a new kid since the guests last visited. In that case, that kid didn't get his or her pyar last time around and it would be a grave insult if the guests gave no pyar on this visit.

So, now that we've established that pyar will be given we need to know how much is to be given. Agian, at this point, they call me for I am an an authority on these matters. I will tell them kerdhi cheek banadhi 'ah and kerdhi cheej banadhi nein. I will tell them banadhi ah to give either a £10 or £20 note to a child as pyar. If however, it is that kid's birthday and you are giving a card then banadhi 'ah to add a £ to any note you give, so it should always be either £11 or £21 for example. The same with the money you give with the lovely suits and the rubbish men's shirts. That money should always end in the number 1, so either £21, £31 or £51 etc.

Nice read

Also the another question arises from the post you've made. Why the 21, 51, 101 uneven number? is that a superstition thing as again it's odd. I've told my mum to stop it and she has.