What About The Women In Sikhism?

[simran345]

Bhein ji girls in India see their mothers taking care of Grandparents whereas abroad most mothers are working or stay in nuclear family setup.

Environment is such that everyone has to fend for themselves so it is futile to seek compassion.

Therefore exposure to Unique Home is good for them.

Mothers here also do that, and work and manage the house. They are strong and inspirational role models for girls, that they can multi-task and they bring home a wage for the families, rather than sitting at home all day watching zee tv, or doing chuglian of the pind.

Nowadays in pinds, daughters or the daughter in laws rarely go to the khuhs, with rotian in the shabeh, or make the pahthian, and all the work our elder women did. Here the girls get education and the mothers also independence which is a good thing.

And I agree with penji Jkv, as bibian here do make an effort to teach their daughters about Sikhi. It's not all about making the roti, respect also needs to be taught, that's where you would be right.

[SinclairP]

...

[simran345]

Dear friends, I am sincerely grateful to you all for your answers. Your answers are very informative and I have learned a lot. I would still like to know if there are any women that have had a deep desire to forget about the world and devote themselves to God? I mentioned convents, because this is what the nuns claim they felt when they took their solemn vows to dedicate their whole lives in remembrance of God and contemplation. They surrendered to God's Will and took their solemn vows only to marry God. When I read their literature, I can't help feeling and noticing their sweet devotion and deep love for Him. Their love for God is so inspiring, I am trying to replicate this feeling on my path but I don't have any sikh women to inspire. I can not find any literature written by sikh women on their spiritual journey and special love they felt for God. There is no lack of men reaching the summit and we hear a lot about them, but what about the women? Is there no sikh woman that has completely surrendered to her one and only one love that is God? If not, why not? I have to keep going back to reading the christian literature written by christian women for inspiration. Their love for God is so sweet and divine, I find them very inspiring. I know there is only one God at the end of the day, but to realize that one God, surely one has to totally surrender to His Will like the nuns do?

Why would women from different religious background feel this total commitment to God that they are prepared to give everything up and take their solemn vows to remain faithful to Him and in the end marry Him? Marry Him in their hearts and remain faithful to Him their entire lives?

Sinclair P ji, you may find some answers to your questions in this previous post, of Sikh parchariks/Sants:

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/70272-thread-dedicated-to-sikh-woman-parcharikhssants/?hl=%2Bsikh+%2Bwomen+%2Bsaints

Biographies of great Sikh women:

https://www.allaboutsikhs.com/great-sikh-women/great-sikh-women

This doesn't directly answer your questions, but it' may help, some already mentioned in previous replies :

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/valarie-kaur/10-sikh-women-you-should-know_b_1353700.html#slide=start

http://www.sikhwomen.com/sikhism/booksonsikhism.htm

To realise God, one does not have to surrender everything. The Gurus tell us in Order to experiences Gods love, one does not need to run away from the world, but can be felt whilst amongst the world.

The love for Waheguru shines through those souls that do seva (selfless service) also and at the same time sings praises of God. God is everywhere, within each and every soul, such as the abandoned children that Bibi Parkash Kaur ji looks after. If a Sikh woman does not want to marry and dedicate her life to this, or to God, nobody is stopping her.

There are 3 pillars of Sikhi:

Guru Nanak Dev jis closest companion, a minstrel named Bhai Mardana, came from a Muslim family. They traveled together extensively for more than 25 years. Guru Nanak Dev ji sang hymns he composed in devotion of one God. Bhai Mardana accompanied him by playing the Rabab, a stringed instrument. Together they developed and taught three fundamental principles:

1. Naam japna, remembering God through meditation.

2. Kirat karo, earning an honest living.

3. Vand chakko, selflessly serving others, sharing income and resources.

[Pakandi baba]

This is not what the OP is asking from us. The person wants to know if there are any present day women who would want to lead a spiritual life totally dedicated to God. No marriage, no children, no housework or any other distractions that can stop them from leading this kind of life. What is wrong with you all, can't you understand what OP is asking of us? There is no point in making references to historical women, the questioner is concerned about the present day women only.

How does one go to the gurdwara and do simran? Kirtan is fine but which women will assist the OP in his/her questions? Sikh women in the gurdwara or community are mostly married and leading/playing 16 types of different roles, so which one will be able to 'assist' in this situation? They are not nuns. How many women have taken vows of Silence, taken lead in Prayer, Sewa outside of gurdwara situation etc? None. I think the question is very deep and we don't have the answer to what the person is trying to find out. Women can do kirtan but after that they don't return to the convent to be alone with Him. The simran has to be done alone sitting quietly in your own home and space, gurdwara is too busy for someone looking for quiet solitude.

The answer to the OP's question is that our kom has become far too involved with material gains/concerns/ far too materialistic, with no time to look for the Beloved. The Beloved can wait, having a beautiful relationship with Him is not one of the top priorities for the kom! Our worship has become too ritualistic, meaning, as long as we do 1000000000000 Akhand Paaths and spend $100000000000000000000000000 on them will suffice. For the majority of the kom this will amount to 'worship' of Waheguru. Our definition of being 'spiritual and religious' is doing our Nit nem and naam jap with our minds traveling at the speed of 10000000000000000000 thoughts per second. It has all become a dikhaawa a pakhand. It is ever so sad that we cannot answer OP's question with sufficient insight or wisdom to what is required.

It's not advisable to lead this kind of life. Grisht jeevan is what is accepted. Householders life, marriage, children etc. But it is a personal choice but again not ideal in Sikhi or promoted.

[Not2Cool2Argue]

Dear friends, I am sincerely grateful to you all for your answers. Your answers are very informative and I have learned a lot. I would still like to know if there are any women that have had a deep desire to forget about the world and devote themselves to God? I mentioned convents, because this is what the nuns claim they felt when they took their solemn vows to dedicate their whole lives in remembrance of God and contemplation. They surrendered to God's Will and took their solemn vows only to marry God. When I read their literature, I can't help feeling and noticing their sweet devotion and deep love for Him. Their love for God is so inspiring, I am trying to replicate this feeling on my path but I don't have any sikh women to inspire. I can not find any literature written by sikh women on their spiritual journey and special love they felt for God. There is no lack of men reaching the summit and we hear a lot about them, but what about the women? Is there no sikh woman that has completely surrendered to her one and only one love that is God? If not, why not? I have to keep going back to reading the christian literature written by christian women for inspiration. Their love for God is so sweet and divine, I find them very inspiring. I know there is only one God at the end of the day, but to realize that one God, surely one has to totally surrender to His Will like the nuns do?

Why would women from different religious background feel this total commitment to God that they are prepared to give up everything and take their solemn vows to remain faithful to Him and in the end marry Him? Marry Him in their hearts and remain faithful to Him their entire lives?

Other woman saints are Mira Bai,she was a hindu saint, very famous. You should read her poetry and about her life. She faced many obstacles because her family did not want her to be a bhagat/devotee.

Then there was Mai Kaulan. She was born in a muslim family. But she wanted to be a sikh and i think the story goes her family was going to force her into marriage or force her to give up sikhi. I forget which, sorry. So she runs away to guru arjan dev ji, the 5th guru. And she tells him she wanta to dedicate her life to sikhi and god. So the guru built her her own place. She lived her life there alone, happily. It still exists. It is a famous gurudwara now, Mai Kaulan sarover. So if u did want to start a female saints group. I think it ahould be based there at Mai Kaulan. It is very close to Harmandar Sahib/Golden Temple.

Also Mata Bhag Kaur or Mai Bhago. Since a child she wanted to learn martial arts ans stay with the guru. But she was married off. But then she led the deserters back into battle and stayed with the guru for the rest of her life. First as a bodyguard but then as a saint. The guru had a special place built for her to live alone. It still exists, i think near damadama sahib. Her weapons are still there.

Then there was a famous woman sikh saint, Mata Gulab Kaur in the 20th century. Many aspiring saints, even men, went to her to get inspired. Read about her.

Also somewhere i read that yhere is a gurudwara in delhi, which is totally women based. The granthi/caretaker/priests are women. As is the congregation. Maybe u can visit and stay there. But i dont know anything else about it, sorry.

Lastly, i would reccomend the book Eat,Pray,Love by elizabeth gilbert. She talks about woman meditators from all traditions and how they were all similar. She also talks about her stay at an ashram. Which is like a convent but different. And how it is possible to be a devotee while in worldly life. You can skip the eat section..but definitely read the pray section.

[pardesanbibbi]

]

[simran345]

Other woman saints are Mira Bai,she was a hindu saint, very famous. You should read her poetry and about her life. She faced many obstacles because her family did not want her to be a bhagat/devotee.

Then there was Mai Kaulan. She was born in a muslim family. But she wanted to be a sikh and i think the story goes her family was going to force her into marriage or force her to give up sikhi. I forget which, sorry. So she runs away to guru arjan dev ji, the 5th guru. And she tells him she wanta to dedicate her life to sikhi and god. So the guru built her her own place. She lived her life there alone, happily. It still exists. It is a famous gurudwara now, Mai Kaulan sarover. So if u did want to start a female saints group. I think it ahould be based there at Mai Kaulan. It is very close to Harmandar Sahib/Golden Temple.

Also Mata Bhag Kaur or Mai Bhago. Since a child she wanted to learn martial arts ans stay with the guru. But she was married off. But then she led the deserters back into battle and stayed with the guru for the rest of her life. First as a bodyguard but then as a saint. The guru had a special place built for her to live alone. It still exists, i think near damadama sahib. Her weapons are still there.

Then there was a famous woman sikh saint, Mata Gulab Kaur in the 20th century. Many aspiring saints, even men, went to her to get inspired. Read about her.

Also somewhere i read that yhere is a gurudwara in delhi, which is totally women based. The granthi/caretaker/priests are women. As is the congregation. Maybe u can visit and stay there. But i dont know anything else about it, sorry.

Lastly, i would reccomend the book Eat,Pray,Love by elizabeth gilbert. She talks about woman meditators from all traditions and how they were all similar. She also talks about her stay at an ashram. Which is like a convent but different. And how it is possible to be a devotee while in worldly life. You can skip the eat section..but definitely read the pray section.

Not2cool2argue Paji, is it this Mai Kaulan ji you are saying?

"As the name Kaulan means Daring. Mata Kaulan ji was a woman during the period of the sixth sikh Guru Dhan Sri Guru Hargobind Sahib ji . Her parents belonged to Hindu Religion. She was stolen by Qazi Rustam Khan during her childhood. Qazi Rustam was a Muslim priest. Further qazi taught her the lessons of Islam. After a short period he sent her to Sai Mian Mir to for higher level of education.

Sai Mian Mir ji was the true lover of Guru Nanaks feet. He often went to Amritsar to meet Guru Arjan Dev Ji(Fifth Sikh Guru ). Sai ji often recites large no of Guru Ji;s sayings (Gurbani Panktis) and feel the true warmth of Gurus lap.

As the time passed Mata ji was caught by Qazi and was imprisoned into his house. She was treated very badly these. He abuse her daily. Mata Kaulan ji prayed to GOD daily for rescue and due to her prayers Guru Harbobind Sahib ji came near qazis house with sangat. Mata kolan ji requested to her maid servant to do a favour for her. He agreed. She gave him a letter for Sri Guru Hargobind Sahib ji. She explained her pitiful condition in the letter.

On reading the letter Guru Ji started to do the necessary plannings for her rescue. Guru Ji sent her message to Mata ji that he is coming very soon but she had to came out of the house . After that it is Guru ji s duty to protect her.

As Guru Sahib reached in front of the Qazis house . Five Sikhs were also along with him. she escaped from the top window of the house and came outside. This way Guru ji rescued her from the Qazi s house. Then along with Mata ji Guru ji came to Amritsar. Here some necessary health treatments were given to her.

Then at Amritsar she started singing Bani and was free to meditate. Within a short time she started climbing the internal spiritual stairs towards the Sachkhand."

Thats a good suggestion of Mata Kaulan ji. One of my friends was thinking of setting up something for widows and women, where they can stay. There is also the Bibi Kaulan ji Bhalai Kender Trust in Amritsar.

[simran345]

Another Gurdwara, founder by a Bibi ji:

http://matanankifoundation.com/trust/index.php

[MHS]

Surprisingly, not many or any women from contemporary period have followed in their footsteps. Surely, there must be some women who would like to join the "unique Home" to care for the unwanted girls as well as surrender their lives to God because they love Him so much, much more than any human being!

[harkirat23]

How does a woman tell her parents that she wants to spend her life dedicated to vaheguru? Will her parents allow her to follow her heart ever, no matter how serious she is regarding her quest for spiritual knowledge or vaheguru? This is surely a right of a western woman and not of a woman coming from the east. In the eastern thinking only men are allowed to do such things which goes to show how we have ignored Guru Sahibans teachings on gender equality. It is a shame.

I agree, one of the reasons why our aunty jis consult babbeys is because of their failure to experience that special relationship with God that many Christian women claim to have experienced. Just look at Mother Teresa of Calcutta, she was a Christian woman who lived her life in a nunnery and managed to achieve very high spiritual status in her lifetime. I cannot imagine even for a moment a Sikh woman achieving this! Her parents will simply not allow her to walk the Path of God, ever. There are so many Christian women saints that lived in nunneries as nuns and were able to dedicate their lives to God.

We all know that girls are forced to get married as soon as they reach puberty, the ones that don't they are considered a burden and a liability. No, she will never be allowed to do what the boys are allowed to do 'cos she is definitely treated differently from sons. This is one of the major issues in our communities around the world and the reason girls are behaving the way they are because they are rebelling against their parents.They get very angry when they see right before their eyes how their parents treat boys differently to them!! They question, why boys can get away with drinking and doing other things when they can't? They are well aware of their parents' double standards. It is up to the girls what they wanna do as far as their spiritual calling is concerned. if they feel very strongly about dedicating their entire lives to vahaguru and vahaguru's sewa then no one should stop them, in fact, they should be supported by the community. If boys can do it so can girls, the Gurus accorded equality to both genders. Gender equality was not invented in the west, it was preached by our Gurus. Equal rights for both men and women. It is only due to our unpartta that we ignored it and were not able to pass on to the future generations.

It is better to dedicate one's life to vahaguru and sewa than to go through an unhappy marriage just because her parents are worried about what people will say if she is not married. Most marriages end up unhappy and full of problems anyway, so, women should think very carefully whether they want to devote their lives to their 'calling' or do what their worldly, materialistic parents want them to do. We are not living in the primitive times anymore and girls are becoming aware of their status in sikhism as awarded by the Gurus. It is equal.