30 Day Going Sober Blog

[Ranjeet01]

Lol wow I have read all your posts and didnt expect that reaction. Ive decided not to continue blogging because I've clearly offended some people

I want to apologise again for anyone ive offended and for what its worth, all your posts and advice have helped me become a better person

There was no excuse for me to slip up but I just want to say whats been on my mind whilst I was blogging ....

99% of people I have spoke to on here and taken advice from are blessed in the sense that they are born into a gursikh family or born into a family which has made them keep kesh. People who have never had kesh and then keep it have generally been influenced by a fellow family member/friend who has supported them. In my case, I have none of that, my whole family and extended family are big drinkers and any effort I've made to mx with gursikhs has been rejected. This isn't me feeling sorry for myself or taking a dig at the sangat, I've mentioned this before, its just me being honest. You guys are probably thinking well what does that matter whether there are gursikhs in my family or friend circle - it means that the changes and sacrifices I have to make are a lot greater than most people who are blessed with sikhi. Again this is no excuse for my actions.

The 7 weeks that I stopped drinking is the longest I have been without a drink since I started at the age of 15. Thats an amazing achievement to me and I couldn't have done it without your guys help so a massive thank you. I think the only down side of it all was that I expected to meet someone in a similar situation to me, someone who came from a similar background and was facing similar sacrifices.

Please don't take this the wrong way as I appreciate everything the sangat has done to help me but you guys always seem to question why sikhi isn't growing and why people are turning away from sikhi but then rather than encouraging people towards sikhi, you push them away because you expect it to be something thats going to happen overnight. I slipped up and I can understand your frustration after all your efforts but after thinking about it, 7 weeks of not drinking has allowed me to get closer to sikhi than I have ever been before in my life

This is just a journey I will continue on my own now, please try not to be offended by anything I've wrote, I'm just trying to be honest and point out that the sangat need to be more open and understanding for the sake of bringing people closer to sikhi

Thank you all and peace out! :)

You've fallen off the wagon.

Look at why you have fallen off the wagon, correct those mistakes.

Don't blame Sikhi for this, take accountability for your action.

Sikhi gives you the clarity to see the action you have taken and then gives you a solution. It gives you the bir rass and the chardikala to overcome this obstacle.

If you hanging around your cousins is causing you taking up drinking again. Simple avoid your cousins.

Pick up yourself up, dust yourself off and get yourself back on the wagon. This time you will be better than the last time.

[dallysingh101]

99% of people I have spoke to on here and taken advice from are blessed in the sense that they are born into a gursikh family or born into a family which has made them keep kesh. People who have never had kesh and then keep it have generally been influenced by a fellow family member/friend who has supported them. In my case, I have none of that,

I'm not from this background and I've grown up around drinkers and later drug-takers, so don't think you are the only one.

my whole family and extended family are big drinkers and any effort I've made to mx with gursikhs has been rejected.

You sound like you're getting the violin out mate.

How old are you now? When are you going to start to make a distinction between who and what is good for you and who and what aren't? Don't get upset if some momma's boys 'Gursikhs' gave you the cold shoulder in the past. I wouldn't want to mix with such people anyway.

Just get some decent hobbies going on and stop being a sheep brother.

Find better things to do with your spare time.

[sikhni777]

This is just a journey I will continue on my own now,

You have been on your own from day1. You decided to quit. No one told you to do that. Every decision you have made - you have done it on your own. We may just stepped in for the excitement. You decided to take up exercising - you did it on your own with someone from work.

You decided to give in to your friend - and take that drink........ you did it on your own. He said no one will know and now we all know - you told us.

Five me one good example of where you followed what someone on here told you ............ ( I stress naam simran) you never say yes I will.

You decided to do rehras .... you did it on your own. no one advised you to do it.

You decided to quit it your blog.... you do it on your own. You decide to start your blog.... YOU will do it on your own.

You are doing it all on your own!!!!

We are only just reading your blog............. nothing else.

God helps those who help themselves.

[MisterrSingh]

Don't get upset if some momma's boys 'Gursikhs' gave you the cold shoulder in the past. I wouldn't want to mix with such people anyway.

From my experience, some of these are as lost, or moreso, than the types they consider to be beneath them. It's just that on the surface they seem like the idealised representation of what a Sikh should be.

Again, it's this propensity to view Sikhi as some kind of social club; it's not! All the heavy lifting has to be done on an individual basis. Yes, draw inspiration from others, but once you start using it as a crutch, you'll get nowhere. It's just substituting one kind of social setting for another; albeit one that, at first glance, appears less destructive, but scratch the surface and you'll realise that just because these religious individuals aren't consumed by the need to consume alcohol and other intoxicants, that doesn't mean they aren't riddled with arguably more destructive vices that the naked eye can detect.

I know I said I was done with this thread, but I made an exception. Thought I'd clear that up before some smart-so-and-so decides to point out the obvious.

[dallysingh101]

From my experience, some of these are as lost, or moreso, than the types they consider to be beneath them. It's just that on the surface they seem like the idealised representation of what a Sikh should be.

Again, it's this propensity to view Sikhi as some kind of social club; it's not! All the heavy lifting has to be done on an individual basis. Yes, draw inspiration from others, but once you start using it as a crutch, you'll get nowhere. It's just substituting one kind of social setting for another; albeit one that, at first glance, appears less destructive, but scratch the surface and you'll realise that just because these religious individuals aren't consumed by the need to consume alcohol and other intoxicants, that doesn't mean they aren't riddled with arguably more destructive vices that the naked eye can't detect.

I know I said I was done with this thread, but I made an exception. Thought I'd clear that up before some smart-so-and-so decides to point out the obvious.

This is not (in my opinion which is fortified with a lot of actual experience), anything about upbringing, snide 'Gursikhs', intoxicant loving Panjabi families, drug dealers, alcohol or anything else along those lines. It's bigger than that. It's about being manipulated and having some measure of discernment about what is positive and what is negative for your mind and body and future. It's also about having some recognition that as (even young) adults, we have some choice about what leisure activities we pursue (we could go to a pub for instance, or we could go to a gym; we could spend money on flash clothes, drinks, drugs etc. or spend that money on equipment to build a little gym in our spare rooms or garages).

Anyone from any background can find themselves in his situation. I've known a few guys from proper 'respectable' Amritdhari families who've grown up to take all manner of gear (one of them even died from it). Plenty of people from backgrounds where drugs and alcohol are norms have given them a wide berth as young adults.

OP empower yourself. Realise that you are in a position to make choices.

I have to say, most of the people I've met who've been heavy into coke, seem to have some deeply rooted and cleverly concealed issues with self-esteem (okay a lot of us have, but they are sometimes on a next level). They seem to use it to boost themselves out of this temporarily.

I think this brother may be one of those types of people, and his need to socialise and belong, and feel camaraderie/closeness brings him into the orbit of other more devious and insidious (or maybe plain clueless) relatives/individuals who are intent on taking him down.

I'd rather be on my own than hanging around with a bunch of w***ers who are obviously trying to derail me.

Maybe he is going to have to learn the hard way? Or end up like one brother I knew and die from these weaknesses.

OP, I'm hoping for the best for you and I hope you quickly find a way out of your maze before it catches up with you. But I have to say, stop being a pu55y bro. Take charge of yourself.

At least knock that charlie on the head.

[Guest niceness]

Lol wow I have read all your posts and didnt expect that reaction. Ive decided not to continue blogging because I've clearly offended some people

I want to apologise again for anyone ive offended and for what its worth, all your posts and advice have helped me become a better person

There was no excuse for me to slip up but I just want to say whats been on my mind whilst I was blogging ....

99% of people I have spoke to on here and taken advice from are blessed in the sense that they are born into a gursikh family or born into a family which has made them keep kesh. People who have never had kesh and then keep it have generally been influenced by a fellow family member/friend who has supported them. In my case, I have none of that, my whole family and extended family are big drinkers and any effort I've made to mx with gursikhs has been rejected. This isn't me feeling sorry for myself or taking a dig at the sangat, I've mentioned this before, its just me being honest. You guys are probably thinking well what does that matter whether there are gursikhs in my family or friend circle - it means that the changes and sacrifices I have to make are a lot greater than most people who are blessed with sikhi. Again this is no excuse for my actions.

The 7 weeks that I stopped drinking is the longest I have been without a drink since I started at the age of 15. Thats an amazing achievement to me and I couldn't have done it without your guys help so a massive thank you. I think the only down side of it all was that I expected to meet someone in a similar situation to me, someone who came from a similar backgroud

Dont be offended by us being offended. I wanted to write a nice, encouraging post yesterday, but everyone was giving out tough love yesterday and i didnt want to ruin the mood...( plus MisterrSingh told off anyone being encouraging or softy softy...lol..u can even see that after him everyone reposted a 'tougher, get ur act together' post...)

.Also this is the problem of asking others esp strangers for help: they r not in ur situation, they have it easy: just give advice n talk, u r the one who has to walk the talk. So u should carefully choose wat advise to follow and which to ignore.

Also dont confuse niceness with kindness, ppl here were trying to be kind by being tough.You know we r sikhs but we r humans too, so we also make mistakes, get angry, petty,jealous, and act stupid. So dont think of us as wiser, but think of us as ur friends who r trying to support u: by being nice, encouraging, by being tough, and saying <banned word filter activated>. Anything to keep u going.

Heres my nice post that i was gonna post yeaterday: All ppl battling an addiction fall one more time before completely winning. That fall lets them see they dont enjoy the addiction anymore, which means ur past the bodily/physical addiction and youve won half the battle. This fall lets them see that now they can fight, subdue, and control the addiction if they just keep going.

This is where u r. Youve fallen but dont let that keep u down. Get up and keep going. You will win.....cheers

[Guest nice]

Lol wow I have read all your posts and didnt expect that reaction. Ive decided not to continue blogging because I've clearly offended some people

I want to apologise again for anyone ive offended and for what its worth, all your posts and advice have helped me become a better person

There was no excuse for me to slip up but I just want to say whats been on my mind whilst I was blogging ....

99% of people I have spoke to on here and taken advice from are blessed in the sense that they are born into a gursikh family or born into a family which has made them keep kesh. People who have never had kesh and then keep it have generally been influenced by a fellow family member/friend who has supported them. In my case, I have none of that, my whole family and extended family are big drinkers and any effort I've made to mx with gursikhs has been rejected. This isn't me feeling sorry for myself or taking a dig at the sangat, I've mentioned this before, its just me being honest. You guys are probably thinking well what does that matter whether there are gursikhs in my family or friend circle - it means that the changes and sacrifices I have to make are a lot greater than most people who are blessed with sikhi. Again this is no excuse for my actions.

The 7 weeks that I stopped drinking is the longest I have been without a drink since I started at the age of 15. Thats an amazing achievement to me and I couldn't have done it without your guys help so a massive thank you. I think the only down side of it all was that I expected to meet someone in a similar situation to me, someone who came from a similar backgroud

Dont be offended by us being offended. I wanted to write a nice, encouraging post yesterday, but everyone was giving out tough love yesterday and i didnt want to ruin the mood...( plus MisterrSingh told off anyone being encouraging or softy softy...lol..u can even see that after him everyone reposted a 'tougher, get ur act together' post...)

.Also this is the problem of asking others esp strangers for help: they r not in ur situation, they have it easy: just give advice n talk, u r the one who has to walk the talk. So u should carefully choose wat advise to follow and which to ignore.

Also dont confuse niceness with kindness, ppl here were trying to be kind by being tough.You know we r sikhs but we r humans too, so we also make mistakes, get angry, petty,jealous, and act stupid. So dont think of us as wiser, but think of us as ur friends who r trying to support u: by being nice, encouraging, by being tough, and saying <banned word filter activated>. Anything to keep u going.

Heres my nice post that i was gonna post yeaterday: All ppl battling an addiction fall one more time before completely winning. That fall lets them see they dont enjoy the addiction anymore, which means ur past the bodily/physical addiction and youve won half the battle. This fall lets them see that now they can fight, subdue, and control the addiction if they just keep going.

This is where u r. Youve fallen but dont let that keep u down. Get up and keep going. You will win.....cheers

[Not2Cool2Argue]

https://youtu.be/3TX-Nu5wTS8

Dont turn a bad day into a decade!!!

[dallysingh101]

https://youtu.be/3TX-Nu5wTS8

Dont turn a bad day into a decade!!!

Dude, that video was awesome!

Turn bad days into good data.

[InderjitS]

The idea was to create a new post, but this seems an apt place as any for it!

this is another amazing video from BoS, the 16 year old veer is a true inspiration, please share.