30 Day Going Sober Blog

[kaurp]

If you don't understand Shabads tty searching on apps like igurbani where you will understand the meaning .

I know as man is a social animal we cant stay lonely all the time we need someone or something to do to talk butisolation is some times required.only when you are alone you can introspect about yourself you can meditate and bring transformations in your self.

[sikhni777]

I put my headphones and try hard to figure out what they are saying but I don't understand it

There are a number of shabads which have their words written on them.. lyrics on the screen.

However if you want the meanings of any shabad and any shabad in punjabi too, there is an app called Gurbani nirvaan. It has the options to choose to read the meanings in English too. (In fact you can read them in English only if you want)

The search in this app is so easy that you just need to type in the first letters of the words in punjabi. e.g. if you want to get to Thakur gaiye aatam rang - you type in TGAR. Well it will bring you the shabad, but you got to know a little punjabi in order to know which search is correct. However you are welcome to ask me for help anytime.

Alternatively you can choose to listen to an album and I will get you all the shabads in there and their meanings too. That way you can focus on certain shabads at one particular time.

To listen is supreme. These lines are from Japji sahib. They tell us the benefits of listening to the word of God. That is just the start.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਸਿਧ ਪੀਰ ਸੁਰਿ ਨਾਥ ॥

सुणिऐ सिध पीर सुरि नाथ ॥

Suṇi▫ai siḏẖ pīr sur nāth.

Listening-the Siddhas, the spiritual teachers, the heroic warriors, the yogic masters.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਧਰਤਿ ਧਵਲ ਆਕਾਸ ॥

सुणिऐ धरति धवल आकास ॥

Suṇi▫ai ḏẖaraṯ ḏẖaval ākās.

Listening-the earth, its support and the Akaashic ethers.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਦੀਪ ਲੋਅ ਪਾਤਾਲ ॥

सुणिऐ दीप लोअ पाताल ॥

Suṇi▫ai ḏīp lo▫a pāṯāl.

Listening-the oceans, the lands of the world and the nether regions of the underworld.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਪੋਹਿ ਨ ਸਕੈ ਕਾਲੁ ॥

सुणिऐ पोहि न सकै कालु ॥

Suṇi▫ai pohi na sakai kāl.

Listening-Death cannot even touch you.

ਨਾਨਕ ਭਗਤਾ ਸਦਾ ਵਿਗਾਸੁ ॥

नानक भगता सदा विगासु ॥

Nānak bẖagṯā saḏā vigās.

O Nanak, the devotees are forever in bliss.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਦੂਖ ਪਾਪ ਕਾ ਨਾਸੁ ॥੮॥

सुणिऐ दूख पाप का नासु ॥८॥

Suṇi▫ai ḏūkẖ pāp kā nās. ||8||

Listening-pain and sin are erased. ||8||

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਈਸਰੁ ਬਰਮਾ ਇੰਦੁ ॥

सुणिऐ ईसरु बरमा इंदु ॥

Suṇi▫ai īsar barmā inḏ.

Listening-Shiva, Brahma and Indra.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਮੁਖਿ ਸਾਲਾਹਣ ਮੰਦੁ ॥

सुणिऐ मुखि सालाहण मंदु ॥

Suṇi▫ai mukẖ sālāhaṇ manḏ.

Listening-even foul-mouthed people praise Him.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਜੋਗ ਜੁਗਤਿ ਤਨਿ ਭੇਦ ॥

सुणिऐ जोग जुगति तनि भेद ॥

Suṇi▫ai jog jugaṯ ṯan bẖeḏ.

Listening-the technology of Yoga and the secrets of the body.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਸਾਸਤ ਸਿਮ੍ਰਿਤਿ ਵੇਦ ॥

सुणिऐ सासत सिम्रिति वेद ॥

Suṇi▫ai sāsaṯ simriṯ veḏ.

Listening-the Shaastras, the Simritees and the Vedas.

ਨਾਨਕ ਭਗਤਾ ਸਦਾ ਵਿਗਾਸੁ ॥

नानक भगता सदा विगासु ॥

Nānak bẖagṯā saḏā vigās.

O Nanak, the devotees are forever in bliss.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਦੂਖ ਪਾਪ ਕਾ ਨਾਸੁ ॥੯॥

सुणिऐ दूख पाप का नासु ॥९॥

Suṇi▫ai ḏūkẖ pāp kā nās. ||9||

Listening-pain and sin are erased. ||9||

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਸਤੁ ਸੰਤੋਖੁ ਗਿਆਨੁ ॥

सुणिऐ सतु संतोखु गिआनु ॥

Suṇi▫ai saṯ sanṯokẖ gi▫ān.

Listening-truth, contentment and spiritual wisdom.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਅਠਸਠਿ ਕਾ ਇਸਨਾਨੁ ॥

सुणिऐ अठसठि का इसनानु ॥

Suṇi▫ai aṯẖsaṯẖ kā isnān.

Listening-take your cleansing bath at the sixty-eight places of pilgrimage.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਪੜਿ ਪੜਿ ਪਾਵਹਿ ਮਾਨੁ ॥

सुणिऐ पड़ि पड़ि पावहि मानु ॥

Suṇi▫ai paṛ paṛ pāvahi mān.

Listening-reading and reciting, honor is obtained.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਲਾਗੈ ਸਹਜਿ ਧਿਆਨੁ ॥

सुणिऐ लागै सहजि धिआनु ॥

Suṇi▫ai lāgai sahj ḏẖi▫ān.

Listening-intuitively grasp the essence of meditation.

ਨਾਨਕ ਭਗਤਾ ਸਦਾ ਵਿਗਾਸੁ ॥

नानक भगता सदा विगासु ॥

Nānak bẖagṯā saḏā vigās.

O Nanak, the devotees are forever in bliss.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਦੂਖ ਪਾਪ ਕਾ ਨਾਸੁ ॥੧੦॥

सुणिऐ दूख पाप का नासु ॥१०॥

Suṇi▫ai ḏūkẖ pāp kā nās. ||10||

Listening-pain and sin are erased. ||10||

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਸਰਾ ਗੁਣਾ ਕੇ ਗਾਹ ॥

सुणिऐ सरा गुणा के गाह ॥

Suṇi▫ai sarā guṇā ke gāh.

Listening-dive deep into the ocean of virtue.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਸੇਖ ਪੀਰ ਪਾਤਿਸਾਹ ॥

सुणिऐ सेख पीर पातिसाह ॥

Suṇi▫ai sekẖ pīr pāṯisāh.

Listening-the Shaykhs, religious scholars, spiritual teachers and emperors.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਅੰਧੇ ਪਾਵਹਿ ਰਾਹੁ ॥

सुणिऐ अंधे पावहि राहु ॥

Suṇi▫ai anḏẖe pāvahi rāhu.

Listening-even the blind find the Path.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਹਾਥ ਹੋਵੈ ਅਸਗਾਹੁ ॥

सुणिऐ हाथ होवै असगाहु ॥

Suṇi▫ai hāth hovai asgāhu.

Listening-the Unreachable comes within your grasp.

ਨਾਨਕ ਭਗਤਾ ਸਦਾ ਵਿਗਾਸੁ ॥

नानक भगता सदा विगासु ॥

Nānak bẖagṯā saḏā vigās.

O Nanak, the devotees are forever in bliss.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਦੂਖ ਪਾਪ ਕਾ ਨਾਸੁ ॥੧੧॥

सुणिऐ दूख पाप का नासु ॥११॥

Suṇi▫ai ḏūkẖ pāp kā nās. ||11||

Listening-pain and sin are erased. ||11||

[sikhni777]

Here is a video which you may like to make a start with. Do let me know if it appeals to you because everyone has their own preferences to what type of music appeals to their souls.

[sikhni777]

Something about will power for you. The last line is the most important.

At its essence, willpower is the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals. And there are good reasons to do so. University of Pennsylvania psychologists Angela Duckworth, PhD, and Martin Seligman, PhD, explored self-control in eighth-graders over the course of the school year. The researchers first gauged the students’ self-discipline (their term for self-control) by having teachers, parents and the students themselves complete questionnaires. They also gave students a task in which they had the option of receiving $1 immediately or waiting a week to receive $2. They found students who ranked high on self-discipline had better grades, better school attendance, and higher standardized-test scores, and were more likely to be admitted to a competitive high school program. Self-discipline, the researchers found, was more important than IQ in predicting academic success. Other studies have uncovered similar patterns. June Tangney, PhD, of George Mason University, and colleagues compared willpower by asking undergraduate students to complete questionnaires designed to measure their self-control. The scientists also created a scale to score the student’s relative willpower strength. They found the students’ self-control scores correlated with higher grade-point averages, higher self-esteem, less binge eating and alcohol abuse, and better relationship skills.

The benefits of willpower seem to extend well beyond the college years. Terrie Moffitt, PhD, of Duke University, and colleagues studied self-control in a group of 1,000 individuals who were tracked from birth to age 32 as part of a long-term health study in Dunedin, New Zealand. Moffitt and her colleagues found that individuals with high self-control in childhood (as reported by teachers, parents and the children themselves) grew into adults with greater physical and mental health, fewer substance-abuse problems and criminal convictions, and better savings behavior and financial security. Those patterns held even after the researchers controlled for the children’s socioeconomic status, home lives and general intelligence. Such findings underscore the importance of willpower in nearly all areas of life.

Defining Willpower

We have many common names for willpower: determination, drive, resolve, self-discipline, self-control. But psychologists characterize willpower, or self-control, in more specific ways. According to most psychological scientists, willpower can be defined as:

· The ability to delay gratification, resisting short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.

· The capacity to override an unwanted thought, feeling or impulse.

· The ability to employ a “cool” cognitive system of behavior rather than a “hot” emotional system.

· Conscious, effortful regulation of the self by the self.

· A limited resource capable of being depleted.

This means that the constant battering or should I do it or not - depletes will power. So try to avoid debating with yourself.

Just a little piece of advice for you, which you may benefit from.

(Your other post did get me thinking very hard and I just realised that to reach to a stage of where I find myself today took me some years - others took months and hours. It does take time to digest information being thrown at you - because we are all at different levels. We can only make changes in small steps. However if we don't make the effort to move we will remain where we are. The mind is like a wild untrained horse which will fly into all directions. As Guru Jio says Nimakh maye chaar koont fir aaye - which means In an instant it can go to the four corners of the world and come back)

However man jite jag jeet. If you can win over your mind (and make it work for you the way you want - then you will win over the whole world)

The battle is going on within the self and the mind - which does not want to listen.

[sikhni777]

Here is a punjabi film which deals with this topic well. Have not seen all of it, but it looks very interesting and educative too.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

DAY 19 - 20/01/2016

I woke up in a much better mood today but for the wrong reasons. I think in the back of my mind I keep reminding myself about the stag dos and then having to tell myself that I'm not drinking and I would have to be sober. The likelihood of me being sober on one of the stag dos is rare! Im trying really hard not to think about them but its hard not, I'm in a few group chats on watsapp that keep going off about them

My manager has asked me to go to Guernsey for work for a couple of days in Feb. When I've been there before its usually been a piss up! I go with my cousin (also my team leader) and we make the most of our expenses by getting hammered with colleagues out there. I don't want to go and put myself in that environment but I have to for work. When it comes down to my cousin, even though he's a lot older, I can put him in his place and have done before so its not him I'm worried about. Im not to happy about the colleagues over there arranging for a 'meal' which is more of a session than a meal. There all going to be disappointed and talking about me when I turn the drinks down and have an early night but I just need to stop caring about what people think

Also, I don't know if I mentioned this before but my works are doing a pub quiz thing on the 29th. I originally said that I would go and not drink but I told them today that I couldn't go at all. I don't want to waste my money or time in a place like that, If I am going on the stag dos, I need to save some money. I got questioned all day on why I wasn't going but I just told them I had something to do. I got the usual banter and my manager is still convinced that I'm lying lol Im 100% not going though

I do plan things on the weekend penji but I get the jobs done so fast that I'm still left with hours of free time lol Im one of them people that get bored very easily. And no, I don't sing when shabads are playing, I try to listen to shabads before I go sleep but I don't understand them. I put my headphones and try hard to figure out what they are saying but I don't understand it

Thats a good point about marriage, I need to sort myself out before I ruin someone else's life too

@SikhingInTheMaking, how addicted were you before you started making the small changes?

[MisterrSingh]

What's clear from this thread is how bad sangat can destroy a person's life. Bad sangat + inability to say No = recipe for disaster. Tough times.

[dallysingh101]

What's clear from this thread is how bad sangat can destroy a person's life. Bad sangat + inability to say No = recipe for disaster. Tough times.

It's more complex than that. Being born into particular types of families means that certain mindsets/habits can become strongly entrenched before you even know the game being played. Subtle but strong pressure from work environment too - a lot of people fall for this one, male and female. The amount of asian girls I see out and about with a bunch of (obviously leering) office goray (who seem to have prestigious jobs) is not small. Last year I was passing through the city and saw one girl like this, she was with a bunch of honkys that were going to a restaurant around Shoreditch (a trendy area), I was just reading and minding my own business, (they were a bit loud, they had an American with them - and you know what they are like!), anyway she said (in an exasperated fashion that I'm pretty sure was subtly directed to me):

"Ahhhh, here we go, I bet you I'm going to be the only Indian there - again!"

Whiteys were grinning.....

Point is, that there are a lot of pressures on people to mix with tossers. I'm not excusing it, but failing to recognise this truth is straight retarded.

I saw a lot of people (male and female) at uni who would start the year all shareef and ish, and be wild drinking/drugging/clubbing mofos by the end of their first year.

People often don't even recognise the destructive side of their company until it is too late. Could happen to anyone.

That's not excusing anything though. If we had a half decent society ourselves, it would work wonders to combat this sh1t.

[dallysingh101]

I agree with this. My family have always been big drinkers. My dad is constantly drinking, as are the rest of my family. The first drink I ever had was one that my Dad had given me at the age of 16, he was proud of me and I remember my mum flipping out and shouting at him saying 'your proud that you gave your son a drink!?' bless her. Noone in my family or extended families keep kesh either but I cant solely blame them for how I turned out. It was a number of factors, that was just a minor one

Good that you recognise that!

Time to start steering your own course now. You've taken the first, most important step in that direction. Keep the momentum up.

[Not2Cool2Argue]

You can also try reading/doing paath of SGGS here http://www.srigranth.org/servlet/gurbani.gurbani?Action=Page&Param=1

This has shorter explanations, then the book your reading.

Also try to take personal hukamnama. Its when u ask guruji a question or tell him ur problems and he responds back. Here: http://www.simran.info/hukamnama/cyber.html

Or here:http://fateh.sikhnet.com//Sikhnet/Register.nsf/CyberHukamnama!OpenForm