Jump to content

Coping With Infertility


Guest hsingh
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest hsingh

Just a quick update, so the initial treatment was unsuccessful and we start IVF next month. I would say its getting easier with time, and we're especially appreciating what we do have rather focusing on what we don't have. The universe is a big and beautiful place and we are just a insignificant part of it so why worry. 

Adoption has been mentioned and we did look into orphanages in Punjab, not sure how it works but we feel a bit uncomfortable choosing a child over there and giving them a better life yet leaving the other kids behind so we agreed to do more for orphan kids over there rather than just adopt only one.

Its a great shame theres not much mention/support in our community of such issues. I was speaking to a Jewish friend who mentioned that the jewish community in london have support groups at the synagogue to help with those who have gone through miscarriages/infertility/death of a partner/adoption etc.... 

Waheguru

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest SinghB

I have several of my friends who are going thru this painful journey. Typical Punjabi family survives on family support (not always but most of the time). 

The 'Sikh' support group is non-exiting as our community tends to bury such things under the carpet.

Fertility such as ivf treatment needs a big support from those who been thru such programs. 

One of my friend went thru expensive IVF program but it was not successful. Support is needed from all sides- family first then friends and then sangat.

I also strongly believe that all type of support will be only achieved from Waheguru ji. 

Bhaenji above mentioned that we need to trust and obey maharaj's hukam.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In reply to the above two posts of HSingh Ji and SinghB Ji, you are right Gurdwaras do not offer this support service, but it's the same with any other issue, the support just isn't there in our community. 

I came across this, not sure if it be of help to anybody though, but I'll put it on. 

http://www.infertilitynetworkuk.com/support/support_groups_6/england_wales

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, MisterrSingh said:

I'm not sure I'd want it to be, bhenji, especially with the Punjabi trait of chugliyan, lol. 

Maybe it's about time there was some change then.  Because I'm sick of tired of hearing that same old chuglian dialogue Paji. 

May wake up a few people to reality too, as what's there to be so proud about doing chuglian of people not being able to have kids or those that have problems. 

This backwards desi thinking of treating childless couples differently needs to stop and where better to start than the Gurdwara? 

The chuglian wale need to learn from it too. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On August 13, 2016 at 11:05 AM, Guest hsingh said:

Just a quick update, so the initial treatment was unsuccessful and we start IVF next month. I would say its getting easier with time, and we're especially appreciating what we do have rather focusing on what we don't have. The universe is a big and beautiful place and we are just a insignificant part of it so why worry. 

Adoption has been mentioned and we did look into orphanages in Punjab, not sure how it works but we feel a bit uncomfortable choosing a child over there and giving them a better life yet leaving the other kids behind so we agreed to do more for orphan kids over there rather than just adopt only one.

Its a great shame theres not much mention/support in our community of such issues. I was speaking to a Jewish friend who mentioned that the jewish community in london have support groups at the synagogue to help with those who have gone through miscarriages/infertility/death of a partner/adoption etc.... 

Waheguru

 

 

 

Having gone through a similar situation, I would say that there is no support from the community at all. If anything, people will make you feel worse. My best support were the online discussion forums where I could talk to others in the same situation, and of course having faith in Waheguruji helps the most. 

Wishing you good luck with your IVF cycle! 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
On 15/08/2016 at 5:07 AM, BibaKaur said:

Having gone through a similar situation, I would say that there is no support from the community at all. If anything, people will make you feel worse. My best support were the online discussion forums where I could talk to others in the same situation, and of course having faith in Waheguruji helps the most. 

Wishing you good luck with your IVF cycle! 

 

same here I wish you both strength  and patience but you can help yourselves by looking closely at your diet and eliminate all processed foods and max out on fresh fruit and vegetables, nuts and seeds for healthy fats   to help with folates and other vital nutrients. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...

Hi there I am going through the same thing was wondering if the couple were able to conceive? This year my husband and I havd had 3 failed fertility treatment s including ivf last week. We have both just decided to leave it in god's hands now to decide if we will be blessed with children.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

hi there nnkd,

just randomly looked back at this thread today and noticed your post. Crazy how quick a year has gone.

We completed our first cycle of ivf 4 weeks ago but it was unsuccessful. This was a nhs cycle so from now on we will have to fund any future ivf ourselves. Seeing another negative on the stick was pretty devastating, we only had 1 embryo transferred which was grade 1 but it just didn't happen. We're taking a break from it for a few months and then possibly going to try again.  

listening to kirtan and paath helps a lot and does sooth the hurt, but i tend to come back to earth with a bump when around others. 

IVF only has a 33% chance of success per cycle so don't be disheartened and don't forget to live/love your life and hopefully things will work out for you and your partner.

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • lol dal panth Panj told me explicitly not to associate with Vadhbhag Singh Sodhi followers!
    • We have lamp (or Jyot) the pure unscented candle for a reason. Traditionally, Patis used candle light (jyot), so they could read SGGS in darkness. Light, elec didn't exist. Dhoop is used to attract the "Good spirits" but also keep freshness where Maharaj will be.  Interestingly and coincidentally I heard Sakhi a few dsys ago. During Dasa Pitha's time these souls were roaming the Earth and even Sangat noticed. Maharaj asked them "y u here?" They replied during recitation of SGGS and making Degh they didn't bother lighting candle. THAT WAS THEE ONLY REASON NO GATI WAS GIVEN TO THEM!!!  AUTHENTICITY NOT CHECKED I heard once on YT like 2 days ago.  If u apply dhoop in one room of your house twice a week u will notice a difference esp in the smell and freshness of that room. 
    • Sangat ji, With the hot weather as per Guru's Hukm, how can we look after our kes?  First of all the beard! Working in Construction, factory and any other heated environment I UNDERSTAND! At my workplace it's over 32 degree celcius and sometimes we have to lift 20kg ALL! DAY! My tips, regularly shampoo the beard during ishnan. APPLY OIL! The technique of applying oil is by rubbing it thoroughly in the roots. Pay attention to the noise esp on the chin. You will hear this "crosh crosh" noise. Keep rubbing oil until u can't hear it no more! This means the oil has blended in properly.  Second tip on beard, keep an extra kanga in your pocket. Every two, three hours give your beard a proper comb down to get rid of any sweat or stickiness. SECOND BENEFIT! Do this all 12 months every single day your beard will look like it's been professionally groomed. TRY IT! People will ask you "What gel u use? How can yer beard be naturally like that?" You can say all I use is coconut oil or whaeva oil but just comb the beard every 2-3 hours for a minute.  As for the kes, morning time get rid of all the gronjra (or knots - forgotten English word), in the morning. However, during evening comb down make sure you get rid of small remaining gronjra and comb yer hair nice and straight. You will feel soooo so relaxed. Yes our hair will go unnoticed due to Dastar, but our hair demands time and self grooming!So proper combing down, spending a good 15-20 mins most evenings is an absolute MUST!  Most evenings I let my hair down and cover hair with my parna for 2-3 hours so it gets to relax from the tying up.  FINAL TIP! We are Sikhs so we keep fighting and remember this! The tradition of Dastar and uncut hair started in India, where the weather is twice as hot. Everytime we bring this thought in the mind, Guru ji will bless us and make us feel cooled down by a notch.  Fateh.       
    • Been so much nindya and attacking Shastarvidiya since the 2000s, however if we look at gatka now it's still mostly as poor and poorly taught as it was back then, still morris dancing moves and still behzti moves in BBC shows about sikhi and vaisakhi. If people were going to attack shastarvidiya, wouldn't have made sense to improve gatka instead and make it more effective? Additionally, the Nihang Singh presence has improved greatly now, and the cracks within the the SGPC and affiliated jatha jathebandis are showing more greatly as panth becomes more knowledgable with dasam bani and itihas day-by-day, so much gyaan which was lost within panjabi sikhs during colonial times. In the 2000s, the groups were able to talk down this bani and  gyaan by associating it with  RSS and hindus, brahminwaad etc. Not working so well now is it? However with gyaan it would be also good for us to try and preserve our martial arts and keertan vidiya as well! More and more crazy keertan videos are coming out from jatha members that are being made fun of and making sangat annoyed and upset, on tiktok and instagram reels.  
    • Author Posted April 24   On 4/21/2025 at 2:43 PM, ipledgeblue said: sirr should not be nanga because keski is usually worn.   Sikhs can sleep nanga-sirr if they choose to . Being from Punjab, almost every Sardaarji i know (amritdhari or not) sleeps/showers with their hair uncovered. I don't think Guru Sahib asked us to wear Dastar to sleep and I don't think it is in SRM.   The idea of "keski being worn to sleep" is cos in Bollywood films (Bachna Ae Haseeno) Sikh characters usually tie a gol parna when sleeping since the actor's usually Hindu. So they gotta cover his head somehow or he'd have cut hair. Same reason Diljit wore a pagg to bed in the El Sueno vid. Only time they didn't do that was in Gadar with Sunny Deol which just looked odd tbh   What in the world? What sikh or even a decent human would base their knowledge of their culture or religion on a movie industry, that too Bollywood?  Believe me, no sikh ever said, I must cover my head becasue an actor did so in a movie. I've been doing it all wrong, I must start covering mh head because the sikh in that movie did.  Just because every panjabi and sardaar you know, does something, also doesn't make it right..  Follow the guru. And if you have a medical condition, then exemptions can be made.  Just admit it, because of my medical condition, I am not able to follow this rehit. Why are you getting everyone else to drop to your level?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use