Jump to content

Punishment methods for kids


Guest Singh
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest Gagan

As a kid I only got beat on bottom when I did something real bad, like getting excluded for fighting at school ?.

Otherwise my parents used to pull my ears hard when I misbehaved.

Only you can decide what’s best for your kids! Even if you beat them its out of love to stop them behaving bad next time. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
Guest Guest12344

My parents use to use the count down method. They would also use to put me in bathroom with the lights off! LOL I use to get so scared and then I restrained from misbehaving.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think giving them a slap or smack with a chapal is ok now and then but not always!  My dad used to have serious anger issues and he used to get it out on me! It was really bad! I would never treat my own kid like that ! I'm in my 20s now and still remember it like it was yesterday.  So it's important not to get to hard on them! Especially if you can't control your anger.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you don't want bad behaviour from your kids, don't feed it with your own bad behaviour. If a kid is having a screaming mental fit, don't shout at them as that just feeds their anger. I'd suggest just walk away nonchalantly like you aren't going to react to such behaviour. The child will run out of steam before you. Do that a few times and they will realise that screaming etc won't get them what they want and that you won't conceed. Do it consistently and you'll be surprised by the results. Yes, It does work, as I do it with my kids. Angry shouty kids most of the time reflect angry shouty parents. I know its hip to see kids as 'equals' to the adults, but if you want a peaceful life you have to let them know who is boss, set boundaries, and that you can't be manipulated by their behaviours.  Oh and don't think this will make them not 'love' you because you aren't caving in, they will still do so (actually even more)

Look at it like energy, if you react to angry energy with 'anger' you feed the anger. The best way to deal with it is to deflect it (not absorb it).

We all have stories of the chappal whacks, but if it was so effective why did we get whacked so often? After a while it didn't hurt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh
1 hour ago, imhosingh said:

If you don't want bad behaviour from your kids, don't feed it with your own bad behaviour. If a kid is having a screaming mental fit, don't shout at them as that just feeds their anger. I'd suggest just walk away nonchalantly like you aren't going to react to such behaviour. The child will run out of steam before you. Do that a few times and they will realise that screaming etc won't get them what they want and that you won't conceed. Do it consistently and you'll be surprised by the results. Yes, It does work, as I do it with my kids. Angry shouty kids most of the time reflect angry shouty parents. I know its hip to see kids as 'equals' to the adults, but if you want a peaceful life you have to let them know who is boss, set boundaries, and that you can't be manipulated by their behaviours.  Oh and don't think this will make them not 'love' you because you aren't caving in, they will still do so (actually even more)

Look at it like energy, if you react to angry energy with 'anger' you feed the anger. The best way to deal with it is to deflect it (not absorb it).

We all have stories of the chappal whacks, but if it was so effective why did we get whacked so often? After a while it didn't hurt.

Good points. You know, I am usually very reluctant to draw anyone's attention towards any research studies, especially Psychology - and in this case child psychology - studies because something like 95% of such published studies around the world use 'white Europeans' as their subject matter and so their 'white centric' findings are usually pretty much irrelevant to our culture. As such, I'm always seeking information away from this euro-centric bullc*ap and sometimes you really do find what you are looking for in the most unexpected of places. In terms of how to raise a child....a GOOD, OBEDIENT, WELL-BEHAVED child, I think we all need to learn from the Mayan people native to Central America, mostly Guatemala. Their children are extraordinarily good and studies have show that the reason for this is the way the parents get the kids involved at an early age. From an early age, when a child sees his or her mother cooking or father working, the child naturally wants to join in. Here in the west, mother will say no because it's dangerous or there'll be a mess made in the kitchen and father will also make excuses - usually on 'elf and safety' grounds and say no. In Mayan culture however, parents understand that more than anything else in the world - i.e. more than fun, toys and play - the child really desires to be helpful and do what mummy and daddy are doing. Instead of saying 'no' the Mayans actively look at the child and say "come child.....come help" and never ever shout of chastise when things get broken or go wrong. The result is the most well behaved, happy and helpful children in the world.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest student
On 5/18/2018 at 3:48 AM, Guest Singh said:

Any guidance in Sikhi about parenting and punishing kids for bad behaviour? How did your parents punish you as child for being bad? Or how do you punish your kids? With strict Punjabi parents, my brother and I always got proper punishments. Normally 5 mins of spanking with a karachi (wooden spoon). Looking back it did hurt but I’m glad my parents did it because it stopped me behaving bad. And I used to behave really bad!

My kids are 8 and 11. I know other options available like grounding or banning TV, but sometimes it’s not enough?

Most probably your kids learned their delinquent behaviour from you as their parent! Children learn to misbehave when they watch their parents misbehaving. Make sure you are not bad mouthing or beating your wife on regular basis. They will learn the same without necessarily displaying what they’ve learnt now for fear of repercussions but they will definitely display it later when they are adults. Domestic violence, alcoholism,  sexual promiscuity/adultery/cheating behind one’s spouse with white blondes/gambling and generally staring at pretty women of other races with very common among Asian/Punjabi Sikh makes. If you enjoyed being  spanked as a kiddo and experienced lots of sexual gratification from being spanked then go ahead with it and carry out spanking your next generation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My parents just changed the whole atmosphere. We got yelled at and lectured. Then we were doing chores in silence while my mom would recite all the past misdeeds we did. The whole bad mood stayed until our parents forgot. That's why having lots of siblings helped cuz one of them was able to do something to change the subject/mood. 

We didn't dare touch the TV or have fun. It was like when we got in trouble, it was a funeral house. All silent and grim. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/22/2018 at 12:23 AM, GuestSingh said:

Anyone ever squat with arms under legs and holding ears? Maybe it should come back....

Punjabi parents give love and discipline in equal measures

873A3AA8-1F12-4577-B80B-47BF12924532.jpeg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Sakhee Kaur

This issue of "punishment" is really important.  I think most of us caregivers (including our parent's generation) completely missed it. What's a better teacher is actually natural consequences that evolve from bad behavior that are greater lessons than any punishment we can give. The kid on the receiving end of the punishment usually ends up thinking that they were unfairly treated and how miserable their life is OR worse: they think that they are worthless and deserved what they received and begin to suffer low self-esteem and from low self-worth as a result. 

 

https://www.sikhfamilylife.com/2018/05/how-to-stop-a-tantrum-and-get-kids-to-listen-a-cheat-sheet/

This post on Sikh Family Life doesn't exactly cover punishments, but does cover what to do to help elicit cooperation while also enhancing skills that every parent wants their children to learn (good decision-making, initiative, critical thinking skills, etc.). Note: the post addresses cooperation with younger children, but the same principles apply with other children, it just looks differently. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • lol dal panth Panj told me explicitly not to associate with Vadhbhag Singh Sodhi followers!
    • We have lamp (or Jyot) the pure unscented candle for a reason. Traditionally, Patis used candle light (jyot), so they could read SGGS in darkness. Light, elec didn't exist. Dhoop is used to attract the "Good spirits" but also keep freshness where Maharaj will be.  Interestingly and coincidentally I heard Sakhi a few dsys ago. During Dasa Pitha's time these souls were roaming the Earth and even Sangat noticed. Maharaj asked them "y u here?" They replied during recitation of SGGS and making Degh they didn't bother lighting candle. THAT WAS THEE ONLY REASON NO GATI WAS GIVEN TO THEM!!!  AUTHENTICITY NOT CHECKED I heard once on YT like 2 days ago.  If u apply dhoop in one room of your house twice a week u will notice a difference esp in the smell and freshness of that room. 
    • Sangat ji, With the hot weather as per Guru's Hukm, how can we look after our kes?  First of all the beard! Working in Construction, factory and any other heated environment I UNDERSTAND! At my workplace it's over 32 degree celcius and sometimes we have to lift 20kg ALL! DAY! My tips, regularly shampoo the beard during ishnan. APPLY OIL! The technique of applying oil is by rubbing it thoroughly in the roots. Pay attention to the noise esp on the chin. You will hear this "crosh crosh" noise. Keep rubbing oil until u can't hear it no more! This means the oil has blended in properly.  Second tip on beard, keep an extra kanga in your pocket. Every two, three hours give your beard a proper comb down to get rid of any sweat or stickiness. SECOND BENEFIT! Do this all 12 months every single day your beard will look like it's been professionally groomed. TRY IT! People will ask you "What gel u use? How can yer beard be naturally like that?" You can say all I use is coconut oil or whaeva oil but just comb the beard every 2-3 hours for a minute.  As for the kes, morning time get rid of all the gronjra (or knots - forgotten English word), in the morning. However, during evening comb down make sure you get rid of small remaining gronjra and comb yer hair nice and straight. You will feel soooo so relaxed. Yes our hair will go unnoticed due to Dastar, but our hair demands time and self grooming!So proper combing down, spending a good 15-20 mins most evenings is an absolute MUST!  Most evenings I let my hair down and cover hair with my parna for 2-3 hours so it gets to relax from the tying up.  FINAL TIP! We are Sikhs so we keep fighting and remember this! The tradition of Dastar and uncut hair started in India, where the weather is twice as hot. Everytime we bring this thought in the mind, Guru ji will bless us and make us feel cooled down by a notch.  Fateh.       
    • Been so much nindya and attacking Shastarvidiya since the 2000s, however if we look at gatka now it's still mostly as poor and poorly taught as it was back then, still morris dancing moves and still behzti moves in BBC shows about sikhi and vaisakhi. If people were going to attack shastarvidiya, wouldn't have made sense to improve gatka instead and make it more effective? Additionally, the Nihang Singh presence has improved greatly now, and the cracks within the the SGPC and affiliated jatha jathebandis are showing more greatly as panth becomes more knowledgable with dasam bani and itihas day-by-day, so much gyaan which was lost within panjabi sikhs during colonial times. In the 2000s, the groups were able to talk down this bani and  gyaan by associating it with  RSS and hindus, brahminwaad etc. Not working so well now is it? However with gyaan it would be also good for us to try and preserve our martial arts and keertan vidiya as well! More and more crazy keertan videos are coming out from jatha members that are being made fun of and making sangat annoyed and upset, on tiktok and instagram reels.  
    • Author Posted April 24   On 4/21/2025 at 2:43 PM, ipledgeblue said: sirr should not be nanga because keski is usually worn.   Sikhs can sleep nanga-sirr if they choose to . Being from Punjab, almost every Sardaarji i know (amritdhari or not) sleeps/showers with their hair uncovered. I don't think Guru Sahib asked us to wear Dastar to sleep and I don't think it is in SRM.   The idea of "keski being worn to sleep" is cos in Bollywood films (Bachna Ae Haseeno) Sikh characters usually tie a gol parna when sleeping since the actor's usually Hindu. So they gotta cover his head somehow or he'd have cut hair. Same reason Diljit wore a pagg to bed in the El Sueno vid. Only time they didn't do that was in Gadar with Sunny Deol which just looked odd tbh   What in the world? What sikh or even a decent human would base their knowledge of their culture or religion on a movie industry, that too Bollywood?  Believe me, no sikh ever said, I must cover my head becasue an actor did so in a movie. I've been doing it all wrong, I must start covering mh head because the sikh in that movie did.  Just because every panjabi and sardaar you know, does something, also doesn't make it right..  Follow the guru. And if you have a medical condition, then exemptions can be made.  Just admit it, because of my medical condition, I am not able to follow this rehit. Why are you getting everyone else to drop to your level?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use