Asking someone what faith they belong to

[mahandulai]

On 1/11/2019 at 9:31 AM, Big_Tera said:

So I recently went on a date with hindu girl. I already had an inkling she was hindu due to the wrist thread she had on. But as it was a date kind of thing and to make conversation I asked her what faith she is. Ie Sikh or Hindu? I thought it was a perfectly reasonable question and not offensive to ask. However she seemed to take offence of why I asked her this question. I had no intention of causing her offence or making her feel uncomfortable. I replied that I dont care what faith she is and was only making conversation.  it was a date kind of thing. So dont I have a right to ask what faith she is? 

Anyway a few months down the line I met some guy at an IT course that I am doing as an evening class. He's a muslim and we have small chats now and then. To be honest I dont know him that well. Anyway I dont usually wear a Kara. We got talking and low and behold he asked me what faith I was and if I am Sikh from Punjab. I think he had an inkling I am Punjabi but was not sure what faith I was due to not wearing a kara and the fact Ive never mentioned anything to do with faith.

At the time I did not take offence and thought it was someone who was just being inquisitive. I think he presumed I was either Sikh or Hindu but was not sure which one. But after I thought about it. I did feel it was kind of rude or odd to ask someone you hardly know what faith they belong to? It got me thinking maybe it is offensive to ask people their faith if you hardly know them. I dont usually ask anyone what their religion they are. As its something that is personal and we feel sensitive and protective about it. But this was a date thing and so I thought it was harmless to ask. But she obviously did not like the question ans felt a bit awqward. It got me thinking how a harmless question can actually cause offence to people. So maybe we should not ask anyone what faith they are if we hardly know them?

 

 

 

 

what kind of primitive questions are these

next

[Big_Tera]

To add a new dimension.

I have asked a few people a very long time ago what religion they belong to. I must admit as soon as I spoke those words I did feel uneasy and regretted asking. Religion is a very sensitive topic and to ask someone can feel uncomfortable and put people under the spot. 

 

 

[Big_Tera]

On 1/11/2019 at 3:03 PM, puzzled said:

Yeah true religion is a tricky subject in the UK. People are hesitant to talk about it or even bring the subject up, let alone ask someone which religion they belong to.  

I think it's even harder for white people to bring it up among ethnic people.

If someone brings it up at work in the staff canteen, it's always a bit awkward and people sweat a little and are careful of what they saying haha 

I'm always open to people asking me anything though 

A few weeks ago at work this young white guy who was covering someone asked me if I'm a religious sikh or if Im a sikh who dates and drinks, because he said he knows a really religious sikh girl who wears a turban and doesn't date, and then he knows many sikhs who date white people and drink, I just said I'm the traditional type and I don't date or drink.  So some people are open to asking questions I guess 

Its whole someone asking what religion you are and then when you reply. Their face looks all awkward when they dont get the response they was hoping for. 

 

[MisterrSingh]

33 minutes ago, Big_Tera said:

Its whole someone asking what religion you are and then when you reply. Their face looks all awkward when they dont get the response they was hoping for. 

 

It's akin to asking which political party someone votes for or belongs to. It's simply not done in polite conversation with people you barely know. It's something my dad told me when I was like 7 or thereabouts, lol. Politics and religion: topics about which I'd think twice before discussing with friends or family. Random people I met recently? Forget about it. 

[S1ngh]

religion/dharam is a very private thing. I treat my religion very close to me and i don't involve in any religion discussion with non-sikhs. I try not to go into anything except the very basics. 

[Sukhvirk1976]

6 minutes ago, S1ngh said:

religion/dharam is a very private thing. I treat my religion very close to me and i don't involve in any religion discussion with non-sikhs. I try not to go into anything except the very basics. 

That’s a bit weird?

[BhForce]

On 1/11/2019 at 1:31 AM, Big_Tera said:

So I recently went on a date with hindu girl.

That's your first problem. You do something that Guru ji said not to do, and then you wonder why you have problems.

You might as well say, "I tried to get into a pub with full prakash beard and turban and kirpan, but the bouncer didn't let me in." The problem is you're doing something you're not supposed to do.

Or, "I went to a kebab shop and they had all halal meat. What should I do?" 

If you're just talking with a girl in your class, that's one thing (especially in a group setting). "Dating" is another.

Let me just ask you: What was the point of the date?

We don't date, we just get married. If you're trying to identify marriage partners, why would you date someone you're not going to marry (a non-Sikh) in the first place?

[Sukhvirk1976]

20 minutes ago, BhForce said:

That's your first problem. You do something that Guru ji said not to do, and then you wonder why you have problems.

You might as well say, "I tried to get into a pub with full prakash beard and turban and kirpan, but the bouncer didn't let me in." The problem is you're doing something you're not supposed to do.

Or, "I went to a kebab shop and they had all halal meat. What should I do?" 

If you're just talking with a girl in your class, that's one thing (especially in a group setting). "Dating" is another.

Let me just ask you: What was the point of the date?

We don't date, we just get married. If you're trying to identify marriage partners, why would you date someone you're not going to marry (a non-Sikh) in the first place?

Some people date and some people marry and some of them people are sikh.. 

So 

(and this sounds like the name of a satirical movie) 

Some Sikhs Do Date 

[S1ngh]

1 hour ago, BhForce said:

That's your first problem. You do something that Guru ji said not to do, and then you wonder why you have problems.

You might as well say, "I tried to get into a pub with full prakash beard and turban and kirpan, but the bouncer didn't let me in." The problem is you're doing something you're not supposed to do.

Or, "I went to a kebab shop and they had all halal meat. What should I do?" 

If you're just talking with a girl in your class, that's one thing (especially in a group setting). "Dating" is another.

Let me just ask you: What was the point of the date?

We don't date, we just get married. If you're trying to identify marriage partners, why would you date someone you're not going to marry (a non-Sikh) in the first place?

Wait, Big_tera is a Singh but not Kaur? 

[S1ngh]

1 hour ago, Sukhvirk1976 said:

That’s a bit weird?

Nothing weird but depends on our own spiritual stages. Back in days I used to hold  sikh awareness events at my local college/ university. In fact sikhsangat was first started as to bring awareness of Sikh dharam over the Internet in 2001. Now, at such stage where I feel that I need to work on my own sikhi rather than preaching/talking outside..