'I'm divorced, so Sikh men don't want me'

[puzzled 4,305]

yeah a few years ago i started watching the news especially the bbc but it didn't take long for me to realize that its all bs!   bbc is probably the most biased ones out there,  cant believe some people still take it seriously 

they also feed you with a lot of liberal feminist new age bs    

who remembers that 1984 sikh story doc that they made with sonia deol, they made sikh men look like terrorists and extremists. and then recently they made one on alcoholic sikh men 

its all biased bs and brainwashing 

[puzzled 4,305]

at least the metro and sun are entertaining to read even though it is all bs  lmao 

[dallysingh101 7,282]

You know what. There is a breed of Sikh female who just seems constantly vexed and wants to put the boot into males of the community because of bad experiences. 

Okay I understand this. But if I did the same because I've had x amount of bad experiences with SIkh females - it would just be weird. 

 

Top of the list is this sister: Jasvinder Sanghera

 

[Ranjeet01 3,828]

3 hours ago, puzzled said:

i think once you her age its hard for you to gel with your in laws because your almost middle aged yourself 

women who marry in their early 20s or mid 20s are more likely to gel with their inlaws because they still young and have a lot to learn 

Women generally find it hard to gel with their in law's. 

But her real problem isn't because she is a divorcee, it is the reality she is facing that as a woman in her late 30's,  she is going to find it hard to marry a guy because of her age.

She knows she may not be as pretty as when she was in her 20's.

She left it for 5 years before looking again into her 30's.

Her grandmother being an older wiser woman knew instinctively that there is a shelf life for women in the marriage market and that looks aren't going to last forever. 

Some of the posters here may think that age does not matter but if there is a 35 year old man and he had a choice between a 38 year old woman or a 30 year old woman, it's a no brainer which one he would prefer. 

Men are attracted to youth because biologically we are looking for fertility in women.

[puzzled 4,305]

1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

You know what. There is a breed of Sikh female who just seems constantly vexed and wants to put the boot into males of the community because of bad experiences. 

Okay I understand this. But if I did the same because I've had x amount of bad experiences with SIkh females - it would just be weird. 

 

Top of the list is this sister: Jasvinder Sanghera

 

That sums up most feminists 

[dallysingh101 7,282]

43 minutes ago, puzzled said:

That sums up most feminists 

Nah but these apneean seem to think apnay are the worst and other men just fine and dandy. Feminists seem to hold all men in contempt. 

[Ranjeet01 3,828]

16 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Nah but these apneean seem to think apnay are the worst and other men just fine and dandy. Feminists seem to hold all men in contempt. 

That is their hypergamy kicking in.

They consider apnay as lower value and other men as higher value. 

[dallysingh101 7,282]

9 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

That is their hypergamy kicking in.

They consider apnay as lower value and other men as higher value. 

Yeah, but masculinity counts. I've seen pretty apneean with some white office boy start to twitch and look confused when they've passed by a more masculine apna. 

They have a moment of doubt. Sometimes they try and actually physically distance themselves from the gora. It's funny to watch their and their boyfriends reactions. 

Plus our own bundhays historic chaaploosian towards goray and outright celebration of this (alal jagsaw) doesn't exactly help the girls psychologically does it? That sort of lines them up for this. 

[Ranjeet01 3,828]

29 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Yeah, but masculinity counts. I've seen pretty apneean with some white office boy start to twitch and look confused when they've passed by a more masculine apna. 

They have a moment of doubt. Sometimes they try and actually physically distance themselves from the gora. It's funny to watch their and their boyfriends reactions. 

Plus our own bundhays historic chaaploosian towards goray and outright celebration of this (alal jagsaw) doesn't exactly help the girls psychologically does it? That sort of lines them up for this. 

Hypergamy is always built on doubt.

These apneean would think , "could I get a better detail" in that case.

This does not really much to do with our bundeh,  it's just the way women are hard wired. They use the "men do it to" as a way to deflect. 

 

[Wicked Warrior 215]

I’ve known a couple of divorced Sikh women who remarried with Sikh husbands. It’s harder but not impossible. Yes, as you get older it’s harder - most people in their late 30s and early 40s will have settled into marriage and kids so there’s going to be a much smaller pool of potential matches. 

Also completely agree that the older you are when you get married, the more “set in your ways” you become, which is probably the conflicts arise within families. 

[puzzled 4,305]

On 3/16/2019 at 7:52 PM, dallysingh101 said:

You know what. There is a breed of Sikh female who just seems constantly vexed and wants to put the boot into males of the community because of bad experiences. 

Okay I understand this. But if I did the same because I've had x amount of bad experiences with SIkh females - it would just be weird. 

 

Top of the list is this sister: Jasvinder Sanghera

 

She's a Christian now   you can even see a cross in her necklace. 

[KhoonKaBadlaKhoon 797]

Some points made here. BUT, the older generation definitely is backwards and will not want a divorcee for their divorced man-child lol. And a lot of "men" unfortunately still follow exactly what their parents say. Let's not be so quick to try and find ways to blame her. 

[MisterrSingh 8,407]

10 hours ago, KhoonKaBadlaKhoon said:

Some points made here. BUT, the older generation definitely is backwards and will not want a divorcee for their divorced man-child lol. And a lot of "men" unfortunately still follow exactly what their parents say. Let's not be so quick to try and find ways to blame her. 

It's possible to respect one's parents and live up to commitments as a son without caving into every half-baked, destructive idea that crosses their minds.

I know a Singh who threw away an ostensibly "perfect" marriage with a fantastic young Singhni because she had the temerity to give birth to 2 baby girls. His mother instigated a campaign of propaganda and division between her son and the wife, which eventually led to him throwing his wife and his baby daughters out of the house. This is an Amritdhari family through and through. Absolute stupidity. I don't understand how men can be so feeble and generally ignorant to the point where they can't understand they're being manipulated either by their wife or their mother. The clown gets taken to India by his mummy who gets him remarried to someone from there... and this is where it gets hilarious: the first child his second wife gave birth to is also female, lmao. The old bibiya at the Gurdwara were saying things like, "Why doesn't the mother throw her out, too?" to her face!!! Savages!

[Ranjeet01 3,828]

1 hour ago, MisterrSingh said:

It's possible to respect one's parents and live up to commitments as a son without caving into every half-baked, destructive idea that crosses their minds.

I know a Singh who threw away an ostensibly "perfect" marriage with a fantastic young Singhni because she had the temerity to give birth to 2 baby girls. His mother instigated a campaign of propaganda and division between her son and the wife, which eventually led to him throwing his wife and his baby daughters out of the house. This is an Amritdhari family through and through. Absolute stupidity. I don't understand how men can be so feeble and generally ignorant to the point where they can't understand they're being manipulated either by their wife or their mother. The clown gets taken to India by his mummy who gets him remarried to someone from there... and this is where it gets hilarious: the first child his second wife gave birth to is also female, lmao. The old bibiya at the Gurdwara were saying things like, "Why doesn't the mother throw her out, too?" to her face!!! Savages!

We live in a community where the source of authority is handed to the female.

This has to change. 

[MisterrSingh 8,407]

1 hour ago, Ranjeet01 said:

We live in a community where the source of authority is handed to the female.

This has to change. 

The first step is to challenge the perception that women can only ever be victims, and victims exclusively at the hands of males at that. The people who push the narratives designed to demonise and cow Asian / minority men are not interested in nuance and reality.