Missing Sikh women in East London - keep eyes open

[TuhadaDaas 92]

I'm not trying to be rude but most of you guys on here talking about "women these days" sound like incels.

I don't know why some people are so obsessed with what women are doing, go out there be the alpha male and any girl will like you. It's very simple Singhs need to man up. Most Singhs want a pretty and feminine girl so similarly girls like confident manly men, alot of Singhs are not up to scratch its simple as that. 

 

There is alot of incel like <banned word filter activated> shaming going on - you can not hope to know what someone is like from a Facebook post or photo, hell even the people you see up close like those in school, you don't know the full story.

 

What makes me laugh is how quickly people think they can sum up the complexities of someone else's life. On top of that you guys aren't even happy when a girl moves on and criticisize when they do finally settle down as covering up or whatever - it's called growing up and developing as a person, quite a normal thing.

 

Maybe if we the kaum wasn't full up of people who have nothing better to do than discuss other people's supposed love lives on the internet and actually understood normal human behaviour of making mistakes, being immature and developing, we actually wouldn't have people looking elsewhere.

 

Finally, there never was this "ideal respectable woman", not in any era. Hanky panky has been going on since the beginning of time, read charitrpakhiyan.

[AjeetSingh2019 212]

5 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

I'd say the family ballsed it up when it became acceptable in that household for their daughter to wear a skirt that barely covers her groin. 

It's true. And something most Sikh parents ignore because most Sikh parents themselves think it's cool and modernable to dress our children like that. I remember my niece on her first birthday was dressed up like a barbie by her parents. Thats where it starts. 

If I ever had a daughter I wouldn't let her be semi nude like this. And be available for men. 

Sikh parents of girls act like pimp nowadays 

[AjeetSingh2019 212]

2 hours ago, TuhadaDaas said:

so similarly girls like confident manly men, alot of Singhs are not up to scratch its simple as that.

And why do you think so. 

Vegetarianism ?

[Redoptics 199]

7 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

I know Malcolm X came to Smethick to lend support to brown folk (including apnay) when racism was openly hardcore there. So he must have cared a little. 

Black lives matter,  they dont give a cuff, I'm not racist btw I have black friends

[puzzled 2,764]

10 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

How common is that though. Kids not turning out exactly like their parents want. 

I don't think any kid turns out exactly how their parents want them to be. But some turn out close enough while others the complete opposite. I think the most that parents are asking for these days is for their kids to marry within the religion and that's it!  And then they tell them to move out and get on with their life. 

[MisterrSingh 3,810]

13 hours ago, Redoptics said:

F.u.c.k a black baby look after your own before others, because how much they want to pretend they are Sikhi they are not, again sorry if I offend, you lot need it, like all the malcom x's , 2pacs give a cuff about u

Calm down, Singh. This isn't an anti-black or anti-anyone else issue. It's something that we as community need to tackle. Outsiders are always going to resort to opportunism when issues like these are rampant amongst our own. That's tribalism for you.

[Harditsingh 43]

nothing wrong with marrying a black girl i think personally aslong as shes down with sikhi. if u put ur sikhi first  before your punjabiat it should be no problem.  most materials are now found in english so kids not knowing punjabi is not really excuse ofcourse to read GGS DG ETC u need to learn punjabi but that can be done in schooling 

[learningkaur 69]

11 hours ago, TuhadaDaas said:

I'm not trying to be rude but most of you guys on here talking about "women these days" sound like incels.

I don't know why some people are so obsessed with what women are doing, go out there be the alpha male and any girl will like you. It's very simple Singhs need to man up. Most Singhs want a pretty and feminine girl so similarly girls like confident manly men, alot of Singhs are not up to scratch its simple as that. 

 

There is alot of incel like <banned word filter activated> shaming going on - you can not hope to know what someone is like from a Facebook post or photo, hell even the people you see up close like those in school, you don't know the full story.

 

What makes me laugh is how quickly people think they can sum up the complexities of someone else's life. On top of that you guys aren't even happy when a girl moves on and criticisize when they do finally settle down as covering up or whatever - it's called growing up and developing as a person, quite a normal thing.

 

Maybe if we the kaum wasn't full up of people who have nothing better to do than discuss other people's supposed love lives on the internet and actually understood normal human behaviour of making mistakes, being immature and developing, we actually wouldn't have people looking elsewhere.

 

Finally, there never was this "ideal respectable woman", not in any era. Hanky panky has been going on since the beginning of time, read charitrpakhiyan.

My thoughts exactly.

Its clear pardeep is lost, but the amount of stories some people have mentioned in this thread, eg my neighbours daughter did this, my friends brother did this?!!.... I don’t know whether to laugh or feel sorry for the posters... it reminds me of an old woman gossiping drinking tea who’s got nothing better to do- but instead it’s young singhs saying this. As if they have just climbed out from a rock and don’t realise this stuffs always been going on. It happens - even in India. 

Its one thing to talk about sikh issues and how to resolve them, but it’s like they have forgotten or chosen to ignore the part where we aren’t meant to judge/gossip... and online behind a screen is no different to in person. Waheguru still sees everything and knows what you are thinking too.

[puzzled 2,764]

1 hour ago, Harditsingh said:

nothing wrong with marrying a black girl i think personally aslong as shes down with sikhi. if u put ur sikhi first  before your punjabiat it should be no problem.  most materials are now found in english so kids not knowing punjabi is not really excuse ofcourse to read GGS DG ETC u need to learn punjabi but that can be done in schooling 

You can have kids with who you want to  have kids with.  where are these invisible rules of what is allowed to do and what your not allowed to do! 

[puzzled 2,764]

People are muddling punjabi issues with sikh issues, this female going missing really wasnt a sikh issue and nothing to do with sikhs! , is she even sikh! No shes punjabi! Why are these issues being dragged into sikh problems is beyond my understanding. 

That's why people like her and the rest whatever they do dating, fcking, breaking up, has got nothing to do with us!! They can do whatever they like! They are just your average punjabis, why link it to sikhs! 

Dragging their issues into sikh problems is dragging extra baggage around that has got nothing to do with us!

 

 

[puzzled 2,764]

I also despise the word "apne" that's disgusting.  I'v never used that word, I just refer to them as punjabi. Someone is not my "apna" just coz we come from the same part of the world!  The word apna is as horrible as the word desi!

My apna are my sangat, people in rehit following maryada  people who I look up to!

The rest of them are just whatever they are, they are not bound by any maryada or religious discipline and are free to do whatever they want. Need to stop dragging them around with us!  Draw a clear line. 

[MisterrSingh 3,810]

11 hours ago, TuhadaDaas said:

I'm not trying to be rude but most of you guys on here talking about "women these days" sound like incels.

When someone prefaces their argument with "I'm not trying to be..." it's usually a precursor to them wanting to convey the exact opposite sentiment they're at pains not to state outright.

The "incels" comments sounds very Reddit-ish. A classic shaming tactic. Are you a Redditor? You smell like a Redditor. Nobody likes Redditors.

11 hours ago, TuhadaDaas said:

I don't know why some people are so obsessed with what women are doing, go out there be the alpha male and any girl will like you. It's very simple Singhs need to man up. Most Singhs want a pretty and feminine girl so similarly girls like confident manly men, alot of Singhs are not up to scratch its simple as that.

People are "so obsessed" with what women are doing for many reasons, and it's something that's proving to be a worldwide phenomena amongst groups that wish to retain their values, traditions, and their identities in the face of overwhelming odds being espoused for many decades by certain groups who wish for the world to be populated by mutt-like, rudderless, confused beings without roots and identities.

The "alpha male" argument is an enticing one, and I admit I myself was actually quite convinced by its merits for a few years, but when I began delving into it from a different angle, I found myself being repulsed by the very idea of it.

In essence, it transfers the entire burden of the relational transaction (including the initial pursuit) between a man and a woman onto the shoulders of the man while entirely bypassing the merits (or not) of the female in question; in other words, the male is encouraged to ignore the fact of whether the woman is WORTH pursuing; we're encouraged not to analyse her qualities and her merits, but just accept her for breathing. Apparently, that's enough. This "ideal" of woman is packaged as perfection, and if you fail to entice such a female, it's because there's some serious deficiency in your masculinity.

What if a masculine, strong-willed man doesn't want a loose-moralled, shallow harlot?  Does that make him a beta male?

11 hours ago, TuhadaDaas said:

There is alot of incel like <banned word filter activated> shaming going on - you can not hope to know what someone is like from a Facebook post or photo, hell even the people you see up close like those in school, you don't know the full story.

I agree, but one can obtain a fairly accurate guestimate from such indicators.

11 hours ago, TuhadaDaas said:

What makes me laugh is how quickly people think they can sum up the complexities of someone else's life. On top of that you guys aren't even happy when a girl moves on and criticisize when they do finally settle down as covering up or whatever - it's called growing up and developing as a person, quite a normal thing.

Wonderful sentiments, and again I agree to a certain extent, but in the case of the Sikh women you're passionately defending it's simply not as cut-and-dry as you're making it out to be.

This "moving on" you describe is usually something that's isn't a result of personal growth and introspection. It's a desperate, final move resulting from a debilitating fear; fear of being discovered, or fear of being labelled, or a general dread of being having done wrong. It's usually the last roll of the dice in an attempt to conceal an act (or a sequence of acts) that's spiralled out of control.

Her "settling down" is not through choice, for if it were, she would choose to settle down with the type of companions to whom she granted access to her... innermost sanctum, lol. This "settling" is exactly that: it's settling for second best in her mind at least.

The fun, rollercoaster ride of hedonism and degeneracy is over, and suddenly that empty, hollow, galling sensation gnawing away at her conscience screams at her to turn over a new leaf either through heartbreak or because she realises she was fed a lie. Then, miraculously, she finds God! Then she begins quoting out-of-context Guru Nanak quotes, and begins lecturing Sikhs on religious directives. What a transformation!

A truly introspective person would arrest their fall BEFORE hurtling over the cliff. Sikh females tend to realise the direness of their situation only once they've launched themselves off the cliff, and they're sprawled on the rocks miles below.

11 hours ago, TuhadaDaas said:

Finally, there never was this "ideal respectable woman", not in any era.

Maybe not in your family or social circle, but I assure you they do exist. Maybe look harder, and not assume your personal situation is the standard?

Overall, I have HUGE problems with Sikh males, too. I'm not one for double standards. I believe if Sikh males want the "best" Sikh female, they must exhibit the behaviour and decorum they seek in a female companion. I have nothing but contempt for the contemporary Western Punjabi or culturally Sikh male. I'd be more than happy to contribute my opinions on that subject if someone were to open a thread on that particular topic.

[jkvlondon 5,212]

20 hours ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Its hard to predict. 

On one hand, sharam is the basis for dharam. And sharam is completely absent in the western liberal mindset. 

On the other hand, if sikhi is to become global and to have an impact, we need to get with the times. 

Western sikhs have more of an impact and reach. Like bhai jagraj singh and 3H0 and sikh awareness society. They can provide solutions to modern problems like depression/ill health (yoga) and grooming (awareness) and relate to younger audiences.

While the old sharam dharam ppl are barey surviving, can barely keep their families on the right path and are sanctamonius and judgemental. Have the keep to urself attitude and are always in a defensive position. Not ppl u can rely on jn panthic matters like grooming etc. But at least the parents are doing their duty and raising kids who can speak panjabi and are dharmi (moral)

 

sorry I disagree with your analysis that bhai Jagraj singh or the 3HO ever did anything to counter ill health or grooming (yes Veer ji did mention it on a couple of videos but it was to bemoan the state of affairs in the panth , no solutions) . 3HO are a joke , they make videos that add to the moral confusion not lessen it ... (see Guruka Singhs socalled advice vids)

if you have values and you try to keep them -you a re judged to be judgemental ? no ish that's called bibek budhi using your discernment from a Gurmat perspective , there is zero wrong in it . Its the loosey goosey amoral types who labels those people as 'santicmonious/judgemental'  and the accused never answer back to keep things calm (not because they agree the accusers have a point). 

[PuzzledToo 43]

1 hour ago, MisterrSingh said:

Then, miraculously, she finds God! Then she begins quoting out-of-context Guru Nanak quotes, and begins lecturing Sikhs on religious directives. What a transformation!

Are you a psychologist MisterrSingh?Great observation.I've seen this exact scenario many times before.

[MisterrSingh 3,810]

12 minutes ago, PuzzledToo said:

Are you a psychologist MisterrSingh?Great observation.I've seen this exact scenario many times before.

No, my friend, I'm just an observer of the absurdities and foibles of human nature.