Jump to content

Recommended Posts

8 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

There is a infantileness about our people. 

They seem to be into their extended adolesence even into their thirties and forties. 

This is the age to take on more responsibility and to show more maturity but they expect their parents in their 60's and 70's to do all the mature stuff.

Normally, there is a right of passage but it does not seem to be there.

You know why this behaviour has been exacerbated in our people in the West? Relative financial success and subsequent status attainment has overridden all other equally important issues pertaining to the development of character, ethics, and behaviour standards. As long as a person is raking in the cash, nothing else seemingly matters. He could be an absolute cretin without any redeeming traits, but if he's onto a nice earner, nobody is on his case to become a better, whole personality. Nobody says, "No, that's wrong. You shouldn't be doing or saying things like that" when someone like that exhibits the worst traits of their personality.

Instead, I see, those who benefit directly from his graft (parents, wife) are at pains to downplay and excuse his behaviour with a laugh, because they're on the gravy train, and they don't want the ride to end. This then enables such people to continue as they are because they aren't challenged. These types of Punjabi males are essentially overgrown children. They're about as deep as a shallow puddle.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/10/2020 at 9:46 AM, puzzled said:

Yeah its not acceptable. I mean if guru nanak ji was actually sitting there in physical form would they still dress like that? I hope not! 

point is all Guru Sahiban are there in that moment in darbar , it is that lack of insight that makes it easier for these foolish show-offs do beadbhi of that sacred space .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

point is all Guru Sahiban are there in that moment in darbar , it is that lack of insight that makes it easier for these foolish show-offs do beadbhi of that sacred space .

They call it a "book"  I'v had Punjabis call it a "book"  honestly none of these people care, its just a fancy ceremony for them where they show of their outfits. When the bride walks in that's seen as her "moment" her "big moment" when all eyes are on her.  They don't understand it in the slightest. I saw a video as the bride was walking into the diwan hall the groom stood up and started clapping for her, and the girls in the sangat were saying "awwww thats so cute, he stood up for her"      fck off. 

these idiots just defeat the whole purpose and 5 months later they filing for divorce. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/10/2020 at 11:04 AM, Ranjeet01 said:

There is a infantileness about our people. 

They seem to be into their extended adolesence even into their thirties and forties. 

This is the age to take on more responsibility and to show more maturity but they expect their parents in their 60's and 70's to do all the mature stuff.

Normally, there is a right of passage but it does not seem to be there.

they have been made that way by the iron vice like grip on adult roles by the bazurg . looking at forty year olds and saying halle niaana hai is totally bizarre especially given in our history kids were expected to be responsible , ready to protect their families in the absence of their fathers and male relatives , women were expected to know gurbani and teach to kids . The haumai of the elderly and the spoilt narcissism of the middle aged means the youth are also doomed to drag the standard even lower.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, puzzled said:

They call it a "book"  I'v had Punjabis call it a "book"  honestly none of these people care, its just a fancy ceremony for them where they show of their outfits. When the bride walks in that's seen as her "moment" her "big moment" when all eyes are on her.  They don't understand it in the slightest.

these idiots just defeat the whole purpose and 5 months later they filing for divorce. 

might as well do a bank transfer to the grooms household  without the wedding  , its all business transactions .

How about making the parents and the couple sign legal documents that state no money/goods  was demanded or transferred between parties and if they divorce within ten years then both families have to give daswand of all income for rest of life . Wonder how many would still want anand Karaj.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Years ago when i was a teenager we went to a wedding in Birmingham, it was my cousins husbands side of the families wedding, i went Birmingham with them but stayed at my other cousins house while my my parents and sister went to the wedding. And as usual when they came back i asked them how was it, and they said the brides mum fainted at the Gurdwara because she was up all night getting her hair and makeup done so she didn't get any sleep!  just fell flat at the Gurdwara, so they dragged her to the side by the legs to get her out of the way.

If the mothers are doing this themselves then what hope do the daughters have? Wheres the Sikhi in all of this? What did they understand from the ceremony? 

as for the old bird being dragged by her legs like a dead goat it must of been embarrassing when she woke up i'd imagine.

There's a lot of mutton dressed as lamb at Punjabi events these days. No amount of slap is gnna cover that earthquake. 

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We in USA and Canada need to do more to stop this beadbi of Maharaj. We need to stop interfaith Anand Karaj like they did in UK. Need to get the gurdwaras on board with stopping the interfaith marriages. Make a list of Gurudwaras that do it and how to stop them from doing it in the future.

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, puzzled said:

They call it a "book"  I'v had Punjabis call it a "book"  honestly none of these people care, its just a fancy ceremony for them where they show of their outfits. When the bride walks in that's seen as her "moment" her "big moment" when all eyes are on her.  They don't understand it in the slightest. I saw a video as the bride was walking into the diwan hall the groom stood up and started clapping for her, and the girls in the sangat were saying "awwww thats so cute, he stood up for her"      fck off. 

these idiots just defeat the whole purpose and 5 months later they filing for divorce. 

These weddings are like Royal Ascot for our ladies.

It is just one giant peacock show.

If they could get away with hats and tiaras they would.

The Anand Karaj traditionally did not have a lot of people and most of the people who go to them would rather be at the reception. 

I think what has happened is that typically in the west the darbar hall is a much bigger. In Punjabi typically they have never been that large.

I think (my wacky theory), our gurdwarae in the west have inadvertently  have taken the design of the church.

The darbar hall become long and rectangular like a church hall with Maharaj being right at the end of the darbar hall like a church alter. 

This has made the Anand Karaj into a Church Wedding Service and you try to fill in as many people in as possible. The only reason a lot of people come is for the chat and mithai. 

Most darbar halls in Punjab and probably rest of India are more square in shape and Maharaj tends to be more centrally located. 

I think darbar hall for anand karaj's should be much smaller (which with many gurdwarae who have extra halls, they generally are) but they should may limit the number of people (with Covid-19 this maybe the case).

They need to cut back on those speakers (they are completely irrelevant)

Also do we need ragis at the Anand Karaj? Most Anand Karajs traditionally in Punjab never had them, it seems to be another western invention.

Another western invention is the brothers helping the bride. Is there a reason for this?

Typically an Anand Karaj should last 15-20 minutes not over 2 hours.

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Ranjeet01 said:

I think (my wacky theory), our gurdwarae in the west have inadvertently  have taken the design of the church.

The darbar hall become long and rectangular like a church hall with Maharaj being right at the end of the darbar hall like a church alter. 

This has made the Anand Karaj into a Church Wedding Service and you try to fill in as many people in as possible. The only reason a lot of people come is for the chat and mithai. 

Most darbar halls in Punjab and probably rest of India are more square in shape and Maharaj tends to be more centrally located. 

Do you think the floor plan of the darbar hall in Gurdwareh on Indian soil mimic the layout of Harmandir Sahib if we were to look at it from above? It's similar to what you're describing. The slightly off-vertical (nearer to the back) location of the building itself / Guru Granth Sahib Ji, while the fairly long-ish middle path leading up to the building / the location of Guru Granth Sahib Ji. That's interesting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
26 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

Do you think the floor plan of the darbar hall in Gurdwareh on Indian soil mimic the layout of Harmandir Sahib if we were to look at it from above? It's similar to what you're describing. The slightly off-vertical (nearer to the back) location of the building itself / Guru Granth Sahib Ji, while the fairly long-ish middle path leading up to the building / the location of Guru Granth Sahib Ji. That's interesting.

It is an observation. 

What you will also notice the traditional gurdwara has three exits, one at the back behind Maharaj and two on the side.

Because Maharaj tends to be more centrally located people will matha tek not once at the front but go towards the matha tek behind Maharaj and matha tek again.

There is more space to manoeuvre. 

In the west, it looks odd.

In Punjab and in India (you will notice on the program on TV of Harimandir Sahib), you notice people sitting in front, behind and around the sides.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

It is an observation. 

What you will also notice the traditional gurdwara has three exits, one at the back behind Maharaj and two on the side.

Because Maharaj tends to be more centrally located people will matha tek not once at the front but go towards the matha tek behind Maharaj and matha tek again.

There is more space to manoeuvre. 

In the west, it looks odd.

In Punjab and in India (you will notice on the program on TV of Harimandir Sahib), you notice people sitting in front, behind and around the sides.

Yeah gurdwara structure in Pubjab is different to here, especially the ones in the pinds. It's a square and not rectangle. And yeah people sit around maharaj on the sides and the front. 

But the newer designs are like the gurdware here! They are replicating the gurdwara in the uk and making massive halls with long church like aisle. 

Theres something very charming and warm about the little old gurdware in the pinds. 

The several entrances to the darbar hall is also interesting. 

In india the anand karaj only has the main relatives turn up, like chacha, thaiya, mama massi etc    even cousins don't bother turning up or some of the male relatives lol! 

Here you have like 80 people at your anand karaj! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you really need your cousins cousins, your cousins in-laws, your 3rd, 4th or 5th cousins, Your puas in-laws, massis-inlaws, "family friends" you havnt spoken to for over 10 years, really is ridiculous, inviting the relatives of you're relatives. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 minutes ago, puzzled said:

Do you really need your cousins cousins, your cousins in-laws, your 3rd, 4th or 5th cousins, Your puas in-laws, massis-inlaws, "family friends" you havnt spoken to for over 10 years, really is ridiculous, inviting the relatives of you're relatives. 

It is done so that you don't offend anyone.

The minute one relative and you leave out another relative,  you will be accused of picking favourites. 

I saw something that may start to get popular. 

I had a relative that passed away abroad. Because of covid-19 and the fact that funeral being the next day , a lot of people could not attend.

However, I saw the funeral on live stream.

I think this could be the future. 

I think with weddings that could happen.

If you got a cousin who is getting married in the UK, and you have relatives all over the world, you send a link and watch the Anand Karaj.

People send invites on whatsapp or whatever other social media platform these days. 

I think this maybe the way forward 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Ranjeet01 said:

It is done so that you don't offend anyone.

The minute one relative and you leave out another relative,  you will be accused of picking favourites. 

I saw something that may start to get popular. 

I had a relative that passed away abroad. Because of covid-19 and the fact that funeral being the next day , a lot of people could not attend.

However, I saw the funeral on live stream.

I think this could be the future. 

I think with weddings that could happen.

If you got a cousin who is getting married in the UK, and you have relatives all over the world, you send a link and watch the Anand Karaj.

People send invites on whatsapp or whatever other social media platform these days. 

I think this maybe the way forward 

Yeah they do that with weddings, we saw someones in India like that, it was live on youtube and i just connected it to the TV. i prefer that tbh, rather than attending the wedding just sit back, grab some pop corn and watch it live in your living room. 

I didn't know they did that with funerals too!  i'v never been to a funeral.

I remember some people used to video funerals! Years and years ago when i was like 6 years old our neighbors gave us a funeral video of one of their relatives! and they showed the dead body and zoomed in and out of the face and then showed the fire part! I don't understand why people used to record funerals!  

I think people in India are very used to seeing the dead and its quite normal, while here abroad death and the dead are kept out of site, its almost like it doesn't exist. 

I don't think kids born in the west should be exposed to the dead, death etc because we just don't live in a country where death "exists" its all hidden here. While in India its different, kids be playing on the street and people will carry a dead body on their shoulders etc its different there. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...



  • Topics

  • Posts

    • That is pretty crazy...but in reality its peanuts around $160 million...whereas check out the Christian Vatican, Muslim Jewish Hindus lobby therio in the BILLIONS....we need panthic Billionaires.. But the SGPC can still do alot even if they used a fraction of that in Punjab, help the shaheed families, pay for lawyers those stuck Sikhs Jail. the farmers an..end the Christian missionaries and list goes on...but they'll all corrupt ...even better if we had better leaders create a investment fund where we can multiply the money and use it for panthic causes..like Khalsa Investment etc Either way, we should focus does in West become financially successful and creating a  lobby like rest have..money talks!
    • oh yes, and also I remember there was unification of Jathas under Nawab Kapur Singh, unification in Dal Khalsa and then split under Budha Dal and Tarna Dal. Do we need another reunification, maybe absorb some of the colonial era jathas into the dals? If there was a sarbat Khalsa held by dal Khalsa to do this, if we are able to  get the Budha Dal leader to be respected again like Nawab Kapur Singh, Jassa Singh Ahluwalia and Akali Phoola Singh, then these jathe could be absorbed into Dal Khalsa and keep the anti-dasam views and corrupted maryadas in-check. Anyone unwilling to join  would be treated like maybe the Phulkian states, they were the ones who kept out of Dal Khalsa right? might have got the states wrong but I am sure there were some Singhs who didn't join Dal Khalsa during Misl era and Ranjit Singh kingdom era.
    • I know a guy who makes a lot of money who’s in samadhi continuously. Doesn’t matter what you do
    • The first part of that is good. You should mass send this out to everyone you know on Facebook etc 
    • Vaheguru ji ka khalsa Vaheguru ji ki fateh Oh no.Thats a mistake to let them in your house.They probably had bad intentions for you.For example they are jealous or something and by letting them in your house it's like giving them permission to do black magic on you.I think you mentioned before that you get scared to go to a room to do Amritvela?If this is the case please do not fear it.If you let it stop you from going to do Amritvela,then it will stay longer.If you do your 5 banis during Amritvela, it wont be able to live in that environment. You also mentioned that you drank something from them?Honestly,not to scare you but they could have done black magic to the drink.So I would give 2 solutions based on my experience.Firstly, as soon as you get the chance take amrit with your daughter.Secondly do about 5 Chaupai Sahib a day.I will give you an example as to why you should do 5 Chaupai Sahib.Something like that has happened to me before.It went to an extent where when I am in a room,something would start knocking the door and the door would kinda move.So I did 2 Chaupai sahib for only 1 day and then did ardas to Guru ji for protection.After just that 1 day of 2 Chaupai sahib  I have never experienced it again.So if you do 5 Chaupai Sahib for awhile,the spirit will leave your house.Chaupai Sahib is very powerful.Why I'm telling you to do 5 Chaupai Sahib is because in your case it's a slightly bigger problem since it tried to come for you but it will go away.Dont worry and just have faith in the Creator.He will protect his Gursikhs. Edit:You also mentioned "This specific spirit".Does this mean that theres more than 1 spirit in your house? Bhul Chuk Maf🙏
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use