Alcoholism And Marriage Etc

[Guest worried person]

well i dont drink, eat meat or etc nothing dodgy bout me etc BUT ma dad does drink heavily and never mixes with relatives etc........and its got me worried that no decent sikh family will ever want their daughter to marry into a family with a father-in-law who drinks......this has got me very worried and gets me angry at my dad alot.....

[xkaurx]

hmm most of the people in my family drink but there still decent but hmm why dont you talk to your dad about it and see what he says because hes the one who has to make the change right?

[D Kaur]

First and foremost i'm glad that you aware of the issues that may occur when it's time to settle down. But you will be married one day. If you Dad hasnt resolved his drinking issues by then be aware of how scary his behaviour would be for someone new to the family.

Having said that, he is your Dad, it it wasnt for him you wouldnt be here. And im sure you get on with great when he's sober, and as difficult as it's going to be you need to work on getting him to stop drinking, or atleast cutting it down. There is no point in getting angry at him after the event, you need to try and prevent it.

And i know thats difficult to do, but you need to try.

You'll find your perfect partner soon, when you do, look after her.

[Anonymous_kaur]

juss talk 2 ya dad...n sort it out !! mke a chnge !!

bttr 4 both of u !!

[Guest original poster]

i have tried EVERYTHING over the last 10 years! to help but he is beyond help i havent got the energy anymore or the time! i hav ma own life too.............i sometimes wish he was dead!!!..........

[scottie]

at the end of the day, you have to fight your battles

Maharaj does tell u in japji sahib that if you follow guru sahibs words, then you will save your familly members as well

concentrate on bringing you jivan up, make yourself a walking talking poster for a Gurus Khalsa, inspire change in others!!

[sherlsurj]

coem on he's ur dad. my dads no where near perfect dnt even see him anymore but i dnt wish he died. look u shudnt worry about the marriage thing if people wanna judge u 4 ur dad thats their prob. its u there gonna marry at the end of the day not ur dad.

[kaur_khalistani_lioness]

i have tried EVERYTHING over the last 10 years! to help but he is beyond help i havent got the energy anymore or the time! i hav ma own life too.............i sometimes wish he was dead!!!..........

i believe u when u say u have tried everything. we all try to help our parents or relatives who are in that state. it is very hard to make someone stop doing something they been doing it for years. we know it's an addiction/disease, thus he(or anyone) can't just stop in one day. it is hard to go cold turkey when it comes to alcoholism.

there are places that can help...but the person has to be willing as well. maybe find out if there is a place where u can go and learn to deal with an alcoholic parent? i have read about it few years back that there are such organizations ...depending on where u live.

about marriage...i think there are many parents (father-in-laws) etc who drink...(even in some cases mom-in-laws) so why u worried about that?

it is about u not about anyone else.first thing is u need to stop worrying about how ur dad's going to effect ur marriage...and concentrate on ur inner-self.

yes it is stressful and hard to not think about whats going on in the family, but think about teh things u have to offer to ur wife and ur life=)

about wishing that ur dad was dead...would it solve anything?

keep urself away and do what u need to do in life.(do ardas)

ur concern is valid..im not sayig what u worrying about is something punjabi families dont look into, but there are many who look at the groom to be or bride to be and not their family. u need to stop worrying and think about if u are worthy of a "decent" family thinking of u becoming their princes' husband.

hope this helps jio

bhul chuk muaff karni!

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

[Hardeep__singh]

well i dont drink, eat meat or etc nothing dodgy bout me etc BUT ma dad does drink heavily and never mixes with relatives etc........and its got me worried that no decent sikh family will ever want their daughter to marry into a family with a father-in-law who drinks......this has got me very worried and gets me angry at my dad alot.....

Do not worry, you will get married to prince charming, who will understand everything, needn't to be worried, always pray to Guru Sahib, once you have, your dad will never look back to alcohol ever again, do it from your heart and most things will be put right. All the best!

[Jasy]

well i dont drink, eat meat or etc nothing dodgy bout me etc BUT ma dad does drink heavily and never mixes with relatives etc........and its got me worried that no decent sikh family will ever want their daughter to marry into a family with a father-in-law who drinks......this has got me very worried and gets me angry at my dad alot.....

Do not worry, you will get married to prince charming, who will understand everything, needn't to be worried, always pray to Guru Sahib, once you have, your dad will never look back to alcohol ever again, do it from your heart and most things will be put right. All the best!

virji..this is not a bhenji...its a veerji...so his princess charming! not prince charming!