Mixed marriages are better than pushing Sikhs away.

[West London Singh]

I truly think that mixed marriages in a Gurdwara are not a threat to Sikhi but rather they help us in the modern age. When a Sikh gets married to say a Hindu or a Christian in a church or a registrar then that Sikh is losing a major connection he or she has to their Guru Sahib. However when that Sikh marries in a Gurdwara they bow down to Guruji and take a vow to be with their new life partner this makes sure their relationship stays strong.

. Are we now really saying that we want to push them away and then many more along with them.

If we say only a Sikh can marry another Sikh in a Gurdwara then how many of these supposed Sikhs actually qualify?

What on earth are you going on about ? A Sikh can't get married in a Christian Church because the Church does not allow it. A Sikh cannot get married in a Muslim Mosque because the Mosque does not allow it. A Sikh cannot get married in a Jewish Synagogue because the Synagogue does not allow it. All of these faiths have the same rule as us. However none of those faiths have the sheer number of insecure people that we have. All those faiths have people with common sense. They understand that religion and places of worship are not something to make a mockery of. You're either religious or you ain't. If you're religious than you follow your faith and get married in the place of worship. If you ain't you get married in a registry office. Its not rocket science. Its actually really quite simple. These mixed marriages in gurdwaras have absolutely nothing to do with religion and faith. They have everything to do with keeping up appearances. Old Mr Singh and Mrs Kaur, who couldn't even teach their son or daughter enough respect for Sikhi to choose a Sikh partner need the community to see that their daughter is not out of control and has not secretly run off with her lover. They need to turn a potentially negative rumour situation around. Thus Mr Singh and Mrs Kaur feel the need to ensure that the whole community sees their daughter having a wedding in a gurdwara. The whole thing is a disgusting charade. The shameless Mr Singhs and Mrs Kaurs are making mugs out of us. Never mind smashing their windows I'd like to smash their faces in. Gurdwaras being used as charades to paper over their loss of honour. What kind of people would misuse gurdwaras in such a way ?

[Mehtab Singh]

After marriage...

Sunday morning...

Bittoo: Jenni darling, get dressed, I have ironed your salwar kameez, we are running late for the Gurdwara.

Jennifer: wait, I thought you were coming to church with me today?

Bittoo: but honey, we talked about this remember? One Sunday church, one Sunday Gurdwara?

Jennifer: yes but today I need to make a confession at church.

Bittoo: but I want to get Ardas done for my new car.

Jennifer: well, can’t you wait until next week?

Bittoo: can’t you?

Jennifer: ok this is getting nowhere…

Bittoo: ummm-hmmmm…

Jennifer: well you could pray for your car at the church as well, God is One, isn’t that what you’ve always said?

Bittoo: I suppose…

At church…at the end of the service

Bittoo: JO BOLAYYYYYYY SOOOOOO NIHHAAAAAALLLLLLLL…………..SAAAAAAATTTT SRIIIII AKAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!

[N30S1NGH]

Well it depends on family dynamics and its relative, i can personally speak for my own wife side of family. My sister in law married a gorrah and have kids both indian sounding names. Both gorrah and my sister in law are not religious at all, you know typical types. However, his son seems more intrigued by kirtanis doing kirtan with tabla than stuff in the church. My son learns tabla, he shows him, you can tell he is slowly getting intrigued by music aspect in Sikhi.

At the end, regardless whoever it is (punjabi interracial kids or raw punjab kids)- if guru maharaj want someone close to him, he will through his own mysterious ways.

[singh135]

So two Sikhs who smoke, drink etc are happily allowed to marry in a Gudwara but when a Sikh who wants to stay within his or her religion and wants to get the blessing of their Guru and their partner is happy to do the same we should push them away?

sanjsingh makes a very good arguement. Well said.

[VanHelsingh]

Well it depends on family dynamics and its relative, i can personally speak for my own wife side of family. My sister in law married a gorrah and have kids both indian sounding names. Both gorrah and my sister in law are not religious at all, you know typical types. However, his son seems more intrigued by kirtanis doing kirtan with tabla than stuff in the church. My son learns tabla, he shows him, you can tell he is slowly getting intrigued by music aspect in Sikhi.

At the end, regardless whoever it is (punjabi interracial kids or raw punjab kids)- if guru maharaj want someone close to him, he will through his own mysterious ways.

You know what to do, Singh. Reel in the young boy with the music then... BOOM! Before you know it he joins the Khalsa and he's releasing his own kirtan CD on T-Series. You know it makes sense!

[chatanga]

2. What is the likelihood that some gora or other non-Sikh will come to Sikhi because he was allowed to have an Anand Karaj against the teachings of Guru Gobind Singh as well as the Akal Takht?

Are we willing to go against Guru Gobind Singh and Akal Takht in the hope that some non-Sikh will come to Sikhi? For me there is more chance of number 1 happening than number 2 and plus with number 1 we still adhere to the Guru's instructions.

Guru Gobind Singh Ji said that a Sikh can only marryhis daughter to a Sikh, so think of all the marriages that have happened where a girl has married a "mona" if there ever was sucha athing in Sikhi, so if these families are going against Guru's hukam (ie today, the vast majority of the panth) what difference does it make if a non-sikh marries a Sikh?

I know, i mean personally know, Sikhs who smoke and do drugs etc, who know NOTHING about Gurmat, who have had no problem getting married in gurdwaras, but a month ago, i was talking to a couple, girl was sikh, guy was a gora, but we refused to marriage in the gurdwara, because of Sri Akal Takht Sahib Sandesh, but inside i couldnt help feeling this was wrong, really wrong.

If we were only doing anand karaj for amritdhari sikhs as per tradition, then fine, but we aren't. We bend the rules to suit our sikh-born relatives, but not non-sikh born people. You cant have it both ways, either only amritdharis get anand karj or everyone should be able to.

Those sikhs in mixed marriages who are refused anand karaj, will they be more open to becoming Sikhs in the future, or those who are accpeted, wll they be more open to becoming Sikhs in the future?

think about it.

[N30S1NGH]

This issue is quite complex. I have written on this issue on forum intensively in the past in hopes to strike a right balance. It all comes down to main sticking points below:


a) Do we totally put people (boh parties- sikhs marrying non sikhs) off by banning them to get married in gurdwara- we potentially loose generations of potential sikhs coming from potential sikh marry non sikh or both. And if we do ban these marriages at gurdwara then how do you draw a line with monaie getting married who are arguably also mocking traditions of anand karaj by not following the guru's path? If we want to fix a issue, lets fix it fully- not band aid fix or do half arse job. Lets not pick and chose on beadhi. Beadhi is beadhi whether its done by sikhs marrying non sikhs performing /mocking anand karaj ceremony or whether its done by punjabi monaie performing/mocking anand karaj.

Or

b) Do we provide options/alternative options to both sikh marrying non sikhs/punjabi monae having wedding i.e - provide alternative options such as chaplain service providing generic vow in presence of sri guru granth sahib ji, without loosing sanctity of anand karaj, so that atleast - oh gurdwara- (sangat/free concept of langar/seva/kirtan/katha) naal ta joraie rehan..you never know when maharaj does kirpa among in sangat in gupti roop bring someone closer to him.

It's not up for me to decide. I think the issue is complex lets not act in haste without looking into larger/bigger ramifications/implications. We need sarbat khalsa gurmatta meeting on this to strike a right balance.

[TheFancyBanana]

b) Do we provide options/alternative options to both sikh marrying non sikhs/punjabi monae having wedding i.e - provide alternative options such as chaplain service providing generic vow in presence of sri guru granth sahib ji, without loosing sanctity of anand karaj, so that atleast - oh gurdwara- (sangat/free concept of langar/seva/kirtan/katha) naal ta joraie rehan..you never know when maharaj does kirpa among in sangat in gupti roop bring someone closer to him.

well this idea does make sense. the family can have a wedding in the gurdwara and wont feel ashamed. but the anand karaj and guru ji wont be disrespected. just have vows such as "do you take him as your gharwali and gharwala" and boom marry them.

[Mehtab Singh]

Heyyyyy, that copyrighted idea is mine!!!!!

"Bittoo puttar, tenu Jennifer apni janaani de roop ch jachdi aa?".."Hanji Babaji"..."Jennifer, does you like the Bittoo for husband?"..."I do"..."changa fer matha teko".

[MrDoaba]

I dont know why everyone is getting stressed out for.....most Anand Karaj ceremonies arent valid anyway because they are not performed with a Larivaar Saroop and the Laavan arent done in Raag!

:tongue2: Hahaha!