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Intercaste Marriage - Jat Sikh Girl Vs Ramgharia Boy


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We need to realize how her parents are seeing this issue. Try to see this situation in their point of view.

1. Relationship - No matter how liberal i maybe but the day i find that my daughter is in some sort of relationship while hiding it from me or my wife is that day my trust will shatter into million pieces. If one see nothing wrong in pre-martial relationship then did you tell them the very first day you started this relationship. Parents raised you and to me they truly deserved to be kept in loop from day 1 regarding such an important step of your life.

2. Different country/culture - Living in west and east is totally different culture. Most of the folks in west are more into honesty - we rarely cheat or disobey law. While in India, it is totally different situation. People (even good) cheat, lie and they are the most dishonest person you can ever find. Not all are bad, but it takes your extreme luck to find a good person and that too in sikhi. Maybe this is what her parents are thinking. Maybe they are thinking that a person from india "kurri pata" in order to come abroad. Considering in this kalyug, you see, read and hear so many such cases.

Boys parent reaching out to your other relatives is a very dangerous path and this shouldn't be happening at any stage. This is accomplishing nothing but putting more fuel to fire.

Parents got caught off-guard. They may or maybe not against the caste lifestyle thing but it seems like they are mostly stuck with the shock that they got blindsided and their ego might be the reason that they are not changing their mind. Yes, you are adult and you have full right to make your decision and that you should but do consider the long term effect of your decisions.

I found my partner with the help of my friend and i told my parents from day one. if they didn't agree to the rishta then i wouldn't go for it. In my viewpoint they at least deserves this respect.

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@garch Well to me having a bf means i have chosen a partner with whom i m ready to spend rest of my life. I dont see anything wrong or against sikhi.

Caste shouldn't even be an issue ! Parents should be thankful that their child is intending to make a life commitment with a sikh partner, as it could easily have been a muslim, hindu, gora..rastafar

how the heck has she let her parents down? her parents dont care about Sikhi as they believe in the anti-Sikh caste system. her husband to be is a Kesdhari and they haven't done anything before marr

We need to realize how her parents are seeing this issue. Try to see this situation in their point of view.

1. Relationship - No matter how liberal i maybe but the day i find that my daughter is in some sort of relationship while hiding it from me or my wife is that day my trust will shatter into million pieces. If one see nothing wrong in pre-martial relationship then did you tell them the very first day you started this relationship. Parents raised you and to me they truly deserved to be kept in loop from day 1 regarding such an important step of your life.

2. Different country/culture - Living in west and east is totally different culture. Most of the folks in west are more into honesty - we rarely cheat or disobey law. While in India, it is totally different situation. People (even good) cheat, lie and they are the most dishonest person you can ever find. Not all are bad, but it takes your extreme luck to find a good person and that too in sikhi. Maybe this is what her parents are thinking. Maybe they are thinking that a person from india "kurri pata" in order to come abroad. Considering in this kalyug, you see, read and hear so many such cases.

Boys parent reaching out to your other relatives is a very dangerous path and this shouldn't be happening at any stage. This is accomplishing nothing but putting more fuel to fire.

Parents got caught off-guard. They may or maybe not against the caste lifestyle thing but it seems like they are mostly stuck with the shock that they got blindsided and their ego might be the reason that they are not changing their mind. Yes, you are adult and you have full right to make your decision and that you should but do consider the long term effect of your decisions.

I found my partner with the help of my friend and i told my parents from day one. if they didn't agree to the rishta then i wouldn't go for it. In my viewpoint they at least deserves this respect.

Stop generalising for goodness sake and

get off your high horse and change your

thinking that nearly everyone is good in

the western world and early everyone is

bad in India. And if some parents are not

respecting their children's choice because

of their stupid mindset of following the

hindu caste system, do they still

deserve respect?

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^^ It seems like you know her parents well. If you do then i apologize. If you don't know them then isn't it bit too much that you decided to declare war on these ppl whom you don't even know their name and just judged them from someone who is temporarily upset with them (literally from one paragraph). Don't you think you are being too naive?

Sometime it is mature thing to do is to see the picture from others viewpoint. Bhaji, regarding my comment on majority of folks in india are not law abiding and cheat may looks like judgmental but in comparison with ppl living in west, it is true as we all know.

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@ khalsa1469

Thanks for your comments. To a some extend, you are right.

1. Most the guys misuse and cheat to come abroad for better lifestyle. I 100% agree with this.

Sir, my ask from my parents was go, meet and investigate and then make any decision. This would give them chance to know whether this guys is not trying to take my advantage.

Secondly, i told my parents that he was got a opportunity from his job to come here. At that time he rejected it due to some health conditions of his family member. Sir, i sAid to my parents if thats what you think, than lets wait for him to come here on his own then you make a decision. That will prove everything.

Next, i told my parents that he has already applied to come here on PR basis just to prove this that he is not after PR girl.

Sir, there are still many people

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They are still quiet a few honest people in india. Relationships are based on trust. What if tomorrow, my prnts select a guy and he tourches me after wedding.

You alwz have to take risk. Today its my parents decision , tomorrow if i have some issues than my parents cant come and help bcz at that time it will be called interference.

I believe family comes first than society. God forbid, if there is fire in a forest and u have ur family member and somebody from society , who would you save first??????

Would you sacrifice your family member for society or you would save family first n then society?????

2. He is a one in a million guy.he got so many alliance from US , MBBS girls etc . He could have gone for others if coming to abroad so his only concern.

If you read matrimonial page even in newspapers , u wud get bunch of those alliances. But thats not wat he wants.

If money / property was something they are lookong for , than first of all his and his family is well off.

Secondly his dad would never ever said that come here if your parents dont agree after our last try, i will treate you as my own daughter and marry you with him. In that case fhey know i will be gng there empty hands, no property or anything. There is no greed for anything.

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@ khalsa1469

Longterm effects:

If i leave him, i wont marry and throughout the life i will regret (if i will be able to survive)

My parents will b happy. Society will be happy. But i will die each day like now.

On the otherside, if he will b able to survive than he will b forced to marry sumbdy innocent to whom he would never be able to do justice.

N if he does something to himself than his whole family happiness and life is gone as he is dear to his family.

Yeah this society wil be happy as he didnt gt married sumbdy out of caste.

Life is too short to make others happy.

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Dear Sister,

I really hope u marry this Gursikh. Even if u were my blood sister, I would be happy for u to marry a guy like u have described.

Out of respect for your parents please keep trying to convince them this year but if they put society and hindu caste system ahead of there daughters happiness and future then remember that 95% of Sangat support u and will do as if u family to us.

U can ignore the usual hindu caste system supporters as they dont support Gurmat or Rehat Maryada which says no sanjog can be stopped because of hindu caste system. Non-physical friendship is not paap its a blessing that u found such a good Gursikh.

I am proud of u and I support u both and I know 95% of Sangat do too

The choice is between Sikhi (marrying your husband to be) and the hindu caste system society supporting fools

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They are still quiet a few honest people in india. Relationships are based on trust. What if tomorrow, my prnts select a guy and he tourches me after wedding.

You alwz have to take risk.

Statisticaly, how likely are you to get torched by your in-laws ? Is it really the "risk" you paint it out to be ?

I'm just saying because I've ha an arranged marriage and as, of yet, neither I nor my parents have set fire to my wife.

Most people I know have had arranged marriages and I honestly can't think of a single occassion where any of them have ever set alight the wife or daughter in law. Statisticaly then, it must happen so rarely that it should be barely worth considering.

On the other hand, whenever on Sikh forums, I read excuses from some Sikh girls as to why they want to have a boyfriend and marry who they meet and choose, the risk of being set on fire in an arranged marriage is always at or near the top of the list. :blink2:

There are then excuses and then there are excuses. Some are simply excuses to justify a certain type of moral behaviour.

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@ Jagsaw

I never set that if i go for arrange marriage my in law set me to fire or sumthing. I am not against arrange marriage.

I m just saying that if my parents cant trust a guy i chose as they think may be he is takinng advantage for money or just to come abroad, then how can they sumone they wud chose??

I wont into detail but my bro in law is one such example. My parents chose him. My sis hv to adjust acc to him. But they way he treat my sis, my family cant bear. My parents dont like my bro in laws behaviour. But wat can they do. Even if he slap my sis, my parent cnt go n stop him.

No matter who chose, parents or a girl, you have to trust sumbody. Rest is luck.

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@sheikh

Thankyou for your support. 'I m still looking forward to have everything peacefully. I m trying every posible way to convince them.

My wish is to have my family n my love n his family altogether. That would be heaven for me and i would b the happiest girl.

Thanks for your support bro.

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last i remember all others are either brother,son or father until our parents find a suitable match and only after Anand karaj do we set foot into the life of a gristi physically or mentally

but the caste issue here has warped the minds of many after reading some posts and they have forgotten this, maybe it would be different issue if their sister or daughter was talking about boyfriends or maybe not, where has the sharam gone in our people ?

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Your question sbhullar

@sat

if your daughter come and ask same thing, what would you do , will you kill her ?

What a question seems your foolishness has no limits, has your father killed you or are you out to kill your poor parents :no:

it seems whoever has a different view to you, you seem to attack them with your words like the statement you have made above

maybe this immaturity is another reason why your parents are reluctant to go with your plans.

I have read your post and replies and conclude you are an argumentative person who knows it all, then why have you posted here for advice if you know it all !

Do as you wish but we can only advice on as per rehat set by the hukam of the the tenth lord , a Sikh would never harm his or another daughter only a foolish person who does not follow Guru ji's hukam would suggest such a thing.

My reply would be both take khande de phul keep rehat for at least two years and stay apart and then after which get married.

Are you willing to do this ?

Our Father destroyed castes for us by giving us khande de phul and rehat but those who do not receive or follow Guru hukam keep suffering and blaming others and do not look at themselves.

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