Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
chanansingh

Asexuality... And Saying No To Marriage... Whats Wrong With It?

Recommended Posts

Hello all,

wjkk wjkf

I am 27 years old and male. I would like to discuss about a new phenomenon/orientation that not a lot of people are aware about.... but is completely natural.

I want to talk about asexuality. Its an orientation where people do not have any sexual desires towards any gender. Some of them masturbate, others dont. Some are romantic but want to stay away from physical relationships. As a matter of fact I found a sikh girl on AVEN forums (Asexuality forums) as well.

Ever since I was in my late teens, I stopped being sexually attracted to women in real world. I am interested in them, but the idea of marriage and/or sex intimidates me.

Especially in India nowadays, feminism and women power is being abused tremendously. Marriage in itself honestly is a business transaction. Men get married coz they want either sex, or hopefully a servant, or a child, or because marriage is a symbol of maturity.

Women want to get married coz log kya kahenge, to get 'freedom', children etc etc.

Girls parents literally 'sell' her daughter to the highest salaried person.

I have not found one woman I can respect in a loving way. Moreover, almost all indians get married and have tons of kids. We are not dinosaurs who will become extinct. I hate my surroundings and how dirty it is. I dont want to bring my child into this depressed corrupt environment.

I was on singhstreetstyle facebook page and made a few comments against 'marriage'. It doesnt mean that I hate married people.


Are there any seekh or quotes that suggest that one should get married as a rule? I couldnt find one.

I am a virgin and want to stay that way. I see almost every 11 year old having 'banda' and 'bandi' and kissing. I just cant imagine being in that state.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KI FATEH

There have been Sikhs who were celibate from Guru Sahib's time - Baba Deep Singh, Baba Budda Ji were celibate. If that is your choice, so be it. If you, at a later time, decide to get married, so be it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think we should try to at least follow the hukam of leading a grisht jeevan. Clearly, if there are irreversible medical issues or a case of genuine asexuality, then fair enough.

But don't cite celibacy or asexuality just because you don't feel like settling down or facing up to your responsibilities as an adult. Obviously nobody is saying settle for a partner who is completely unsuitable.

Also, don't be one of those devious individuals that claims to want to serve Sikhi by staying unmarried, when in fact you're getting up to all kinds of filth behind closed doors. There's enough of those jokers around to give Sikhi a bad name.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Jacfsing2

It's really Guru's Hukam whether you get married or not, but don't make this about not getting married, but rather not interested in Kaam. If you do have any desire for sex it's best to get married.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are some Sikhs who get very, very angry when other Sikhs claim they wish to remain unmarried and do seva for the rest of their lives. I'm not kidding, I've heard these individuals say if a Sikh remains unmarried he or she will go to hell or will have to be reborn as a Sikh again in order to get married, even if that Sikh has led an exemplary life as a Gursikh aside from getting married. I always assumed that was the default position on this topic.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Jacfsing2

There are some Sikhs who get very, very angry when other Sikhs claim they wish to remain unmarried and do seva for the rest of their lives. I'm not kidding, I've heard these individuals say if a Sikh remains unmarried he or she will go to hell or will have to be reborn as a Sikh again in order to get married, even if that Sikh has led an exemplary life as a Gursikh aside from getting married. I always assumed that was the default position on this topic.

When one is jealous that someone can do more than them they like to find other ways to bring them down. Guru Harkrishan never married.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When one is jealous that someone can do more than them they like to find other ways to bring them down. Guru Harkrishan never married.

What an illogical comparison.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mhmm, I personally know people who think similarly to that, those seem to me like the same people who are eager to have a 'vansh' lol.

I was genuinely under the impression that it was the accepted way of thinking, that remaining single as a Sikh even for honourable purposes was not allowed. Quite surprised tbh.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lol one of the reasons given to me (by an 'average' married sikh person) was that we have to enjoy 'kaam' first in order to get rid of it, which I thought was a really odd reason

I'm not sure about 'enjoying' but there is an argument of facing temptations or problems to overcome them instead of avoiding them completely. Although I'm not sure how relevant that is in this particular situation. In a wider context, if Sikhs avoided marriage (and therefore procreation) there'd be none of us remaining to continue Sikhi.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lol one of the reasons given to me (by an 'average' married sikh person) was that we have to enjoy 'kaam' first in order to get rid of it, which I thought was a really odd reason

Nah it makes perfect sense remember! when you're trying to cure someone of a drug you simply give them an OD of said drug and hope they'll survive and learn not to abuse again.

:lol2:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks all for answering and discussing/debating.

I for one do not believe in heaven and hell. I am more concerned with taking care of my family and those in need and becoming a better person everyday.

I am least bothered with becoming celibate or saintly.

As I said before, I am not a celibate... I am not deliberately avoiding 'kaam' or sex. I just do not feel sexual or wish to get into this marriage business.

As far as explaining what marriage is in todays generation, maybe I was explaining a bit negatively. But these are my opinion. I am not saying that all women are bad. Nor am I saying that thats the reason im not getting married.

I just needed a clarification as a lot of sikhs/people get angry when someone says I do not wish to hook up or get married. I think the way human population is increasing everyday due to 'upar wale ki den', our world needs more people like us who do not wish to bring in more car parking issues and dirt and crowd.

Also, I am showing much more love and respect to my offspiring by not bringing him/her into this sick dirty world. I live in India where people love to keep their houses clean and throw their garbage and dog poop out of their windows. They can afford sunroof audi cars but not a 250 rs a month garbage man.

Plus sikh philosophy does not need offsprings to spread. We are not muslims who think that we should have 10 kids in every family or else we'll end up extinct like dinosaurs. Thats the uneducated approach we must avoid.

Sikhs are as pure/impure as others. We just need to find goodness and spread spirituality happiness and brotherhood... sikh or no sikh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use