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Singh's finding it hard to find life partners.

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On 11/20/2017 at 10:19 PM, Guest Singh said:

Hi,

This has probably been discussed before but it's something I can't really wrap my head around. I'm a singh with full beard and have cousins who are the same, we are finding it difficult to find Sikh girls as life partners. The ones I've been introduced to have a problem with me not cutting my beard and being vegetarian etc... few have asked me if I would cut my beard etc... this coming from supposedly Sikh girls and it's quite disgraceful. 

I've had more interest from girls who are not Sikh...i.e Gujarati, English girls etc.. who don't seem to care about me being a full singh, it's raising questions in my head about the future of Sikhi as a whole, our Sikh girls are moving away from our faith/traditions and adopting western values and ways above all. One of my cousins got fed up and cut his beard in the hopes to be more 'accepted', but I feel this is the wrong choice to make. I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind but I don't want to move away from Sikhi just to find a wife, but it seems like our Sikh girls are. 

 

Suppose this is more of a rant than a question as such. 

Bai ji bni koi gall tuhadi ke nai ? 

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Okay i am back here on my this post, I finally got an rishta that I expected, everything okay from their side but we are going to meet the girl day after tomorrow.

she looks wise and mature in pictures but i am seeking some suggestions from you people who are already married (arrange marriage) that what kind of questions I should ask or how to meet her or like what are important questions that I should consider. ( having no such experience before) 😌

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7 minutes ago, TinnkerBell said:

Okay i am back here on my this post, I finally got an rishta that I expected, everything okay from their side but we are going to meet the girl day after tomorrow.

she looks wise and mature in pictures but i am seeking some suggestions from you people who are already married (arrange marriage) that what kind of questions I should ask or how to meet her or like what are important questions that I should consider. ( having no such experience before) 😌

I would say rather than thinking about what questions to ask is think about the things that are important to you that she should know about and ask her what she feels about them? 

Just my opinion bro but I think it gets straight to the point rather than obscure questions. Plus it is a very humble and equal way of approaching the issues 

🙏🏾

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40 minutes ago, Sukhvirk1976 said:

I would say rather than thinking about what questions to ask is think about the things that are important to you that she should know about and ask her what she feels about them? 

Just my opinion bro but I think it gets straight to the point rather than obscure questions. Plus it is a very humble and equal way of approaching the issues 

🙏🏾

Tusi marriage bai ji ?

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On 11/25/2017 at 6:07 AM, Guest London jwaan said:

I myself have had ridiculous conversations, with one girls dad asking my salary, another asking how much my flat was worth, one asked what car I have another querying my degrees when his daughter didn't even go to university. One even called my place of work to check I work there as he clearly thought I was lying - and then told me. Another asked where our house was in India.

Sorry, but these questions are simply not "ridiculous". He's considering marrying his daughter to you. You don't think he should try to marry her to the best man possible?

On 11/25/2017 at 6:07 AM, Guest London jwaan said:

I don't really care about any of these things

Yeah, because you're not the father of the bride.

You might not care how much you earn, but he does. 

When your bride becomes pregnant, are you going to be able to support her in staying home for as long as she wants to?

A wife and mother of your children is not the same thing as a male roommate.

 

As far as the girl not having gone to university: it doesn't matter. Are you expecting her to support you? Just make sure she's healthy and attractive enough to produce healthy and attractive children.

Or, if you're expecting her to support you, then it won't be that particular girl you'll be marrying.

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On 11/26/2017 at 2:27 AM, Guest London jwaan said:

And whilst 4"11 girls parents might want a guy of 6'4", biologically hardwired or not, why would the guy want a midget.

While I admit that's a large height difference, the point is simply: is she attractive? If so, her height doesn't really matter. If not, move on.

On 11/26/2017 at 2:27 AM, Guest London jwaan said:

And the obsession with money is against everything in sikhi.

Well, I'd agree with you if the parents would never marry the girl off. But there's nothing in making a request. If they get denied, they'll have to lower their expectations.

When you go to buy something (a laptop, a house), don't you try to get the best deal possible?

On 11/26/2017 at 2:27 AM, Guest London jwaan said:

Demanding a guy already has a house, does not live with his parents, and must be a doctor, banker, lawyer etc is severe nonsense

No problem with a girl (or her parents) wanting a doctor/banker/lawyer. 

Demanding a guy has a house and also that he not live with parents is not in accord with Sikhism.

On 11/26/2017 at 2:27 AM, Guest London jwaan said:

What is the girl bringing to the table?

Her ability to bear your children. If she's pretty and pleasant, marry her. If not, move on.

On 11/26/2017 at 2:27 AM, Guest London jwaan said:

Where is her house?

Her house is her father's house, which she is going to leave in order to move in with you.

She's not expected to support you. You're to support her.

On 11/26/2017 at 2:27 AM, Guest London jwaan said:

What is the cut off salary huh? How much is enough?

I agree that parents should not blindly go for the highest salary. Rather, they should go for a reasonably high salary with a reasonably handsome man and good personality.

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On 11/26/2017 at 12:05 PM, Guest London jwaan said:

Not really. I don't have bitterness or anger. What I do have is disgust. Apnay claiming to be more righteous than other apnay, and then the materiality reveals itself with the superficiality beneath the surface that voids all sikhi, paath or amrit as soon as matrimonials are involved.

Trying to get the best match for your daughter does not "void their Sikhi", bro.

I mean, do you think Guru Hargobind ji married Bibi Veero ji to a beggar?

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On 12/24/2017 at 11:32 AM, ipledgeblue said:

has the discrimination  problem with gurdwara matrimonials lists been sorted out yet, or are they still mostly anti turban and anti beards?

I'd never say that a Sikh should cut his hair, bro.

But for those who already are, I have to admit that they would want to marry a mona/moni.

Sad, but reality.

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25 minutes ago, BhForce said:

I'd never say that a Sikh should cut his hair, bro.

But for those who already are, I have to admit that they would want to marry a mona/moni.

Sad, but reality.

Bhforce bai , its all done from girls side, her brother and father came to my home yesterday and did all enquiries and they are all satisfying with me and my family’s reputation. Now they asked us to come and meet their daughter in a Gurudwara sahib. Thats why I was asking you guys what kind of questions you asked your current wife when you met her the first time. Also she is 5 yrs younger to me that means she might have some different mindset than me right

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35 minutes ago, TinnkerBell said:

Bhforce bai , its all done from girls side, her brother and father came to my home yesterday and did all enquiries and they are all satisfying with me and my family’s reputation. Now they asked us to come and meet their daughter in a Gurudwara sahib. Thats why I was asking you guys what kind of questions you asked your current wife when you met her the first time. Also she is 5 yrs younger to me that means she might have some different mindset than me right

You should ensure that she is at the same level of Sikhism as you, whatever that is.

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On ‎11‎/‎20‎/‎2017 at 4:49 PM, Guest Singh said:

Hi,

This has probably been discussed before but it's something I can't really wrap my head around. I'm a singh with full beard and have cousins who are the same, we are finding it difficult to find Sikh girls as life partners. The ones I've been introduced to have a problem with me not cutting my beard and being vegetarian etc... few have asked me if I would cut my beard etc... this coming from supposedly Sikh girls and it's quite disgraceful. 

I've had more interest from girls who are not Sikh...i.e Gujarati, English girls etc.. who don't seem to care about me being a full singh, it's raising questions in my head about the future of Sikhi as a whole, our Sikh girls are moving away from our faith/traditions and adopting western values and ways above all. One of my cousins got fed up and cut his beard in the hopes to be more 'accepted', but I feel this is the wrong choice to make. I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind but I don't want to move away from Sikhi just to find a wife, but it seems like our Sikh girls are. 

 

Suppose this is more of a rant than a question as such. 

maybe you need to consider the non-Indians, all are people in the end.

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On 1/29/2019 at 3:07 PM, mahandulai said:

maybe you need to consider the non-Indians, all are people in the end.

Mahandulai, o na bai ji

apa nu te punjaban hi theek aa 😂

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