Gursikhs and Love-Marriage

[Gupt_Singh]

theres no such thing as love. my gora mates are going out with one girl one minute saying "ooooh i love her, shes the best" and then 2 weeks later i ask them why they are all quiet and peed off and they go "oh i broke up with my girlfriend".

love is just a mix of loads of kaam and moh. its probably the best trick maya has up her sleeve, i reckon, lol

love for guruji is totally different to love for a worldly thing. can you "love" your worldly possessions too?

[Akaali]

Good post Mann!!

Kaam is desire, a desire which is not quenched by love. Kaam is temporary, while love is eternal, because God is love and God is eternal. Kaam is temporary and is thus a sin, intoxicants such as liquor and opium are not allowed in Sikhi because they to are temporary "nasha." Everything is temporary and false except love.

Love is the most powerful language in this world, maybe in all of creation love always prevails, the way we talk to Waheguru ji is through love. There's no other language more supreme than this, which can link a soul to Waheguru ji.

Now, love has many variations, love between a man and a woman, love for humanity, love for God, basically you can use love with mostly everything and you can't go wrong, you can goto an old lady who doesn't speak your language but if you smile, and give her a hug, she understands that its an expression of love.

God made man & woman for a purpose, obviously the bond between a man and a woman is held together by love, and if God didn't want this then he wouldn't of created the relationship of husband and wife, to carry on life.

Now, to get to the point, our lives revolve around love, and we can't just abolish that. But TRUE LOVE, is NOT with another man/woman, family, etc. TRUE LOVE is with the ONE, the ALMIGHTY! When your family disowns you, your love leaves you, your friends abandon you, y

our only true friend is Waheguru. When you were born, your only true friend/companion was Waheguru, same as when you die..

The feeling of love is very powerful, it can over come you in an instant, but does not last very long. Not going into the topic too much, just wanna conclude that apply love in your life, where it belongs, but don't see it as your only destination, because you would be living in a fallacy. Since TRUE LOVE is his NAAM!!

My two cents!! Bhul chuk maaf!

[Guest mehtab]

i m gonna start out by saying something u all missed

Mann veerjee, congratulations on ur soon coming marriage :wub: ...may Gurujee bless u and behenjee with all the happiness, success and prosperity in life

Love! Please do NOT go for the western OR the stupid bollywood definition! Its a feeling that cant be even described. This is what Gurbani says :

The body is dead without true love.

(Guru Amar Das, Ramkali Rag)

A life devoid of love is a flower blooming in the wilderness,

With nobody to enjoy its fragrance.

(Kabirji, Gauri Rag)

Due to false love and ego in my heart, I am caught in a whirlpool.

(Guru Arjan Dev, Bihagara Rag)

One in whose heart there is love, He attains salvation.

(Guru Amar Das, Majh Rag)

There is all outward love in this world, Every person thinks of his own gain,

Though he be your kith or kin.

(Guru Tegh Bahadur, DEVGANDHARI Rag)

Loving another human being makes sense if one can see WAHEGURU in the person. If not, then its just physical <

!--endemo--> .

"They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together. Rather they alone are called husband and wife, who have one soul in two bodies." (Guru Amar Das, Pauri, pg. 788)

wishing u all the best in ur married life

[Sherneekaur]

Dating is just not going out with the person to the movies or out to a party. Nowadays it is also done over the net, by chatting on msn, yahoo, icq, aol messengers. Dating is against sikhi and so is love marriages. There should be no relationship outside of a marriage.

That is a good post Veer Japnaam Singh!! People always use the line " Oh i want to know the person before I marry them".... If you were to have an arranged marriage your parents know what kind of husband/wife would be good for you and would not get you married off to some psycho.

Also if your Amritdharee you should know that Dating is wrong having a Boyfriend/girlfriend is pure Manmat.

If your Amritdharee you must marry another Amrithdaree person with the same Rehit as you.

[NaamWarrior]

wahegurujikakhalsa wahegurujikifateh

When parents have spoken and the guy and girl both meet up for a chat, which happens in nearly all cases of a rhista, would that be dating too? According to all the posts I’ve read, any contact or verbal communication before Anand Karaj is considered as dating... if we say that its ok in that instance because the parents have agreed to it or have spoken... then what if parents have accepted the fact that they trust their kids enough to go out and chill out with singhs and singhnees and choose their own life partner... would it still be wrong?

It’s surprising how we all treat the 'love' word as being such a negative thing. Call it what you want at the end of the day we as Sikhs are not to be attached to anything... anything that brings us attachment is 'maya' ... its easy to sit behind a comp screen and say Sikhi says this Sikhi says that... the fact of the matter is that your Human, we are full of the 5 vices... maya is something that will effect us 100%... us sitting on the screen and being on the internet is maya and love... love for the internet... love for these websites... love for our houses... love for our children... on this whole planet you could probably count the few Gurmukhs on your fingers who have overcome this attachment of 'maya'... if you speak to these Gurmukhs they will tell you that you cant run away from these things, you cant go and hide in some hole somewhere and say I’m not going to be surrounded by this maya of modern day life and hope that it will just go away..... We have to fight it living within this maya.... we are very weak our mind are very weak, if such great Gursikhs such as J

oga Singh could be distracted by this maya of a prostitute house then we have a looooooong way to go before we can even start to think that we have overcome or come anywhere near overcoming these thieves.

I agree 'dating' is wrong.... but so is ninda, chuglee, lying, money, hurting peoples feelings etc etc .... We still probably do all those other things EVERYDAY of our life....

The problem I see with us nowadays is that we have become 'book worms' we read, read, and read from books and think we know everything... that is just 'kitaabi gyan' ... we have forgotten about doing seva and spending time and doing sangat of Gursikhs such as Bhai Jeevan Singh Jee, Bhai Rama Singh Jee, Bhai Pooran Singh Jee .... When we spend time with these Gursikhs they will indirectly show you what Gursikhi is and how it should be lived.

My personal experiences with these Gursikhs are just indescribable, it’s easy saying Sikhi says this Sikhi says that, but actually living Sikhi for what it is just a different experience.

I would just urge that anyone who is thinking they have found a life partner that they should let their parents know and get them to initiate a 'gaal baat’ with the other persons parents and if both agree then you could get to know each other.... 99% of people that use the internet chat to the opposite sex on msn, message boards etc etc.. Whats so different from that and chatting in person??? If you look deeper you will find that there is no difference at all.... at smagams and keertans, boys and girls mix and chat freely, whats the difference between that and them same boys and girls mixing outside socially.... again look deeper and you will find that there is no difference and according to you guys all that could also be classified as 'dating'.

Sorry if I have hurt anyone’s feelings, but I am a firm believer that Sikhi is unique to every individual, we should not rely too much on hearing or asking things from other people, what they might seem

to know, you can do the udhaam yourself and find out and decide for yourself what is right an wrong... Guru Granth Sahib Jee has the answers to everything and also the reasoning into each answer you seek, if we are noting going to search and read Gurbani for ourselves and ask everyone else for answers we will never get anywhere in our Jeevan hence we will forever be asking the same questions such as 'if dating or love is right or wrong'.

Bhull Chuk di Khaymaa.. Sorry for the long email, this is the first time I have ever written on the Internet so please forgive me.

wahegurujikakhalsa wahegurujikifateh

[Akaali]

Nice post - NaamWarrior

WELCOME to SikhSangat.com!!

I hope you can share your gyaan with all of us in relating topics in the future!

[GABROO KHALISTAN DAH]

naam warrior makes sense

and i like vicky singhs version of dating.........

But arrange marriages these days are'nt juss girl boy meet on the day of marriage, these days its the parents hook em up, they do gal baath for a few months and then get married...now that inbetween few months is that no dating?

[waheguroo]

sat sri akal

sangat ji i have a confession to make i at one point dated this girl i knew..however we didnt do anything dirty together we just hung out and we just hugged like once and later on we decided to be friends my question is to the sangat what shud i do now i have committed this act that i shudnt have and a strong regret it after reading thesed articles i blame it on the lack of knowledge i had the way i was told was daing is allowd in sikhi but thats if u do nuthing dirty and if its for marrage purposes so sangat ji where do i got from here now?? i am trying to be a better sikh by slowing learning more and more but i do i get maffi for this

[Gupt daasan daas]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

bhia vicky bhaji, no dating is aloowed, even your version. Everyone stop trying to choose your mate, it was already choosen by vaheguru. ANd may i addd that arranged marriges almost never divorce, and love marriges divorce a lot.

bhul chuk maf

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

[Gupt daasan daas]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

no relationship outside of anand karaj.

bhul chuk maf

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!