Gursikhs and Love-Marriage

[smartsingh24]

i'm wit khalastani 100%. It's all wrong. Any love for someone other than god shouldn't be allowed.

[japmans]

the greatest arguement that some come up with is that when you marry, you're to be finding one who can help you on the spiritual religious path to find God, to merge wit Vaheguru.

Yet, you're expected to have no feelings with this person that you're taking this HUGE step with... does this seem odd to anyone else? Shouldn't you be sharing SOMETHING with this person that you're going to be making the eternal leap with?

khalistani veerji, i respect your opinions, and i have no right to say tha your opinion is wrong, however i just don't agree with it. lets leave it at that.

mann kaum laye gurbaan veerji, lakh lakh vadaayeean, i hope your life is filled with love (for both your wife and for guruji), and may Guru ji bestow all of the tools required for you to move on in life on you!

gurfateh

[NaamWarrior]

wahegurujikakhalsa wahegurujikifateh

Everyone stop trying to choose your mate, it was already choosen by vaheguru. ANd may i addd that arranged marriges almost never divorce, and love marriges divorce a lot.

Khalistani veer/bhen jee

Waheguru has chosen everything for us.... Waheguru has also chosen that if we are to go down the wrong path and 'go out' with someone then we are, does Waheguru not say we are mare puppets and Waheguru is the puppeter??

We also need to realise that we are living in Kuljug, over the years we have seen a major decline in our faith for Sikhi and thats the way its supposed to happen, Guru Sahib has told us that there will come a time when the muslims will rule and the last of the chouvess avtar will come to do sudaar and rid all evil and that is what is really happening, Sikhi is declining very rapidly hence us asking questions such as 'is dating allowed' etc.... Waheguru will make us do what Waheguru is making us do, and Waheguru is the one that can make us realise if what we are doing is right or wrong through what ever means.

Khalistani... in the area that i live in, i can give you many examples of marraiges which have not worked out and out of them all, only 2 were 'love marraiges' and the many other were so called 'arranged marriages' .... i don't think you can make assumptions like that, if we look back 50 years divorce was not acc

epted in Sikhi.... the problem we have nowadays is that divorce is now accepted hence people pointing the finger at 'love marriages' .... its us that have let those divorces happen we have no one else to blame.

Guru Sahib has chosen your life partner and also chosen the way that you 'meet' that partner.

To understand the play of waheguru there is a VERY good book written by Bhai Rhandhir Singh Jee 'Karam Philosophy' ... the nost unique thing about Bhai Sahibs books is that when you start reading EVERY single arguement is backed up with Gurbani.... unlike many other books where you will find that, thats not the case... to fully understand it you may have to read it a couple of times, but it is sooo enjoyable as you are reciting Gurabni at the same time as learning what Gurbani is teaching us.

Bhull chuk maff

wahegurujikakhalsa wahegurujikifateh

[Gupt daasan daas]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

pyare bhia sahib/bhen ji,

ok, this is what the damdami taksal maryada says on this topic, which i follow as the original sikhi maryada. I see what you are all saying, but if we date, our mind might come into kaam and we might regret something we might do. BHAJIS AND BHANJIS, I WILL SAY IT AGAIN, NO RELATIONSHIP OUTSIDE OF ANAND KARAJ IS ALLOWED. If we start being these "modern singhs", i am afraid guru je will not come to there help, as guru je shall give the khalsa all its power if it obeys all his commands, but when we go away from guru jis hukams, he will not help us. The point is, no relationship outside of anand karaj is allowed. So , therefore, no dating is allowed. And be careful, what we think to be love is not always love, but indeed , it is kaam and moh. I personally have some friends, who have taken amrit, but run after girls to such an extent, it has ruined his name, and he has lost his relationship with guru je. Please dont ask me how he lost that relationship with guru je, i know. He still keeps outside sarrop of khalsa, but is not khalsa from the inside. Kaam has ruined him. If we allow our minds to think for us, and not obey guru jes hukam, then we shall be dooomed. and this freind is not me. He would also say why cant we date girls, why cant we do this, etc... WHy do we question our guru je? Whatever he told us, its for our own good. It will lead us to mukhti. We will merge with akal purkh. But, we must be willing to accept all his hukams. And dating is forbidden, by not only damdami taksal, but by prety much the whole panth.Lets just stick to arranged marriges. We met the person were gonna marr

y before the anand karaj, so you know what kind of person they are, so there is no need for dating and love marriges. If u dont agree with me, please do the following, please, and youll see the truth for yourself :nihungsmile:

1 am- ishnaan

1 30 am- naam simran

5 am- nitnem( japji sahib, jap sahb, tva prasad swayie, chaupai sahib, anand sahib, suggest a taksal gutka, as has full banis)

6 am- asa di vaar

7 am- sukhmani sahib

8 am- go to school/work, honest days labour

3 pm- do homework, whatever work needed to be done

5 pm- play a little, practice gatka skill to the peak :nihungsmile:

6 pm- ( around sunset time) reheraas

6 30 pm-naam simran

8 pm- do what ever

9 pm- listen to kirtan, tadi, katha, whatever

10 pm- do chandi di vaar

10 30 pm- do kirtan sohila( starts with surat mahala panjvan)

10 34 pm- go to sleep

hope i could help

bhul chuk maf

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

[Gupt daasan daas]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

oh, and naam warrior, im a singh :nihungsmile:

bhul chuk maf

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

[theturbanator]

as guru je shall give the khalsa all its power if it obeys all his commands, but when we go away from guru jis hukams, he will not help us.

1 am- ishnaan

1 30 am- naam simran

5 am- nitnem( japji sahib, jap sahb, tva prasad swayie, chaupai sahib, anand sahib, suggest a taksal gutka, as has full banis)

6 am- asa di vaar

7 am- sukhmani sahib

8 am- go to school/work, honest days labour

3 pm- do homework, whatever work needed to be done

5 pm- play a little, practice gatka skill to the peak :nihungsmile:

6 pm- ( around sunset time) reheraas

6 30 pm-naam simran

8 pm- do what ever

9 pm- listen to kirtan, tadi, katha, whatever

10 pm- do chandi di vaar

10 30 pm- do kirtan sohila( starts with surat mahala panjvan)

10 34 pm- go to sleep

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

I agree with the part that Guru Ji wont help you if u dont follow his hukam,

So long as the Khalsa remains pure and follows the Gurus path, Till then I will be

stow all spiritual strength on him, When they follow the wrong path and go astray, I will not care for them.- Guru Gobind Singh Ji

and about ur "schedule" wont a person get sleep deprived if he sleeps at 1034 pm adn wakes at 1 am??

[Gupt daasan daas]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

hehe, its true, but many singhs with guru je kirpa can sleep only 3 - 4 hours. But max amount of sleep u should be getting is 6 hours. U can cut down on the naam simran to get more sleep if u wish. :nihungsmile:

bhul chuk maf

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

[moorakh mugadh]

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

i agree with vicks no touching vouching nothing doing before anandkaraj but u can take ur mate to gurdwara sahib and talk there also i think there is no prob and if u try to take to a quite place it leeds to where u all know take to gurudwra sahib or soome public places and talk.

(i dont have to even rite to talk abt it because my life was hell that time before marriage) and now GURU TE SANGAT KIRPA KARE :wub:

[mann_kaum_layee_qurbaan]

thanks rochak malang and all the others for their congrats...thanks to everyone for their replies, i know this is a controversial topic but one which needs attention...i do not want to give the impression that we need "modern sikhi" Sikhi is beautiful and sacred, i was just wondering where all of this stood in relation to Sikhi.......i agree that dating is wrong where people go beyond the limits, but this topic is very important because many people say that your parents will choose the right person, but after coming to Western countries and having different routines different educational backgrounds our parents might not always know the perfect partner for you...someone said that Waaheguru chooses your partner for you, and I agree with that, but that does not necessarily mean that your parents will choose the partner Waaheguru chose for you......for those who said how can one have a love-marriage without dating well it depends on the definition of "dating" well just gal baat and hanging out should be the limit....I also agree that love for God is the ultimate form of love but nobody brought up my point that someone who cannot love another person cannot love God......I think the 99% figure of people who love another girl or boy are acting out of kaam is a wild guess and a representative of stereotypes within the community, I know that God is always there with us in happiness and sorrow, Gurbanu says God watches over His Creation, it's just that I would love to be on that path with someone I love, truly and genuinely, I know the puratan singhs like Bhai taru Singh and Bhai Mani Singh and the countless other shaheeds gave up everything and loved only God, but who ever said tha

t loving another person holds one back from giving the ultimate sacrifice for Waaheguru, who knows how much Satwant Singh and Beant Singh loved their wives and children and still gave their life for the panth by ridding the world of indira gandhi, .....it is hard to really describe it, this "love", .......all i know is where there is love there is God....Love has become dirty because of movies and other aspects of modern society, but trust me true lovers still exist even though this love is far below the love for God.....Love is a feeling, something which no one can buy at a store or borrow from someone, like i said in my previous post kaam is temporary, love is eternal, thus supporting my view that loving only one is just; while saying i love you to 10 girls is just kaam and a mistaken feeling of love.......thanks again for the replies, forgive this manmukh, my love for Sikhi and Sikhs is not capable of being written in words, I know I am not perfect, but this is God's will, if His Creation was perfect then what would we have to strive for, it is because we are not perfect that the pursuit of being perfect makes life interesting and unique.......

[Guest balwinderkaur]

agree with naam warrior and mann veerjee.