Kaam And Marriage

[Guest Guest]

Kaam (lust) is one of the 5 vices. Our aim is to overcome these 5 vices to emerge with Waheguru (God) after death.

However to get married and have kids we need Kaam, so i am confused on this part. Yes we can Jap Naam (meditate) as a family man as well, but without Kaam how can we have kids.

Post you're views.

[Guest Guest]

it aint a sin bro

when u look at other women etc , it is.

i hope i was right

[JustME]

KAAM and PROCREATION are to very different things my bro/sis

Kaam is where ur intent is not pure when carrying out acts of a sexual nature

Pro-creation is to bring a generation of sikhi into this dark age of kalyug

[Tarrandeep Kaur]

Hmm but i fort that kaam is like lust, as in lustful desires and that.

and in order to have kids you have to have this 'desire' which is wrong.

I mean we've all done basic science. and seems that kaam is involved..... so yh im confused on the issue aswell.

i thought tht we should put effort into controlling the panj chor...

but then again we cant say having kids is wrong.......

yh im confused :wub:

[chatanga]

Kaam means desire, and this can expressed sexually as well. Gurbani tells us that we must always control it, not let it control us. It doesnt tell us we must kill it dead. We have to try and make the 5 chor our slaves in this world rather than be slaves to the 5 chor.

Bhagwan Brahma once said to Akal Purakh, " whoever is created , enters a state of samadhi and then merges back into yourself. They do not reproduce( have no sexual desire). So there is no continiuty. Akal Purakh then created Kaam and the other 4 thieves and let them loose on creation. This will ensure that the creation reproduces and expands. However the creation must always keep these 5 theives under control."

this is a sakhi from muktnama. If you wanna hear it in full go to www.gurmatveechar.com and look for Giani Thakur Singh under Katha. Its in his folder, and i would recommend to everyone to listen to it, cos i havent the brains to explain it properly.

[Guest Akirtghan]

* i await amarjit to come here and aruge me to death *

kaam and procreation are NOT the same thing.

we need the 5 "vices" to survive. as chatange's pointed out - the word kaam comes from the sanskirt work Kaam_naa which means desire. but mostly we tend to associate kaam with sexual desire.

our definition of kaam is wrong. so lets look at it. if having kids is same as being kaami then guru sahib was kaami see how absurd that sounds !!!!

so, to say again, kaam is something we require, but a sikh's job is to control kaam not allow it to take control of the sikh.

to put it more bluntly, after marraige, you just dont "do it" everywhere plan your marraige life, talk with your partner and figure when you both would like to start a family and then take things from there. the common notion that couples always "do it" the first night of marraige, is not true. if you let kaam take over then it probly will happen right away, i dont think thats a good thing.

PS. i do belive guru gobind singh jee sahib said, that a sikh can go to the bed of his wife everyday, but not go to bed of another's women even in his dreams. perhaps someone can post the tuk :wub:

[Heera Singh]

kaam is not somethin we require... i's 'sexual desire' ... in my opinion kaam is excessive sexual desire...

NOBODY can have kids without sexual desire... jus can't happen!

[chatanga]

see kaam is used for god and bad things. Good for procreation. Bad if you wanna do it and think about it all the time all the time and forget other aspects ofyour life , spirituality, prayer, sewa etc.

in the same way krodh anger is only good if its directed in a positve way, as Guru Gobind Singh says in Bachiotar Natak, " when the arrow struck , the anger in me rose..." . Bad if you are angry over sumthing and brood on it all day and forget your nitnem.

duz this make sense? the 5 chor are there to be controlled, not killed cos at some time in our life we are going to need and use them in some way or the other.

[malkeet]

my understanding is that kaam is sexual desire/lust for some1 other than your wife.

[Akaali]

You can only jap naam, do sevaa to control the 5 vices, you can't fully kill them, if you've killed them that means you're dead.

hao vich aaya hao vich gaya|

hao vich jammea hao vich mua|