Why marriage?

[Deep Singh]

Khalsa jeeo,

this might be a very strange question for the sangat...but Khalsa has chardi kala so i hope you guys forgive me if i say anyhing wrong. i fully stand by anand karaj....but here comes a fundamental question...it may seem like it is asked by a humanist/atheist...but i think we should answar such questions to construct a Khalsa identity...so i think this is a rather constructive though....

so, why should there be a marriage ritual? if we think of pre-civilization era (as per historic references) were men and women "forced" (i know it is a too strong word) to have a ritual?....did they even have such a materal life?...or a "free" life...i do not mean free sex (sorry if this offends anyone) but a much more free lifestyle....where maybe one single human being was not bound with ONLY one...but both men and women could have several partners...not (only) sexually but as a partner with whom one might share thoughts and have a relationship. this is something that the naturalists think. that the present monogamy trapes the human soul from developement. some research shows that "naturally" after 4-5 years a man or woman gets tired being with a single partner..because they after this period of time understand "everything" about their partner...and need some new challenges for the life. so Khalsa jeeo are we killing the "natural" human instinct by establishing monogamy (even any other type of materal bond-ritual). should modern humans be allowed to be free as the pre-civilization sapiens were...?

Now Guru Sahib give us the Mat that humans are traped with lust/attachment etc. i fully understand that. Guru Sahib have a different perspective then the naturalists...ie

that lust trapes our soul, not living in family life (or monogamy). But think over this. human civilization has developed a family-life/monogamy...is this really the best way for humans to develope their psyche. is it through a singular family life that we work well, or would our lifes be better and our souls be free to enlighten our selves if there were no such "dogmatic" norms...

Khalsa jee bhull chuk maaf karna

[simmal tree]

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

Aaahh... this is an interesting post. It could be classified as controversial ........ but then again it certainly deserves attention. I really need to think about this one. I will post soon. I hope the sangat posts too.

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

[AmardeepSingh]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

Deep Singh Ji, did you just watch the movie k-pax?

just kidding but seriously, your post reminded me of the movie

So did the following, which I read the other day. Sorry if it seems that it's of the topic, but I think that in a way it is relevant.

Confucius said, "The practice of the Great Tao and the eminent men of the Three Dynasties--this I have never seen in person, and yet I have a mind to follow them. When the Great Tao prevailed, the world was a commonwealth; men of talent and virtue were selected, mutual confidence was emphasized, and brotherhood was cultivated. Therefore, men did not regard as parents only their own parents, nor did they treat as sons only their own sons. Old people were able to enjoy their old age; young men were able to employ their talents; juniors respected their elders; helpless widows, orphans, and cripples were well cared for. Men had their respective occupations, and women their homes. They hated to see wealth lying about in waste, and they did not hoard it for their own use. They hated not to use their energies, and they used their energies not for their own benefit. Thus evil schemings were repressed, and robbers, thieves, and traitors no longer appeared, so that the front door remained open. This was called the Ta-tung (Grand Unity).

"Now the Great Tao has fallen into obscurity, and the world is in the possession of families. Each regards as parents only his own parents and treats as sons only his own sons; wealth and labor are employed for selfish purpose. The sovereigns take it as the proper behavior (li) that their states should be hereditary; they ende

avor to make their cities and suburbs strong, their ditches and moats secure. Propriety (li) and justice (i) are used as the norms to regulate the relationship between ruler and subject, to ensure affection between father and son, harmony between brothers, and concord between husband and wife; to set up institutions, organize farms and hamlets, honor the brave and the wise, and bring merit to the individual. Hence schemes and plottings come about and men take up arms."

Confucianism. Book of Ritual 7.1.2

and no im not reading the book of ritual just part of this world scripture text I'm reading

about the research, these days people can be conducting the same studies but depending on their backgrounds, beliefs, etc they can "fix" their tests/surveys/statistics to show that their theories are correct.

[Jassika]

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

Aaahh... this is an interesting post. It could be classified as controversial ........ but then again it certainly deserves attention. I really need to think about this one. I will post soon. I hope the sangat posts too.

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

yes and controversial topics are the most important to discuss too

[ms514]

Sat Sri Akal:

If humanity was destined to favor polygamy, then monogamy would not be around. It is precisely BECAUSE our ancestors chose (hehehe...chose, like the Almighty not do anything) to have one partner that monogamy became the normal.

For a Sikh, marriage is about sangat 24/7. Your spouse is a permanent sangat in the house. Both have the responsibility of meditating on the Almighty and give each other company on the path of Sikhi.

Besides, it takes long enough to get used to one person's bad habits...who could deal with new bad habits every 5 years???

@

[AmardeepSingh]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

Well said ms514

[Ryu Hayabusa]

But think over this. human civilization has developed a family-life/monogamy...is this really the best way for humans to develope their psyche.

The human's psyche would be much more messed if they remarried every 5 years.

[JSingh]

Very good question Deep Sing Ji. I have very little time today, but still say something how i feel about this

I don't know anything about naturalism or anything, but the only thing i know is that i cannot see my wife doing with the whole village. I think my wife would expect the same from me too I don't know what instinct it is that grants human beings a free will that would make them behave like animals, indeed most human beings do behave and live their lives just like animals, such as eating habbits, and having sex with someone who is not their spouse, etc. etc.. But we are humans and this body is the only body that has the ability to unite us with our True Identity. And if we start doing all the things just because we think biologically we are animals, we would be left disadvantaged from the benefit of this body because biology does not see what our Gurus have seen and want us to show the world.

Secondly, a proper way of doing something is not ritual. For example, we have to sit straight on a chair because if we developed bad sitting habbit, it could hurt us in a long run, we would become hunch backed (sorry for misspelling). There is always a proper and improper way of doing everything. So doing something the right way does not make that act ritual. In this sense, marriage, as said by Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji in 52 hukamnamas, a Sikh cannot start family life without

marriage. So marriage is the proper way of starting a family and living our life according to Gurmat. The improper way would be, such as having sex with anyone, making children, live one day with one wife, and the second with other, and so. So as an example, both of these ways are starting a family. As Sikhs, we know the first one is proper and doing it the proper way does not make it ritualistic. do i make sense? if not please forgive me :wub:

if i said something wrong or mere kise shabad vichon vi hankaar di boo aa rahi hove tan mere sou jutti marni... bhul chuk di khima...

[Khalsa4ever]

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

The question as to why marriage is nessisary is a really good one!!

However, with regard to the ritual comment earlier, I think it is wise to point out that Anand Karaj isn't a ritual. Its like going infront of our true guru, with the backing of the sangat, and asking Guruji and God to bless the couple, for happiness, and most importantly, to never forget God throughout their life.

As to why should we marry... I'll leave that to you philosophers!

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

[Deep Singh]

Khalsa jeeo

how can you say marriage is a ritual.....you all know what Anand Karaj is....it is sangat as bhaji said....and i agree

but one who does not know this...follows Anand Karaj because someone else tells him to do so or because of pressure..that would make it is ritual (for him). but for a Khalsa no Anand Karaj is sangat...it is the proper way. so i hope you guys do not mind the way i wrote earlier...

the main question here is why we marry. i somewhat know what Gurmat says about this. however bhaji i did not mean that everyone has to MARRY every 5 years. i mean in such a society "there would be no marriage" >bass khule aam badmashi< the so called free style advocated by some naturalists in the europe in the begining of the 1900s.