Relationship Before Marriage

[JustME]

(isnt one of the bugger kurehits that we cant have a relationship outside of marriage???? im pretty sure all rehatnamas say this)

:lol: i think its Bujjar veer G

[JustME]

Okay i agree with B4Nda in the sense we truly need to understand what a "relationship" is...........if you have the intent to engage in a plutonic relationship in order to get to know someone as a potential life partner................then...........personally i dont see anything wrong with that................the battle has always been with the mind and nothing else.....................a potential spouse would be someone i can spend hours and hours talking about Waheguru with...............someone to do seva with.............someone to rouse me at amritvela when i feel like crawling back to bed............someone who puts WAHEGURU and SANGAT before me and vice versa...................the relationship you must strive to develop is no different to our journey in life............the tools and methods we may use are different but the goal has always been to see waheguru in everything....................

ibnw AnMd ibvwh qy Bugqy pr kI joie ] sux isKw gur kih Q~ky myrw isK n soie ]25]

binaa ana(n)dh bivaah thae bhugathae par kee joe || sun sikhaa gur kehi thhaakae maeraa sikh n soe ||25||

Without having Anand Karaj those who have sexual relationships. Listen O' Sikh the Guru states, he is not my Sikh.

notice the word used in this Rehatnama Mukhthnama

"SEXUAL RELATIONs" and not a friendship before marraige but bani has always been our spiritual teacher...............u can still be a virgin yet have the most polluted mind by imagining bedding every man/woman that walks past you..........no is that not equal to sleeping around with ten different people physically?

When following the sikhi path its important to remember than, mann, dhan are all of the same thing.........mentally, physically, spiritualy we know what is right and wrong...........we know where the boundries lie and whether we mentally or physically cross them.................there is no difference.......its just maya and kaljug tightening its stranglehold over us

Bhulah chucka di maafi sangat jio

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

[Medallion Stallion]

Okay i agree with B4Nda in the sense we truly need to understand what a "relationship" is...........if you have the intent to engage in a plutonic relationship in order to get to know someone as a potential life partner................then...........personally i dont see anything wrong with that................the battle has always been with the mind and nothing else.....................a potential spouse would be someone i can spend hours and hours talking about Waheguru with...............someone to do seva with.............someone to rouse me at amritvela when i feel like crawling back to bed............someone who puts WAHEGURU and SANGAT before me and vice versa...................the relationship you must strive to develop is no different to our journey in life............the tools and methods we may use are different but the goal has always been to see waheguru in everything....................

ibnw AnMd ibvwh qy Bugqy pr kI joie ] sux isKw gur kih Q~ky myrw isK n soie ]25]

binaa ana(n)dh bivaah thae bhugathae par kee joe || sun sikhaa gur kehi thhaakae maeraa sikh n soe ||25||

Without having Anand Karaj those who have sexual relationships. Listen O' Sikh the Guru states, he is not my Sikh.

notice the word used in this Rehatnama Mukhthnama

"SEXUAL RELATIONs" and not a friendship before marraige but bani has always been our spiritual teacher...............u can still be a virgin yet have the most polluted mind by imagining bedding every man/woman that walks past you..........no is that not equal to sleeping around with ten different people physically?

When following the sikhi path its important to remember than, mann, dhan are all of the same thing.........mentally, physically, spiritualy we know what is right and wrong...........we know where the boundries lie and whether we mentally or physically cross them.................there is no difference.......its just maya and kaljug tightening its stranglehold over us

Bhulah chucka di maafi sangat jio

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

I agree with everything you said but is mentally imagining being with someone really the same as pyhsically being with someone?

[JustME]

I agree with everything you said but is mentally imagining being with someone really the same as pyhsically being with someone?

well i think it is.........remember bani makes so many references to the battle of the mind............Kaam, Krodh, Loh Moh and Hankaar are born in the mind..........the mind feeds and nurtures them............it is the body, i.e. physical contact that carries out the actions of an impure mind..............

[Heera Singh]

Okay i agree with B4Nda in the sense we truly need to understand what a "relationship" is...........if you have the intent to engage in a plutonic relationship in order to get to know someone as a potential life partner................then...........personally i dont see anything wrong with that................the battle has always been with the mind and nothing else.....................a potential spouse would be someone i can spend hours and hours talking about Waheguru with...............someone to do seva with.............someone to rouse me at amritvela when i feel like crawling back to bed............someone who puts WAHEGURU and SANGAT before me and vice versa...................the relationship you must strive to develop is no different to our journey in life............the tools and methods we may use are different but the goal has always been to see waheguru in everything....................

ibnw AnMd ibvwh qy Bugqy pr kI joie ] sux isKw gur kih Q~ky myrw isK n soie ]25]

binaa ana(n)dh bivaah thae bhugathae par kee joe || sun sikhaa gur kehi thhaakae maeraa sikh n soe ||25||

Without having Anand Karaj those who have sexual relationships. Listen O' Sikh the Guru states, he is not my Sikh.

notice the word used in this Rehatnama Mukhthnama

"SEXUAL RELATIONs" and not a friendship before marraige but bani has always been our spiritual teacher...............u can still be a virgin yet have the most polluted mind by imagining bedding every man/woman that walks past you..........no is that not equal to sleeping around with ten different people physically?

When following the sikhi path its important to remember than, mann, dhan are all of the same thing.........mentally, physically, spiritualy we know what is right and wrong...........we know where the boundries lie and whether we mentally or physically cross them.................there is no difference.......its just maya and kaljug tightening its stranglehold over us

Bhulah chucka di maafi sangat jio

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

makes sense... good post..

buh, dun agree wit the 'thinkin' is as bad as 'doin' part...

[Tarrandeep Kaur]

I agree with everything you said but is mentally imagining being with someone really the same as pyhsically being with someone?

well i think it is.........remember bani makes so many references to the battle of the mind............Kaam, Krodh, Loh Moh and Hankaar are born in the mind..........the mind feeds and nurtures them............it is the body, i.e. physical contact that carries out the actions of an impure mind..............

then why is it a kurehit to have a sexual relationship with someone before marriage, which requires pesh. and you would require amrit again.

would you require this if you have the bad thought in your head?

physically doing the action and having bad thoughts, are both bad. but they are not the same.

[Medallion Stallion]

I agree with everything you said but is mentally imagining being with someone really the same as pyhsically being with someone?

well i think it is.........remember bani makes so many references to the battle of the mind............Kaam, Krodh, Loh Moh and Hankaar are born in the mind..........the mind feeds and nurtures them............it is the body, i.e. physical contact that carries out the actions of an impure mind..............

yes they are borne in the mind but you use bani to combat those thoughts and if you succeed in combating them then great but if you go ahead and make physical contact then thats bad..............what im saying is toughts are just thoughts they dont have to materialise you just need to become stronger to combat them BUT once you become physical theres no going back and you cant deny it.

[JustME]

yes they are borne in the mind but you use bani to combat those thoughts and if you succeed in combating them then great but if you go ahead and make physical contact then thats bad..............what im saying is toughts are just thoughts they dont have to materialise you just need to become stronger to combat them BUT once you become physical theres no going back and you cant deny it.

i think folks are missing the context of what im saying..................im not saying that u would require pesh if u had one bad though.................im saying this in terms of kamaaee...............we live in kaljug.........temptation and corruption is part of our everyday lives in some way, shape or form...........but by purifying the mind.............our perspective of a person of the opposite sex is not clouded by the 5 chors..............."oh shes she/he fit?" = Kaam, "wow ppl would get so jelous if they saw me with her/him" = Hankar/Haumai "why is she/he talking to everyone but me" = Krodh and so on...........

im not saying that in a black and white sense, as "oh my god i just had a kaami thought i gotta go do pesh........." but u can go sit down and recite bani until these thoughts pass or go do seva or doing something positive to turn around a negative...........we can try and achknowledge and accept our weaknesses and negative traits but AT THE SAME TIME we have to be pro-active to do SOMETHING about it

How can an impure mind carry out pure actions?

lets apply this to the origional question asked?

IS having a relationship outside of marriage against sikh?

a relationship allows the mind to wonder and gives the 5 chors the equivilent to 5 aces at a poker match, now this is my humble opinion but a key pre-requisite to persure a "pure" relationship outside of an anand karaj one must work on purifying ones mind...........bcos once u mark your Jeevan like t-shirt with the permenant maker of paap...........wash and scrub u may the the daag will always remain........

hey these are just ramblings of a usless murakh so plz forgive any of my mistakes

[Guest peacemaker]

OK, so should "getting it on" only be to reproduce? What if after you're married, you do it for reproduction and pleasure. Is that wrong?

[Mutheeaa]

ibnw AnMd ibvwh qy Bugqy pr kI joie ] sux isKw gur kih Q~ky myrw isK n soie ]25]

binaa ana(n)dh bivaah thae bhugathae par kee joe || sun sikhaa gur kehi thhaakae maeraa sikh n soe ||25||

Without having Anand Karaj those who have sexual relationships. Listen O' Sikh the Guru states, he is not my Sikh.

Is that from SGGSji? Which ang?