Facial Hair Issue

[Guest gupt]

What makes you think hair under the chin is abnormal and can be removed if you feel like it, but hair on the lip is normal and cannot be removed? Many older women of any race/religion have hair under their chin as they have stopped removing it.

I cannot bleach the chin hair as its long and people would notice long blonde hair. Upper lip hair can be bleached as its shorter and therefore once bleached its not that noticeable ie it blends with my skin easily. Like I said I am not hairy but my skin is near enough white and its a problem as my hair is jet black.

Normally old ladies get chin hair because they have gone through the menopause. See article here on wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facial_hair 'Women are also capable of developing facial hair, especially after menopause, though typically significantly less than men.

[Guest guestSinghni]

I keep my hair. People tend to notice my eyebrow, upper lip, side facial and arm hair. Leg hair etc no one can see as I wear trousers. I don't do anything about the bushy eyebrow hairs and nothing about the arm hairs. I completely agree with the Sikhi point of view, everyone has hair so why are we all acting like we should have none. I want to keep my hair and this is why I keep it.

However it would be a lie to say that facial hair does not impair social interactions with people. Hair does have an impact on social relationships as people just stare at it eg job interviews/at work etc. I am very fair and have black hair so its very noticable. So I bleach my upper lip and side facial hair so its less noticable. I also get random thick hairs under my chin which I pluck using a tweezer. I know as a Sikh we are not supposed to remove hair but these chin hairs are abnormal and people stare at them. I have justified in my mind that it is ok to remove abnormal hair, keep all natural hair, and bleach natural hair where people stare and then I wear long sleeved tops to cover arm hair etc.

Its not ideal....I wish I did not have to bleach, pluck and buy clothes thinking about if it will show my hair. But thats life. I think bleaching would be justifiable.

It's ok to pluck abnormal hair? How would you know that’s abnormal/un-natural? Hair is hair, they're all the same. Society portrays facial hair as abnormal but this is kalyug, what would they know? Some girls do get under chin hair. It’s normal to get hair anywhere. Also, bleaching is just like cutting it because you're using another way to hide your hair, you might not be physically removing it but you're going against Vaheguru's will. It's your fear of people that’s causing you to go against gurmat. That's why Gurbani says to fear God to move closer to God. Sikhi is all about keeping hair because Bhai Taru Singh chose to die in a more painful way just to keep his hair intact. It has its spiritual significance. I'm not saying it’s easy to keep facial hair, but if you feel too weak to keep it, you shouldn't encourage others.

I also have facial hair so I know how it feels. To Topic starter, I can talk to you personally because it’s easier to share more things. If that’s ok with you, you can create a new email address and post it here.

[11Gurus1Jot]

@11Gurus1Jot - You have to admit though, the Gurus were way, way beyond any of us. We can't dream to emulate them. Our Gurus were capable of limitless feats. We, on the other hand, are well....a bit rubbish. :D Yet they had great hopes for us and they gave us a great blueprint to live our lives by.

Get married or stayed single - it's a topic that was discussed on sikhsangat prior to Christmas, and even then there were wildly differing opinions. Going by maryada, we've been instructed to get hitched so I suppose that's the way it must be.

As for the OP, your family should be ashamed of themselves for belittling you. Sikhs do have inherent issues with self-esteem and shenanigans like these aren't helping. You'll find a Singh who will respect you for adhering to your faith with such determination. Don't lose heart!

Big difference between emulating and following the Gurus' command. Following the Guru's command is NOT emulating!!!

Yes, Kaljugi is right! We should never try to emulate the Gurus. That's why if anyone called themselves a Guru today, they would be trying to emulate the 11 Gurus, (Final and eternal Guru being Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaaj).

However, like Kaljugi said, if we follow an order of the Gurus, than that is not emulating them, but bowing down to the Guru's (God's) will. So for example, not getting your hair sheared is the command of the Gurus, keeping your hair is not emulating the Gurus! And keeping your hair and marrying a Sikh who also keeps their hair, is not emulating the Gurus, but following the Gurus' command.

Anyone who wants to remain single as an Amritdhari is perfectly within Gurmat to do so!!!!

Anyone who believes Amritdharis shouldn't get married is mislead, and following a belief like that will get rid of the very Nation our Gurus started!!!!!

[AkalHeMaharajhai]

Khalsa ji,

I think we need to be a bit liberal here for the bibiya, you don't need to dig such a deep grave and worry about weather I should pluck hair use laser etc etc.

Just do what you feel comfortable doing, be comforable with youself, don't listen to these other bibi's that say the Guru will be angry blah blah blah.

Guru is sadah bakshind.

Do what you must and you will be better for yourself.

[Tera]

Khalsa ji,

I think we need to be a bit liberal here for the bibiya, you don't need to dig such a deep grave and worry about weather I should pluck hair use laser etc etc.

Just do what you feel comfortable doing, be comforable with youself, don't listen to these other bibi's that say the Guru will be angry blah blah blah.

Guru is sadah bakshind.

Do what you must and you will be better for yourself.

If your father asks you not to do something and you do it anyway, whats the state of that relationship? Where's the trust and respect?

We have all had Hukam from Dharam Pita Sri Guru Gobind Singh Jee to adhere to the Rehat and Maryada and we should therefore be trying to and helping others to do so as well...

And to bhenji, maybe talk to other Gursikh sisters who have/are going through similar thing, it may help, but above all do ardaas and stay strong...

jo tho praem khaelan kaa chaao ||

If you desire to play this game of love with Me,

sir dhhar thalee galee maeree aao ||

then step onto My Path with your head in hand.

eith maarag pair dhhareejai ||

When you place your feet on this Path,

sir dheejai kaan n keejai ||20||

give Me your head, and do not pay any attention to public opinion. ||20||

Full Shabad - http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=5475

Charan saran gur eaek paiddaa jaae chala

Walking one step towards the Guru's feet,

sath gur kott paiddaa aagae hoe laeth hai ||

the True Guru walks millions of steps to welcome you.

Full Shabad - http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=6591

[AkalHeMaharajhai]

Tera!

Point where have I said in my comment for that Bibi to go ahead and do a Kureaht?

Read what I have said I have asked to follow her to follow her heart, becaue that is what will guide her.

Let me guess Tera you do everything your father tell you ? Matha teahk deya tehnu!

[harinder kaur]

well, ive learnt a lot about sikhi..... i used to do my eyebrows, remove facial hair (on upperlip) well ive stopped with all this, and i want to seriously start to follow guru ji's path

at first i started with full confidence..

but now the facial hair is getting more....i get very insecure..

it feels like my classmates just stare at the hair,, my family would torture me, even my dad...

i just cant accept the fact... that this hair is coming back, and coming back worse..

i feel so sad, but i cant turn my guru ji down

some [close 2 me] recommend to do laser

how can i do this, this is fooling the world, but not fooling guru ji

but guru ji can do incredible things, he makes thing happen that never can

will guru ji listen to my ardas, reduce hair?

i feel ashamed asking this

but at this point ,

everyone who talks to me about this, cant imagine , caus they have not that much hair, or even dont have...

/quote]

phenji please contact me via personal message , I can share my experiences with you.

[OhTwadi]

Many times I get the feeling that we have made sikhi into a very masculine religion. A question to ponder, if a man were to develop breast tissue (it happens), would you say that it's also a gift of god and to just 'live with it'?

Another question to ponder, if someone were to get a disease, should they simply accept the disease and not get treatment for it? Do note that Gurbani clearly states and even something as little as the common cold is given to people by waheguruji.

Maafi is this is going completely off topic, but this was just something that came to me in my sleep deprived state.

Edit: I should also note that biba having 'excessive' facial hair appears to be a rather new phenomenon. If we look at our grandmothers, they usually rarely have much facial hair. I am of the opinion that food we eat these days is laden with chemicals, which interferes with the body's natural hormone balance and causes all sorts of problems.

To clarify my stance, I'm not advocating removal of hair, but rather, I'm advocating cleaning up our diets so we do not ingest unhealthy chemicals and screw up our hormone imbalance.

[VanHelsingh]

All the Singhnia I've ever met in my life have wonderfully thin eyebrows and not one errant hair above their lips or on the chin. So either they're all exceptionally blessed so as not to be prone to the human condition, or something dodgy is going on.

I wouldn't like to say as I reckon Waheguru provides for you if a person really believes.

[Tera]

Tera!

Point where have I said in my comment for that Bibi to go ahead and do a Kureaht?

Read what I have said I have asked to follow her to follow her heart, becaue that is what will guide her.

Let me guess Tera you do everything your father tell you ? Matha teahk deya tehnu!

Maaf karna, apologies if I said anything wrong. it was in response to the 'I think we need to be a bit liberal here for the bibiya'.

And no I don't do everything, nowhere even close... but I/we should all aim to try to hunna.