Marriage, The Perception Of Beards And Turbans, And The Future Of Our Religion (My Story)

[KhalistaniGunMan]

lol online rejections sangat says?, go to your local uk gurdwara matrimonials and see all this non-turban baqwaas on the list. I can say I went to the biggest gurdwara in uk in Southall, its full of turban hating kuris. This is absolute utter waste thinking from our uk sikh girls!

how dare they, I wish there were punjabi girls in the area I lived in, I would have a word and a half in their ears!

I am sure I could talk these girls away from hating turbans. However, most rishtay won't go face-to-face if they know I have a beard. I would love to chat to these girls personally, I would cause some kinds of fireworks. I am already trying to create some fireworks on facebook and twitter against these girls, just watch this space!!! Singh Sabha Southall matrimonials Facebook group admin told me off for causing trouble http://www.facebook....ps/41021874437/ hahaha

Anyway if sikh kuris aren;t gonna respect turbans, I am gonna cause trouble for them, mostly online cos theres very little chance of me meeting them in the area I live in, even though it is in west london, still....

I ain't the kinda person that uses emotional blackmail to support the turban, I use shock tactics and pure jatt agression, cos emotional blackmail sucks haha !

Also, I have dug myself into a deep hole because I am respecting my parents wished in only marrying a jatti. I could not commit the adharm of disrespecting my culture and my parents. And being adharmik is not what a guru ji's sikh practises!

Uk jattis are the most stuck up against paghs than any other uk sikh girl. Ironic, as jatts see pagh as highly respected, and to have it removed by someone is punishable by death from a jatt. So uk sikh jattis have forgotten both sikh and jatt cultural thinking which highly supports the turban!

Amyway California Sardar, I can pull goris from your areas just using the internet, so you should try it out. Your american sikh girls are less stuck up than the uk ones. However your girls might be more liberal, and I consider girls with exes as a no-go zone for anyone having a first marriage. Well when I say anyone, I really mean someone with annakh and sanskar, and cali sardar, if you're a jatt, you need those qualities. Don't fear, have confidence in yourself. Anyway all Guru jis khalsa should have these qualities!!! Dharmik thinking, and sanskar, izzat, laaj.

These turban hating sikh kuris better watch out, I am gonna make them cry! lemme at em!!!!

Here is a page I made to start off my campaign, more coming soon, please like my page for further updates! =)

https://www.facebook...256338197727303

For the first time on this forum..i agree with you on sikh girls....agression is the only way to deal with these pathetic exscuses for sikh women......i remember when i first got into sikhi....my dhari starting growing very bushy.....my sister (typical jatti type) said to me you look like a werewolf.....it didnt faze me.....i just laughed it off......then she said when your sleeping.....i will cut your beard off with a razor.....i looked at her with eyes wide open and said.....if you cut off my beard i will cut off your head!!! LOL Now she gives me no trouble and is actually afraid of me ...the problem is sikh men have become submissive to the women...dont get me wrong i got nothing against women..but sikh men grow some balls!!...be a MAN!!...as russel peter says...Be a Soldier!!...Be Singhs!!! and the sikh women will give you no trouble even if you have a bushy beard like me lol ...

[Singh559]

For the first time on this forum..i agree with you on sikh girls....agression is the only way to deal with these pathetic exscuses for sikh women......i remember when i first got into sikhi....my dhari starting growing very bushy.....my sister (typical jatti type) said to me you look like a werewolf.....it didnt faze me.....i just laughed it off......then she said when your sleeping.....i will cut your beard off with a razor.....i looked at her with eyes wide open and said.....if you cut off my beard i will cut off your head!!! LOL Now she gives me no trouble and is actually afraid of me ...the problem is sikh men have become submissive to the women...dont get me wrong i got nothing against women..but sikh men grow some balls!!...be a MAN!!...as russel peter says...Be a Soldier!!...Be Singhs!!! and the sikh women will give you no trouble even if you have a bushy beard like me lol ...

LOL, Singh that's hilarious, but i know what you mean. I faced similar things when i first kept kesh and the whole stigma of (loki ki kehnge) among relatives.

Relatives started to tell me to trim my beard and what kind of turban to wear and that you'll look like an "atvadi" with a flowing beard. It got annoying, you're right you need to be stead fast, but at the same time don't disrespect them. Don't pay attention to those fools, just keep treading the path.

I think we are giving less credit to our women, despite many being against proper Sikh saroop, many actually respect it and like it.

[Guru_Da_Chella]

I have to tie my beard cos of these stupid sikh girls. I look much better with open beard, but I am doing this beard tying thing while I look for marriage. Once I get marriage, my beard tying days finish!

Even the Singh uncle jees at gurdwara matrimonials at southall and hounslow say singh guys should tie their beards.

pathetic, what nonsense is this.

but this way I can open my beard whenever I feel like and also keep it tied. better than trimming, trimming persons cannot open their beards like true warriors grrr.

I saw we make this thread a sticky. Who agrees. This is one of the biggest problems in uk sikh sangat, but we hardly chat about it, too concerned with less important matters!...

I am not ready to forgive uk sikh girls!!!!!! This jatt will make them sorry for hating on our turbans! I will humiliate them, and then make sure that turban hating people become a minority in our sikh community!!!

[pedrorizzo]

You guys cant win this war by being aggressive and hostile towards women because of their tastes and preferences. You cant bully, embarass, scold or lecture them into believing that sikhi saroop is attractive and that they should marry men with dastaar and dara.

Alot of this is a problem with perception. By being a Singh, you are associating with the Singh brand. What does this represent to you, and what does it represent to the rest of the world, including our own women folk?

Look at the Singh brand nowadays? What does it represent? To some it represents, saints, warriors soldiers, brave, regal and noble men. This = attractive (category 1)

However, for some people it represents strict doctrine, sexist, backward conservative, rigid and old school, pindu cultural values. For others it represents lack of education, closed minded thinking, religious fundamentalism, maybe even terrorism. This = unattractive. (cateogory 2)

Unfortunately for us, Singhs come in all shapes and sizes. In India, a Singh is someone who dances bhangra and fills himself with liquor... A daler mehendi type figure fits this stereotype that most Indians outside of Punjab have of Singhs.

What negative stereotypes do UK girls possibly have about Singhs? They must have come in contact with some Singhs or some of those stereotype qualities in order to have formed that view.

As far as possible, you want your own branding to be associated with category 1 above and avoid cateogry 2, in order to be considered attractive. To change the situation all together, all Singhs need to associate with category 1 so that this becomes the norm and category 2 no longer exists. Only then will Singhs be considered attractive in the Punjabi mainstream, let alone outside the punjabi community.

[pedrorizzo]

As mentioned above, and just to summarise, I do not believe that this is an issue related to looks. It is associated with branding. By being a Singh, you now carry some kind of 'Singh brand'. This brand means different things to different people. For some it is positive and for others it is negative. This will be based on a multitude of factors, including direct personal experience that people have had of Singhs.

Some self reflection is required here as to how we as a kaum may have contributed to our own negative branding, if applicable.

[Singh559]

I've been told to tie my beard up as well.

If someone doesn't like a flowing beard, then that's that. Doesn't really bother me. I'm just going to be myself and that's that.

[californiasardar1]

You guys cant win this war by being aggressive and hostile towards women because of their tastes and preferences. You cant bully, embarass, scold or lecture them into believing that sikhi saroop is attractive and that they should marry men with dastaar and dara.

Alot of this is a problem with perception. By being a Singh, you are associating with the Singh brand. What does this represent to you, and what does it represent to the rest of the world, including our own women folk?

Look at the Singh brand nowadays? What does it represent? To some it represents, saints, warriors soldiers, brave, regal and noble men. This = attractive (category 1)

However, for some people it represents strict doctrine, sexist, backward conservative, rigid and old school, pindu cultural values. For others it represents lack of education, closed minded thinking, religious fundamentalism, maybe even terrorism. This = unattractive. (cateogory 2)

Unfortunately for us, Singhs come in all shapes and sizes. In India, a Singh is someone who dances bhangra and fills himself with liquor... A daler mehendi type figure fits this stereotype that most Indians outside of Punjab have of Singhs.

What negative stereotypes do UK girls possibly have about Singhs? They must have come in contact with some Singhs or some of those stereotype qualities in order to have formed that view.

As far as possible, you want your own branding to be associated with category 1 above and avoid cateogry 2, in order to be considered attractive. To change the situation all together, all Singhs need to associate with category 1 so that this becomes the norm and category 2 no longer exists. Only then will Singhs be considered attractive in the Punjabi mainstream, let alone outside the punjabi community.

These are all great points, and I alluded to them in my original post.

It is easy sometimes to get upset and blame Sikh women for "selling us out" or "turning their backs on us." It might even feel good sometimes to blow off some steam by blaming them this way. But the fact is, it is counterproductive. It does nothing to address the problem. It also fails to recognize that people are products of their environments.

Women have been conditioned to think of beards and turbans as unattractive. They usually see the image you labeled as category 2. As much as I, or some other people on this forum, might look at the Sikh sarup and see the majestic qualities of Guru Gobind Singh or the numerous gallant warriors in our history, it won't matter if women see something different.

The question is, how do we improve our "brand"?

It would be nice to have several prominent, visible handsome Singhs in the national/international spotlight to give us a better image. But I don't know where we would even start to get such people. Truthfully, we'll need some luck.

On the other hand, each of us can do our own small part. We should be vocal about our progressive views. Try to celebrate our religion and beliefs without coming off as judgmental or fundamentalists. Try to encourage rather than condemn. And, shallow as this may sound, we should at least try to be presentable when it comes to our appearances. For instance, walking around still wearing a patka while having a fully-grown beard just looks sloppy (and you see this a lot on college campuses).

[Singh559]

Pedro brought up a good point, a person needs to be self educated on the saroop and stay calm if someone doesn't accept it despite explaining it. Calmness is always needed.

Some people will never change their mind, best not to meddle with fools.

As bani says:

Moorake naal na lujiye

[hharpreet]

[singh154]

Bro forget marriage then you'll be chilled! Problem solved! Spend your time getting closer to Guru Ji instead