Why Can'T Sikhs Be Nice To Each?

[Gurukameet]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ka Fateh

Having experienced very little community support and kindness, from the Sikh community, I had come to the conclusion that there was logic to Sikhs behaviour. You see if we were nice to each other then it would go against Sikhi, we believe only in the Support of the Nam, everything else is farce. Great, I understand, then we are told, we need to be in a Sadh Sangat. But SIkhs all hate each other, how is that possible?? I come to terms with it by just listening and sitting in the Sadh sangat, anything more than that is a bonus.

In all the 13 years I have lived in the east end, I have no Sikh female friends, they do not socialise, will not talk, other than gossip, gossip and nastiness. I have put up with it and focus my attention only listening and praising the Nam. But having seen myself and son humiliated, by having to wait 2hours to perform nam simran and then he left crying. I left too after the programme. I have put up with much, time and time again, and kept always quiet, but I told the family who pushed there childrens group first. I was hurt, now, I was practically abused by the mother saying I should not have texted her that I was upset by the committees behaviour, leaving our kids out deliberately and laughing because my son cried.

We are such a small community, we have a great faith, why, can't we just be nice to each other. I have put up with so much rubbish, quietly and many, many times, felt that being in the SIkh community is a liability for females. It is. Help me. I can't, won't give up my faith but have given up with people in it, I tried to organise programmes for girls, no one turned up.

By being alone with the Nam in this world, is great, it has so many advantages. I need help myself in accepting that nastiness of Sikhs is a way to bring the individuals closer to God. I keep telling myself, that, but deep inside of me there is hope, that this will change. Help me to burn this hope.

[notoriousksj]

arrogance is rife amongst the youth, you only need to read some posts on here to see what there like

having been brought up with all singhs in the uk, id say i found out more about sikhi from either researching myself or other sikhs who werent singhs/ singhnia, arrogance and no brotherhood two biggest problems i would say in regards to sikhs not being 'nice' to each other

[Sukhmanii]

I'm sorry you've had such bad experiences with other Sikhs! I have not been in Sikhi very long but I too noticed the general nature of many females, so I really just stick to myself. Not everyone is like this though, I have encountered some wonderful Sikhs and I'm surprised that you haven't

[chatanga]

In all the 13 years I have lived in the east end, I have no Sikh female friends, they do not socialise, will not talk, other than gossip, gossip and nastiness. .

aren't you better off then?

poor friends are no friends at all.

[HSD1]

East London seems to be a breeding ground for weird self-defeating Sikhs. Move to a more middle class Sikh community in London, or move to somewhere else in the South East where there are more Sikhs/Sikh Schools.

[Gurukameet]

Sorry, I am letting off steam here, was really upset with numerous instances that have occurred. There are some wonderful Sikhs and know many many in the community, Sikhs young and old etc.. there are lots of them, I have many acquaintances. There some wonderful Sikh females, some I would go as far as saying great in the east end. But the opportunity to 'connect' on a spiritual level, discussing talking about issues, seriously and other things, there are not many, they are all too busy, well so am I. But not busy to help other people and I have always, but when it comes to people supporting me, all I see is backs turned and always, which is why I see the logic of our teachings, but I am only human and human being need 'real' friends. Or do they, why have I called myself Gurukameet, and my name is obvious, for one reason only, our only friend is our Guru, Guru Granth Sahib, so when instances like what happened on Sunday occur and this is not the first one of this kind, there have been numerous, I feel spiritually stabbed and other women's behaviour reinforcing my own poor views of SIkhs I feel really down and upset. When your only friend is the Guru and these things happen in the Gurdwara then it hurts even more, more than anything else hurts.

Sorry.

[Sukhmanii]

Sorry, I am letting off steam here, was really upset with numerous instances that have occurred. There are some wonderful Sikhs and know many many in the community, Sikhs young and old etc.. there are lots of them, I have many acquaintances. There some wonderful Sikh females, some I would go as far as saying great in the east end. But the opportunity to 'connect' on a spiritual level, discussing talking about issues, seriously and other things, there are not many, they are all too busy, well so am I. But not busy to help other people and I have always, but when it comes to people supporting me, all I see is backs turned and always, which is why I see the logic of our teachings, but I am only human and human being need 'real' friends. Or do they, why have I called myself Gurukameet, and my name is obvious, for one reason only, our only friend is our Guru, Guru Granth Sahib, so when instances like what happened on Sunday occur and this is not the first one of this kind, there have been numerous, I feel spiritually stabbed and other women's behaviour reinforcing my own poor views of SIkhs I feel really down and upset. When your only friend is the Guru and these things happen in the Gurdwara then it hurts even more, more than anything else hurts.

Sorry.

You don't have to apologise! And phenji I agree with you. People need to be supportive to any brother or sister rather than turning a blind eye, and there's certainly little room in Sikhi for slanderers and gossips.

[KhalistaniGunMan]

Sorry, I am letting off steam here, was really upset with numerous instances that have occurred. There are some wonderful Sikhs and know many many in the community, Sikhs young and old etc.. there are lots of them, I have many acquaintances. There some wonderful Sikh females, some I would go as far as saying great in the east end. But the opportunity to 'connect' on a spiritual level, discussing talking about issues, seriously and other things, there are not many, they are all too busy, well so am I. But not busy to help other people and I have always, but when it comes to people supporting me, all I see is backs turned and always, which is why I see the logic of our teachings, but I am only human and human being need 'real' friends. Or do they, why have I called myself Gurukameet, and my name is obvious, for one reason only, our only friend is our Guru, Guru Granth Sahib, so when instances like what happened on Sunday occur and this is not the first one of this kind, there have been numerous, I feel spiritually stabbed and other women's behaviour reinforcing my own poor views of SIkhs I feel really down and upset. When your only friend is the Guru and these things happen in the Gurdwara then it hurts even more, more than anything else hurts.

Sorry.

dont rely on anyone but the guru...i also got burnt by so called amritdharis...i learnt the hard way...but all people who are interested in coming into sikhi...make sure you do it for waheguru and yourself..dont do it for no one else..because deep down they dont care

[Singhstah]

East London seems to be a breeding ground for weird self-defeating Sikhs. Move to a more middle class Sikh community in London, or move to somewhere else in the South East where there are more Sikhs/Sikh Schools.

Generalisation much? Yes there's not that many Sikhs here and there are a fair share of problems (trust me i know!) but there are also many good gursikhs aswell. Just checkout the fortnightly youth show from 7 kings gurdwara on Sikh channel for instance, or the fact that the gurdwara is housing the majority of homeless Sikhs in this area every night, there are sevadars who go to see them every day, slowly helping them get back into normal. if you were watching the last east London youth show you would have seen there's even a polish gentleman growing his kesh because of the love and support he's received at the gurdwara.

Also I don't know what gives you the impression that Sikhs here aren't middle class, majority are doing very well, lots of successful businesses, loads of Sikhs are and have been mayors, councillors etc.

[VanHelsingh]

dont rely on anyone but the guru...i also got burnt by so called amritdharis...i learnt the hard way...but all people who are interested in coming into sikhi...make sure you do it for waheguru and yourself..dont do it for no one else..because deep down they dont care

+ 1. Spot on!