Asking someone what faith they belong to

[Big_Tera]

So I recently went on a date with hindu girl. I already had an inkling she was hindu due to the wrist thread she had on. But as it was a date kind of thing and to make conversation I asked her what faith she is. Ie Sikh or Hindu? I thought it was a perfectly reasonable question and not offensive to ask. However she seemed to take offence of why I asked her this question. I had no intention of causing her offence or making her feel uncomfortable. I replied that I dont care what faith she is and was only making conversation.  it was a date kind of thing. So dont I have a right to ask what faith she is? 

Anyway a few months down the line I met some guy at an IT course that I am doing as an evening class. He's a muslim and we have small chats now and then. To be honest I dont know him that well. Anyway I dont usually wear a Kara. We got talking and low and behold he asked me what faith I was and if I am Sikh from Punjab. I think he had an inkling I am Punjabi but was not sure what faith I was due to not wearing a kara and the fact Ive never mentioned anything to do with faith.

At the time I did not take offence and thought it was someone who was just being inquisitive. I think he presumed I was either Sikh or Hindu but was not sure which one. But after I thought about it. I did feel it was kind of rude or odd to ask someone you hardly know what faith they belong to? It got me thinking maybe it is offensive to ask people their faith if you hardly know them. I dont usually ask anyone what their religion they are. As its something that is personal and we feel sensitive and protective about it. But this was a date thing and so I thought it was harmless to ask. But she obviously did not like the question ans felt a bit awqward. It got me thinking how a harmless question can actually cause offence to people. So maybe we should not ask anyone what faith they are if we hardly know them?

 

 

 

 

[puzzled]

Iv never asked anyine what religion the are, some people don't like it ...

[Big_Tera]

1 hour ago, puzzled said:

Iv never asked anyine what religion the are, some people don't like it ...

Me either unless absolutely necessary such as in this date scenario. I think some people ask who are just curious and others who can come across as disrespectful.  

I have noticed muslims are the ones that ask the most. Maybe as they want to know who they are dealing with. So they can filter their comments. 

Alot of the time you dont need to ask as it is obvious what faith someone is. 

[MisterrSingh]

Some people from a Sikh background don't like acknowledging the religion of their ancestors. I think, in their minds, it undermines the belief they've been fed that religion is unimportant, and that character, personality, and integrity are paramount. Unfortunately, when you come across a member of a particular faith that is somewhat aggressively persistent in their religiosity, lol, you've immediately ceded a certain amount of social ground/space, and placed yourself on the backfoot from the outset. 

 

 

[Amit12]

3 hours ago, Big_Tera said:

So I recently went on a date with a girl. She is a hindu girl. I already had an inkling she was hindu due to the wrist thread she had on. But as it was a date kind of thing and to make conversation I asked her what faith she was. Ie Sikh or Hindu?

I thought it was a perfectly reasonable question and inoffensive. However she seemed to take offence of why I asked her this question. Ie what faith she belongs to. 

I had no intention of causing her offence or making her uncomfortable. I replied that I dont care what faith she is and was only making conversation.  it was a date kind of thing. So dont I have a right to ask what faith she is? 

Anyway a few months down the line I met some guy at an IT course that I am doing as an evening class.

He is a muslim we have a small chats now and them. To be honest I dont know him that well. 

Anyway I dont usually wear a Kara. We got talking and low and behold he asked me what faith I was and if I am Sikh.I think he had an inkling I am Punjabi but was not sure what faith I was due to not wearing a kara and the fact Ive never mentioned anything to do with faith.

At the time I did not take offence and thought it was someone who was just being inquisitive. I think he presumed I was either Sikh or Hindu but was not sure which one. 

But after I thought about, it was kind of rude or odd to ask someone you hardly know what faith they belong to? Ie is it a rude question to ask someone?

It got me thinking maybe it is offensive to ask people their faith if you hardly know them. I dont usually ask anyone what their religion they are and never really have done. As its something that is personal and we feel sensitive and protective about it. 

But this was a date thing and so I thought it was harmless to ask. But she obviously did not like the question. It got me thinking how a harmless question can actually cause offence to people. So maybe we should not ask anyone what faith they are if we hardly know them?

 

 

 

 

Know the difference when you're on a DATE and when casual Chit Chatting.... Be a Gentleman when you're on a Date, Dont be Stupid.

[Wicked Warrior]

In the UK, religion has been belittled and hidden. Not allowed to wear crosses if you’re christian. Not allowed to talk about religion if you’re in some sort of profession. It’s all secularised. Personal but not public. You might as well have asked her if she shaves her bikini zone. 

It can be difficult based on name or appearance alone to determine the faith of someone and they may take measures to disguise or even abandon it. Others may feel they are judged based on their religion rather than their personality. 

[puzzled]

24 minutes ago, Wicked Warrior said:

You might as well have asked her if she shaves her bikini zone. 

[kcmidlands]

5 hours ago, Big_Tera said:

So I recently went on a date with hindu girl. I already had an inkling she was hindu due to the wrist thread she had on. But as it was a date kind of thing and to make conversation I asked her what faith she is. Ie Sikh or Hindu? I thought it was a perfectly reasonable question and not offensive to ask. However she seemed to take offence of why I asked her this question. I had no intention of causing her offence or making her feel uncomfortable. I replied that I dont care what faith she is and was only making conversation.  it was a date kind of thing. So dont I have a right to ask what faith she is? 

Anyway a few months down the line I met some guy at an IT course that I am doing as an evening class. He's a muslim and we have small chats now and then. To be honest I dont know him that well. Anyway I dont usually wear a Kara. We got talking and low and behold he asked me what faith I was and if I am Sikh from Punjab. I think he had an inkling I am Punjabi but was not sure what faith I was due to not wearing a kara and the fact Ive never mentioned anything to do with faith.

At the time I did not take offence and thought it was someone who was just being inquisitive. I think he presumed I was either Sikh or Hindu but was not sure which one. But after I thought about it. I did feel it was kind of rude or odd to ask someone you hardly know what faith they belong to? It got me thinking maybe it is offensive to ask people their faith if you hardly know them. I dont usually ask anyone what their religion they are. As its something that is personal and we feel sensitive and protective about it. But this was a date thing and so I thought it was harmless to ask. But she obviously did not like the question ans felt a bit awqward. It got me thinking how a harmless question can actually cause offence to people. So maybe we should not ask anyone what faith they are if we hardly know them?

Us brown folk do have a slight advantage over other's, our names tend to give away our religion (in most cases), either way, unless their beliefs or faith will directly impact you in some negative way there's really no reason to ask, i have a good friend I've known for over 20 years, i only found out recently he's an atheist, it never really crossed my mind to ask him his religion.

[puzzled]

Yeah true religion is a tricky subject in the UK. People are hesitant to talk about it or even bring the subject up, let alone ask someone which religion they belong to.  

I think it's even harder for white people to bring it up among ethnic people.

If someone brings it up at work in the staff canteen, it's always a bit awkward and people sweat a little and are careful of what they saying haha 

I'm always open to people asking me anything though 

A few weeks ago at work this young white guy who was covering someone asked me if I'm a religious sikh or if Im a sikh who dates and drinks, because he said he knows a really religious sikh girl who wears a turban and doesn't date, and then he knows many sikhs who date white people and drink, I just said I'm the traditional type and I don't date or drink.  So some people are open to asking questions I guess 

[InderjitS]

For the youngsters out there or those new to Sikhi, it's not ok for a true seeker to date.