Fellow Parents advice/guidance No children please

[Guest Sadi]

On 9/9/2020 at 10:08 AM, jkvlondon said:

none of our oldies married because of love and yet they managed to develop it , raise families etc  to much emphasis is placed on 'love' when people do not understand what that actually is , they think it is something they've read or seen in books and films , it is not lust or the kind of mental idiocy that smacks of codependency. Love is the unconditional acceptance of the other person, nothing more or less, and that is closer to the ideal that Guru Sahiban placed in front of us rather than the romantic fantasies bandied about

God is Love and love is God. That’s the main reason why the the SGGS puts a great deal of Emphasis on love. As Sikhs, we are to love our fellow human beings.  SEX or having SEX has nothing to do with Love. Sex rules our minds, our egos, our flesh whereas, love RULES our HEARTS and SOULS!!!  We can love someone without ever having SEX WITH THEM!!!  Love is way too above sex!! It is far too supreme and far too Divine in comparison to that filth called lust or sex!

Love is  NOT ONLY unconditional acceptance of “ANOTHER PERSON ONLY”” IT IS AN UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE OF HIS HUKAM and His Creation including our fellow human beings! THAT’s is LOVE. LOVE IS NOT LUST.

The other CRAP that the likes of you and your lot identify as love is exactly and absolutely the same CRAP coming out of all the film industries all over the world, big or small.

To refer to our elders as “our oldies” proves you have a scornful and judgemental attitude and character towards our elders or our ancestors. If you knew what love is you would display enormous amount of decorum towards our older generations, but you don’t! What are your children, if you have any, learning from you? They are also learning your scornful language as well as attitude to carry on successfully well into the next generation, the next cycle! Love also means to feel compassion for everyone. Without compassion you are as bad as an animal. So, if you feel no respect for your elders, the least you can do is address them in a respectful manner out of compassion!! You can stop your scornful and judgemental attitude from being carried through to the next generation  by not demonstrating it or teaching it to your children,  out of compassion for them!! Now that’s is love in its PUREST FORM. Even the purest form of love IS ROMANTIC!!  SEX HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ROMANCE! Do you even have an inkling what the world’s greatest  visionaries romanticised on?  What about the world’s GREATEST IDEALISTS?  They also romanticise a great deal but IT has nothing to do with girl - boy relationship or sex!!
 

The trouble is that your minds are so grimy and muddy from one generation to the next that the very Divine words that were meant to transform you lot to superior human beings have come to be misinterpreted as grimy and muddy by your own very grimy and muddy minds!!  For you lot, words such as “love” or “compassion”” have become dirty words. Why, because your minds are so dirty.

Your mentioning of “Guru Sahiban” and what they “placed in front of you” proves your hypocrisy and your endeavour to cover up your grotty mind, your pretence that you are a gentle caring soul!  Don’t ever forget that the Guru whom you keep mentioning so loosely in your post is a A KNOWER OF ALL HEARTS AND MINDS! Nothing is ever hidden from Him. 

[Guest Hazara]

On 9/10/2020 at 4:07 PM, Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh said:

^ That sounds nice but is in fact just something that would look good on paper, i.e. 'the books and films' that you mentioned. In reality, 'love' is just a 4 letter word that is over-used. If you take me and the missus for example - and all couples are the same - I don't 'love' her. I'm simply attached to her because I've grown fond of having her around. Just like my arm. I don't 'love' my arm but I like having it with me in situations and would be lost without it. I like my arm. 

Now...that's ^ 85% of it. There's also another 15% and that is something called 'majboori'. A good moral upright person needs to have discipline. He or she needs to live a disciplined life. The majboori of sticking with your spouse and raising children together is vital to that good discipline. 

And there you have it: Good discipline and growing slightly fond of someone is what a real good marriage is actually about. You're bandying the word 'love' around without having a proper understanding of it.

What a loveless sad arrangement? 

[ipledgeblue]

15 hours ago, Guest Hazara said:

What a loveless sad arrangement? 

people grow into Love. Instead of just getting someone you fancy and calling that Love!

[jkvlondon]

22 hours ago, Guest Sadi said:

God is Love and love is God. That’s the main reason why the the SGGS puts a great deal of Emphasis on love. As Sikhs, we are to love our fellow human beings.  SEX or having SEX has nothing to do with Love. Sex rules our minds, our egos, our flesh whereas, love RULES our HEARTS and SOULS!!!  We can love someone without ever having SEX WITH THEM!!!  Love is way too above sex!! It is far too supreme and far too Divine in comparison to that filth called lust or sex!

Love is  NOT ONLY unconditional acceptance of “ANOTHER PERSON ONLY”” IT IS AN UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE OF HIS HUKAM and His Creation including our fellow human beings! THAT’s is LOVE. LOVE IS NOT LUST.

The other CRAP that the likes of you and your lot identify as love is exactly and absolutely the same CRAP coming out of all the film industries all over the world, big or small.

To refer to our elders as “our oldies” proves you have a scornful and judgemental attitude and character towards our elders or our ancestors. If you knew what love is you would display enormous amount of decorum towards our older generations, but you don’t! What are your children, if you have any, learning from you? They are also learning your scornful language as well as attitude to carry on successfully well into the next generation, the next cycle! Love also means to feel compassion for everyone. Without compassion you are as bad as an animal. So, if you feel no respect for your elders, the least you can do is address them in a respectful manner out of compassion!! You can stop your scornful and judgemental attitude from being carried through to the next generation  by not demonstrating it or teaching it to your children,  out of compassion for them!! Now that’s is love in its PUREST FORM. Even the purest form of love IS ROMANTIC!!  SEX HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ROMANCE! Do you even have an inkling what the world’s greatest  visionaries romanticised on?  What about the world’s GREATEST IDEALISTS?  They also romanticise a great deal but IT has nothing to do with girl - boy relationship or sex!!
 

The trouble is that your minds are so grimy and muddy from one generation to the next that the very Divine words that were meant to transform you lot to superior human beings have come to be misinterpreted as grimy and muddy by your own very grimy and muddy minds!!  For you lot, words such as “love” or “compassion”” have become dirty words. Why, because your minds are so dirty.

Your mentioning of “Guru Sahiban” and what they “placed in front of you” proves your hypocrisy and your endeavour to cover up your grotty mind, your pretence that you are a gentle caring soul!  Don’t ever forget that the Guru whom you keep mentioning so loosely in your post is a A KNOWER OF ALL HEARTS AND MINDS! Nothing is ever hidden from Him. 

whoa there, I never agreed that 'love' of the media kind was anything close to what I Believe true love it to be . Without acceptance you will never be able to let go of anything here, I am just doorway for the future generations of Akal Purakh's children , can you say that and mean it? Can you let go of family that are determined to follow their karams rather than walk towards naam ? Can you do sewa and look after people who actively hate you and your sikhi for decades without complaint ? because I have done and am still doing and it makes others feel I am crazy , no skin off my nose. I have the utmost respect for my elders and so does my husband despite what you surmised. So much 'pointless' negativity magicked from one word I used in moment  to show a loving happiness and closeness to them I feel despite their passing - they made me strong enough to even try to follow sikhi. I am a product of the millions of sacrifices of previous generations  so, no my mentality is not anti-sikhi despite your false premise.

[Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh]

19 hours ago, Guest Hazara said:

What a loveless sad arrangement? 

I'm glad you put a question mark at the end of your own statement because you're very right to doubt yourself. It's true, you really do not know the difference between love, lust and attachment. 

Now......in this time we're living in, where everything 'white' is the default - or considered the 'norm', ignorant and uneducated 'brown' folk start to see things through white eyes because they've been conditioned into seeing the white view as the normal view. So, you'll get ignorant and uneducated and, dare I say 'un-woke' brown folk thinking that 'attachment' is a selfish thing done purely to elevate one's own feelings or needs. But that, like everything else 'white', is 10 gallons of $h1t in a 5 gallon hat. Being 'attached' to one's spouse in our eastern culture, has nother to do with the self but more for the off-spring that didn't ask to come into this world but you brought them into this world regardless. A husband and wife are attached to each other as one for the benefit of nurturing, feeding, educated and providing joy to their off-spring. 

Of course, in our father's house there are many mansions so you will find different beliefs among many different cultures. The white man's got his and because he's fairly new to the idea of enlightened thought compared to the eastern world his ideas of of what 'love' is and what 'attachment' is fairly childish. But I'm brown. I couldn't give 2 $h1ts about the white man's viewpoint.

[Guest jigsaw_puzzled-singh]

On 9/12/2020 at 2:43 PM, jkvlondon said:

a partnership based on common ideas (belief in Akal Purakh, Honesty etc) , tolerance of the other foibles and all i.e. acceptance as I mentioned , yes discipline of making it work for you , your partner and your kids security, health and sanity. Worldly love is often used as a excuse for the worst sins I don't see it as an ideal  in any form .

Would you like to get into a debate with me about the word 'love' jkvlondon ?  If so, what, in your opinion, is the origin of the Punjabi word for love ; 'Ishq' ?

[Guest Hazara]

On 9/14/2020 at 8:35 AM, ipledgeblue said:

people grow into Love. Instead of just getting someone you fancy and calling that Love!

Ah, sure, like they grow into their oversized clothes and egos!! As a matter of fact, they become so oversized that you can literally see their bellies hanging  out of their shirts because they can’t button up!! In the case of women, their clothes become too undersized  for the pleasure of pervert onlookers, as their love for their spouses grows and grows and grows! Thank you for the brainwashing!  No love lost here!

[jkvlondon]

On 9/15/2020 at 11:28 PM, Guest jigsaw_puzzled-singh said:

Would you like to get into a debate with me about the word 'love' jkvlondon ?  If so, what, in your opinion, is the origin of the Punjabi word for love ; 'Ishq' ?

ishq is an inserted word from persian /arabian roots and has more to do with an asthetic of burning romantic love as professed by written characters of sassi puno , heer ranjha ilk . I am sure it may have had a higher meaning to do with pure love of Akal Purakh but has been conflated with human lust/obession  to sell the idea of humans having such a pure form of connection that it rises above the true nature of material love .

[Guest jigsaw_puzzled-singh]

5 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

ishq is an inserted word from persian /arabian roots and has more to do with an asthetic of burning romantic love as professed by written characters of sassi puno , heer ranjha ilk . I am sure it may have had a higher meaning to do with pure love of Akal Purakh but has been conflated with human lust/obession  to sell the idea of humans having such a pure form of connection that it rises above the true nature of material love .

See I was testing you to see if you were capable of thinking for yourself or would go down the wikipedia route.  You went down the wikipedia route. 

Know this about our language (Punjabi) and all it's neighbouring languages - The Muslims have overstated the influence of Arabic into everything. Because, in their hearts, they want there to be an Arabic root for a word, they find one whether it's actually true or not. So, when it comes to the Punjabi word for love 'Ishq' wikipedia will state what the 200 million Muslims say is the origin of it. The truth however, is that our ancestors in Punjab - pre-bhuddism and hinduism - along with much of central asia, had a diety which was female and considered the godess of love / sex etc. You may have read about in western books about ancient history as the temple of ishtar. That word ' isht' which over the years became ishq has been used by the people of Punjab / Afghanistan / Iran etc thousands of years before Islam was even created or the first Arabic speaker ever stepped foot on that soil. 

So, my question to you was about origin so on that you're wrong but you are right - it is all about desire.

[GurjantGnostic]

16 hours ago, Guest jigsaw_puzzled-singh said:

See I was testing you to see if you were capable of thinking for yourself or would go down the wikipedia route.  You went down the wikipedia route. 

Know this about our language (Punjabi) and all it's neighbouring languages - The Muslims have overstated the influence of Arabic into everything. Because, in their hearts, they want there to be an Arabic root for a word, they find one whether it's actually true or not. So, when it comes to the Punjabi word for love 'Ishq' wikipedia will state what the 200 million Muslims say is the origin of it. The truth however, is that our ancestors in Punjab - pre-bhuddism and hinduism - along with much of central asia, had a diety which was female and considered the godess of love / sex etc. You may have read about in western books about ancient history as the temple of ishtar. That word ' isht' which over the years became ishq has been used by the people of Punjab / Afghanistan / Iran etc thousands of years before Islam was even created or the first Arabic speaker ever stepped foot on that soil. 

So, my question to you was about origin so on that you're wrong but you are right - it is all about desire.

You literally just agreed with Bhenji but have no idea apparently.