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AjeetSingh2019

Wife graduates from passive-aggressive to full blown aggressive behavior and creates chaos in family

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19 minutes ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

I am already married you <banned word filter activated> ! And my wife's carrying a baby , my baby. Problem with ppl like you is you can't afford to give up your homophobic attitudes or help create a more just society, but the side effect of that is a gay marries your sister. So why whine . 

I have not denigrated you for your sexuality. 

If you were straight I would offer you the same advice.

Whatever your sexual orientation, you are an adult. Start acting like one.

I can't really help you beyond this point. You clearly need counselling,  get some help.

I wish you all the best!

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1 hour ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

You ppl are the same men who sprout homophobia and you heterosexuals  created a society wherein it's almost impossible for a gay guy to accept himself let alone find another guy.

You ppl created this situation and when a gay guy finally gives up and gives in to his insecurities and family pressures and marry a woman, you ppl hv a problem with that too.

 

This is entirely your doing. Stamping your feet and pinning blame on other peoples and institutions is a weak move. Take responsibility for your actions. The CIS-het patriarchal structure didn't marry your woman under duplicitous circumstances; that was all you. Own your decisions. Good luck, brother. You're a top guy in a terrible situation. I wish I could do more for you.

Edited by MisterrSingh

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1 hour ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

Why the heck are u saying this ?

We are already on our path to have a baby. She's not going to divorce me. That's not an option for her either. I respect her and in the past sympathized with her until she started with her schemes. Remember, I have not yet enumerated her saazishes here 

You ppl are the same men who sprout homophobia and you heterosexuals  created a society wherein it's almost impossible for a gay guy to accept himself let alone find another guy.

You ppl created this situation and when a gay guy finally gives up and gives in to his insecurities and family pressures and marry a woman, you ppl hv a problem with that too.

 

"I respect her and in the past sympathized with her until she started with her schemes." 

You are delusional,  you are talking about schemes,  when you , yourself are the biggest schemer. 

 

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2 hours ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

Why the heck are u saying this ?

We are already on our path to have a baby. She's not going to divorce me. That's not an option for her either. I respect her and in the past sympathized with her until she started with her schemes. Remember, I have not yet enumerated her saazishes here 

You ppl are the same men who sprout homophobia and you heterosexuals  created a society wherein it's almost impossible for a gay guy to accept himself let alone find another guy.

You ppl created this situation and when a gay guy finally gives up and gives in to his insecurities and family pressures and marry a woman, you ppl hv a problem with that too.

 

Having a baby doesn't mean married couples don't split up, I've got no idea how old you are but you sound like a teenage brat with half the stuff you've written, the other half sounds like you've been watching too many Star Plus drama's.

If you, for one moment, thought you were gay then you should have been man enough to own up to it and delay any wedding but instead you seem to blame everyone else for your own mess, typical snowflake generation. Your going to have a child, man up and grow up, that woman's your wife, if nothing else the laavan must mean something to you, stop blaming other people for your crap.

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Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh

You people really do need to stop giving serious advice and answering questions asked by ajeetsinghpunjabi in multiple threads about his 'marriage'. He ruined a poor girl's life by not telling her that he is actually a homosexual and I think it is absolutely disgraceful that most of you here are treating him as if he is a good decent person. He's not. Not because he's a homosexual but for the fact that he has ruined a poor girl's life. For that, each and every one of us should treat him as the disgusting creature he is.

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On 6/18/2019 at 4:25 AM, Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh said:

You people really do need to stop giving serious advice and answering questions asked by ajeetsinghpunjabi in multiple threads about his 'marriage'. He ruined a poor girl's life by not telling her that he is actually a homosexual and I think it is absolutely disgraceful that most of you here are treating him as if he is a good decent person. He's not. Not because he's a homosexual but for the fact that he has ruined a poor girl's life. For that, each and every one of us should treat him as the disgusting creature he is.

I am sorry. But i dont think he ruined the girls life. She is getting a kid. She is getting taken care of. 

What more does the woman need? Romance is such a western concept.

Also its not only Ajeets fault. The girl also agreed to the marriage. 

Also, we should be celebrating that our culture in india is able to "fix" gays or at least let them be part of society. The catholic church with their conversion therapy and the mormons who brainwash the gay men to marry and have families, could only wish they had the success indians do. The gay men themselves are choosing to marry and having kids. Ofc its due to societal pressure but in this case a good cause. 

I mean what other alternative do you want for gay men? To join the priesthood and then have scandals erupt years later as the catholics did? Because there r so many gay men in the catholic church, they have their own political group called the lavendar mafia. They vote for liberal reforms destroying the traditions of the church , and have tried to hide the sexual scandal and let the offenders go free. 

Or do u want there to be a gay scene like in USA where gay men have the highest rates of HIV and promiscuity? 

Ofc we can have gay marriage so they can be monogamous and not have HIV etc. But what about our religious ceremonies? Its just not possible..

So marriage without love on both sides is perfect. In the olden days, arranged marriages were such that u were thankful if ur chosen spouse was healthy. One of my great aunts in India, is still bitter because she was married of to an infertile man. Because he had mumps as a kid which attacks the testes. Another of my great uncles family only found out after their first kid that his wife has epilepsy. They were angry that the wifes family hid it. But what was the wifes family to do? Noone would have married the girl otherwise..

My 2nd cousin married a girl from canada with bone issues. They break with any weight. So she is wheel chair bound and now their daughter also cant walk. But he was glad to marry her so he could come to the west. 

Marriage has always been a transanction in the east. And each side tries to hide the defects and get the highest price. 

There is a mentally retarded man at our gurudwara. And he is getting married to a girl from india. The girl from india is quite ok with it. She will be able to help her whole family to the west and she says she will get to lead a pious life with no kids and do seva of the guy. 

So i dont get ur guys attitude. Wat else could he have done? I guess he could have told her during the engagement talk or advertised for a lesbian...

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1 hour ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

I am sorry. But i dont think he ruined the girls life. She is getting a kid. She is getting taken care of. 

What more does the woman need? Romance is such a western concept.

Also its not only Ajeets fault. The girl also agreed to the marriage. 

Also, we should be celebrating that our culture in india is able to "fix" gays or at least let them be part of society. The catholic church with their conversion therapy and the mormons who brainwash the gay men to marry and have families, could only wish they had the success indians do. The gay men themselves are choosing to marry and having kids. Ofc its due to societal pressure but in this case a good cause. 

I mean what other alternative do you want for gay men? To join the priesthood and then have scandals erupt years later as the catholics did? Because there r so many gay men in the catholic church, they have their own political group called the lavendar mafia. They vote for liberal reforms destroying the traditions of the church , and have tried to hide the sexual scandal and let the offenders go free. 

Or do u want there to be a gay scene like in USA where gay men have the highest rates of HIV and promiscuity? 

Ofc we can have gay marriage so they can be monogamous and not have HIV etc. But what about our religious ceremonies? Its just not possible..

So marriage without love on both sides is perfect. In the olden days, arranged marriages were such that u were thankful if ur chosen spouse was healthy. One of my great aunts in India, is still bitter because she was married of to an infertile man. Because he had mumps as a kid which attacks the testes. Another of my great uncles family only found out after their first kid that his wife has epilepsy. They were angry that the wifes family hid it. But what was the wifes family to do? Noone would have married the girl otherwise..

My 2nd cousin married a girl from canada with bone issues. They break with any weight. So she is wheel chair bound and now their daughter also cant walk. But he was glad to marry her so he could come to the west. 

Marriage has always been a transanction in the east. And each side tries to hide the defects and get the highest price. 

There is a mentally retarded man at our gurudwara. And he is getting married to a girl from india. The girl from india is quite ok with it. She will be able to help her whole family to the west and she says she will get to lead a pious life with no kids and do seva of the guy. 

So i dont get ur guys attitude. Wat else could he have done? I guess he could have told her during the engagement talk or advertised for a lesbian...

How can a foundation be built on a lie, this has nothing to do with homosexuality,  if he is gay so what. The problem stems from the girl doesn't know, I don't know where it is written you can do anand karaj based on a lie. This guy went in front of Guru Granth Sahib ji and lied.

 

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19 minutes ago, Redoptics said:

How can a foundation be built on a lie, this has nothing to do with homosexuality,  if he is gay so what. The problem stems from the girl doesn't know, I don't know where it is written you can do anand karaj based on a lie. This guy went in front of Guru Granth Sahib ji and lied.

 

Notcool2argue hit the nail on the head.

You think like a westerner in that you think in ideals. 

The eastern way is one based in pragmatism. 

An Anand Karaj to a western Sikh is based on ideals and means something more.

Anand Karaj to an Eastern Sikh is not necessarily based on an ideal and is more means to an end.

A woman's idea of marriage is based on practicality.

It is us men who are the idealists and romantics.

Ajeet's wife is moving more rural Punjab from an impoverished background to a middle class well to do family in a cosmopolitan city is a step up for her.

Women marry up. It's called hypergamy. 

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13 minutes ago, Redoptics said:

How can a foundation be built on a lie, this has nothing to do with homosexuality,  if he is gay so what. The problem stems from the girl doesn't know, I don't know where it is written you can do anand karaj based on a lie. This guy went in front of Guru Granth Sahib ji and lied.

 

How did he lie? No one asks u if ur gay. I  think even if a guy admitted to being gay, noone would disqualify them from marriage in india. Parents and inlaws would just expect u to suck up ur wants and fantasies and to manage ur feelings and live a virtous family life. 

Girls have been married off for millenia without taking their wants into consideration. Marriage was their life occupation, there was no out to it. Now men too are bound to it, whether gay or not. Parents demand an heir esp if only son. My cousin wants to be behungum/ celibate baba but his parents wont hear of it. 

 

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1 minute ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

How did he lie? No one asks u if ur gay. I  think even if a guy admitted to being gay, noone would disqualify them from marriage in india. Parents and inlaws would just expect u to suck up ur wants and fantasies and to manage ur feelings and live a virtous family life. 

Girls have been married off for millenia without taking their wants into consideration. Marriage was their life occupation, there was no out to it. Now men too are bound to it, whether gay or not. Parents demand an heir esp if only son. My cousin wants to be behungum/ celibate baba but his parents wont hear of it. 

 

Not2cool2argue lol funny name, if you do not realise that a homosexual didn't tell a heterosexual of their sexuality before marriage,  is not a lie you need your head sorting out. Plus this done infront of our Gurus presence. This world has gone insane.

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2 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

The eastern way is one based in pragmatism. 

The western way was also one of pragmatism until recently relatively speaking. "Love" seems to have crept into the equation around the time society was entering the period where individualistic feelings and desires were seen to be preferable to reason and foresight. And here we are. But wait... there's more! 😁

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22 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Notcool2argue hit the nail on the head.

You think like a westerner in that you think in ideals. 

The eastern way is one based in pragmatism. 

An Anand Karaj to a western Sikh is based on ideals and means something more.

Anand Karaj to an Eastern Sikh is not necessarily based on an ideal and is more means to an end.

A woman's idea of marriage is based on practicality.

It is us men who are the idealists and romantics.

Ajeet's wife is moving more rural Punjab from an impoverished background to a middle class well to do family in a cosmopolitan city is a step up for her.

Women marry up. It's called hypergamy. 

Yeah let's marry all our daughters to gays. Do you even know what the laavaan mean? 

"Ajeet's wife is moving more rural Punjab from an impoverished background to a middle class well to do family in a cosmopolitan city is a step up for her."

Yeah that's not based on maya. 

Edited by Redoptics

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24 minutes ago, Redoptics said:

Yeah let's marry all our daughters to gays. Do you even know what the laavaan mean? 

"Ajeet's wife is moving more rural Punjab from an impoverished background to a middle class well to do family in a cosmopolitan city is a step up for her."

Yeah that's not based on maya. 

You just proved my point. 

I know what lavaan means. You are an honourable person.

But because you follow the maryada and approach it in the right manner does not mean others will.

It is this one thing that is the flaw of us well-meaning Sikhs.

 

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30 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

The western way was also one of pragmatism until recently relatively speaking. "Love" seems to have crept into the equation around the time society was entering the period where individualistic feelings and desires were seen to be preferable to reason and foresight. And here we are. But wait... there's more! 😁

Marriage was always a pragmatic arrangement. The notions of it being a spiritual union  came much later.

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39 minutes ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

How did he lie? No one asks u if ur gay. I  think even if a guy admitted to being gay, noone would disqualify them from marriage in india. Parents and inlaws would just expect u to suck up ur wants and fantasies and to manage ur feelings and live a virtous family life. 

Girls have been married off for millenia without taking their wants into consideration. Marriage was their life occupation, there was no out to it. Now men too are bound to it, whether gay or not. Parents demand an heir esp if only son. My cousin wants to be behungum/ celibate baba but his parents wont hear of it. 

 

On point!

Redoptics is finding this hard to grasp.

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