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punjabi Hindus speaking bad about bhappaa girls!


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I studied in a school in Ludhiana where about 50% of the boys were Hindus.So I meet some of my old schoolmates once in a while.

All of them say that Sikhism is great religion but the bhappaa girls in cities pretend to be true sikh but r loose charactered females.

I feel really bad when they say this.

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Women are going to women. They're drawn to the male of whichever group they perceive (rightly or wrongly) will provide them with resources and protection in the most basic sense. For a minority s

Sure, if you go to the extreme, a Singh with prospects and assets will not be viewed as unfavorably a mona with no job and no assets. But the universe of potential partners for a woman doesn't consist

Thing is what's the Sikh female equivalent of a keshdhari man? With males it's: 1. Amritdhari / 2. Keshdhari (non-baptised) /  3. Monah (The above is purely on an external basis, not indicat

2 minutes ago, proactive said:

There is bad in all people and we should not try and look at these anecdotes to try and demean an section of our people. 

that s true

but bhappaa girls dating and marrying Hindus is a serious problem.

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20 hours ago, shastarSingh said:

that s true

but bhappaa girls dating and marrying Hindus is a serious problem.

Where do we stop with this line of thinking? Is all the Sikh girls I've bumped into over the years, who are dating/marrying out - whether sullay, kalay, goray - any less of an issue? 

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1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

Where do we stop with this line of thinking? Is all the Sikh girls I've bumped into over the years, who are dating/marrying out - whether sullay, kalay, goray - any less of an issue? 

there is slight difference.

bhappaa girls pretend to be true sikh but girls in west marrying goraas, kaaley, sulley etc don't pretend to be true sikh.

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5 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

So, ironically, the women who eschew Sikh males for men of other groups are actually more observant of their religion's spiritual philosophy than those who aren't, lol.

You ever think that outside of the comfort bubble of 'numbers' that many apnay in Panjab rely on (especially along certain caste lines....), when in less 'secure' environments that whole bombast falls apart, and apneean see through it. Instead of faking it - why don't apnay (along Sikh lines not some jaat-paat bollox) actually practice and promote being the masculine figures in challenging situations outside of the safe space of being in the majority?  

Otherwise, we are just big fish in a small chappar. 

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5 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

You ever think that outside of the comfort bubble of 'numbers' that many apnay in Panjab rely on (especially along certain caste lines....), when in less 'secure' environments that whole bombast falls apart, and apneean see through it. Instead of faking it - why don't apnay (along Sikh lines not some jaat-paat bollox) actually practice and promote being the masculine figures in challenging situations outside of the safe space of being in the majority?  

Otherwise, we are just big fish in a small chappar. 

Probably true on a vague unspoken level, certainly nothing they could articulate to justify their decisions. Women's instincts are amazingly astute in these matters; it verges on supernatural but it's obviously something evolutionary. Of course, this applies only to women who possess the ability to choose. An oppressed girl in a desert tribal community won't be doing any of this. 

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5 hours ago, californiasardar1 said:

The vast majority of "Sikh" women already choose mates in this way. You say it is not a big problem in Punjab yet, but it is. Most "Sikh" women in Punjab will only marry "Sikhs" with haircuts and/or trimmed beards.

Whether it happens to be a "mona Sikh" or a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian or whatever makes no difference to me.

You equate a Sikh girl marrying someone from her own cultural and religious background to be comparable to her marrying a non-Sikh and thus never perpetuating any more of her own kind? I think that's a little a selfish and lacking big-picture thinking.

Also, you're telling me that a Singh with prospects and assets will be overlooked in favour of a guy that the current culture may prescribe as someone who meets the ideal in attractiveness but also happens to be unemployed or stuck in a menial low paying job? No chance. Even in India, a male set to inherit greater acreage will always be viewed as preferable to somebody who has less. 

Is it unfair? Yes. Are there ways of overcoming it? Yes. It only irks because it reveals women (or their families) don't value the man himself but only what he provides. That's the world over. The extra hurdle placed before Singhs can be overcome if we make ourselves... invaluable. Should we have to go to these lengths in an ideal world? Probably not. But it's that or succumb to bitterness and end up alone. You either work with the system or you reject it outright.

 

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13 minutes ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

Sure, if you go to the extreme, a Singh with prospects and assets will not be viewed as unfavorably a mona with no job and no assets. But the universe of potential partners for a woman doesn't consist of two people. She doesn't HAVE to marry one of those two guys. If a typical "Sikh" woman came across two men described as above, she would probably not want to be with either. Instead, she would keep looking for someone who is closer to her ideal (i.e. a mona with decent assets/prospects).

There are lots of women who are very far from catches who turn down Singhs with decent careers/assets. That doesn't mean they are prepared to marry a mona with a mountain of debt either.

 

Most women want to "marry up" in terms of financial status AND social status. Social status includes whether someone is considered to be conventionally attractive by the majority of mainstream society. Needless to say, Singhs don't meet this description.

Most women think they deserve a "prince charming." That is why there are so many punjabi kuriyan who are relatively old and unmarried. Go to shaadi.com sometime and look at how many of the profiles are of women in their mid-30s and 40s. There are woman who are too old to have children, look like aunties, have no career to speak of, and yet are completely delusional and think that a high-status man is out there dying to be with THEM.

I have attempted to work within this system. I am sure you or others will just say there are too many things wrong with me and it is my fault. But why should I have to be near-perfect just to get consideration from women who are VERY FAR from perfect (to put it kindly)?

You said one can work with the system or reject it outright. I reject it outright.

You're spot-on with everything you've said above. Nothing to be disputed from your perspective. Just acknowledge the nature of the beast, and don't let resentment consume you. Or just find an obese Sikh girl. I'm joking! 😅😁

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If we persue Gursikhi as our worth we will die rich, married or not. 

Perhaps if the true intention is in this direction a truly suitable partner will emerge. But if we're looking in Maya for it should we be surprised if we don't find it?

In order to get Anand Karaj would you sign up for rebirth? Or if it means Sanjog is it worth skipping if it's the Hukam of Vaheguru Akal Purakh?

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11 hours ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

The vast majority of "Sikh" women already choose mates in this way. You say it is not a big problem in Punjab yet, but it is. Most "Sikh" women in Punjab will only marry "Sikhs" with haircuts and/or trimmed beards.

 

Whether it happens to be a "mona Sikh" or a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian or whatever makes no difference to me.

There are a lot of Keshdhari Sikhs who do not want to marry a woman who wears a keski and doesn't trim her body hair.

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