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@Redoptics

And I know this will sound SUPER clichéd, especially on a Sikh forum, but seriously, NOTHING has helped me get a better grip on my mind than practicing simran or meditation.

On just a psychological level, it helped me to be able to banish or counter act thought processes that were taking me back. 

That helps healing in untold ways too. 

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I was 9 when my immediate family member passed away. That’s how the spiritual urge started. Might share more another time.. anyway a few points; - when do happy people remember god? People only r

I have lost people in my life close to me. The feeling you have is emptiness.  The person filled a gap in your life which is missing.  In the modern world, we think of death of being se

Waheguru. Praying for your healing and strength.  The older i get, the more you realize how everything really is just a fickle and precious time is. Its all just false. Esp when coming into Sikhi

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1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

@Redoptics

And I know this will sound SUPER clichéd, especially on a Sikh forum, but seriously, NOTHING has helped me get a better grip on my mind than practicing simran or meditation.

On just a psychological level, it helped me to be able to banish or counter act thought processes that were taking me back. 

That helps healing in untold ways too. 

Amen bro. It's hard to console fellow Sikhs because you know they've heard the Truth from our Guru. Many a whole lifetime. And we don't want to trivialize their pain or just hit them with more of the same, but it's the Ultimate Truth what Gurbani offers us and Gurmantar is the Panacea. 

2 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

Brother I hear you. I couldn't get the image of my bro in his coffin out of my head for quite a while. We're all human.

Let me put it on you. What practical steps have you done to help move on? And I'm not going to judge. I was frozen for a while and it took a family member getting me a job with a roofing firm (as a labourer) to help get me out of it. They roughed me up hardcore over there with the work and harsh, hostile environment  - but it was just what I needed. Focusing on all the physical stuff, and day to day survival took me out of my head.

Looking back, in the aftermath of the funeral, I trained like I never had before, I think this was a way of spending a lot of, pent up confusion and energy (probably also because I had a training partner as well then, who was motivated because he was getting hitched).

What steps are you taking? 

 

There's a lot to this too, which is every other way we cope and process as manmukhi jeev to help us make the most out of Simran. Things like hard work, training, nutrition, hydration, cbds?, Sangat. 

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32 minutes ago, Redoptics said:

Mentally or physically 

Assess both. Are you moving in the right direction? Or have you become comfortable wallowing in the pain? 

By the way, the above things (mental and physical state) are intertwined. 

Have you taken any new steps, directions? Have you started training? You're working. Have you started to buy a few bits of equipment? 

Have you had that talk with yourself telling yourself that the current situation is untenable, and you need to get to somewhere else? 

What you need is some bro to drag you out, and take you out of your zone. Shock therapy. 

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On 10/21/2021 at 1:17 PM, Redoptics said:

 I just need to know she, is ok ,

You will never know. Even when you die, you will never know. Why obsess over this?

Or if you REALLY need to know, I will tell you, "she is ok, having the time of her life." Don't ask me how I know.

The questions you are asking are exactly those that Arjun asked Lord Shri Krishna on kurukshetra battlefield. The Lord allayed Arjun's fears and told him to do his duty.

IN the same way, do your duty. To your soul.

More than anything it comes across as MOH. Gurbani tells us never to overly attach ourselves to anything that is one day going to die.

Read Gurbani and educate yourself.

 

 

On 10/21/2021 at 11:15 PM, Redoptics said:

I dont believe in ghost or spirits,  what i was referring to is ik, now she gone bk home but i can not engage with her, does that make sense,  or am o dumb 

If you don't beleive that ghosts or spirits exist, then simple you cannot believe in Gurbani, and the Guru. Read what SGGS says about these spirits. Try and open your mind to the Guru.

 

 

On 10/24/2021 at 7:25 PM, Redoptics said:

Fisherman/ fish/fishing rod, when you can see from this point of view answers my own question 

1178783198_fishandfisherman.png.aeebd7fd2038a1fd2924fe006e78ff44.png

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6 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

Assess both. Are you moving in the right direction? Or have you become comfortable wallowing in the pain? 

By the way, the above things (mental and physical state) are intertwined. 

Have you taken any new steps, directions? Have you started training? You're working. Have you started to buy a few bits of equipment? 

Have you had that talk with yourself telling yourself that the current situation is untenable, and you need to get to somewhere else? 

What you need is some bro to drag you out, and take you out of your zone. Shock therapy. 

This thing is not consistent,  what happens as medical doctors use, you have an episode,  yes I work i am an automation programmer for a a big company,  what happens you go through the stages of grief and you eventually come out

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2 hours ago, Redoptics said:

This thing is not consistent,  what happens as medical doctors use, you have an episode,  yes I work i am an automation programmer for a a big company,  what happens you go through the stages of grief and you eventually come out

You should be careful of being perpetually stuck in it. Like Miss Haversham in Great Expectations......

There are things you can do to speed up the process after a while. Stuff like I mentioned. 

If you got the money, you should start building your own gym. 

This thread made me think too. Because of it, earlier today, I remembered my pal in his coffin, but I was able to process things quickly and dismiss the image and emotions and move on. 

If you feel guilty about moving on from your missus, don't. She'd want that too. If she loved you, she wouldn't want to see you unhappy.   

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22 hours ago, Redoptics said:

40 -45

So you spent a significant chunk of your life with your good lady (depending on when you got married).

What can anyone say without annoying you? What you need to hear will probably upset you, not because it's untrue, but because you're obviously still hurting.

Consider drawing a line underneath that period of your life. Not "forget" just acknowledge, appreciate, and unshackle yourself from that past. It's difficult. However, if you want to wallow, then nothing anyone says will ever be of use to you, because it just won't matter to you until you feel the need to start afresh.

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57 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

So you spent a significant chunk of your life with your good lady (depending on when you got married).

What can anyone say without annoying you? What you need to hear will probably upset you, not because it's untrue, but because you're obviously still hurting.

Consider drawing a line underneath that period of your life. Not "forget" just acknowledge, appreciate, and unshackle yourself from that past. It's difficult. However, if you want to wallow, then nothing anyone says will ever be of use to you, because it just won't matter to you until you feel the need to start afresh.

"I just want peace" Tony Stark

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