I am stuck and really need someone to guide me

[Kaurr]

24 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

I am beginning to think there isn't such a thing as female friendship.

There is.

It's not easy to find and not everyone has a friendship with a female where both people like and respect each other. But when there is one, it's one of the greatest things.

It's easier to find a real female friendships away from those fake wannabes. Most of them have no friends and just use people.

[Ranjeet01]

9 minutes ago, Kaurr said:

There is.

It's not easy to find and not everyone has a friendship with a female where both people like and respect each other. But when there is one, it's one of the greatest things.

It's easier to find a real female friendships away from those fake wannabes. Most of them have no friends and just use people.

The using thing I find very difficult hard thing to grasp.

Not everything between people has to be transactional. 

But there are people like that. 

[learningkaur]

41 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

The using thing I find very difficult hard thing to grasp.

Not everything between people has to be transactional. 

But there are people like that. 

There’s a lot of users out there but it’s upbringing.
Parents who act like users and show their kids this behaviour will have kids who mimic it. Same with talking about other people, jealousy, obsessed with money etc. 
 

[jkvlondon]

13 hours ago, Guest Shocked at LIARS said:

Look here, cases where they have been raped or abused is exceptionally a serious situation!  Do you think in all honesty, the number of suitors deserve to be lied to,   kept in the dark about this? What right have you got to impose that or any kind of suffering on the innocent suitors? For they will be shocked to find out later on that the person they married had been raped/abused and no one told them!  By lying to them, YOU would’ve DEPRIVED  them of their choice to make the right decision for themselves! Honestly, learn to be honest for God’s sakes! Don’t deprive them of their right to make the  right decision when deciding who they marry or not!

an abuse sufferer or rape victim is innocent too and it is a bit much to expect her to relive her torturous past with essentially strangers in the hope they will be understanding . It is clear that you have no idea of real life because most stupid people will reject her and spread rumours about her WHEN IT IS NOT HER FAULT.  The only solution is making guys realise that she is still innocent and should not be hurt for the events that happened to her , but unfortunately stupid Machismo of punjabiyat  will judge her guilty and reject her. But true sikhs will be able to see her as a human needing love , understanding and companionship  remember hindu girls who were rejected by their families were accepted by our ancestors as sisters and wives without any sense loss of honour .

Dialogue between prospectives is necessary but unless the male can have the right attitude it is just going to hurt the girls .

[MisterrSingh]

11 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

actually the slim one was UGLY in mind and soul to misuse the other girl for so long , Hope it doesn't destroy the other girl when she realises she's being used .

Maybe they're BOTH ugly in mind and soul in different ways considering they enjoy each other's company. I guarantee you when it comes to bullies, even some "victims" have no compunction in teaming up with their tormentor if it means taking the heat off themselves when finding a new target to harass. That doesn't sound like the acts of a virtuous person.

[jkvlondon]

7 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

Maybe they're BOTH ugly in mind and soul in different ways considering they enjoy each other's company. I guarantee you when it comes to bullies, even some "victims" have no compunction in teaming up with their tormentor if it means taking the heat off themselves when finding a new target to harass. That doesn't sound like the acts of a virtuous person.

stockholm syndrome mixed with a lacing of codependence - Yah for sisterhood -not ..

so Sad that people are so twisted inside they cannot be honest with anyone even themselves

[Ranjeet01]

44 minutes ago, puzzled said:

LOL yeah the "pretty" ones with 10 layers of slap are the really b1itchy ones. But i think the B1tchyness is just to cover up their insecurities tbh ...    i don't like those types either.

It reminds about a incident in my last job. My supervisor was a Irish lady, tbh she wasn't a pretty lady. She was quite big and butch. But she was a really nice lady, always nice to me and she let me get away with a lot of stuff lol! 

Before i started working there she got married and months later she bought in her wedding album so show her "friends" the photos, "friends" who were at her wedding!   We were sitting in the canteen during lunch, i was sitting on a table with a Pakistani lady, she was one of those really westernized Karachi type ones, While my supervisor with her wedding album was sitting on another table showing the photos to her "friends" who were sitting around her. 

She lifted the album up to show me and the Paki lady one of the photos and the paki lady was like "oh you look beautiful, lovely" and when she said that, one of my supervisors "friend" looked at her other "friend" and pulled a face and smirked!  right besides her! 

Her "friends" who also were at the wedding were all sniggering, giggling and pulling faces right besides her and behind her while she was showing them the photos! obviously they were all doing it very discreetly, but the silly cow had no idea what so ever what was going on right besides her and behind her!

i was just shocked! coz these were her "friends" who were at her wedding! they went out on weekends with her, got presents for her on her birthday and Christmas, and they were sitting right there taking the p1ss out of her wedding photos!

She was far to busy admiring the photos to even notice what her "friends" sitting right besides her were doing!

You see us guys laugh at each other but it is all banter! its not taken seriously at all, but I'v seen females just be nasty and b1tchy to each other and their own "friends"    no way do men treat their friends like that! 

I think i had a better view of this behavior coz the canteen was quite small and i always used to sit against the back wall facing the front wall because the front wall had a tv on it, while these ladies were sitting on a table next to the tv so i saw it all! 

Talking about weddings, iv sat next to my female cousins and aunties at Punjabi wedding receptions and as soon as the bride/groom walk in they say some the meanest and horrible things. Like the bride is making her big entrance with the dhol player leading them in and all the women around the table are talking about how horrible the bride and her outfit looks!   LOL!     i know for a fact other people on here have witnessed this behavior as well!  Its no surprise women spend like £75,000 on their outfit and hair on their weddings because they know the pressure they are under to look good by other women!

But obviously not all women are like that, iv met some really nice, well mannered and good women too. 

And my cousins sister sticking pictures up on social media with our other cousins because "she looks better then her"   what the hell is that about! 

This behavior of some women is just way to complex to get my head around, being "friends" but then bringing your friends down! 

I'v seen way to much of it! 

 

This behavior of some women is just way to complex to get my head around, being "friends" but then bringing your friends down! 

The term for this is frenemies. 

[puzzled]

26 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

This behavior of some women is just way to complex to get my head around, being "friends" but then bringing your friends down! 

The term for this is frenemies. 

Who needs enemies when you have frenemies!   so bad ... 

[MisterrSingh]

On 9/3/2020 at 5:01 PM, Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh said:

Hey 'Guest(s)'.  I'm not a gambling man by any stretch of the imagination but if a gun was put to my head and I was forced to place one bet this is what it would be:

I would bet that you are a student of Psychology who absolutely adores the opportunity to write down what you've learned. When that opportunity doesn't arise you create that opportunity by first of all starting a thread with a made-up moral dilemma story and then posting a response to that moral dilemma / problem that you yourself made up in the first place. I've noticed this same modus operandi on numerous 'advice' threads popping up all over this forum. Normally, the object of the endeveour is the chance to articulate a particular feeling you have. In this present example I put it to you that the whole elaborate charade was created specifically so that posts rubbishing the character of dastar wearing women could be articulated. You may have others fooled here but I'm on to you 

When you're right, you're right, Jagsaw, but on this one I feel you're a tad out of the loop. There's worse shenanigans occuring in the Sikh diaspora than what OP has described. A great deception is underway, in the UK at least, with decent young Singhs being deceived into marrying certain types of girls who have crossed all boundaries when it comes to their behaviour. These Singhs are mostly members of AKJ and its various derivatives. I wouldn't go as far as to say it's a conspiracy, but it's not far off.

[Guest Gambliar]

48 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

When you're right, you're right, Jagsaw, but on this one I feel you're a tad out of the loop. There's worse shenanigans occuring in the Sikh diaspora than what OP has described. A great deception is underway, in the UK at least, with decent young Singhs being deceived into marrying certain types of girls who have crossed all boundaries when it comes to their behaviour. These Singhs are mostly members of AKJ and its various derivatives. I wouldn't go as far as to say it's a conspiracy, but it's not far off.

Men are worse than women. Men are responsible for all the evils in this world - women just follow suit! They have a deep rooted desire to always please us and they will do anything to capture a gullible, dandled, helpless, butter wont melt in our mouth type of gursikhs especially coming from very sheltered families where they have been spoon-fed, whether force-fed or not, is not important, to marry and procreate families with. We gursikhs are in high demand and these women know when they see a good catch!  We are it!!