Marriage partner and Social Media presence

[Guest Marriage]

Is social media presence a factor to consider for choosing a partner?

I’m security conscious and don’t trust social media because any weirdo can spy on you. I think loads people are naive and post to much personal life. Like they post their going for a day out. But what you actually posted is your house will be empty all day so I can break in!

There’s gursikh girl, amritdhari with dastar very sweet. Her dad asked me last year if I thought about marriage yet and I said not yet. I like her secretly but she posts every detail of her life on Instagram. She even record stories while driving. I thought what if we married and she had my child in the back seat and using phone while driving!?

Like people match based on interests and preferences. Is how much of ur life u wiling to share something to consider for choosing a partner? 

[GurjantGnostic 583]

2 hours ago, Guest Marriage said:

Is social media presence a factor to consider for choosing a partner?

I’m security conscious and don’t trust social media because any weirdo can spy on you. I think loads people are naive and post to much personal life. Like they post their going for a day out. But what you actually posted is your house will be empty all day so I can break in!

There’s gursikh girl, amritdhari with dastar very sweet. Her dad asked me last year if I thought about marriage yet and I said not yet. I like her secretly but she posts every detail of her life on Instagram. She even record stories while driving. I thought what if we married and she had my child in the back seat and using phone while driving!?

Like people match based on interests and preferences. Is how much of ur life u wiling to share something to consider for choosing a partner? 

Too much social media use is a bad sign. 

[Koi 413]

2 hours ago, Guest Marriage said:

Is social media presence a factor to consider for choosing a partner?

I’m security conscious and don’t trust social media because any weirdo can spy on you. I think loads people are naive and post to much personal life. Like they post their going for a day out. But what you actually posted is your house will be empty all day so I can break in!

There’s gursikh girl, amritdhari with dastar very sweet. Her dad asked me last year if I thought about marriage yet and I said not yet. I like her secretly but she posts every detail of her life on Instagram. She even record stories while driving. I thought what if we married and she had my child in the back seat and using phone while driving!?

Like people match based on interests and preferences. Is how much of ur life u wiling to share something to consider for choosing a partner? 

Not necessarily, and this is always something you can talk about if it bothers you. Private life should indeed remain private, but each to their own. Definitely talk to this girl and see if you can come to some compromise. 

All the best . 

[MisterrSingh 3,913]

3 hours ago, Guest Marriage said:

Is social media presence a factor to consider for choosing a partner?

I’m security conscious and don’t trust social media because any weirdo can spy on you. I think loads people are naive and post to much personal life. Like they post their going for a day out. But what you actually posted is your house will be empty all day so I can break in!

There’s gursikh girl, amritdhari with dastar very sweet. Her dad asked me last year if I thought about marriage yet and I said not yet. I like her secretly but she posts every detail of her life on Instagram. She even record stories while driving. I thought what if we married and she had my child in the back seat and using phone while driving!?

Like people match based on interests and preferences. Is how much of ur life u wiling to share something to consider for choosing a partner? 

Her dad's unsubtly dropping hints about getting his daughter married directly to a potential suitor? 99.9% of the time this means he's trying to offload her onto a husband because of reasons. Yeah, that's a red flag. Huge red flag.

Excessive social media presence? Another red flag.

Driving while using a phone? She's a self obsessed brainlet who cares little for her own safety as well as that of her fellow road users. Red flag.

Lacks discretion and self-awareness. Red flag.

Your aatma is clearly screaming NO, but for some reason you're trying to manufacture reasons for convincing yourself into a rishta. Stop it. Her so-called sweetness stacked against a litany of the above issues should tell you everything that you need to know.

Her social media presence is the least of your problems if you find yourself drawn into the orbit of someone like that.

[indersingh1313 23]

5 hours ago, Guest Marriage said:

Is social media presence a factor to consider for choosing a partner?

I’m security conscious and don’t trust social media because any weirdo can spy on you. I think loads people are naive and post to much personal life. Like they post their going for a day out. But what you actually posted is your house will be empty all day so I can break in!

There’s gursikh girl, amritdhari with dastar very sweet. Her dad asked me last year if I thought about marriage yet and I said not yet. I like her secretly but she posts every detail of her life on Instagram. She even record stories while driving. I thought what if we married and she had my child in the back seat and using phone while driving!?

Like people match based on interests and preferences. Is how much of ur life u wiling to share something to consider for choosing a partner? 

so you secretly like her?

according to me, addiction of social media in our society is a huge problems. in reality most of us are addicted to our phones and social media however the only difference is, some people keep it secret just like yourself and watch other people's stuff on social media via scrolling up and down, the others put every single details of their life on instagram. 

if you really know and like the girl and her family then just talk to her and find a way.

ask her about this issue, I don't think its very smart to let her go without communicating with her.

 

[MisterrSingh 3,913]

1 hour ago, indersingh1313 said:

if you really know and like the girl and her family then just talk to her and find a way.

Vague and unhelpful.

Life isn't a movie where things magically work themselves out just because someone wishes it were so. 

Anything he says in an attempt to curb her habits and behaviours at this early juncture will be misconstrued as so-called controlling behaviour. She's well within her rights to ask, "Who are you to me?"

Why bother with that hassle when it's certain someone of that mindset and mentality is incapable of modifying their behaviour? Those habits are now set in stone. They'll never change. Any guy with a mind that functions even slightly beyond the superficial will understand this.

Find someone whose inner state of being matches their external saroop. It's not the Singh's job to coach her, guide her, etc. These girls delight in telling the world how incredibly in control and awake they are. So be it.

[Guest Marriage counsellor]

7 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Her dad's unsubtly dropping hints about getting his daughter married directly to a potential suitor? 99.9% of the time this means he's trying to offload her onto a husband because of reasons. Yeah, that's a red flag. Huge red flag.

Excessive social media presence? Another red flag.

Driving while using a phone? She's a self obsessed brainlet who cares little for her own safety as well as that of her fellow road users. Red flag.

Lacks discretion and self-awareness. Red flag.

Your aatma is clearly screaming NO, but for some reason you're trying to manufacture reasons for convincing yourself into a rishta. Stop it. Her so-called sweetness stacked against a litany of the above issues should tell you everything that you need to know.

Her social media presence is the least of your problems if you find yourself drawn into the orbit of someone like that.

Perfect observations. I would even go as far as recommending marrying a white girl with good upbringing. Don’t marry Indians, even if they are born in the overseas in the Western Hemisphere. Marry good whites girl and introduce her to Sikhi, believe me when I sat your life will be easy. There will be no punjabi cultural baggage to cope with and no spoilt rotten punjabi wife sh$t to deal with in daily life. Marry white,

[learningkaur 75]

She’s single and has time on her hands. She will probably get over it once she’s married and busy and with someone who shows her the negative side to posting.

Tell her to watch social dilemma on Netflix.

If you like her then personally I think it’s ok to say that you’re not into Instagram posting to see her what her reaction is before talking more.

[Guest Realistic]

14 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Her dad's unsubtly dropping hints about getting his daughter married directly to a potential suitor? 99.9% of the time this means he's trying to offload her onto a husband because of reasons. Yeah, that's a red flag. Huge red flag.

This is a ridiculous statement. How else is he meant to find someone for his daughter? Middle men don't exist anymore.

[Guest Realistic]

10 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Why bother with that hassle when it's certain someone of that mindset and mentality is incapable of modifying their behaviour? Those habits are now set in stone. They'll never change. Any guy with a mind that functions even slightly beyond the superficial will understand this.

Do you think people are unable to grow/learn/evolve? You seem very pessimistic.

[MisterrSingh 3,913]

On 10/4/2020 at 11:25 PM, Guest Realistic said:

This is a ridiculous statement. How else is he meant to find someone for his daughter? Middle men don't exist anymore.

What happened to the art of discretion? Why's he hawking her in this manner? Middle "men" may not exist in the ways of old, but making an introduction via a third party isn't something that's succumbed to the mists of legend as seems to be the impression around these parts.

The role of the bachola has certainly dissolved to something considerably less official and dictatorial, but that doesn't mean the dynamics of the "making an introduction" process in the Punjabi community have shifted to the degree that the father of the girl is making a fool of himself trying to foist his daughter onto potential suitors in the cack-handed manner described by OP. 

He's literally saying, "U wanna marry my daughter, init? Come on, u know you want to. Don't be shy." 

He's her father for God's sake! Respectable families with decent daughters don't behave in this manner. Trust me.

 

On 10/4/2020 at 11:28 PM, Guest Realistic said:

Do you think people are unable to grow/learn/evolve? You seem very pessimistic.

People can certainly grow / learn / evolve. The person described by OP isn't one of those people. She seems totally oblivious. The red flags I've identified are clear markers as to why it isn't possible in her situation. She has no compelling reason to alter her mindset, but OP is, at this stage of proceedings, identifying aspects of her nature that he finds irksome, and is desperately trying to find solutions for bridging the gap between the ill-advised attraction he's allowed to develop for her AND the issues about her that disturb him in an effort to justify the feelings he has for her.

The Punjabi mindset -- moreso the one exposed to the shallow contemporary Western mentality that's predicated on excessive digital social interaction -- lack the necessary critical thinking skills and subsequent discipline to break or even curb ingrained habits that have become second nature. 

Mention the idea of curbing attention to screens / electronic gadgets, and you'll likely be met with a barrage of excuses centred around the core argument of, "Everyone else is doing it, so what's wrong with it?" That's before we've even broached the psychological affects of social media addiction, and believe me, that girl is addicted. It's out of control now; once the realisation stemming from complacency gained from securing a partner is realised, it will get worse.

It also seems she has a pathological desire for attention and to over-share every inconsequential thought that crosses her mind. These are serious and quite deep-rooted personality flaws that cannot be overcome at the insistence of a third party. The biggest problem? She doesn't even realise she has a problem.

[MisterrSingh 3,913]

On 10/4/2020 at 4:20 PM, Guest Marriage counsellor said:

Perfect observations. I would even go as far as recommending marrying a white girl with good upbringing. Don’t marry Indians, even if they are born in the overseas in the Western Hemisphere. Marry good whites girl and introduce her to Sikhi, believe me when I sat your life will be easy. There will be no punjabi cultural baggage to cope with and no spoilt rotten punjabi wife sh$t to deal with in daily life. Marry white,

While I don't disagree with the overall sentiment of your post, unfortunately even the vast majority of whites are no more immune to the frivolous distractions of the age than any other group.

A "good" white girl is more often than not rooted in a Christian mindset (those that found Christ before they allowed themselves to succumb to degeneracy are even more rare), and therefore looking for a partner that shares the same beliefs and background.

A "liberal" white woman willing to entertain the idea of marrying outside her race may seem like heaven for most non-white males, but there are also long-term negatives stemming from her overall worldview that become apparent with time. If she's willing to seek a non-white partner, then she also has other beliefs that would most likely prove to be a sticking point for a male with even the semblance of a traditional mindset. If, on the other hand, the Punjabi male is even "whiter" in mentality than his object of desire, and he's prepared to make concessions, then fair enough, the friction between the two parties will be non-existent. Happy days... for a while at least.

[singhdalbir 55]

On 10/4/2020 at 8:20 AM, Guest Marriage counsellor said:

Perfect observations. I would even go as far as recommending marrying a white girl with good upbringing. Don’t marry Indians, even if they are born in the overseas in the Western Hemisphere. Marry good whites girl and introduce her to Sikhi, believe me when I sat your life will be easy. There will be no punjabi cultural baggage to cope with and no spoilt rotten punjabi wife sh$t to deal with in daily life. Marry white,

Joke of the day. Having lived here in the USA for so long and you come to realize that American girls specially white girls are just too loose. You may find some white girls who are conservative but they are usually hella hardcore christian. IF you are able to marry a girl like that, than most likely she are trying to convert the kids if she can't convert you. That is their end goal of just trying to convert everyone whether straight out or back hand way conversion.

[learningkaur 75]

On 10/4/2020 at 4:20 PM, Guest Marriage counsellor said:

Perfect observations. I would even go as far as recommending marrying a white girl with good upbringing. Don’t marry Indians, even if they are born in the overseas in the Western Hemisphere. Marry good whites girl and introduce her to Sikhi, believe me when I sat your life will be easy. There will be no punjabi cultural baggage to cope with and no spoilt rotten punjabi wife sh$t to deal with in daily life. Marry white,

So this singh who doesn’t like a singhni because she uses Instagram is going to go for a gori now? What planet are you living on.

Also how many white women have you come across they find full kesh singhs attractive? 

It’s not the Punjabi wives who bring  the ‘cultural baggage’ - it’s actually the husbands families, mostly their mother’s! so why don’t you advise the Punjabi girls to marry nice white men who wash dishes instead. 
 

[indersingh1313 23]

5 hours ago, learningkaur said:

So this singh who doesn’t like a singhni because she uses Instagram is going to go for a gori now? What planet are you living on.

Also how many white women have you come across they find full kesh singhs attractive? 

It’s not the Punjabi wives who bring  the ‘cultural baggage’ - it’s actually the husbands families, mostly their mother’s! so why don’t you advise the Punjabi girls to marry nice white men who wash dishes instead. 
 

wjkk wjkf

Double standard. a guy can use social media and see someone's stuff on insta secretly then its ok for him but if a girl using social media then they think she is spoilt or addicted. if a Sikh  guy marrying a white girl then its ok but if a Sikh woman marrying white guy then they still think she is gone out of parents hands. that actually makes them hypocritical.