Working wife , a good idea for me or hazardous one ?

[Guest Disgustedbymenonhere]

10 hours ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

average

Why are you even answering this ridiculous question? Have some respect for the woman who’s stuck with you when you aren’t giving her the full deal as a husband. You should see her as beautiful for what she’s putting up with. 
That question is irrelevant and shouldn’t have even been asked.

Spoiling her? You need to change your understanding of what a wife is. My husband would never talk about me like that, we are partners and a team and my happiness is his happiness vice versa. Grow up for the sake of teaching your child good values and respect for women.

[Kaurr 485]

12 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

It's silly, because it's that old Indian pale skin obsession rearing its head. Most of these dark skinned girls are otherwise aesthetically decent, so there's no need to look like they've buried their head in a tray of cocaine.

Yeah, I find the foundation of your natural skin colour much more better looking than the white paint they chopar the face with. It looks kind of creepy. I'm just hoping that they don't start coping those Japanese white makeup faces.

[Guest]

I have seriously considered installing spyware on her phone that gives me complete recordings of her calls, esp her pesky sisters who keep stirring her , and also all messages she might do . The software is a bit expensive but one can't detect if its installed on their phone. 

So that I know what she is doing. This is just to prevent her from someone taking her inadvertent misuse. 

[GurjantGnostic 827]

17 minutes ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

I have seriously considered installing spyware on her phone that gives me complete recordings of her calls, esp her pesky sisters who keep stirring her , and also all messages she might do . The software is a bit expensive but one can't detect if its installed on their phone. 

So that I know what she is doing. This is just to prevent her from someone taking her inadvertent misuse. 

I understand the desire for that bro, but don't do that Ji. 

Build your relationship on Gurbani, on your practice of Sikhi as householders, with communication and trust and be in your alpha energy bro. 

Be affectionate with her bro. Gay or not she needs your reassurance and your touch. For you to be loving Ji. No matter what kind of love that is. 

Encourage her to either invest herself in raising your young one properly or find the most appropriate work available. Cosmotology is a tacky profession for a Sikh in my wretched opinion. 

[GurjantGnostic 827]

And remember bro. You're asking a lot of her to join you in Anand Karaj like you have. She can't just stay home no love bro. You may want to explore your ability to be affectionate. You're her husband bro gay or nah. Truth is best. You need to talk to her about intimacy at some point truthfully. 

[MisterrSingh 4,458]

10 hours ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

I have seriously considered installing spyware on her phone that gives me complete recordings of her calls, esp her pesky sisters who keep stirring her , and also all messages she might do . The software is a bit expensive but one can't detect if its installed on their phone. 

So that I know what she is doing. This is just to prevent her from someone taking her inadvertent misuse. 

No, that's messed up.

[Ranjeet01 1,997]

5 hours ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

I have seriously considered installing spyware on her phone that gives me complete recordings of her calls, esp her pesky sisters who keep stirring her , and also all messages she might do . The software is a bit expensive but one can't detect if its installed on their phone. 

So that I know what she is doing. This is just to prevent her from someone taking her inadvertent misuse. 

Don't do the spyware. 

All this means is that you don't trust your wife.

Marriage needs trust. If there is no trust, what do you have left in your relationship? 

Women talk with their pekheh when it comes to the foibles of their in-laws.

This is their nature.

If you had a sister and she was married, she would do exactly the same with your mum.

Also your sister and mum would talk about the faults of your wife. 

That is the nature of women.

[MisterrSingh 4,458]

Gotta be careful, bro. If someone like Mr. T spots your lady, it's curtains.

[jkvlondon 5,543]

12 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Don't do the spyware. 

All this means is that you don't trust your wife.

Marriage needs trust. If there is no trust, what do you have left in your relationship? 

Women talk with their pekheh when it comes to the foibles of their in-laws.

This is their nature.

If you had a sister and she was married, she would do exactly the same with your mum.

Also your sister and mum would talk about the faults of your wife. 

That is the nature of women.

and this guy talks to sikh jagat about his wife ... takes all sorts

[H908 36]

Ppl pick up bad habits like gossiping and complaining and you can make an argument thats its a result of punjabi values and thinking but how you guys talk about women i feel sorry for the women in your life or you guys just have had bad ppl in your life

[jkvlondon 5,543]

53 minutes ago, H908 said:

Ppl pick up bad habits like gossiping and complaining and you can make an argument thats its a result of punjabi values and thinking but how you guys talk about women i feel sorry for the women in your life or you guys just have had bad ppl in your life

anyone can make silly arguments for doing dubious things but if you do then that says a hell of a lot more about yourself than the other person. Be a good partner and show trust and affection rather than try to trip or spy because everyone needs privacy to collect their own thoughts , speak their mind without being judged . This is what makes life hard for Indian women the constant monitoring and being judged whilst being expected to be fulltime job holder , housewife and carer - no man would want to do it by themselves and yet act as if it is the sole reason the women are invited to be in their lives - which a fairly disrespectful way of thinking.

[Jai Tegang! 154]

19 hours ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

I have seriously considered installing spyware on her phone that gives me complete recordings of her calls, esp her pesky sisters who keep stirring her , and also all messages she might do . The software is a bit expensive but one can't detect if its installed on their phone. 

So that I know what she is doing. This is just to prevent her from someone taking her inadvertent misuse. 

Is it wise to share such detailed household problems out in the open? If any other sikh from mumbai uses this forum and pieces together your profile, it could cause you much grief if they out you, no?

Genuinely saying this, since you do want to keep your orientation undercover.

Apart from giving random people some entertainment, I doubt you sharing your regular problems is of any help for yourself. Maybe being more anonymous would have been helpful from the get go.

This is my general observation and not pointed towards the quote.

[H908 36]

On 11/18/2020 at 4:06 PM, jkvlondon said:

anyone can make silly arguments for doing dubious things but if you do then that says a hell of a lot more about yourself than the other person. Be a good partner and show trust and affection rather than try to trip or spy because everyone needs privacy to collect their own thoughts , speak their mind without being judged . This is what makes life hard for Indian women the constant monitoring and being judged whilst being expected to be fulltime job holder , housewife and carer - no man would want to do it by themselves and yet act as if it is the sole reason the women are invited to be in their lives - which a fairly disrespectful way of thinking.

Yea alot of guys on here are playing victim and blaming women for being promiscuous or sexually free. Have some empathy and see what women have to go through as well. I guranttee there are good women nor all are looking to screw ppl over

[Guest]

On 11/19/2020 at 4:55 AM, Jai Tegang! said:

Is it wise to share such detailed household problems out in the open? If any other sikh from mumbai uses this forum and pieces together your profile, it could cause you much grief if they out you, no?

Genuinely saying this, since you do want to keep your orientation undercover.

Apart from giving random people some entertainment, I doubt you sharing your regular problems is of any help for yourself. Maybe being more anonymous would have been helpful from the get go.

This is my general observation and not pointed towards the quote.

I agree Fully with you but have I given so much info someone could track who I am based on bits of information here. I always had this thought in mind hence kept information at broad level. 

 

[MisterrSingh 4,458]

On 11/16/2020 at 9:16 PM, Guest Disgustedbymenonhere said:

Why are you even answering this ridiculous question? Have some respect for the woman who’s stuck with you when you aren’t giving her the full deal as a husband. You should see her as beautiful for what she’s putting up with. 
That question is irrelevant and shouldn’t have even been asked.

Spoiling her? You need to change your understanding of what a wife is. My husband would never talk about me like that, we are partners and a team and my happiness is his happiness vice versa. Grow up for the sake of teaching your child good values and respect for women.

You may live in a fantasy world where a lumbering 16-stone (100kg+) woman is as desirable and eye-catching as a comparably petite and attractive girl, but for the vast majority who are in touch with reality the question is valid.

If she's unattractive (overweight or not) there's a reduced chance of her catching the eye of another male. There are many other issues at play, but it's a consideration. Why are you repulsed by logic?

OP definitely isn't "giving her the full deal as a husband" as you stated, so if she were to spot someone during the working day who would take a shine to her based on her looks, there's an increased likelihood of her being swayed by the attention, even more so due to the lack of genuine affection that she isn't receiving at home.