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Equality during Anand Karaj


Guest manjeetayjagjeet

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Some of the signs of a rough marriage to come:

The bride wants to walk in front or beside during lavan. The bride wants to wear heels during lavan( yes it’s been done before...to look taller)....she was confronted after and fully denied it although all the ladies sitting behind her saw. The bride throws a fit because the Ramala does not match her lengha(happened before).  Bride thinks it’s a blessing that her parents didn’t put Kaur in her name. Couple thinks it’s ok to have some wine in the parking lot. (The it’s only wine excuse).

Like other posters said, just get a court marriage and move on with your lives.

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You're marrying the love of your life (supposedly), and you're more worried about whether if you're walking behind, beside or in front of him. Rather than booking the nearest wedding date available in

We are Sikhs not Cultural Marxists. If you have it the traditional you are both equally distant from Maharaj. If you have both people level then one is going to be further away. You adapt to

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa , Waheguru ji ki Fateh , firstly what you are doing is throwing out sikh culture and gurmat for some supposed 'modern' and WISER ???? way , in some mistaken impression you k

Guest Bibliophile

Op, I think you're asking a pertinant question but in the wrong place. Take a look at some the other threads on this board and you'll see that the Sikhs here put tradition above everything. They want to go back to the old days where we all went to the loo in the fields and women died in childbirth. 

Sikhs on reddit are much less condescending, well educated and likely to give a balanced view. I'd ask there. 

 

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On 3/1/2021 at 3:23 PM, puzzled said:

This symbolises that your father is now passing you onto your husband and that you are now a part of your husbands family. The grooms father does not pass the brides chunni into the grooms hand, it is the brides father that passes the grooms pala into his daughters hand.  Your sons will also be a part of your husbands family and take their fathers name. 

Just how Guru Gobind Singh ji narrates the history of his family, the Sodhi clan, the clan of his father Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji.  Just how Guru Nanak Dev ji is described as being born into the Bedi clan, the clan of his father Mehta Kalu. Just how Bhai Santokh Singh ji describes that when Guru Nanak Dev ji is born the BEDI ladies(aunts) come around to see Baby Guru Nanak. 

Guru Gobind Singh ji's hukkam is that a Sikh man should get his daughter married into a house where Sikhi is practiced, why ? because its the bride that is marrying into the grooms family, hence a father should choose a home for his daughter where Sikhi is practiced.  

Just like that the father of the bride passes the grooms pala into the brides hand, symbolising that she is now a part of the grooms family and their kids will also be part of the grooms family. We have been getting married like that for centuries, its our tradition. If you don't like it, then like others have suggested you can have a registry marriage. 

 

i'm a firm traditionalist and a male.  however even i would find this explanation demeaning if i wear a woman.  

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Wonderful replies here by the sangat 🙏🏾.

A small point to note; if you walk side by side, one of you will stand closer to the Guru and have to walk a slightly shorter distance, while the other will have to stand a little further away from the Guru and walk a slightly longer distance. Who will it be? And how do you decide who gets to stand closer to the Guru?

This is what happens when you start splitting hairs. As sangat have mentioned, if you don't like the Anand Karaj, you are more than welcome to get "married" in any other way you see fit...

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Guest Mr Lynx

Lol what an insane topic!!!

Tbh I think if it was a choice she'd be walking in front and her husband behind her wearing the churiyah cause we can all see what's going to happen to the poor guy during this union.

I'm in disbelief at the stupidity of some of our younger generation!

Shes been given some great advice here let's hope she takes it onboard and leaves her ego behind.

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20 hours ago, Jai Tegang! said:

I still like koi's argument about orbital distance. Infact, the outer partner will have to increase speed while covering a larger distance to maintain equal timing upon arrival at the starting point. 

True that person on the outside will have to walk faster.

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On 3/3/2021 at 2:07 PM, Guest guest said:

i'm a firm traditionalist and a male.  however even i would find this explanation demeaning if i wear a woman.  

Would be interesting to see what are your "Firm Traditionalist" views. Now don't do ghosting traditionalist male ji. 

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Guest Purataan Sikh

Now, I have heard a lot of people object to your stance by telling you that it is just "tradition" but not many have explained why and that is the problem in the Panth, we have gone away from the tradition so much we forgot the orginal practices of Sikhi. Gurbani, Rehitnamay and history all clearly agree that the Man is the head of the family and should be considered as "Pati-Parmeshar (Husband as God). Since the Man is the head, then there is no way that he should be lead by the wife, especially during the Laavan. This would indicate that the women is the leader of the relationship. This is weather you want to believe in it or not, the reality, If women started serving their husbands as such then we would have many more Chardi Kala Singhniaan in the Panth. This doesn't mean that the Women is lower, or cant achieve the same spiritual level as a Man, but their Dharam in the household is different than that of the man. Men too have to start acting as such as they too have been feminized to think they need to bow down to their wives. 

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