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What is the right age to get married?


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8 minutes ago, proactive said:

Have you tried to see if your local Gurdwara has a matrimonial service? It would be easier to find someone who is similarly interested in Sikhi that way. Also after Covid is over you should try and network more, probably attend some Sikhi camps to network more with similar minded Sikhs of your age. Probably also try the Sikh matrimonial sites like Sikhnet or even Shadi but be weary a lot of Hindus and Muslims will contact you to try their luck, just block them and stick to Sikhs who contact you and just try and meet as many as you can and I am sure you will find the right person for you. 

Hmm I haven't but I might try reaching out, although that's quite embarrassing for me. Like I said my mum doesn't help me at all, she just expects me to date and marry whoever I want. Yh I tried Shaadi lol and I got 500 likes and match requests overnight when I first joined, it's too weird plus I feel like there are a lot of pendu scammers on there. I can't trust anyone online. Also so many people who aren't even Sikhs contacting me.

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That's a big no. Make sure you are financially independant and never rely on the man for money. Seen that happen too many times and it ends up fcking the woman and kids up without them realising. 

I'm thinking of creating a marriage app for Sikhs who are reluctant to get married but are being badgered by their parents to find a partner. I'm naming it, Hide and Sikh. 😅

Forgive me Jio. Lol. I loved the part where I said not to convert people to Sikhi. We all did in fact! I mean if they have a thing for us that bad or want the real debate they can take the mask o

3 minutes ago, Jassu said:

Hmm I haven't but I might try reaching out, although that's quite embarrassing for me. Like I said my mum doesn't help me at all, she just expects me to date and marry whoever I want. Yh I tried Shaadi lol and I got 500 likes and match requests overnight when I first joined, it's too weird plus I feel like there are a lot of pendu scammers on there. I can't trust anyone online. Also so many people who aren't even Sikhs contacting me.

My parents are the same 😂 

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10 hours ago, Jassu said:

It doesn’t. Age does though and isn’t Dally like 70 or something? lol

Not quite. lol

I hope you find someone.  

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My mum is also not religious and she doesn’t care who I marry. We’re also not in a good financial situation.  I’m wondering how can I possibly find a Sikh man who can look past that? Because as we know family is quite important in Sikhi.

Have you considered a guy from back home? Not all are ****, but you have to be sharp to spot the ones that are. Some of them are generally decent and really hardworking (compared to bundhay from other quoms). Be careful of closet junkies though.  And get to know if your potential suss will be a complete ** beforehand.

Be careful of users, some of them get really devious with it, and put on all manner of front. Sociopaths are usually super charming. Don't fall for any tricks, especially an ar5ehole acting dharmic only to access a women's you know what.   

If it's too good to be true - it usually is!

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4 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Not quite. lol

I hope you find someone.  

Have you considered a guy from back home? Not all are ar5eholes, but you have to be sharp to spot the ones that are. Some of them are generally decent and really hardworking (compared to bundhay from other quoms). Be careful of closet junkies though.  And get to know if your potential suss will be a complete c**t beforehand.

Be careful of users, some of them get really devious with it, and put on all manner of front. Sociopaths are usually super charming. Don't fall for any tricks, especially an ar5ehole acting dharmic only to access a women's you know what.   

If it's too good to be true - it usually is!

Thank you and I did reach out to my mother and asked her to try to help me 'look' for someone back home. The only relatives we are in contact with are our aunt's family in Canada and my grandmother (who is not even supposed to be talking to us). I told my mother to ask my grandmother. Our grandfather cut off my mother bc my mum did some bad things apparently, I don't know. Anyway it's ridiculously hard for me and most well-meaning Sikhs would be put off by my family's situation. Actually I wasn't even religious until 2 years ago tbh.

I've already said that I don't care about his family class, caste, or income or whatever as long as he's a Sikh and kind man. 

A Dutch man from the Netherlands really likes me and i chat with him a lot, he's not religious at all though. I was wondering if I could marry a gora and introduce him to Sikhi but most goreh are so put off, they think I'm mentally unwell when I mention my religion and if he would be willing to consider it for me. 

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2 minutes ago, Jassu said:

A Dutch man from the Netherlands really likes me and i chat with him a lot, he's not religious at all though. I was wondering if I could marry a gora and introduce him to Sikhi but most goreh are so put off, they think I'm mentally unwell when I mention my religion and if he would be willing to consider it for me. 

You can’t marry someone and then expect them to change, you marry the person as is, and if they do change in the future, you decide whether their changes are beneficial to you or not. I’ve talked to a few non-Sikh girls that I liked, but ultimately the fact that they currently weren’t Sikh turned me off. 

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6 minutes ago, Jassu said:

Thank you and I did reach out to my mother and asked her to try to help me 'look' for someone back home. The only relatives we are in contact with are our aunt's family in Canada and my grandmother (who is not even supposed to be talking to us). I told my mother to ask my grandmother. Our grandfather cut off my mother bc my mum did some bad things apparently, I don't know. Anyway it's ridiculously hard for me and most well-meaning Sikhs would be put off by my family's situation. Actually I wasn't even religious until 2 years ago tbh.

I've already said that I don't care about his family class, caste, or income or whatever as long as he's a Sikh and kind man. 

A Dutch man from the Netherlands really likes me and i chat with him a lot, he's not religious at all though. I was wondering if I could marry a gora and introduce him to Sikhi but most goreh are so put off, they think I'm mentally unwell when I mention my religion and if he would be willing to consider it for me. 

Don't let that family background thing make you feel any way. Because people might sense it and try and exploit it. Make sure you have a strong sense of self, develop it. Sikhi helps big time in this. 

I find western european goray are point blank anti-religion/dharmic and think it is some quaint, backwards thing. Strangely, some americans seem more open minded to it. 

Make sure you value yourself. 

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11 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

How would someone tell this just by online interactions? 

It's harder, but it depends on how astute you are to language use and little body language giveaways. The eyes, body language and language itself speaks volumes. It's intuitive I think. 

Plus, from what I see with younguns, after a few 'online dates' they decide to meet. This actually seems smart, as long as a women is able to spot red flags. That way, you don't have physical proximity before having some idea of what the bloke is like. 

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Yh and I have not taken Amrit or anything. My hair is long and I don't wear a turban & I care about my fitness and stuff. Basically I used to post a lot on Instagram and other social media sites and if you saw pictures of me you would not think I am religious in any shape or form. I'm trying to change though. I'm trying to learn more about Sikhi.

Like don't get me wrong there are definitely some Punjabi men who have taken an interest in me but I've noticed after talking to them more these are not the type of men I want in my life. A lot of Punjabi guys in the UK are very bad imo. A lot of Pakistanis always try to date me and get close to me. I would say it's mostly white men who show an interest in me though. There are also so many older Pakistani men interested in me, they stalk me online. Black men don't really show an interest but then again we don't really have blacks in my town and I don't interact with them either lol.

It just makes me mad, how can that Dutch guy be so kind to me and talk to me everyday but whenever I try talking about religion he tries to change the topic and treats me coldly. It's so annoying. I noticed that white men are more empathetic than desi men, he rlly tries to listen to my feelings and what I think. Unless if it's about my culture or religion. He gets passive aggressive then and tries to divert the topic. 

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Anyway I don't think I should talk to him anymore. He told me he would like to come to England and see me and I'm not so sure anymore. Like he's handsome and has a good job but I can't be with someone who ignores a big aspect of who I am.

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23 minutes ago, Jassu said:

Yh and I have not taken Amrit or anything. My hair is long and I don't wear a turban & I care about my fitness and stuff. Basically I used to post a lot on Instagram and other social media sites and if you saw pictures of me you would not think I am religious in any shape or form. I'm trying to change though. I'm trying to learn more about Sikhi.

Like don't get me wrong there are definitely some Punjabi men who have taken an interest in me but I've noticed after talking to them more these are not the type of men I want in my life. A lot of Punjabi guys in the UK are very bad imo. A lot of Pakistanis always try to date me and get close to me. I would say it's mostly white men who show an interest in me though. Black men don't really show an interest but then again we don't really have blacks in my town and I don't interact with them either lol.

It just makes me mad, how can that Dutch guy be so kind to me and talk to me everyday but whenever I try talking about religion he tries to change the topic and treats me coldly. It's so annoying. I noticed that white men are more empathetic than desi men, he rlly tries to listen to my feelings and what I think. Unless if it's about my culture or religion. He gets passive aggressive then and tries to divert the topic. 

I just think you need to get your head straight for a bit. Then you'll have no problem finding a bloke. 

I think a lot of Panjabis can be a bit sociopathic depending on their upbringing. That upbringing can harden the hearts of the best of us. lol

If this guy is denying a important emerging part of you - then do you really need any advice on what you should do? 

 

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There are also so many older Pakistani men interested in me, they stalk me online.

Really??? I'm shocked.......never heard that before.

lmao!!!!

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24 minutes ago, Jassu said:

Anyway I don't think I should talk to him anymore. He told me he would like to come to England and see me and I'm not so sure anymore. Like he's handsome and has a good job but I can't be with someone who ignores a big aspect of who I am.

Don't throw away the potential of a loving caring relationship for something you only recently decided was 'a big aspect' of your life.  Unless you are prepared to face the real fact of being single your whole life. 

Love conquers all. Isn't that what all religions are about anyway, except for those that exclude unbelievers?

The fact you have your mother's support should be your first consideration. 

Why not invite him over and then see where it goes without predetermining an outcome. And involve your mum in the process? 

 

 

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