Marriage, The Perception Of Beards And Turbans, And The Future Of Our Religion (My Story)

[joker]

its been 6 years since your post, have you found a women. 

[californiasardar1]

8 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

That's an admirable way of looking at things. That's integrity. 

You know this already but life is harsh; people are rarely any better. I'm guessing you wish you could tune out that nagging voice in your head and go with the flow like everyone else, and not over think things too much. So what's the plan? Forget about everyone else, what do you want to happen?

 

I don't really have a plan.  I have moved back in with my parents and have focused on taking care of them, sorting out my career, and exercising.  I haven't been looking for a girl, haven't been going to the Gurdwara, haven't kept in touch with the Sikh community.  From time to time, I feel a sense of deep regret, like I've missed out on something.  And I wish my parents had grandchildren they could play with and look after.  But overall, I am happier now than when I was trying to meet a girl.  Life goes on.

I posted on this thread again because I had an experience recently which brought back the emotions and thoughts I had when I was trying to meet a girl, and it made me wish the situation for me and people like me was different, and that something could be done about it.  Perhaps if there was some support structure for young men during their formative years, they could come up with a better way of overcoming this obstacle than just ignoring it and moving on with their lives.

[scali]

Need is an illusion. One is complete in itself like a hologram where EACH PART CONTAINS THE WHOLE. God made its creation just like it is. Needing anyone or anything usually drives it away.

Belief creates reality believe first then manifestation will follow. Last thing I would worry about is getting along with the Punjabi crowd. Most are low self esteem lost sheep. Follow only your Guru Sahibs. What you see in them you will see in yourself (This is the key to positive manifestation) you become what you worship.

[singhbj singh]

nimakh kaam suaadh kaaran kott dhinas dhukh paavehi || gharee muhath ra(n)g maanehi fir bahur bahur pashhuthaavehi ||1||

For a moment of sexual pleasure, you shall suffer in pain for millions of days. For an instant, you may savor pleasure, but afterwards, you shall regret it, again and again. ||1||

[MisterrSingh]

1 hour ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

I don't really have a plan.  I have moved back in with my parents and have focused on taking care of them, sorting out my career, and exercising.  I haven't been looking for a girl, haven't been going to the Gurdwara, haven't kept in touch with the Sikh community.  From time to time, I feel a sense of deep regret, like I've missed out on something.  And I wish my parents had grandchildren they could play with and look after.  But overall, I am happier now than when I was trying to meet a girl.  Life goes on.

I posted on this thread again because I had an experience recently which brought back the emotions and thoughts I had when I was trying to meet a girl, and it made me wish the situation for me and people like me was different, and that something could be done about it.  Perhaps if there was some support structure for young men during their formative years, they could come up with a better way of overcoming this obstacle than just ignoring it and moving on with their lives.

Be your own source of support, my friend. I use to lament the lack of empathy or institutions designed to cater to some of the unique situations we as foreign born Sikhs find ourselves in. I guess I just got tired of waiting for the "other" to lend a helping hand, so I began to toughen up and embodied the support I was craving. 

It's good that you're taking care of your parents. Just play it by ear and see where life takes you. But don't confuse Sikhi with the rank and file Sikh community. Sometimes it's confusing to see where the distinction is, but it's there. Don't let any form of resentment eat away at you.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

3 hours ago, singhbj singh said:

nimakh kaam suaadh kaaran kott dhinas dhukh paavehi || gharee muhath ra(n)g maanehi fir bahur bahur pashhuthaavehi ||1||

For a moment of sexual pleasure, you shall suffer in pain for millions of days. For an instant, you may savor pleasure, but afterwards, you shall regret it, again and again. ||1||

Are the 2 in the picture married or was it Fornication? It makes a huge difference.

[singhbj singh]

6 hours ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Are the 2 in the picture married or was it Fornication? It makes a huge difference.

Just read the full Shabad for clarity

http://beta.igurbani.com/shabad/1561?verseId=18531

[californiasardar1]

On 2/14/2017 at 4:06 PM, MisterrSingh said:

Be your own source of support, my friend. I use to lament the lack of empathy or institutions designed to cater to some of the unique situations we as foreign born Sikhs find ourselves in. I guess I just got tired of waiting for the "other" to lend a helping hand, so I began to toughen up and embodied the support I was craving. 

It's good that you're taking care of your parents. Just play it by ear and see where life takes you. But don't confuse Sikhi with the rank and file Sikh community. Sometimes it's confusing to see where the distinction is, but it's there. Don't let any form of resentment eat away at you.

 

I understand the importance of having a "can do" attitude, but if we can do something for younger Singhs, we should. 

My parents' generation could not provide any support and guidance because of the cultural barrier, generation gap, and the emerging hatred of Singhs that they did not have to grapple with.

Now we have a generation of Sikh men with their dhari and kesh intact who have been raised in America, Canada and the UK.  We are in a position to reach out and, at the very least, provide more understanding and support than our parents' generation did.

 

This goes beyond Singhs' problems with girls.  Just having some "big brother" types who could provide advice and facilitate activities and habits that build confidence and self-esteem for young Singhs could really help them in many different aspects of life.

[Guest Jacfsing2]

36 minutes ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

I understand the importance of having a "can do" attitude, but if we can do something for younger Singhs, we should. 

My parents' generation could not provide any support and guidance because of the cultural barrier, generation gap, and the emerging hatred of Singhs that they did not have to grapple with.

Now we have a generation of Sikh men with their dhari and kesh intact who have been raised in America, Canada and the UK.  We are in a position to reach out and, at the very least, provide more understanding and support than our parents' generation did.

 

This goes beyond Singhs' problems with girls.  Just having some "big brother" types who could provide advice and facilitate activities and habits that build confidence and self-esteem for young Singhs could really help them in many different aspects of life.

Ever since the supremacy of Dhan Dhan Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji has been questioned with the "all religions are equal", society our Panth has lost its confidence. Even some great preachers are now saying lies like you can meet Vaheguru from any way.

[dallysingh101]

22 minutes ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

I understand the importance of having a "can do" attitude, but if we can do something for younger Singhs, we should. 

My parents' generation could not provide any support and guidance because of the cultural barrier, generation gap, and the emerging hatred of Singhs that they did not have to grapple with.

Now we have a generation of Sikh men with their dhari and kesh intact who have been raised in America, Canada and the UK.  We are in a position to reach out and, at the very least, provide more understanding and support than our parents' generation did.

 

This goes beyond Singhs' problems with girls.  Just having some "big brother" types who could provide advice and facilitate activities and habits that build confidence and self-esteem for young Singhs could really help them in many different aspects of life.

I think the foundations for that thing is now around. 

It's just given our community, what you will get a lot of, is 'tough love', especially for males.